Authors: William Gaddis
—I don't offhand no but, but you don't mean a child may have been…
—Yes well no we probably would have heard from a parent by now but of course these days you can't always excuse me, hello … ? Yes just a minute Leroy where's, yes here if you just take this schedule Mrs
Joubert you can ahm, I can tell them you'll meet them at ahm, whatever it says there yes…
—Thank you I do appreciate…
—Yes well thank you for ahm, for coming in Mrs Joubert excuse me, hello … ? Yes excuse me I have someone on the other phone here,
hello Leroy… ? But what happened to them that many, even that many picnic forks can't just disap… yes but where transshipped where, who auth … I know it said six J yes she just left I meant to ask her what … no well then do they know where the rest of the shipment went that never got here in the first pla … No I know it, I know we never found them in the budget that's why they must have something to do with the cafeteria lunch program, if it looks like we're turning down a federal subsidy they might withhold funds like they're threatening on the milk if this Coke machine's installed in the… What… ? No now wait a minute just tell him to wait a minute Leroy, we … no there's nothing in the curriculum that calls for brake linings unless Vogel of course
ahm, how many… How many? No well even Vogel couldn't use that many bra … No I'm not coming down to the freight office no, you … no well that can't… no now wait a minute, what caliber… ? No well that's no, no we don't even have a rifle club unless of course the government is ahm, yes well just tell them to … no no I don't want to talk to Agent Teets no just tell him to… no I have someone waiting on the other phone here just tell him to, to hold everything there I have somebody at the door, yes… ?
—Is this here rehears…
—There is no rehearsal no! I said you'd hear it announced in homeroom, close the door behind you. And wash your face, hello … ? Oh yes no I'm sorry Father I didn't mean… I saw it yes I was just ahm, just going to call you about it myself could you hold on just a moment? I have another call here I'm, hello… ? Gottlieb? just hold on a minute I have Father Haight on the other phone here about the … yes. Hello, Father? Yes about all that fine publicity you had on the blessing ceremonies for your new plumbing facilities of course we… pardon?
Yes yes no your new tv facilities of course that's what I … yes of course I'm aware you have plumb … Yes yes I realize your brother and the Archbishop would have made the front page if it hadn't been for the accident but of course we didn't arrange… one of yes well of course the boy was one of our ahm, our youngsters yes but of course the condition he was in when he ran out of the building here was ahm, we
… no yes of course we didn't no he wasn't ahm, wasn't in our driver training program that is to say I think one of his classmates said he'd learned from a comic book but of course Major Hyde didn't… he is on our school board yes Father but I'm sure that had nothing to do with… that he was instrumental in installing your cable facilities yes I'm sure if he promised it would be on the front page he had every intention of ahm, no intention at all that is to say of taking over the front page himsel… as soon as he gets out of the hospital yes Father I'm sure he …
I'm sorry your brother feels that way Father, I'm sure Maj… that he's a retiring general yes I'm sure Major Hyde is aware of that Fa … I will yes Fa … yes yes thank you for calling Father. Hello? Gottlieb? Yes that was Haight on the other line he … no no Father Haight down to the parochial school, he said his brother who's leaving the Army had made a great effort to attend their dedication and deserved something better than being tucked back on page seven because the whole front page was taken over by … his statement about wanting to continue to
serve in however humble a position yes that he's ahm, looking for a job that is to say yes he … Yes no I wouldn't call Vern about it no I'm sure he wouldn't want to ahm, he's so upset about all the blacktopping he's liable to … just the lawns yes, all … yes well all the trees too that is to say Parentucelli said he couldn't get his equipment in unless they were out of the way and so of course he … to get the whole job done in that one afternoon that is to say yes so of course when Vern got home he
… yes well of course it's just one of those little misunderstandings like our French doors opening the wrong… yes who Ganganelli? The town board meeting on this Flo-Jan hearing for leasing the town dock yes, they… twelve hundred a year with a five-year lease and option to, someone at the door here, yes?
—Sorry, I didn't mean to …
—No that's all right yes come in Gibbs I'm just ahm, this phone line to the bank that is to say hello… ? Yes I haven't heard anything on it no, no Dan was going to feel his wife out but of course he's in no position to ahm, to feel anyone up right now that is to … no but of course we can't embarrass Fedders he has the union ahm, war chest down to the bank in deposit certificates and of course he's directed the purchase of mortgages through the bank in their pension fund so that ahm, ahm yes I'd better talk to you about this later down to the bank if… yes if there's any question of Ace Transport defaulting on that loan of course we… what? Glancy did… ? Yes but of course right now Glancy's credit
is ahm, how did he finance the… yes well of course if you sold him a new Cadillac they must have looked into his ahm, if he's driven it out of the showroom that is to… down to the bank yes, come down to the bank. Yes now, Gibbs?
—Sorry to bother you with this Whiteback, just a small matter of money I …
—That yes I'm glad you remembered it ten ahm, yes ten dollars and forty cents? I wrote it down somewhere yes the money we disahm, reimbursed the boy who turned in those train tickets just a matter of bookkeeping of course but I'm glad you ahm, you have it there?
—Matter of fact… digging in pockets he'd come up with a crumpled cigarette, —that's not…
—Yes well of course excuse me, hello… ? Oh Mister Stye yes I … no I'm not at the bank now no, no I … oh I see you're at the bank yes could you hold a minute? I have another, hello… ? Well what are you doing still at the freight office, I said just to tell them to … you mean
just now? It all arrived just now … ? Yes well no they'll just have to find a place to store them until we… because we can't set up all these appliances there without moving all the teaching equipment that's already … no because Dan's still out from the accident and I can't do anything without his, hold on a minute Leroy I've got Mister Stye on the other line about the stolen baseballs just … I know it's your dime yes just, just say we'll call Monday and hang up then. Yes hello Mister Stye? yes, yes about the stolen baseballs but Mister, Major Hyde you remember Major Hyde wanted to talk with you sometime too about this empty ahm, empty slot coming up on the school board, he … no not his empty slot, no he should be out of the hospital in another day or so, yes… yes he was sitting in the death seat I think you call it in the insur, the phrase they used in the paper that is to say beside the driver, sitting beside Mister diahmCephalis when the car hit them and… oh you do? Yes, yes I do too I have another call waiting, thank you for ahm… Hello? Oh. Yes well when I gave your newspaper the statement after it happened of course we weren't aware that the boy who was ahm, who was killed that is to say stealing the car, that he was ahm… pardon? Oh yes now of course we've ahm, M:ss Waddams, our school nurse Miss Waddams has instituted urine tests right down the, down through the third grade that is to say for the detection of ahm, of drugs, any sort of drugs down through the… pardon? They hung up.
Yes now what was it you were talking about? those ahm, railroad tickets yes…
—No what I stopped in for Whiteback was ah, I just wanted to ask you how I'd go about getting a small advance.
—Oh well ahm, oh, on your ahm…
—Salary, yes.
—Oh well of course ahm, well the state that is to say Mister Gibbs the ahm, teachers' salaries are ahm, of course if you came down to the bank we might work something out on your car in terms of ahm, of a loan, a car loan that is to …
—I don't have one.
—No that's what I mean, yes, we could probably arrange one, a loan that is to …
—No a car. An automobile that is to say, I don't have one.
—A car? You don't have a car? Yes well of course no one can ahm, I'm sure we can arrange something for you down to the bank so you can get one Glancy, Glancy after all, did you hear that? On the telephone, that was Gottlieb down to the Cadillac agency he just sold one to Glancy, of course if you…
—Listen, no, I don't want a Cadillac, I don't want a car, I don't want to buy a car I just, all I need is a small advance on my salary, just…
—Yes well the ahm, with a car of course you could excuse me, hello? Oh. Yes it is … Yes we do, he … yes and doing a very fine job, he … he what? Oh, I see… Oh … I see. Yes well the, yes someone from the school of course, as soon as we … yes tell him as soon as we can yes,
goodbye.
—Never mind it Whiteback, I …
—Yes that was the ahm, have you got a few minutes Gibbs?
—What is it, I've got a train I …
—Yes that was the police they ahm, Coach, Vogel, Coach Vogel that is to say, you know him, you know him? I mean of course you could identify him that is to ahm, that police flyer telling the youngsters to, I have one right here somewhere yes, report any stranger who tries to join you in your play, do not play near public ahm, Coach was passing that field down near Hyde's ahm, Major Hyde's shelter this policeman thought looked like a public ahm, convenience I think he said and Coach stopped to join in their, throw the ball around with them that is to say and one of them, youngsters who don't know him of course one of them called the police and they ahm, you know him of course?
Coach? They just want someone to identify him so they can ahm, have you got a few minutes?
—Be glad to yes, can you drive me over?
—Yes well I was just ahm, I have to get over to the bank that is to say there was something I ahm, I'll come out with you yes these complaints that is to say Gibbs, opening class without the ahm, the proscribed openings we've had some complaints through this new citizens' group you probably know them yes let me lock this door, after those baseballs of course you probably…
—Certainly do yes who are they, the Ku Klux Klan?
—Who this ahm, this citizens' group yes no they, it's the Citizens Union on Neighborhood Teaching yes they…
—All women?
—Yes well no I don't know of course I wouldn't laugh no, no they're quite serious about their ahm…
—Their proscribed openings yes never knew one that wasn't, how about the Constitution. Next time I have homeroom I'll start things off reading the Constitution how's that.
—Yes well that sounds ahm, of the United States that is to say yes that certainly sounds like a proscribed ahm, of course the last thing we want right now is any cause for dissension that is to say all you've done for the ahm, taking on Mrs Joubert's class in addition to your own in terms of ahm…
—She's back yes, she's back isn't she?
—Yes but of course she doesn't look, quite a striking looking woman but of course these doors open out don't they yes, of course in terms of her health that is to say if we had to let her go it wouldn't cause a problem because she hasn't got her certificate none of the right credits in ahm, she studied in some foreign country where they don't have it yes I think she has a master's in French civilization which of course doesn't ahm, educationwise for teaching sixth grade social studies doesn't really do the ahm, doing a fine job of course there she is now yes quite a striking looking…
—There? Christ no that's …
—Yes no that's Mrs ahm, Dan's wife yes I think I'll go this way, my car's right around the ahm, you were going to the police station?
—I have an idea, Whiteback. Why don't you just stop in and identify Vogel yourself, save you the trouble of driving me all the way over.
—Yes well ahm, yes of course that does make things simpler…
—Just get my train then… and he turned a heel in the gravel, — sorry…
—Oh Mister, Mister Gibbs? I'm …
—Dan's wife yes … he sidestepped, —I was sorry to hear about it.
—About what, oh his accident you mean … she came on beside him
—Jack? Don't people call you Jack?
—Yes occasionally they…
—I thought you might have seen Mister Bast Jack, the young composer we had here he doesn't seem to be anywhere.
—Maybe after that rather, that remarkable lesson on Mozart he may have arranged some sort of hasty sabbatical.
—I'll tell you who arranged a hasty sabbatical for him, the same ones who sabotaged his lesson they…
—Did you see it?
—Jack I didn't have to see it, the minute they see talent and sensitivity they sabotage it and call it technical it's not just him they're after it's all of us, anybody creative scares them Jack, maybe you don't know it but they're after you too because you're talented and creative I can tell by your hands … she seized the one nearest her leaving the
curb —just your fingers, the strength of character in your thumb look…
—Yes I, I've seen it… but he did look down, slipping its length from her peristaltic grasp as though relieved to see it again —I'm sorry I, I have to get the train Mrs di…
—No Ann, Ann. Jack? because I know, because I'm a talented woman who's never been allowed to do anything Jack? I'll be home later, maybe we could get together and talk?
—Yes but I'll be, I may not be back out at all I …
—As late as you want yes Dad, Dan's Dad lives with us but they're in bed by nine Jack … ? pursued him round the turn, —maybe we can talk
… ? digging in pockets to come up with a cigarette packet, empty, crumpled and flung as he made the steps to burst out on the platform above where a length of train moaned and fell still and then, in total silence as he ran toward it, moved. The platform narrowed with his pursuit, rapping on the glass in the door at what might have been a face through the encrusted filth when all at once the door, all the doors flew open, and he staggered on as though the train's momentum had become his own in the squeal of its halt, searching a clean handhold slipping past the serge shine of the conductor's back and up an aisle through planes of smoke grabbing, as the train lurched forward, at the corner of a seat, disturbing, enough only to bring her