JR (25 page)

—Expect to die too, get to come to school next morning tell all their friends about it Christ, the thought of you herding them out across these filthy streets and the train that train, staring through dirty panes at the waste out there train creaking along the sun gone down leaves blowing and the wind, dead leaves blowing you and these kids along from behind…

—But I don't think they…

—Indian summer somebody says but I don't see it just the wind, sun gone down the God damned wind rising dead leaves you and these kids blowing along from behind…

—It's always a sad time of year but, but I don't think…

—Sad Christ it's, life draining out of the sky out of the world it's…

—But it's quite beautiful too, the fall colors the leaves changing you can't really say…

—See life draining out of everything in sight call that beautiful? End of the day alone on that train, lights coming on in those little Connecticut towns stop and stare out at an empty street corner dry cheese sandwich charge you a dollar wouldn't even put butter on it, finally pull into that desolate station scared to get off scared to stay on

… he'd slid the matchbox open, picking out matches to arrange all their heads in one direction —school car waiting there like a, black Reo touring car waiting there like a God damned open hearse think anybody expect to grow up…

—But was, this was boarding school? did you…

—Telling you that's what we did there, got to bring these God damned colored leaves in to class try to copy them with crayons … he squeezed the matchbox closed —I, I watch you sometimes, he looked up abruptly —your lessons I mean, on television when I don't have a class and, or when I stay out…

—But, but why in the world, my lessons aren't…

—No with the sound off I, I just watch you…

—Oh I, I see yes well I think, I wish you wouldn't stare so I think he has the children together and we really should…

—Excuse me ma'am they found this sweater in the ladies' toilet, I think one of your kiddies…

—Yes yes thank you so much Mis, Mister Urquhart I think we're leaving in a moment yes, thank you … she pressed the handkerchief to the corner of an eye, snapped her bag closed —we must leave Mister Gibbs no please, you don't need to come with us I don't think it would be…

—Did you see my sweater Mrs Joubert? It's like red with…

—It's right here Linda just, here just put it on so you won't lose it again go over and tell, ask Mister Bast to get everyone together we're leaving in a moment… she pushed her chair back. —I'll just be a minute…

—Do you, wait… !

—No please I, I just felt faint …

—Yes well here let me…

—I'm all right no it's, it's just sitting so long … she steadied her hand on the back of a chair. —You might help Mister Bast…

—But… the hand he'd raised in support fell empty and he looked after her, after her legs lost among legs of tables and chairs as he gained his own with a wince, came lifting one foot along like a weight

—say, Mister Bast… ?

—What? Oh, yes I think they're all ready what's the matter.

—Nothing foot went to sleep, listen…

—No I mean Mrs Joubert where is she, I don't think she feels well she's…

—What I'm trying to tell you she's out on her feet hardly knows it herself, look…

—No but do you know what she's…

—No and she doesn't either nobody does look Mister Bast something you should know, in spite of its appetizing symmetry woman's body's an absolute God damned chaos spend their lives at the mercy of their

bodies, whatever it is she can't handle this bunch for the rest of the day I'd try to myself but I can't even count them so listen, I just told her you'd offered to take them over, get them home on the next train and…

—Yes well, well all right but what about her she's…

—Be fine look best authority there is says just get those breasts to stop shaking we may be able to collect some fragments of the

afternoon I'll concentrate on that you just tell her you're taking this bunch over, she'll protest you insist don't be so God damned deferential just take over, women like that…

—Yes but …

—Where we going now hey…

—Where's everybody going hey where's Mrs Joubert…

—Over by where it says desserts come on …

—Look you're going with Mister Bast … he came trailing them across the floor kicking a foot out as though to shake them loose —go wait with Mister Bast… and he'd shed the last of them when he reached her sitting the edge of one of those chairs by where it said desserts rummaging her bag. —Are you all right?

—Yes but wait there was something I …

—All taken care of relax, Mister Bast just…

—That's it yes I, you don't have a piece of note paper…

—Plenty of it relax… out came bits of newspaper, cards, paper scraps

—look Mister Bast just offered to, here how's this…

—I don't, no it says Clocker Lawton's Suggestions I don't think it quite, it's for a note to a broker you see, I …

—Wait here here's a piece look, Mister Bast just offered to take…

—Beware women who blow on knots is that, that's nothing you want to keep? It's written on the…

—No no I'll remember it look, Mister Bast is …

—Oh Mister Bast that note I said I'd give you to Mister Crawley, before I forget it …

—Yes well thank you but if…

—No go ahead plenty of time relax, Mister Bast kind enough to offer to take these kids off your hands get them home on the next train I'll just get a …

—Oh but no … the pen stopped, —the school bus is meeting the four seventeen they, they wouldn't be able to get home if you leave now they, we were going to a money museum…

—No trouble is it Bast turn them loose in the money mu…

—I had the address here it's a, in a bank somewhere…

—Know right where it is don't you Mister Bast let's get them together, here two, three stay together there… !

—You're, you're sure it's all right Mister Bast it's awfully kind I, I just feel…

—It's yes it's fine it's, fine yes…

—And here's, dear it does look awfully shaky doesn't it I'm sure Mister Crawley will understand though and don't let him alarm you, he's rather a bear but I know he'll be glad to help with your aunts' stock you will get them home on the four seventeen?

—Yes and thank you, I …

—Wait yes six, seven there were twelve I think, Linda? you have your sweater? Nine where's, who's that man those boys are sitting with, there by the phones he looks…

—Businessman name of Slomin perfectly respectable, feel a little steadier now? This way…

—And Mister Bast thank you again…

—Hey Mister Bast where we going…

—Where's everybody going hey.

—Could I have a dime Mister Bast?

—All right stay together now, boys? Go over and get those two boys by the, never mind wait right here…

—Hey look there goes Mrs…

—I said wait there!

—Oh hi Mister Bast, where we …

—What are you doing in the phone booth come along…

—I just wanted to get the number off it wait, wait let me get my stuff…

—I said come along! Now where's, all right stop pushing, now where's…

—Bast look, sorry… his arm was seized from behind, —if you've got a couple of dollars for a cab…

—But, yes but wait what did she mean about a money museum she, here, she said a bank somewhere but…

—Look there's a bank out here every two blocks every God damned one of them's a money museum forget it, take them to a movie and Bast? Didn't mean to be that unpleasant look I've got to talk to you some time when I'm…

—Yes well, yes whenever you…

—We going with you Mister Bast?

—Like where's he going hey.

—The movies hey, we going to the movies?

—Come on look out, here comes the manager…

—One at a time in the revolving door, one at a … I said one!

—There's a movie hey. Over there.

—Is that it over there Mister Bast? Where it says playthings of what's that hey.

—A carte blanche invitation to ecstasy…

—Is that it Mister Bast?

But he stood staring in the other direction where the street's traffic stopped for a cab exchanging fares until its door slammed and their heads, inclining, showed through the rear window, and everything moved again, and the wind picked up a little from behind.

—Look. You can see her tits.

—You cannot they pasted something over them.

—So? peel it off, hey look at this. Relive the pulsating moment of climax…

—No subject is taboo! No act is forbidden! What's taboo hey. Hey. Look at this one. A generation in heat…

—Look at that pair of knockers!

—Excuse me…

—What?

—I thought, have we met somewhere? My name is Gall…

—I don't, not that I remember I …

—Hey! Women wrestling in a tub of eels hey.

—Look at this one what they're doing. What are they doing?

—Karate.

—Naked?

—They may not let you take them in.

—Here? Oh, no I wasn't, we were just looking for …

—There's a Western up in the next block, want to take them to that? I've got to kill some time till four o'clock anyhow, maybe I'll remember where I know you from…

—We're not seeing these women wrestling these eels?

—Wait for the light… !

—Where we going now? I thought we're going to the movies.

—That one Mister Bast? His soul seared by the flames of passion, his eyes scorched by the fires of hell…

—Seven, eight, nine, stay in line now.

—Seven eight nine, stay in line, it rhymes. Seven eight…

—Quietly!

—Didn't you pay for me? Gall pursued.

A child fired a derringer point blank in their faces. Flames climbed curtains and drapery.

—Quick her tit! Did you see it?

—That's her elbow dopey.

—Shhhh…

Unmade beds, plates, broken glasses, bottles, chairs tipped and candles flaming haphazard, underclothing and sequined smalls, feather boas, a bearskin blanket snatched away.

—Look!

—That's just her under of her arm.

—Shhhhhhh… !

Dawn, finally, and church bells faded under the hollow clop, clop, clop of horses entering the empty street. Dinner by frontier candlelight, moans and petting in the pea patch, gunfire, the fluttering pennon of the cavalry troop, sunlight, darkness, bonfires, gunfire, crowds filling the streets, milling toward the platform hung with flags and bunting in red, white, and blue.

—What time is it!

—Please, it's almost over…

—Mister Bast please just till he shoots him, please… ?

—Shhut up down there!

—Please… ?

They stumbled into each other looking back over their shoulders, erupted into the lobby in a crash of gunfire, the street on a gust of wind. —So when this one guy shot at this other guy this first guy

thought he was shooting at him so he shot him.

—Who.

—Who shot him.

—Shot who.

—We should have went to see those women wrestling those eels.

—Wait for the light! Here stay together now, this way…

—Look out hey quit pushing…

—Straight ahead, watch those stairs… !

—Wait up hey my shoelace is …

—I said hurry!

—No but can I just get a newspa…

—Can I get a candy bar Mis…

—No! I said watch the stairs…

—But where we suppose to …

—Anywhere just get on the train! six, seven how many, I said stay together!

—Boy I almost lost my sneaker back there you sitting here Mister Bast?

—Look just find a seat anywhere and, there's one over…

—No that's okay just let me get my stuff up on my, could you move your foot a second? Just so I can get my knee, there. Who was that guy we took to the movies, is that some friend of yours?

—I've never seen him in my life no, now…

—Boy he squeezed right in like he's this real old friend of yours what did he …

—I said I don't know! He thought he knew me and wanted some help with a book or something, now…

—Okay don't get mad, I just…

—And look, haven't you got a handkerchief?

—Me? sure just a second… he wedged a sneaker into the seat ahead burrowing the sweater's burst elbow into the ribs beside him, coming up with a discolored wad —here.

—No I mean you. Use it.

—Oh. He blew his nose hard and then wiped the back of his hand across it. —Are you a college graduate Mister Bast?

—I went to a conservatory.

—Oh… he looked up from the handkerchief's contents and wadded it back. —What did you learn there, how to be this forest ranger?

—This what?

—I mean like now this is all you do is teach?

—No, no I have my own work.

—What, like you said before you're going in the city on business? I mean what business you in.

—Look I'm not in, what… ?

The conductor's punch tapped the rim of the seat ahead. —These kids all with you?

—Yes they, here get your tickets out…

—You got them.

—Didn't she give you them, Mrs Joubert? Like she kept them so we wouldn't lose them.

—But she, no, no you mean nobody has a ticket? But does, did any of you bring any money?

—Six, seven… the punch counted over their heads, —eight…

—That's all you've got hey? a dollar? Wait a second… the handkerchief wad surfaced again bringing with it a tangle of bills, paper scraps, a pencil stub —five, six, seven how much do you need hey… the bills came up damp and separate, —that's nine is that, no you take the change that makes it easier to figure when you pay me back, okay?

—Well thank you yes but, but is all that yours?

—What this money? Sure why, you want one more to make it ten even? A single came off freed in a wad of its own —I mean that makes it easier to figure up the interest and all, you know?

—Yes but, all what I …

—No I just mean the interest like, I mean that's what we're having now these percents could you move your knee a second? I mean this here portforlio the zipper never hardly worked right even when I first got it you know? he tugged at the battered thing —holy shit look at that it's already ripping, I mean that's why I need this here professional carrying case you know … ? he got it opened on his lap extended now with both feet dug into the hinge of the seat ahead, —see? I mean like here it costs thirty-four million dollars to equip this armored division and it costs like ten million dollars to equip this here infantry division see so what you have to find out is …