Joy and Tiers (33 page)

“That’s just it Tara, I can’t understand what he doesn’t tell me,” I lament with frustration.

“I think that there are a couple of factors at work here. First, he’s bound by a sense of confidentiality. Secondly, he isn’t really the artistic sensitive type like Aidan. He’s going to be more reticent to share. He’s used to being the strong silent type that doesn’t need anyone. Relying on someone else for emotional support is a brand-new experience for him. If I were to guess, you are probably the first woman that he’s ever fully trusted. It’s going to take a while for him to develop a new communication style with you, so you need to be patient. You may need to listen to the things he doesn’t say as much as the things he does.”

“Well, hello ‘Dear Abby’—how did you get so smart about relationships? I thought you were the shy one,” I tease. 

Tara giggles. “There’s something to be said about the love of a good man to give you added perspective about life.”

“Tyler, I don’t know why you think any of us would be shocked by this. We all saw the writing on the wall months ago. You two have been throwing off more sparks than a firework factory since the moment you met. Congratulations. Buddy, I have to ask though, where is her ring?” Jeff asks as he crosses his arms.

“It’s funny you should ask that…the engagement sort of snuck up on me. I meant to be better prepared,” I start to explain.

Jeff practically falls off of his chair, he’s laughing so hard. When he finishes, he says, “Let me get this straight— you’ve been in love with her practically since you laid eyes on her, and you’re the guy who plans military missions and undercover operations for a living—but you forgot to plan for your own engagement? That’s just too funny. She’s not pregnant is she?”

“No! Remember how insulted you were when people assumed that about you and Kiera? Well, ditto.”

Jeff looks slightly chagrined, but still snickers, “Sorry. I shouldn’t assume anything. But, I’m still trying to figure out how this went down, especially after you flicked me so much crap about Kiera. I would’ve expected you to propose with a horse-drawn carriage and a whole 18 piece orchestra.”

I rake my hand through my hair. “I hear you. That’s the kind of proposal that she deserves. In fact, I think that’s what she was expecting, but we were having this intense conversation and it just seemed right to improvise. So, that’s what I did. Never in a million years did I expect to do this ass-backwards. Thank God she seemed okay with it.”

 Just then Heather walks back in to the room followed by Kiera, Tara and Mindy. It’s clear from the expressions on their faces that they’ve been sharing secrets. Mindy hops up on a bar stool and pops a blueberry in her mouth. “Uncle Ty, are you getting married at the same time as Uncle Aidan?”

I concentrate on not dropping the pancake I’m flipping as I answer, “No, they got engaged first, so it’s their turn.”

“Aunt Heather caught the wedding bouquet at Mom’s and Dad’s wedding, remember, same as Uncle Aidan. It was a tie. So everybody has to get married at the same time,” she argues.

I chuckle at her logic. “I’m not sure that the superstition is quite that precise Mindy Mouse. I think it’s enough that I plan to marry her. We’ll let Tara and Aidan have their own special day, okay?”

Mindy frowns and looks back and forth between Heather and I with a serious expression on her face. “You should really listen to me. I don’t really think that’s the plan.”

I flip the pancake out onto a plate and put it in front of her. “Mindy, I promise I won’t change my mind. I love Heather. She’s next. Look on the bright side, this means you’ll get to be in three weddings instead of two.”

Mindy just rolls her eyes at me, “Maybe someday I’ll be old enough that people will pay attention to me.”

Just then my pager beeps shrilly, disturbing the impromptu early-morning engagement celebration. I’m on back up today call.
Crap. Blueberry pancakes are my favorite too.

I kiss Heather quickly as I run out the door, “I love you, Gidget. I’ll see you whenever this wraps up. Will you make me some pancakes when I get home?” 

Heather jogs beside me as I hop in the department SUV. I roll down the window. She passionately kisses me one last time and whispers, “I’ll cook you whatever you want to eat, just be safe Cowboy. I love you too. Go rid the world of crime and all that jazz.”

I check the computer in the console. Unfortunately, I recognize the description of the vehicle all too well. I’ve been on far too many DUIs and domestic violence calls involving this guy. It’s like a revolving door. I flip on my lights and head out toward his predictable hangouts. On the way there, I see his car weaving in and out of traffic.
Shit. Here we go again
. I radio in my location and pull a sharp U-turn. 

As I walk-up beside the car, I see a head of dark curls. My adrenaline kicks up another notch. This call just escalated to deadly serious. You’ve got to be kidding me. I’ve met this kiddo before. I think his name is Nathaniel and I don’t think he’s quite two yet. He’s sitting so low in the car, I know that he can’t even be sitting in a booster seat let alone a proper car seat for a child his age.

As soon as Allan Divers sees that it’s me, I see him utter a string of profanities and try to shift his car back into gear. I throw open his car door and grab his keys from his ignition. Suddenly, he starts grappling with me. My first responsibility is to protect my weapon. I’m able to toss his keys under the car as I drag us both out of the vehicle. I order him to let go and put his arms in the air. It’s no surprise that he’s not responding to commands because the guy smells like a brewery. His son is screaming in abject terror from the car but that doesn’t seem to faze Allan at all. I duck as a meaty fist comes flying toward my face.

“Come on, Allan, man—you don’t want to do this. Think of your family. You start messing with an officer and your charges go way up.”

“I got nothing else to lose. They’re gonna take my boy. I’m not going to let them do that. You’ll have to kill me first.”

Faster than I can blink, a 6 inch switchblade appears in the hand I wasn’t focused on and he has it pressed to my side.

“Allan, look over there. Your boy is watching everything you’re doing. He thinks you’re Superman. Do you really want him to see this?” I ask trying to keep my voice even. Mentally, I’m trying to calculate how long it might take for backup to get here. I didn’t really escalate the call when I asked for backup because I foolishly thought it was going to be routine. I forgot the basic rule of policing. There is no such thing as routine.

“It don’t really matter. He’s too little to remember anyway. He’ll be better off without me. My old lady is right. I’m only good to him dead.”

“Allan, I’s’s just not true. My best friend lost his dad when he was not much older than your son and he blamed himself most of his life for his death. Do you want Nathaniel to go through his life with on his shoulders? It would be so much worse for your son, because my friend wasn’t even present for his dad’s death. Don’t make me shoot you in front of your son.”

“How am I supposed to live without him? He’s gonna know his dad is a total loser. The judge said I can’t even visit him without somebody being there with me.”

“So, if you’re honest with yourself, did the judge have a reason to rule way? Was he keeping your boy safe?”

“Hell, yeah. You’ve seen me. Spend more time in a bottle than I do sober and I got no job. My stupid old lady won’t shut up about it. She’s always yappin’ in my face I gotta take more responsibility. Well, I showed her who was boss and then she called the cops over a couple little bruises. I don’t get it. My dad used to beat the shit out of my mom and she never said a word. I barely laid a hand on Debbie and she goes and turns me in. It’s all her fault little Natey got taken away. Now, I don’t know what to do!” Abruptly, he puts his hand down by his side and starts to pace. “You got a light? I need to smoke.”

I shake my head as I step behind him to cuff him, “Sorry Allan, I don’t smoke. I gave it up when I was a teenager. Couldn’t be a jock and smoke at the same time. But, what if I could get you some help with the other stuff? You know best friend I was telling you about? Well, he married himself a phenomenal woman who happens to be a brilliant social worker. She knows tons of people in the field. She could probably help you find a really great treatment program to help you pull your life together. It’s not too late to turn your life around. Isn’t your son worth it?”

Allan looks up at me from the back seat of the SUV with skepticism clearly written on his face. “Why are you being so nice to me? I just tried to kill you.”

“Let’s just say I’ve seen stress make people do a lot of crazy things. There is enough death and destruction in this world. If I can prevent one more family from being torn apart, I’d like to do it . So, consider this a second chance. Use it wisely. Not everyone gets one.”

“
Dude, you are the weirdest cop I’ve ever seen.”

“Thank you, I’m going to take as a compliment.”

After hours and hours of paperwork and endless phone calls to get Allan situated in a detox program with treatment to follow, Nathaniel processed through Child Protective Services and reunited with his mom, I finally pull up in my driveway. As I watch Heather’s silhouette dance in the kitchen window as she’s backlit by the bright lights of my kitchen island, the adrenaline dump hits. My God! That was a close call. I just never know what I’m going to roll up on. What the hell am I going to tell Heather? Do I tell her I was a fraction of an inch from not coming home today? What purpose would serve? Am I lying to her if I don’t tell her?

Fatigue overwhelms me and I rest my head on the steering wheel as I try to gather my thoughts. I don’t know how long I sat there with my eyes closed, listening to the rain, when I hear the vehicle door open and feel Heather’s cool hand on my forehead.

“Come on, Cowboy. Let’s get you inside. You look exhausted. It’s a little late for pancakes, but I made you chili and cornbread.”

At the mere mention of food, my stomach emits a loud growl. I smile weakly as I remark, “As you can hear, I’ve got no complaints about .” I unfold my long frame from the utility vehicle, scoop Heather up in my arms and make a run for the front porch. When I set her down, I gather her up into a tight embrace and just wordlessly hold her for several minutes.

“I love you too,” she murmurs in my ear. Heather pulls away from me and slides her arm around my waist as she walks me into the house. “I understand you had a really tough day,” Heather comments as she pours me a cup of coffee in my favorite mug.

I try to school my features to cover my surprise. “I’ve had better days. Why? What have you heard?”

Heather looks a little defensive. “Relax Cowboy, I’m not going to ask you to divulge any state secrets. I just know something big happened because Kiera went into super-secret confidential work mode not too long after you went on your call. I just put two and two together. I know you guys can’t talk about this stuff. I wouldn’t ask you to reveal anything would jeopardize your job.”

Sighing heavily, I kiss the top of her head. This is really hard. I’ve never had anybody I’ve been responsible to and before now, I’ve never wanted to. Now I want to share the whole story, I’m not sure how appropriate it is. “Sometimes, I forget you’re entirely too smart for your own good. I’m not sure how much of this I can share. But, I had a closer call than I was comfortable with today and it scared the living crap out of me. Part of me doesn’t want to tell you anything because I don’t want you to be scared and the other part of me wants to tell you everything because I want you to know what you’re signing up for when you marry me. I don’t know if makes me certifiably insane or what?”

The throbbing ache at the base of my skull becomes a full-blown headache and I rub my eyes in an effort to erase it. Heather pushes a huge bowl of chili in my direction and places a basket of steaming cornbread beside it. “Did you even eat any lunch today?” she demands.

I shrug. “Does a pack of M&Ms count?”

Heather rolls her eyes. “Have I taught you nothing? Of course not! No wonder you have a headache. Eat.”

I take a big bite. My tension melts away as the warm food hits my stomach. I used to think I had the worst luck in the world, but now I’m considering myself pretty blessed. I not only walked away from a dicey call this afternoon, but so did everyone else. Better yet, a guy’s been messed up for years may actually finally get the help he needs. I’m going to call a win. The best thing of all, is at the end of the day, I have someone to come home to now. Not just anyone, my perfect balance. Someone who sees my cracks and became my glue, saw my weaknesses and became my strength, saw my sorrow and became my joy. 

Heather is watching me like a hawk as I demolish every bite of food on the table and drink my coffee with absolute relish. “How are you, really?” she asks, concern creasing her brow. “Tell me how you really are, not what you think is the prettied up answer for public consumption. This is a conversation between us— the one safe place on the planet for you to be yourself. If you’re not safe here, you’re not safe anywhere.”