Judging June (Downtown) (8 page)

I THOUGHT THAT KISS WAS real. I fucking thought—
what the hell was I thinking?
We were stunned, happy, overwhelmed, vulnerable; of course the kiss happened because of that. He—ugh, he only agreed to marrying me because he thinks it’s the right thing to do for the baby. . . . not for me. I don’t want to marry him. Not now. Not ever. My father can’t make me and neither can Phillip. My mother agreed with me wholeheartedly and was just as annoyed at the rash decision. She said she will discuss it with my dad and make this mess go away. Phillip. . . .
damn you!
Damn you for making me fall for you. Damn you for being so fucking gorgeous, and for trying to be perfect for me. It all went downhill, tossed out the window when you fell for that lousy marriage card. You don’t see me for
me.
You only see me as an oven for your baby. That kiss was nothing to you.
Nothing!

That night I asked Faith to come to over to my apartment. I needed my best friend. I needed to hear her tell me I made the right decision in shoving Phillip away. She had to agree with me—
she just had to.

When she came over I admired the rose tattoo on her upper bicep; there was no rhyme or reason for the design, she just loved the way it looked. It was going to take one more session to complete the rose, but for now it was looking quite beautiful.

Lucky was going to love it.

I showed her the ultrasound picture; we both cried, laughed and talked about how incredible it was seeing my tiny little bundle on that screen. It was beyond anything I have ever imagined. We got to laughing as I described myself spread out like some science experiment, with a penis looking thing up my va-jay-jay. It was friggin’ hilarious, and we couldn’t stop giggling over it. Still. . . . the whole process had been equally awkward and extraordinary. Phillip—
oh Phillip.
How astounded and moved he was. He literally had no words, I could see it in his eyes; he was in awe and I could tell he wanted to cry, yet he never let the tears fall. He kept them hidden.

Aside from the tears of joy and laughter I explained to Faith about the kiss, and what went down at my parents. We were curled up, knee to knee, on the sofa in our pj’s. She was spending the night with me and brought over some movies to watch. However it had been a long day and I was wiped, so a movie was not going to happen.

I lay my head on her shoulder. “Oh, June, I don’t know. I think I really misread him,” Faith admits.

“No. You were right, it does seem he is only in it for the baby.”

She turns her body to face me, and gets my full attention when she explains, “Honey, if I have learned one thing from being with Phillip. . . . . . it’s the fact that he’s a committed man. . . . and he falls in love. . . . hard.”

Whoa, this is heavy. That last thing she just said? It feels like a ton of bricks just landed on my head. “He can’t even stand the sight of me, much less be in love with me,” I scoff. “Oh, my God, that is the most fucked up thing you have ever said.” I bring my legs down and grab my bottled water and take long drink.
Ugh, I really hate water right now. Makes my need to pee that much more.

“Why do you think he kissed you. . . . huh?”

“We were in a vulnerable moment, I guess?” I mumble, shrugging my shoulders.

“Really? You really believe that’s the reason?” I face her with a scowl. Then she adds, “Okay. . . . getting married just because you’re going to have a baby is a bit extreme -”

I laugh, “Ha! You think?”

“It’s extreme, yes. He’s going a little too far and he shouldn’t push you into doing something you’re not ready for. The same goes with your dad, by the way. My advice is to go talk with your parents and tell them you are an adult and you make your own choices. You have great parents, June. They love you and want what’s best for you. Unlike how my father was to me, they’ll understand. . . . .they have to,” she replies firmly.

Faith’s father was a nasty, greedy bastard. Up until his death, Faith hadn’t seen him for five years. He did some horrible things to her and Lucky; blackmailing Lucky just so he wouldn’t see Faith anymore. He was awful.

We’re both silent for a couple seconds before I ask, “What about Phillip?” I curl my legs underneath my butt and lean my elbow on the sofa arm.

“Well, how do you feel about him?”

She looks at me, waiting for my answer. I hesitate, then admit quietly, “I’m falling for him.”

Faith takes hold of my hand and encourages me, “Invite him over. Talk with him.”

“But -”

“Talk with him, June-bug,” she orders. “I’m here for you, alright? For you, and the baby. I’ll support you no matter what you decide.”

This just confirms it—I have Faith’s blessing if I want to pursue a relationship with Phillip. It’s so strange though—me falling for her ex-boyfriend. It doesn’t seem right. Yet it seems right for me, because I’ve always had a thing for him. Sadly I am scared to death of getting hurt again. I don’t think I can handle another let down from Phillip. Nonetheless I am going to have to think long and hard before I decide what I want, then I will give him the chance to tell me how he feels.

A week later and. . . . .oh . . . half a dozen or so texts, and voicemails from Phillip I thought it was time to talk with him. Plus I was missing my baby-daddy. Ugh! I hate myself for even feeling that way, but I can’t just turn off my heart. I need to know if we really do have a future together, if he actually feels the same about me as I do for him. I’m not in this just for our child, I’m in this for me—for Phillip.

On a good note, my mom got through to my dad and put him in his place; he’s accepted that I am an adult and can handle my own life—thank God! One less thing to worry about.

I wring my fingers together the moment I hear a knock at my door. I texted Phillip the night before to come over so we could talk. I was a hot mess all day at work knowing I was going to see him again. I take a deep breath, smooth out my dress and open the door. One look at him and I immediately go weak in the knees, and my mouth starts to salivate. Shit, that blue buttoned up shirt he’s wearing really brings out the green in his eyes—
wow.

How I want to slowly unbutton—
Christ! Get a grip June! Let him in already!
“Come in,” I mutter, moving aside.

I offer him a beer—
man, I wish I can have a long ass drink myself.
I straighten my back and tell him, “Have a seat, boss.”

“Boss huh?” He smirks; gorgeous, devilish smirk.

I lead us over to the sofa. “Sit.”

He gives me that smirk again. “Who’s boss now?” Oh no he doesn’t! He doesn’t get to be all cute and . . .
what was I saying? Get your head screwed back on June!

“Sit your ass down,” I order him, pointing at the sofa. We both take a seat—however I sit on the opposite side of him. I don’t want to be too close, he smells too good.
God what on earth does he use? I want to lick him.

I watch him take a long swig of his beer. Those lips around that bottle.
Those lips.
I snap out of it when he begins to talk. “I’m really glad you finally got back to me. I’ve been really worried about you,” he says with a sincere expression.

I’ve been waiting to ask this question. It’s the perfect time to hear what he has to say—what he really sees. Although I need to pee like crazy, I turn to face him and blurt out, “What do you see when you look at me, I mean
truly
look at me?”

His eyes widen with surprise. “What is this, June?” He puts his beer down on the coffee table and scoots his fine ass closer.

Too close. Oh gosh, I smell his scent again. Want. To. Lick.

I shake my head out of frustration and repeat myself. “Answer me. What do you see?”

“Okay,” he starts. “I see. . . . .I see a strong, persistent—“

“No!” I shout, making him jolt. “Phillip. . . . No.” He looks very confused and taken aback. So to make this clearer for him, I look him square in the eye and sternly say, “I want to know what you see on the outside. This is not a trick question. Answer me honestly.”

In an instant Phillip’s face changes from being perplexed to now being solemn; steady. He inches his way even closer to me. I’m trapped once again—
and I like it dammit.
“Fine,” he clips at me. “I see a woman covered in tattoos, piercings, dyed hair and a pair of gorgeous fucking lips that can kiss like it’s no ones business. I see long, amazing legs that I want wrapped around my goddamned neck while I fuck her hard. I see hardened nipples I want to tug on and suck on until they are plump and red and calling for mercy. I see a woman who has the bluest fucking eyes that look crazy amazing right now when they are full of anger and hurt. I see that thing on your lip.” He touches my lip ring, tugging lightly on it making me feel helpless within his seduction. “. . . . I want to tug on it with my teeth.”
Holy—gulp.
“ . . . and this. . . . right here. .” He glides his finger along the ribbon tattoo on my upper thigh.
Oh goodness, fucking me, I’m on fire from his touch.
“I want to lick it and pretend it’s being cloaked around us while I’m deep inside of you.”
Cloaked?
Deep inside of me? Wow.
He lowers his voice, huskily, and is practically on top of me. I feel his hot breath on my cheek and notice his eyes have turned into that forest green again. He continues, “I want to kiss every inch of every picture that is on your fucking fantastic body.” He pauses, making my heart beat a mile a minute. “Not only that, but I see a woman who is beautiful, sexy and extremely hot.” He is so close to my mouth I hear the letter T clamp down from his teeth.
Mercy me.
“Last but not least, I see a woman who wants me to fuck her until she’s blue in the face.”
Yes. Yes I do.
“I know you want me just as much as I want you.”
You got that right, boss.
“Did I answer your question correctly?” He huskily asks.

My voice comes out breathy when I state, “Fuck, yes you did,” and I kiss him. Hard. I am suddenly wrapped around his torso and shoved onto the sofa, kissing the hell out of him. Tongues collide, teeth bite, breathing gets heavy and hands start exploring—until I come to a screeching halt. “I have to pee,” I blurt out, once I catch my breath. “Really, really badly.” I push Phillip off and run straight to the bathroom, with the echo of laughter in the background—
asshat!
Once I finish my business I come racing back into the living room to find him slouched on the sofa, arms crossed and a big sexy grin on his gorgeous face. I give him my best “fuck me” look, bite my bottom lip and seductively walk toward him. I stand in front of him, never losing eye contact, and slowly lift my dress up over my head, letting it fall to the ground. All that’s left is my silk panties. I climb on top, straddle him and cover his lips with mine, bringing my hands to cup his face while my tits are smashed into his chest. His hands immediately slide inside my panties, down into the crack of my ass until I slightly lift up so his fingers can tickle their way to my pussy.
What a dirty word. . . . .pussy . . . but hot damn it goes with the moment.
Oh shit, he is making me so wet! I moan in his mouth while I move with the motion of his finger.
He’s got great fingers.
I immediately unlock lips, throw my head back and quiver from the intensity of how good Phillip is making me feel. I finger through his hair allowing him to get closer to my tits. I want his mouth on them. Now. He suddenly gets the message and starts sucking on those nipples of mine, giving them a plump redness with his teeth, biting, nibbling, forcing them—me to beg for mercy. And boy do I beg him for mercy. Legs wrapped, still kissing, tugging on my lip ring with his teeth, he takes me into my bedroom and crushes himself on top of me when we land on my bed. I can’t stop kissing and touching him, he’s like a drug inside my system that needs releasing; I need to see him naked, smell his body, suck his dick, make him growl and pull him over the edge. “Take off your clothes, boss. Now,” I demand, ordering him in my utmost commanding tone.
Enough is enough—my hot alpha male needs to be naked!
He is very good at taking orders.

His hair is deliciously fucked up as he pushes away from my body. I lick my lips as I watch him unbutton that awesome blue shirt, it turns me the fuck on! I spread my legs wide and slip my fingers inside my panties and start rubbing myself. The look in his eyes go completely dark; he is hungry. I start to move with my fingers and use my other hand to tweak my red nipples—
they’re sore, yes, but nothing is going to stop them from getting tweaked.
Eyes are still locked with Phillip’s, he’s getting the best show of his life and I know he can’t wait to take over.
Holy cock
—his cock is massive, engorged and is releasing that glaze I want to taste on my lips. I am still touching myself when he wraps a hand around his length, stroking, eye fucking me and playing with my sexual desires. I can’t take it anymore. I slip my panties off and scoot myself in the middle of the bed, calling him with my finger to get his sexy ass cock over to me. Instead he climbs on the bed, pulls my legs up over his shoulders and starts eating me out. Every bad word ever said comes out of my mouth when that tongue of his swirls, bites, and sucks on my clit. I continue to tweak my nipples, and move to the sucking—I think I am going to burst, it feels AMAZING! More sucking, more swirls and I combust inside his naughty mouth, screaming.
He’s very naughty.
I really thought it was my turn, but Phillip won’t have it. I need that gorgeous cock now, my mouth is watering. I want to suck him so bad! Yet, he climbs back on top of me and kisses me slow and soft. He tastes like me, and man it’s so good and smells divine. Slowly he enters me and we start to move.
Wow—just fucking, Wow.
I really love how he moves, how he sounds when he moves, and how we move and sound together. It’s bliss, pleasurable and monumental. I am really enjoying being underneath him and feeling caged in. I like looking at his face when he pounds into me; it’s rigid, serious, and playful. I grip onto his amazing biceps; they are strong as they hold himself up while he moves in and out of me. I tighten around his torso when I feel him accelerate. He’s moving so fast I think I’m going to come again. My pussy is rubbing against him and feels so damn good—
oh God, yes!
I hit another climax.
Holy crap, where did that come from?
I scream from my release, begging him to come for me. He lifts one of my legs up and over his shoulders, just like he wanted to, and pounds me to no end. Every grunt he makes turns me on even more. It’s the sexiest sound ever. Harder, faster, faster and finally he is thrown over edge, growling his release like a wild animal. He’s my beast—my alpha beast.