Junie B. Jones Is (Almost) a Flower Girl (3 page)

After that, I quick hanged up the phone.

And I zoomed all around the house like a rocket!

Also, I did a cartwheel!

And I standed on my head!

’Cause now Mother will get to see what a grown-up lady I really, really am!

Mother bought me a beautiful dress for the wedding.

It had golden puffery sleeves. And it came all the way to the floor.

Also, she bought me fancy pantyhose with glimmery shimmers on them. And brand-new shiny gold shoes.

I could not thank that woman enough!

I thanked her the whole time I was in the store.

“Thank you, Mother!” I said. “Thank
you for my beautiful dress! Thank you for my fancy pantyhose! And thank you, thank you for my shiny gold shoes!”

I smiled real big.

“Now all I need is my blue fake bunny fur cape. And I will be all set!”

Mother shook her head.

“Oh no. No way,” she said. “We’ve spent quite enough for one day.”

I looked and looked at that woman. ’Cause she has no fashion sense, apparently.

“Yes, but I
have
to have a blue fake bunny fur cape, Mother,” I said. “Lucille says a blue fur cape adds elegance to any outfit. Lucille says—”

Mother interrupted my words. Her voice sounded scary in my ear.

“I don’t care
what
Lucille says,” she grouched. “No…fur…cape.”

I quick backed up from her.

“All rightie then,” I said kind of nervous.

After that, I helped carry my bags to the car. And I behaved myself all the way home.

Then I runned to my house with all my beautiful things. And I tried my flower girl dress on for Daddy.

And guess what else?

I walked all the way down the hall!

And I didn’t even trip!

Daddy gave me a thumbs-up.

“What a perfect flower girl you are!” he said real proud.

“Thank you,” I said. “Only I’m not the
real
flower girl. Remember, Daddy? I’m just the alternate.”

Just then, my shoulders drooped a teeny bit. And I didn’t feel that happy anymore.

’Cause at first you’re very, very glad to be the alternate.

And after that…

You’re not.

That night after dinner, Mother tucked me in bed real snug.

She kissed me good-night on my head.

“Yeah, only don’t turn out my light yet. ’Cause I forgot to do something very important,” I said.

After that, I quick got out of bed again. And I looked out my window.

“Star light, star bright. First star I see tonight. I wish I may, I wish I might…have the wish I wish tonight.”

I crossed my fingers for luck.

“Dear Star, Please make Bo sick for Aunt Flo’s wedding. Love, your friend, Junie B. Jones.”

I hopped back in my bed.

Mother’s eyes got big and wide at me.

“No, Junie B.! Absolutely not!” she said. “We do
not
wish for people to get sick. You go back to that window. And you change that wish right now.”

I raised up my eyebrows at her.

“Yeah, only how can I change it? It already got sent,” I explained.

“Fine,” said Mother. “Then go back to
the window and wish a nicer wish on top of it.”

She snapped her fingers and pointed.

“Now
, Junie B. I mean it.”

I got out of bed real slow.

Then I walked to the window again.

And I looked at my same star.

“Dear Star, Mother says not to make Bo sick. And so maybe you could just give her a case of head lice and that’s all. Thank you and good night.”

Mother shook her head.

“No, Junie B.,” she said. “No, no, no.”

I did a mad breath.

“But head lice doesn’t even
hurt
, Mother,” I said back. “Head lice just takes a little extra shampoo. And that’s all.”

But Mother kept on shaking her head. And she made me change my wish again.

“Okay, Star, never mind the whole dumb thing. Only now I won’t be a flower girl for my whole entire life, probably. And so I hope my mother is happy. Amen.”

After that, I got back in my bed. And Mother turned out my light.

After she left, I did a big sigh.

“Shoot. That lice idea was a beaut,” I said real soft.

Just then, my stuffed elephant named Philip Johnny Bob tapped on me.

Don’t feel bad
, he said.
You might still get to be the flower girl.

“Yeah, only how?” I asked him.

He thought and thought.

Maybe Bo’s daddy will be driving her to the wedding. And their car will get stacked at a railroad crossing. And the train will be a million bajillion miles long
, he said.

I felt a little perkier at that idea.

“Hey, yeah,” I said. “Or else maybe his car might get stucked in something else. Like in some ooey gooey mud. Or in a traffic jam. Or in…or in…”

Or in a giant paddle of Krazy Glue!
said
Philip Johnny Bob.

After that, me and him laughed and laughed.

Then I hugged that guy very tight.

’Cause he’s always giving me hope.

Aunt Flo’s wedding took forever to get here. I waited for my whole entire life, practically.

Then, one day at breakfast, Mother told me a happy surprise.

“Well, tomorrow is the big day!” she said.

And so what do you know!

MY VERY FIRST WEDDING WAS ALMOST HERE!!!

That night, I could hardly even sleep.

I got up bright and early in the morning.

Then Mother came in my room. And she decorated my hair with a green velvet ribbon. And she helped me get dressed in my flower girl clothes.

Pretty soon, a lady came to babysit for Ollie.

Then me and Mother and Daddy got in our car. And we rode to the church together.

And guess what? There was a million
bajillion people there already!

I hurried up the steps.

Then I stood on my tippytoes. And I looked all around for Bo.

“Where is she, Mother? Where is Bo? Is she sick, do you think? Did her car get stucked in Krazy Glue? I don’t see her anywhere! And so maybe I will be the flower girl after all!”

Mother smoothed my hair very nice.

“Honey, I’ve already talked to Aunt Flo today,” she said. “And Bo is feeling fine. She’s probably getting dressed with the bridesmaids.”

Mother smiled.

“Let’s be happy for her, okay?”

I didn’t say anything back. ’Cause what’s to be happy about? That’s what I would like to know.

After that, all of us went inside. And a man named Usher holded out his arm. And he walked Mother to her church seat.

Me and Daddy followed them down the aisle.

And guess what? I still didn’t trip!

Three ladies smiled at me.

I smiled back.

“HELLO, LADIES! SEE HOW GOOD I
AM WALKING DOWN THIS AISLE? TOO BAD I’M NOT THE FLOWER GIRL, RIGHT?”

My voice sounded loud in the church.

I like that kind of loud voice.

After I got to my seat, I smoothed my dress very nice.

And guess who I saw?

I saw my Grandma Helen Miller!

She was sitting right in front of me!

I tapped on her head.

“GRANDMA MILLER! IT’S ME! IT’S YOUR GRANDGIRL, JUNIE B. JONES! LOOK HOW GROWN-UP I AM BEING, HELEN!”

Then Grandma smiled and winked. And she said don’t call her Helen.

After that, the organ started to play real loud. And everybody stood up.

Then all of us looked at the back of the church.

And what do you know?

I SAW BO!

She was walking right down the aisle! And she was throwing pink flower petals on the floor!

It looked like fun, I tell you!

My heart got pumpy and poundy inside. ’Cause Bo was coming in my direction!

And so that’s how come a great idea popped into my head. And it’s called
Hey! Maybe Bo wouldn’t mind if I took one or two petals out of her basket and threw them! ’Cause that would be fair of her, I think!

Bo kept getting closer and closer and closer.

And then, all of a sudden…

SHE WAS RIGHT NEXT TO ME!!

I quick reached for her flower basket!

“NO!” shouted Bo.

“YES!” I shouted back.

Then I tried to take some petals out of the basket. But Bo pulled it away from me. And so that’s how come I had to pull it right back again. And then me and her got into a little tussle.

Little tussle
is the grown-up word for how come she just won’t let go of the darned thing!

Then, all of a sudden, my mother reached over. And she pulled my hands right off of the basket.

Her face was steamy mad.

I did a gulp.

“Hello. How are you today?” I said kind of shaky. “I am fine. Only I just wanted two little petals. But that plan did not work out, apparently. And so now I will just behave myself for the rest of the wedding, I think.”

After that, I smoothed my skirt.

And I fluffed my hair.

And I acted like my best grown-up lady.