Jude (A Cocky Cage Fighter Novel Book 2) (13 page)

"Wanna pway at park," Xavier mutters with his bottom lip poking out, making him even more adorable than usual.

"Yeah, he had too much fun. He didn't want to leave, so I had to drag him back to the car kicking and screaming," Jax says before he sits the little guy down on his tiny
Nike
's. Xavier wobbles to get his balance but makes good progress over to my chair.

"Ju-ju!" He exclaims.

"Hey, come here X-man," I say, putting the puppy down and holding my arms out for him. He lunges for me the last teetering step and I snatch him up before he falls, sitting him sideways on my lap.

"What are you two doing?" Jax asks, trying to read the papers on the table over Page's shoulder.

Page looks up at me, letting me answer however I want.

"I'm trying to get out of the title fight." I tell him the truth.

"What the fuc-dge!" Jax yells, barely catching the profanity. "Why the hell would you do that? You've got this, Jude! I wouldn't agree to take you on for a title fight because I'd be afraid you'd embarrass me and take
my belt
weighing fifteen pounds less than me."

"I had to take Sadie to the prom in exchange for the fight," I admit to him.

"So? That's a pretty sweet deal, a girl you want to keep seeing and a title fight? What's the problem?" Jax asks.

"She doesn't know."

"Oh. Well then just tell her," he says with a shrug like it's that easy.

"Honey, I think you underestimate the American teenage girl. This will devastate Sadie," Page tells him, making me feel even worse.

"Then don't see her anymore. You need to spend your time training, not playing grab-ass with a high schooler," Jax says gruffly.

Covering Xavier's ears beforehand, I tell him quietly, "She's worth more than a fucking fight."

"Damn, Jude, you can't be serious! You finally decide to fuck a woman and after one week you're so pussy whipped that you're giving up seven years’ worth of hard work for that shit?"

My teeth grind painfully against each other when I try hard to hold back my anger. At least until Page takes Xavier from my arms and leaves the room with him.

"You wouldn't give up a fight for Page? What if she'd gone into labor with Xavier
before
that fight last year? Would you choose her over a title?" I stand up to go toe to toe with him.

"She wouldn't ask me to choose. She knows I need to fucking fight, and the difference is that we're married."

"Whatever."

"You need to man up and quit being a pussy," he says. When he jabs his index finger into the center of my chest, I want to make him bleed. "You're scared to fight Linc Abrams and you're trying to use a teenage girl as your excuse to get out of it."

"I'm not scared to fight him! I know I can beat him," I reply, knocking his hand away from me.

"Then what's the problem? Are you going to quit fighting to follow her off to college like a puppy dog? Because in three months’ time she's gone Jude, and you're an idiot if you think this shit is going to last longer than that. Then you'll realize too late that you gave it all up for
nothing
. A chance to prove you're the best in the world won't come around again if you back out this time. You probably won't ever get another IFC fight."

I hate hearing this shit from him, mostly because deep down I know he's right. Sadie's moving to North Carolina in August. Or at least she should since I can tell she wants to go to Duke. I don't want her to stay here just for me. So she'll leave. After she’s gone what will happen to us then? We’ll see each other at Thanksgiving and Christmas? By that time we'll have figured out the long distance shit doesn't work and end things for good.

Fighting is my life, and always has been. This title fight is a once in a lifetime opportunity. If I win then I can retire a rich man in a few years with all the sponsors and future purses. And Coach Briggs will make enough commission to pay Sadie's first few years of tuition.

And Sadie...I've let my goddamn cock take control of me. Yeah the sex is great, spectacular even, but that's all this is and all it ever will be. We're both too young to want anything more. Jax is right, I'm acting like a pussy for getting all fucked up over the first girl I screwed. They'll be more, lots more women I can fuck while I keep right on fighting, and I'm sure it'll be just as good as it is with Sadie, maybe even better. 

"Fine," I grumble, grabbing up the contract from the kitchen table and shouldering past him to go out the front door.

Yeah, it's going to hurt like a son of a bitch to have to end things with Sadie, but it's inevitable. The sooner it's done and over with, the better.

Sadie

I'm surprised when Jude shows up at my house within minutes after he sent a text asking if he could come over. I’m also confused since it's six o'clock. I figured he'd just tell me to meet him back at his place since he asked me to stay with him again tonight.

"Hey," I say when I open the front door.

"Hey," he says, keeping his eyes on the ground. He sounds...off. I'm instantly uneasy because I know something's wrong.

"You want to head on back to my room?" I ask, closing the distance between us. Instead of reaching for me, he takes a step back.

"Can we talk for a minute?" he asks, looking past me into the house.

Oh shit. Nothing good ever follows those words.

"Um, yeah. What's up? Why were you trying to get out of the fight?" I ask in worry. Jude has been performing better than ever. He could take on Linc today if he needed to, so why was he trying to back out?                  

Jude steps around me with a wide berth likes he’s trying to avoid making any accidental physical contact, and walks into the living room. He sits down on the very edge of the sofa like he's not planning to be here long. 

"I've been slacking off with my training and shit. If I'm going to be ready for this fight in seven weeks I need to spend every minute of every day giving it my all."

"Oh," I respond sitting down beside him. So he's saying it's my fault he's been slacking and he needs to spend more time in the gym. "Well, sure. I know this fight's important to you."

"I've been working my ass off for seven years to get a title fight and I can't go soft now. This may be the only chance I ever get."

"So you'll be busy for a few weeks. I know that, Jude. I’ve grown up around fighters. I don't mind waiting to see you until whenever you say you have the time."

"That's the thing. I don't have time for anything else. I can't do this with you anymore. I've been distracted and I can't afford to be."

He can't do this anymore.

Us.

My breath catches in understanding. He doesn’t want to keep seeing me.

"So, you're breaking up with me?" I ask, proud that my eyes aren't even watering. Probably because I'm in shock. After last night and this morning when everything had seemed so...perfect, now, hours later, he's dumping me? 

"It's not like we were really together," Jude says while looking down at the carpet, crushing me even more. "We just fucked a few times."

Just...fucked...a...few...times. Wow, that's really harsh, causing my lungs to seize up. But I'm not going to crumble in front of him. Damn it, I will make myself wait until he walks out the door.                       

"Yeah, it's fine. It's not like I thought it would last or anything. I mean, I'll be leaving for school in a few weeks anyway."

"Right," he says with a nod.

"And it'll be nice to finally be able to accept some of the dates from other guys too. Just to have a little fun this summer." The words burn my throat, but I refuse to let him see me upset or crying. He got so pissed about the other guys who showed an interest in me, here's a chance to see if he actually ever cared or not.

"You-you're gonna date those guys?" he asks, finally looking at me for the first time since he walked in. I can't decipher his expression. Maybe it's...shock? What did he expect for me to do after he breaks my heart? Stay home and pine away for him? Yes, that's exactly what I'm going to do, but in front of him and everyone else I'll hold my shit together and pretend to move on.

"Yeah," I say, pulling out my phone from my pocket with a shaky hand and scrolling through my text messages, scraping together all my strength. "This guy Chris in my Calculus class just sent me a text a few minutes ago asking what I was up to tonight, so now I can say nothing."

I'm not lying. I really did get a text from Chris Thompson, but he's a huge dork even by my dorky standards. I have zero interest in Chris or any other guy. I only want the man in front of me, the one who is breaking my heart.

"He did?" Jude asks. He's eyeing my phone, grinding his teeth together like he holds a personal grudge against the device and wants to break it. Or maybe he thinks I'm lying. 

"Yeah," I reply. As proof I hold up the screen with Chris's message and the response I'd sent back an hour ago saying, "
Sorry, but I have plans.
"

"Oh, well...guess that's...good for you. I better go," he says, getting to his feet.

"Yeah, I need to grab a quick shower and get ready, so I guess I'll see you around the gym," I say with forced bravado.

I'm crumbling on the inside and don't know how much longer I can hold it in. I need to get him out of here.

I head to the front door and open it wide, biting my bottom lip so it won't tremble. In a million years I never saw this coming, not after spending the night with him, with him telling me he thinks about me all the time. Now I've been deemed a
distraction
standing in the way of a stupid fucking fight.

"I'm sorry, Sadie," he says when he comes to a stop in front of me, yanking the bottom block free from my
Jenga
tower of wobbly control. I can't even bear to look at him, especially when he breaks out his incredible acting skills. His voice even manages to sound shaky with his final parting jab. "I wish...I wish things were different."

I shut the door as soon as his ass clears it. Then the first of many sobs escapes my throat when I finally let myself collapse.

…

Jude

"Malone, what the fuck?" my wrestling coach yells when I give up my back to Alex.

Again.

"You know better than to fall for this shit!"

He's right. I'm the best grappler in the place, but I'm so goddamn distracted that I can't think of moves or defenses to use against the other fighters. All I think about is Sadie. More specifically Sadie naked. With other fuckers. Like several of my teammates who I've overhead have gone out with her this week.

Maybe if Alex had been one of them, I'd have better motivation to kick his ass. As it is, Matt is at the top of my shit list and I can't wait to get my fucking hands on him. And choke him to death. I warned that sonofabitch to stay away from her!

Telling myself I shouldn't, I don't heed my own advice and glance over to the front counter. And...there she is. I swear she gets more beautiful each day just to taunt me. Today she's teasing my cock with a blue sleeveless dress. The swells of her breasts are pushed up from the top, so far I know it'll only take one jerk of my finger hooked in the front to completely expose them. The damn dress is too short too. An abundance of thigh is showing even when she's just standing there in high strappy sandals that make her lean legs sexy as fuck.

I swear she's intentionally trying to kill me and every guy in the place. The productivity of all the fighters steadily declines as soon as she comes in from school every afternoon. We need a new gym dress code or to just ban her all together for being so damn distracting. I could try to get everyone to sign a petition, but I already know they would refuse. She's too fucking hot.

The girl’s even managed to fuck up my ability to masturbate. My hand is an extremely poor substitute now that I know how amazing it feels to be inside of her tight, wet heat. I can’t even get myself off unless I’m thinking about pounding between
her
thighs or down
her
throat. No one else will do. She’s fucking ruined me.  

At least she'll only be here for a few more weeks. God, why does that thought cause my chest to hurt like an elephant’s sitting on it?    

While I'm letting myself watch her for a few seconds, she smiles and flips her blonde hair over her bare shoulder before taking the offered money for a protein shake from Sam, one of the lightweight fighters. Even from here I can tell he's practically drooling over her. Bastard.

"Malone, let's call it a day until you get your fucking head on straight," Coach Snyder snarls before walking away with a disappointed shake of his head.

I use the excuse of getting a water from the fridge to be closer to Sadie. Now I can hear her laugh, which is another brutal body shot.

Heading to the locker room I force my eyes to stay away from her, practically having to close them to ensure they follow my order. I strip out of my sweaty shorts and grab my shower bag, needing the scalding water to pour down and beat some sense into me.

I can't even escape Sadie in the goddamn shower. I hear that fucknut Matt talking to someone about her. It takes all my willpower not to go over and smash his face into the tile wall.

"After two dates, Sadie still refuses to give it up," he tells one of the other guys.

Relief floods me.

"You throwing in the towel yet? I told you it's a lost cause. Complete cock tease," Mike Roberts, possibly talking now, a light heavyweight fighter.

"Hell no! It's definitely going down Saturday. She's having a pool party after graduation, and she says her dad's promised he'll stay the fuck away. ‘Bout damn time since he's such a cock-blocker."

I want to punch a hole through the shower wall thinking about him and her. And there's not a single damn thing I can do about it. I broke it off with her. She can date and fuck whoever she wants. I had no idea it would hurt so fucking bad.

I try to remind myself why I had to end things. Something about I need to focus on getting ready for the title fight, which is ironic since now I can't think about a goddamn thing but her. Oh, and she's getting ready to move away, go off to college and sow her wild oats while I stay here and...train. Yeah, those sounded like great reasons about four days ago. Now? Not so much.   

"...three hours, at least, and I plan to be pounding my cock in her the entire time," Matt says. "Then she's leaving for the beach Sunday, so I can fuck whoever I want while she's gone without her finding out."

Giving up on the rest of my shower, I grab my shit and walking out with suds still in my hair. I can't take it anymore. Barely drying myself with a towel I quickly dress and get the fuck out of dodge, wondering for the millionth time if I’d made a mistake.

...

Saturday morning bright and early I'm bouncing my knee, fidgeting in my folding chair on Landon private school's lawn waiting for the graduation ceremony to start. Jax is on my right with Page next to him minus X-man who's staying with our dad. On my left is Coach Briggs.

"You got ants in your pants?" Coach asks me and Jax chuckles.

"No."

"Then settle the hell down. Xavier wouldn't be as spastic as you sitting here."

I try and sit still, chewing on my fingernails instead. There, hopefully that won't bother anyone.

"Snyder and Jefferson say you've been off this week," Coach remarks.

Great, now let's talk about what a fuck up I am.

"What happened? I thought you were on fire, kicking Jax's ass and all."

"He wishes," Jax mutters.

"Just tired," I make up the excuse. Although, I have been exhausted, and unable to sleep or do anything else but obsess over who's fucking my girl. Only she's not mine anymore and I shouldn't care what the hell she's doing or whom.        

"Well, get some rest at the beach and just focus on cardio. Then when you get back I want you firing on all cylinders."

The beach. Yeah, I'm still going, only because it's unfair for Sadie to miss out if I refuse. My bag's packed and ready back in my apartment. It'll be a whole week of twenty-four hour torture being so close to her without being able to touch her. Can't fucking wait.  

"I need another favor," Coach whispers.

I let out a groan. "I'm tired of you and your fucking favors!" I snap at him so loudly some of the other parents turn around and look at me. I simply glare back at them.

"This is an easy one and something you were probably going to do anyway," he says. "You know Sadie's having a graduation party this afternoon? Well, like a dumbass I assured her that I'd give her the benefit of doubt and not stick around to chaperon."

"Yeah I've heard," I mutter through my gritted teeth.

"I need you to go and just keep an eye out to make sure they don't do anything stupid."

"I'm not a babysitter."

"Yeah, I know, and they won't think of you as one. But the younger guys look up to you and will listen to you if it comes down to it."

Would I stop Sadie from fucking that lowlife if I could? Hell yes.

He just wants to use her and move on to his next piece of ass, and she deserves more than that. I'll do it for her, not selfishly for myself. Sure.

"Fine," I grumble.

"Thanks," Coach says quietly, right as the long line of graduating seniors file in to take their seats. My eyes instantly find Sadie near the front, looking gorgeous in her blue cap and gown. "That fucker Matt's been trying his best to weasel his way under her skirt all week. I swear he thinks I'm a blind fool."

The fucker in question is sitting two rows up from us. A lot of the
Havoc
guys came to see Sadie graduate. She's like a sister to most of them, although they're all starting to see her in a much less innocent way.