Junie B. Jones Is a Party Animal (2 page)

“A million bazillion,” I said. “But that is just a ballpark figure.”

Mother glared at me very mad.

I rocked back and forth on my feet.

“A ballpark figure is when you don’t know the actual figure. And so you make up a figure. ’Cause that will get people off your back,” I explained. “My boyfriend named Ricardo told me that. His father sells insurance, I believe.”

Mother tapped her angry foot.

“We are
not
talking about Ricardo’s father, Junie B. We are talking about going into Ollie’s room while he’s sleeping. And besides, I haven’t said that you could spend the night at Lucille’s. I want to talk it over with your father first.”

I hugged her leg.

“Please, Mother? Please? Please? I’ll be good. I promise, I promise, I—”

Just then, the front door opened.

It was my Daddy!

He was home from work!

I runned to him like a speedy rocket.

Then I hugged his leg, too. And he couldn’t even shake me off.

“I’ll be good, Daddy! I promise! I promise! I promise!”

All of a sudden, Mother swished me away again. She put me down in the living room.

Then she and Daddy did whispering in the hall.

And guess what?

They said I could go to Lucille’s!!!

“YIPPEE! YIPPEE! YIPPEE!” I shouted.

After that, I started to zoom some more. But Daddy quick grabbed me by my belt.

“Yeah, only here’s the problem. I’m not actually zooming,” I told him.

“No…
here’s
the problem,” said Daddy. “Before you spend the night with Lucille, you have to agree to the rules.”

I raised up my eyebrows.

“Rules?” I asked. “There’s rules involved?”

“
Lots
of rules,” said Daddy.

Then he and Mother bended down next to me. And they told me the rules of spending the night.

They are:
No running, no jumping, no shouting, no squealing, no hollering, no snooping, no spying, no arguing, no fighting, no cheating at games, no talking back to the nanna, no breaking other people’s toys, no grumping, no crying, no fibbing, no tickling people when they say no, no staying up late, and absolutely no head-butting
.

After I heard the rules, I did a sigh.

“Yeah, only that doesn’t actually leave me much to work with,” I said.

Mother ruffled my hair.

“Sorry, kiddo. But that’s the deal,” she said. “Take it or leave it.”

“Take it!” I shouted out. “I’ll take the deal!”

Then I kissed Mother and Daddy on their cheeks.

And I hugged them very tight.

And they couldn’t shake me off again.

The next morning was Saturday.

I jumped out of bed and runned to the kitchen.

Then I got a big, giant plastic bag. And I runned back to my room to pack for Lucille’s.

First, I packed my favorite pillow. Then I packed my pajamas and my bathrobe and my slippers that look like bunnies. Also, I packed my blanket and my sheets and a small, attractive throw rug.

Finally, I packed my stuffed elephant named Philip Johnny Bob.

He looked up at me from inside the bag.
Yeah, only here’s the problem
, he said.
You’re not actually supposed to put me in a plastic bag. ’Cause I could suffercate in this thing
.

My eyes got big and wide.

“Oh no!” I said real upset. “I forgot about that!”

That’s how come I quick got my scissors and cut air holes for that guy.

Philip Johnny Bob sniffed the air.
Better
, he said.

I petted his trunk. Then I went into the family room. And I watched cartoons till Mother got up.

Pretty soon, I heard her slippers in the hall.

“MOTHER! MOTHER! I’M ALL READY!” I said. “I’M ALL READY TO GO TO LUCILLE’S!”

I pulled Mother into my room and showed her my plastic bag.

Mother shook her head. “Waaaay too much stuff,” she said.

Then she got a teeny suitcase from the shelf. And she packed my pajamas and my slippers and my robe and my toothbrush.

After that, she got a sleeping bag from her closet. And she put my pillow on top of it.

“There. That’s all you’ll need. You’re all set,” she said.

I springed into the air.

“ALL SET!” I hollered real joyful. “JUNIE B. JONES IS ALL SET FOR LUCILLE’S!”

After that, I quick grabbed Philip Johnny Bob. And I dragged my stuff to the front door.

“ALL RIGHTIE! LET’S BE ON OUR WAY!” I shouted very excited.

Mother was in baby Ollie’s room. She didn’t come.

“OKIE DOKE! I’M GOING OUTSIDE NOW! JUNIE B. JONES IS GOING OUTSIDE TO GET IN THE CAR!” I shouted louder.

Just then, Mother runned to get me.

“No, Junie B.! No! I’m not taking you to Lucille’s, remember? Lucille’s nanna is picking you up at three o’clock. I told you that. I’m
sure
I did.”

All of a sudden, my shoulders got very slumping. ’Cause I didn’t actually remember that information, that’s why.

“Darn it,” I said very sad. “Three o’clock takes forever.”

After that, I slumped to the table and ate my breakfast.

Then I sat on my front step.

And I swinged on my swings.

And I read some books.

And I ate a cheese sandwich.

And I counted to a million bazillion.

And I sat on my step some more.

And then guess what?

Three o’clock finally came!

I saw the big gold car in my driveway!

“HEY! SHE’S HERE! SHE’S HERE! SHE’S HERE!” I yelled real thrilled.

Mother and Daddy hurried to the door.

“Are you ready to go?” said Mother.

“READY!” I yelled. “JUNIE B. JONES IS READY TO GO!”

The richie nanna got out of her car.

I throwed my arms around her.

“HELLO, NANNA! HELLO! HELLO! I HAVE BEEN WAITING FOR YOU THE WHOLE LIVELONG DAY!”

Mother pulled me off of that woman.

“Sorry,” she said. “I’m afraid Junie B. has a little extra energy in her. She’s been sitting on the step for hours.”

I leaped way high in the air.

“SITTING ON THE STEP!” I said. “JUNIE B. JONES HAS BEEN SITTING ON THE STEP!”

Daddy and Mother carried my things to the big gold Cattle Act.

And guess what? When they opened the door, Lucille and that Grace were already in the backseat!

“LUCILLE! GRACE! I DIDN’T EVEN KNOW YOU WERE ALREADY HERE! AND SO THIS IS A DELIGHTFUL SURPRISE!”

I reached inside to try to tickle them. But Mother pulled my hand away.

“Please, Junie B. Don’t start,” she said.

I saluted her.

“Aye, aye, Captain,” I said real hilarious.

After that, I got in the car and I bounced on the softie seat.

Only too bad for me. ’Cause I accidentally bounced too high. And I banged my head on the roof.

The nanna did a gasp.

I patted her.

“Yeah, only that didn’t even faze me,” I said.

After that, I buckled up my seat belt.

And I waved good-bye to Mother and Daddy.

And the nanna drove us away.

Lucille was sitting in the middle.

She whispered real quiet to me and that Grace.

“Beg for my poodle,” she said. “You
promised
, remember? You promised to beg for my poodle.”

Me and that Grace looked and looked at each other. ’Cause we didn’t actually want to do that particular thing.

Lucille poked us.

“Come on! You
promised!”
she whispered.
“You promised to beg!”

I did a sigh.

Then I thinked and thinked about what to say.

Finally, I took a deep breath.

“Hey, Nanna. Guess what? Lucille wants a poodle, apparently. And so could you buy her one, do you think?” I asked.

“Yes, could you?” asked that Grace. “’Cause she is making us beg you. Or else we can’t spend the night.”

The nanna’s mouth came all the way open.

“Ohhhh. So
that’s
what this is all about, huh? Well, my granddaughter knows perfectly well that I am allergic to dogs. So you can tell Lucille that a poodle is out of the question, I’m afraid.”

I patted Lucille very understanding.

“A poodle is out of the question, we’re afraid,” I said.

Lucille kicked her feet up and down.

“Beg
harder,
” she whispered. “You have to beg
harder.
”

I did a frown.

“Are you firm on that, Nanna?” I asked.

“No poodle, Lucille!” said the nanna very snappish.

Lucille kicked her feet some more.

“I
knew
that dumb idea wouldn’t work!” she grouched.

Just then, the car stopped in front of a big iron gate.

Grace’s eyes opened big and wide.

“Wow! This gate looks like a
castle
gate,” she said.

Lucille smiled a teeny bit.

“It’s not a castle gate, you sillyhead,
Grace,” she said. “This is the gate to my
house.”

The nanna pushed a button, and the gate opened right in front of our eyes.

“Hey, that button is like
magic!”
I said.

Lucille smiled bigger.

After that, the nanna drove down a long driveway. She stopped in front of a big, beautiful house.

Lucille jumped out of the car and ran inside.

Me and that Grace followed after her.

And guess what? Lucille’s house was even beautifuller on the
inside
than it was on the
outside!

There was a beautiful long row of stairs. And a beautiful big bowl of flowers. And a beautiful, giant, sparkly ceiling light made out of glass.

I did a gasp at that glistening thing!

“That light takes my breathing away!” I said.

Lucille skipped all around in a circle.

She singed a loud song in our ears.

“SEE? SEE? I TOLD YOU I WAS RICH! SEE? SEE? I TOLD YOU I WAS RICH!” she sang.

She made that song up, I believe.

After that, she took our hands and showed us all the rooms in her house.

She showed us the living room. And the dining room. And the kitchen. And the big giant patio. And the daddy’s office. And the mother’s office. And the family room. And the pool room where you play pool. And the outside pool where you swim. And the hot tub. And the library. And the gym. And the nanna’s room. And the mother and daddy’s
room. And the fancy gold bathroom with the Jacuzzi. And the brother’s room. And a whole, whole bunch of guest rooms.

Then finally, Lucille showed us her very own bedroom!

And it looked like a bedroom where a princess lived!

Lucille’s bed had a pink frilly roof on top of it.

“That is called a
canopy,”
she explained. “It matches my pink silk draperies and my pink silk bedspread. And my pink telephone. And my plush pink rug. And my wallpaper with pink flowers in it.

“And see my TV? And my stereo? And my computer? And my CD player?”

She pointed to the corner. “And did you notice all of my big stuffed animals standing over there?” she asked.

My eyes popped out at those giant guys. The giraffe was bigger than me even!