Judy Moody, Girl Detective (7 page)

The rest of Saturday, and all day Sunday, Judy and her fellow junior detectives biked all over the neighborhood in search of a dark green van. They saw black vans, blue vans, brown vans, maroon vans, but not one single green van with
Toilet Emergency
written on its side and driven by chicken-eating guys with pointy ears.

On Monday morning, she, Judy Moody, was in a mood. A why-can’t-I-solve-a-mystery mood. Then came a clue, when she least expected it.

Judy was doodling paw prints with her Grouchy pencil through Mr. Todd’s talk about Healthy Habits when out of the blue, the principal came on the loudspeaker and said three magic words.

“Girls and boys, I’m afraid we have a bit of
toilet
trouble in the third-fourth wing. We had an
emergency
this morning when a pipe burst and flooded the girls’ bathroom. The
plumbers
are here to fix the problem, but we ask that you use the bathrooms by the library until further notice.”

Toilet! Emergency! Plumbers!
Those three words were music to Judy’s ears. She craned her neck to look out into the parking lot. That’s when she saw it: a dark green van, parked right across from the entrance to the school!

Judy took out her notebook and wrote
SOS
in red lipstick. She held it up for Frank and Rocky to see. Her hand shot up. “Mr. Todd, I have to go. Bad. And Rocky and Frank have to go, too.” The whole class cracked up. Frank turned beet-red. “To the bathroom, I mean.”

Jessica Finch raised her hand. “Mayday! Mayday! I have to go, too.” Jessica Finch was just being a big fat copycat. What a Fink-Face.

“Tell you what,” said Mr. Todd. “Let’s all take a quick bathroom break.”

Eagle-Eye Moody was back on the case.

Judy, Rocky, and Frank rushed out the door and down the hall. They did not head for the bathroom by the library. They headed straight for the girls’ room with the busted toilet. On their way, they ran smack-dab into Agent Stink.

“Stink, the girls’ bathroom is broken and the bad-guy plumbers are here fixing it. No lie!” Judy told him.

“Judy saw the van parked outside,” said Frank. “It’s green, just like the one at Speedy Market.”

“Mr. Chips could be right here right now!” said Rocky.

“This is big, Stink. And we only have five minutes. Be our lookout while we check out the bathroom.”

“What? You can’t go in there. There might be exploding toilets! Or bad guys! They could tie you up. Or give you a major flushie or something.”

“A flushie?” asked Judy.

“That’s when they stick your head in the toilet . . . and flush!” Frank whispered.

“Rule Number One, Stink: Don’t be afraid of flushies.” Judy reached in her pocket and pulled out her SOS lipstick. “If anything happens, I’ll write
SOS
on the mirror. Besides, I’ve got backup. Agent Rock and Agent Pearl are going in with me.”

“I’m not going in the girls’ room,” Rocky and Frank said at the same time.

“We’ve got to,” said Judy. “For Mr. Chips!”

“Hurry up,” said Stink, glancing up and down the hall. “Just yell ‘Toilet paper’ if you get in trouble.”

Judy ducked under the yellow D
O
N
OT
C
ROSS
tape. Her heart beat in her throat as she tiptoed inside. Rocky and Frank followed close behind.

“Hey, it’s pink!” Rocky whispered.

“And
the girls
have
soap,
” said Frank.

“Shh!” said Judy. The place was quiet. Too quiet. A door from one of the stalls leaned against the sink. “Who’s there?” she asked, holding her breath. She held out her Grouchy pencil for protection. She inched closer to the far end of the bathroom and poked her head around the corner of the last stall.

“AAAGH!” screamed Judy. Rocky and Frank jumped back.

“What! Nobody’s in here,” said Rocky.

“I know. But I had a scream in me, all ready to come out.”

“Toilet paper! Toilet paper!” Stink yelled, rushing into the girls’ room.

“False alarm, Stink,” said Frank. “They’re not even here.”

“No, but they
were
here,” said Judy, pointing to tools left on the floor.

“Maybe they flushed themselves down the toilet!” said Stink.

“Stink, you have flushies on the brain.”

Frank picked up a piece of old pipe. “The plumber did it, with the pipe, in the pink room. It’s like that game, Clue.”

“Maybe they’re phantom plumbers,” said Stink. “Like that phantom horse in Nancy Drew #5,
The Secret of Shadow Ranch
.”

Judy blinked. “Nice work, Agent Stinkbug. How’d you know that?”

“Um, you told me.” Judy shook her head. “I, um, might have seen it on Sophie of the Elves’s desk, and I might have just happened to take a peek.”

“Phantom or not, they were here,” said Rocky. “And where there are fake plumbers with a green van, Mr. Chips can’t be far behind.”

“For sure and absolute positive,” said Judy.

“Check this out,” said Frank. He held up a piece of old rope. One end was tied in a knot, and the other was frayed. “Evidence!”

Stink sniffed the rope. “It smells doggy, all right. The Nose knows.”

“Poor Mr. Chips,” said Frank.

“We’re getting warmer. I can feel it,” said Judy. “I’d bet my mood ring they keep Mr. Chips tied up with this rope while they fake like they’re fixing toilets.”

“But where are they now?” Rocky asked.

Judy twisted the SOS lipstick, her detective brain spinning round and round. “I’ve got it.” She snapped her fingers. “They left in a big fat hurry because they know we know.”

“How do you know they know we know?” asked Frank.

“I don’t know. Call it a Nancy Drew hunch. I just know they know we know.”

“I know my head hurts,” said Stink.

“We better hurry up and get outta here,” said Frank.

“Before Fink-Face tattles on us,” said Judy.

“It’s early dismissal today,” said Rocky, checking his watch. “Only twelve minutes before school’s out.”

“Hey, you guys have soap in your bathroom? Pink soap?” Stink asked.

“Since when is everyone I know such a clean freak?” Judy asked.

All four kids made a beeline for the door. They passed Ms. Tuxedo in the hall. “Did you see which way the plumbers went?” Judy and her fellow detectives asked at the same time. “Did they have pointy ears? Did you hear a dog barking?”

“You kids better get back to class,” said Ms. Tuxedo. “The bell’s about to ring any minute now.”

For the last twelve minutes of the school day, Judy Moody had ants in her pants. Bees in her knees. Bug eggs in her legs. Who could sit still when the green van might be back any minute?

Scoo-bee-doo, Nancy Drew! An international ring of thieves, right here at Virginia Dare School! With Judy Drewdy and her crack detectives on the case, those thieves’ dognapping days were numbered.

At last the bell rang. Judy raced out front to the parking lot. Still no green van in sight. “All aboard,” yelled the bus driver. Judy waited till the last possible second. Still no van. She hopped on the bus. The doors whooshed shut as the bus pulled out of the parking lot. Judy pressed her nose to the window of Bus 211.

There it was! A green van! A green van that said W
E FIX
TOILETS
AND OTHER PLUMBING
EMERGENCIES. A green van that said C
ALL
1-555-UNCLOG-U on the side.

That was it! It was them! Stink and Rocky saw it, too.

“STOP!” cried Judy. “Stop the bus!”

The bus driver could not stop for one kid with a not-toilet emergency. The bus driver would not stop for a solve-a-mystery emergency. The bus driver had a way-big important schedule to keep.

Judy took out her Nancy Drew lipstick and wrote
SOS
on the back window of the school bus.

The bus driver still would not let Judy off the bus. The bus driver told Judy to sit down. The bus driver did not know that in that van might be Mr. Chips.

From the back of the bus, Judy watched the green van disappear until it was no bigger than a bug. The wheels on the bus went round and round. Judy’s detective heart went
pound, pound, pound.
What if Mr. Chips was never, ever, ever found?

“I’ll find you, Mr. Chips. Don’t you worry,” she whispered to nobody but herself and the universe.

After school, Judy was sitting on her bed, chewing a pencil, trying to think of a plan. A green van plan. All of a sudden, she heard strange sounds coming from the bathroom. Splishing sounds. Splashing sounds. Flushing sounds. Gushing sounds.

Was Stink giving Astro, his guinea pig, a bubble bath? Taking Toady surfing in the tub? She climbed down from her top bunk to investigate. Mouse followed her.

“Stink, who’s in the ba —?” But Stink wasn’t in the tub. Stink was stuffing stuff down the toilet! The Hulk, Iron Man, a rubber ducky, and Mouse’s squeak toy. He poked it with his plastic lightsaber.
Wheek! Wheek! Wheek-wheek-wheek!
Mouse jumped up on the toilet to see.

Judy peered into the toilet bowl. It was swimming with dead Goldfish. The cracker kind, that is. “Stink, what are you doing? Playing Superhero Tsunami in the toilet?”

“Duh,” said Stink. “What’s it look like? I’m overflowing the toilet. Then we’ll have a toilet emergency, and we’ll have to call a plumber. The bad guys in the green van will come right to our house. We’ll flush ’em out and rescue Mr. Chips! Get it?”

“Genius!” said Judy. Just then, Stink flushed the toilet.
Spew!
Water sprayed up out of the toilet in a geyser and gushed all over the floor. Judy leaped out of the way. Mouse sprang onto the rim of the bathtub.

“Toilet emergency! Toilet emergency!” Stink yelled.