Junie B. Jones Is Captain Field Day

My name is Junie B. Jones. The B stands for Beatrice. Except I don't like Beatrice. I just like B and that's all.

This morning, I woke up very excited! ’Cause today we were having kindergarten Field Day at my school, that's why!

I couldn't stop shouting that happy news!

“Field Day! Today is Field Day!” I shouted to my dog named Tickle.

Then I quick ran to my baby brother's room. He was sleeping in his crib.

“Field Day! Today is Field Day!” I shouted to baby Ollie.

He woke up very fast. Then he started screaming his whole entire head off.

Mother came running right in there.

“Junie B. Jones! For goodness' sake! What has gotten into you this morning?”

I looked at that woman real curious.

“Field Day,”
I said. “Field Day has gotten into me, Mother. How could you even forget this important occasion? I have been talking about it all week, remember? Field Day is when Room Nine goes against Room Eight. And we have different races and stuff.”

Ollie kept on screaming.

“Could you quiet him down, please?” I asked Mother. “He is taking the edge off of my good mood.”

She picked him up and patted him.

“Thank goodness Field Day is finally here,” she said. “Maybe now we'll be able to talk about something else for a change.”

I danced all around that woman.

“We
will
Mother! We
will
be able to talk about something else! After Field Day is over, we'll be able to talk about how Room Nine creamed Room Eight! Ha!”

I jumped up and down. “You're coming to watch me, right? And Daddy's coming, too! Right? ’Cause Room Nine is going to win all the races, probably. So we will need lots of clapping and cheering.”

Mother ruffled my hair. “Don't worry. We'll be there,” she said. “I think Grampa and Grandma Miller might come, too.”

“Hurray!” I said. “Hurray for the whole darned family!”

After that, I ran out of the room. And I called my bestest friend named Grace on the phone.

And wait till you hear this! I didn't even have to look up her number in the phone book! ’Cause I finally got it memorized right in my head!

Its name is
555-5555.
And that was a hard number to remember, I tell you. ’Cause I kept forgetting the five.

I pressed the numbers very careful.

“Hello?” said a voice.

I did a frown.

“Grace? What's wrong with your voice? How come you don't sound like yourself today? Do you have a froggie in your throat?”

All of a sudden, I did a gasp.

“Oh no, Grace! You didn't catch a
cold,
did you? You can't be sick today, Grace! Today is Field Day! And you are the fastest runner in kindergarten! Go tell your daddy that you have to come to school, Grace. Go tell him right now! Go, go, go!”

Just then, the voice talked again.

“This
is
Grace's daddy,” it said.

I looked at the phone.

“Oh,” I said. “Hello, Mr. Grace. No wonder you don't sound right. ’Cause you are not even Grace, that's why. And so where is she, anyway?”

Pretty soon, that Grace said hello.

“Grace! Grace! It's me. It's Junie B. Jones! I am so glad to hear your voice! You're not sick, are you, Grace? You're still coming to Field Day, right?”

Grace giggled real loud.

“Of course I'm coming to Field Day,
silly,” she said. “I
have
to come to Field Day, remember? I am the fastest runner in kindergarten.”

I did another frown.

“Okay, here's the thing, Grace. You're not actually supposed to brag about yourself like that. My grampa Miller said that is called ‘tooting your own horn.’ And it is not even polite.”

That Grace did a huffy breath at me.

“I am
not
tooting my horn, Junie B. I'm just saying the truth. We have lots of slow runners in our class, you know. Like Lucille won't run fast because she doesn't like getting sweaty. And you're not exactly
speedy
yourself, Junie B.”

I sucked in my cheeks at that girl.

“Yeah? So?” I said.

“So I'm going to have to give us a big
lead,” she said. “’Cause I'm the only fast one we have.”

I made a grouchy face.

“You just tooted again, Grace,” I said.

“Did not,” she said.

“Did too,” I said.

“Did not.”

“Did too.”

Just then, my mother called me.

“Okey-doke. I've gotta go now, Grace. See ya, friend,” I said.

“See ya, friend,” she said.

After that, we both hanged up. And I skipped to my breakfast very happy.

’Cause a nice conversation always starts the day off right!

That day at school, Room Nine was very excited. We kept laughing and jumping and giggling and shouting.

Me and my bestest friends Grace and Lucille runned and skipped all over the room. ’Cause we had to warm up our muscles for Field Day, that's why!

All of a sudden, my teacher hollered our names.

“Lucille! Junie B.! Grace! Please take your seats right now!”