Just a Fan (16 page)

* * *

It was certainly wonderful to have Connor back, especially after we had been so convinced that he would be gone for a very long time. He seemed far more relaxed now than he had been just before he had left; probably he felt far less pressured with the shooting for his film arranged to begin at a later date. We had far more time to simply laze around together, go out on long walks near his house, and, of course, have some more takeaway nems, which he had become quite partial to.

Of course, Connor was not always free - he was often quite busy with his scripts and the like, and sometimes had to leave to rehearse in some studio in town. I think I rather admired this dedication to his work; he seemed to take his acting very seriously, and work very hard to get each and every role perfect. It was easy to see now why he was such a brilliant actor!

On some days, he would simply rehearse at home, with me there to help him and test him on his lines. It was rather exciting to be helping a movie star prepare for his role in a film, and I found that even someone as talented as Connor sometimes stumbled on a line and had to start again.

Whenever he finished his rehearsal of a scene, I would enthusiastically applaud him.

'Wow,' I said to him as he gave me a bashful grin. 'This is almost better than being at the cinema! A
live
performance of a movie...you were great!'

'Thanks,' he replied modestly, coming over to me and putting an arm around my shoulders as I handed him the script.

'Conn?'

'Hmm?'

I smiled at him inquisitively. 'Are you going anywhere for Christmas?'

* * *

Of course he wasn't going anywhere for Christmas, he had told me. And so, this year, the twenty-fifth of December found me in Connor's house, celebrating with the last person I had ever imagined spending Christmas Day with. If I had known a few months ago that this year I would
not
be reluctantly but dutifully at my mother's house for Christmas, but with Connor MacGowan himself in his own house, I would most probably have had a heart attack.

The few days before Christmas, we had been out together finding a tree and decorations, since Connor had never celebrated Christmas in this English house before. He had told me that most years he just went out with friends, and had not spent Christmas in England for a long time. It seemed that this Christmas would be a change for both of us...

The day dawned brightly, and I knew it would not be a day I would ever forget. We had placed the tree in the corner of the living room, and put our presents beneath it. Connor had indeed bought me something, and once again I worried about whether he would like what I had gotten him. Two days ago I had also added a CD into the package that contained his present - he had told me some time ago about his favourite band and it had been a stroke of luck that I had found it!

'Christmas already,' Connor said, shaking his head. 'God, this year's gone so fast.'

'And a lot's happened...' I added with a small smile. He grinned at me.

'Let's open the presents, shall we?'

He darted forwards and grabed the two presents up, handing me mine and excitedly examining his own.

'Aw, that's cute, that is,' he chuckled, noticing the little reindeers on the wrapping paper of his. I smiled breathlessly, then began to open mine. It was square-shaped and small - something that seemed dauntingly expensive. Connor eagerly pulled the wrapping paper of his present away. As soon as he saw the contents, he gave a big laugh.

'Oh,
yeah
!' he said with a huge grin, picking up the tartan article of clothing. 'I should have known, Lilly, I really should have known!' He gave a chuckle, then gave me a saucy half-grin. 'You really are full of surprises, aren't you?'

I couldn't stop myself laughing either, relieved inside that he seemed to like them. He opened the box with the stylish sunglasses in, and seemed to love them as well. And when he found the CD, he was bouncing up and down like a child.

'Ach, lass, you're an
angel
!' he told me happily, giving me a bone-crushing hug. 'Hey - you still haven't opened yours up yet. Go on!'

I bit my lip with a smile then pulled away the wrapping paper. A flat, navy-blue box was inside. I cautiously opened it up.

'Oh...oh, it's
lovely
!' I gasped, touching the delicate, fine little necklace inside. 'Wow...nobody's ever given me something like...oh, thanks
so
much, Connor!' I hugged him, radiant with happiness, giving him a big kiss on the cheek. I picked up the necklace. It was wonderful - subtle but at the same time very pretty with its little silvery pendant. I put it on immediately, giving Connor another hug.

'I'm glad you like it,' he replied, then a devilish grin broke over his face. 'Why don't you put this CD on while I pop upstairs for a second? I'll be right back!'

With that, he ran off, taking his present but leaving the CD on the sofa for me. I stared after him in surprise, then shrugged and went over to the sleek stereo system on the other side of the room. After a short while of puzzling over it, I managed to successfully turn it on and pop the CD inside.

The music began, and I found myself tapping my foot to the beat appreciatively. Connor had good taste - he especially seemed to like the slow, sexy rock. It was some very cool music indeed...

'What d'ya think?' came a mishievous voice from across the room behind me. I turned around, and my mouth fell open.

Connor was leaning against the doorframe with casual, languid grace, dressed in nothing but the boxers I had given him for a laugh and the dark sunglasses. I burst out laughing, and he lazily looked over the top of the shades at me.

'You like?' he asked teasingly.

'I
love
!' I replied admiringly. Those boxers certainly suited him well - along with the sunglasses. Not that I had ever thought he would wear them both at the same time...

He grinned at me with those lovely white teeth, strolling towards me. I couldn't keep my eyes off him, my cheeks beginning to pinken. He stopped in front of me and leaned down, still with his cheeky grin.

'Let's get this party started, eh?'

Chapter 11

Reality Calls

If we had thought that we were on top of our troubles, then we were very, very wrong.

It seemed that around the edges of my rosy relationship with Connor, the outside world had been biding its time over the past week or so and was preparing to break in, cameras all at the ready. Not that Connor hadn't been right when he had told me that I was hard to find - it was just that he had underestimated to what lengths some people would go in order to locate me.

* * *

One afternoon I was walking home from the shops - taking a quieter route this time, just to be safe - when I became aware of the fact that there was somebody standing outside the doors to my apartment building. Frowning, I cautiously came closer, wondering whether this person was someone who had been locked out. However, as I drew nearer, the man standing there did not seem as if he had been a victim of the automatically locking door. True, he did look weary, stern, impatient and maybe slightly desperate as well, but he had the odd air of somebody
waiting
for something. That and the professional-looking long-zoom camera he carried in its smart black bag hanging from one shoulder told me that he was certainly
not
a neighbour.

I almost turned around and ran the way I came - but how could I? He hadn't noticed me yet, and the shopping bags in my hands were cutting into my fingers. I couldn't carry them around all day, and who knew how long this guy would be outside the building for?

This was just a minor bump in the road, I told myself. Connor got this far worse, and he got it just about all the time. I needed to stop myself from being a complete coward...after all, this sort of situation was only to be expected if I was hanging around with movie stars...

Nevertheless, my heart was pounding and my limbs felt like jelly as I walked up the pavement. OK...the guy was looking the other way now, his jowly, ill-shaven face covered by a baseball cap turned to stare up the street. I quickened my pace. He wasn't all that close to the door...if I could get my back to him soon enough, he would probably not recognise me...

Heartbeat fluttering, I hurriedly skipped up the step and rushed to the glass doors, fumbling feverishly for the key. Once I had it, I needed to slow myself down a little to be able to fit it into the keyhole and act natural at the same time. Still holding my breath, very aware of the man's eyes on me, I turned the key...and opened the door. I felt the first tiny flickers of relief wash through me - I was just about safe now, and he hadn't said a single -

''Scuse me, ma'am?'

I froze, hand instantly immobilised still on the doorhandle, my eyes wide with horror.

Act normal, act normal!

I kept my face turned to the ground, not looking at the man.

'Yes?' I replied a little gruffly, trying to sound older.

'Are you a resident of this building?' he asked me, his American twang and the sight of his hand resting on his camera bag out of the corner of my eye scaring me stiff.

'Er...ye-es...' I answered hesitantly, feeling a cold sweat begin to break out over my skin as I wondered desperately what people did in situations like these. Should I just ignore his questions and leave? Or would that only arouse his suspicions?

'I have a few questions to ask a certain Miss Lillian Harwick who lives here,' he told me.

'Oh...really?' I answered vaguely, my hand slowly beginning to push on the door.

'Is that your name? Lillian Harwick?' he pressed me, taking a step closer.

'Er, no, sorry, mate,' I replied, finding my voice sounded less odd and nervous when using an apologetic but very bored tone. 'It's Mary, actually. I think one of my neighbours is called Lillian, though,' I added, to make it all sound a bit more natural.

I regretted this almost immediately, though, because the man perked up and became very excited all of a sudden.

'Oh, your neighbour? Could you tell me a bit about her?' he asked me eagerly.

'Sorry?'

'Could you give me a few details - her age, her interests...?' the paparrazzo enquired. 'Is she a nice person?'

'I'm sorry, but I don't really know her that well...' I improvised, feeling safe enough to look at him a bit more directly. Unfortunately, he still wouldn't let me go.

'Could you at least tell me what she
looks
like?' he begged me. 'Blonde? Brunette? Redhead?'

'Look, I -'

'What time does she leave the apartment?' He gave me a look. 'Or has she already left? When will she be back?'

I sighed angrily, beginning to get rather frustrated even though I was thankful that I was not currently being blinded by flash-bulbs.

'I have no idea, OK?' I said to him. 'I don't think I'd be doing her any favours if I gave stuff away about her.'

The man seemed to compose himself, and said in a coaxing, more rational tone: 'Look, lady, I'm only doing my job. I came all the way from the US on Friday, and I've been looking for this Lillian chick for three days straight. It took me a good deal of trouble to find where she lived, and I've been standing here waiting for hours. She's going out with that movie star, you know - the Heyday guy - and if I get a photo of her I'll hit the jackpot big time. They'll pay me twenty thousand dollars if I get a good picture of this girl! It's all supply and demand. And the guy who got the photo of the two of them in a park a while ago - he's filthy rich now because of it.' He looked at me beseechingly. 'You can understand why I need to find her, can't you?'

I set my jaw.

'I thought you already knew what she looks like, from that other guy's pictures?' I replied, voice full of mistrust.

'Well...they were shitty photos...I just remember she had long hair - which was quite dark...' He began to eye my own long, dark hair.

'She must have heard that you were on to her, because last time I saw her, she had cut it and got it dyed a few shades lighter,' I told him hurriedly. 'And that's all I'm going to tell you.'

With that, I ran through the door and closed it firmly behind me, legging it off up the stairs as fast as I possibly could.

* * *

As soon as I had wept away all of the terror and had finished shivering like a right coward upon my bed, I tiptoed across the flat and grabbed the phone, hurriedly wiping tears from my eyes. I was still shaken from my encounter, and how stubborn that man had been. Twenty
thousand
dollars? For a photo of
me
? I cast fearful glances at all the holiday pictures of me and my friends that I had framed and put on the sideboard. This was simply unreal...I had never known people would be so eager to hear about me...

But then again, I supposed I really should have known. If one night I had found out my favourite celebrity was going out with somebody, I would have certainly wanted to know what she looked like. Oh,
God
...

Fingers still shaking, I dialled a number, then curled myself up on the sofa, desperate to hear a familiar voice to reassure me. The phone on the other end of the line rang...and rang...and rang -

'
Hello?
'

Just about fainting from relief when it was answered, I said: 'Oh, Connor, I'm so glad to hear you!'

There was a pause.

'
What's wrong? Are you OK?
' he asked me, sounding concerned at the shaken tone of my voice.

'Yes. Well, no. Not really, actually -'

'
Tell me, Lilly
.'

I took a deep breath. 'There's a guy with a really big camera outside my apartment, and he has been standing there for hours,' I told him in a rush. 'I met him on the way into the building, but he didn't know it was me. He still asked me a lot of questions - oh, Connor, I got so scared! I don't know if he's still there or not! How the hell will I be able to leave my flat, now?'

'
Oh, God...OK, Lilly, just stay calm
,' Connor told me, hearing the hysteric rise in my tone. '
Whatever you do, you mustn't talk to him too much. The number one rule is to keep what's private private. You should just ignore him - but if he's stopping you from going about your business, then you'll need to get someone to sort him out...
'

I sniffed, trying to pull myself together. 'Come and save me?' I proposed quietly, silently wishing for him to take me away again.

But Connor only sighed. '
I'm sorry, pet - I dinnae think that would be a good move
,' he replied apologetically, smothering my hopes of comfort. '
If
I
turn up at the aparment...things could seriously go down the cludgie.
'

I bit my lip, feeling like an absolute idiot. 'Oh -of course,' I said, then gave a little mirthless laugh. 'God, I'm so stupid...sorry, I just forgot...'

'
That's alright
,' he reassured me, then there was an awkward pause. Finally, he added in a dreadfully serious tone: '
I think this might be just the start of our troubles...it's definitely nae gonna end here...
'

'I can bear it, Connor, honestly - it's just that I got a little fright there, that's all,' I hurriedly told him, wanting him to know that I could survive the challenges of our relationship and therefore would be able to stay with him without driving him mad with my whining.

Connor's voice sounded horribly heavy on the other end of the line. '
It's only natural
,' he replied gravely. '
God, I'm so sorry, Lilly, for dragging you into this. It kills me to know that those clatty bastards are starting on you now...Maybe things would've been better for you if we'd never had this kind of relationship -
'

'What're you talking about?' I yelped, my whole body suddenly cold, so shocked I was by what he had said. 'Connor, I'm fine, and I don't regret anything -'

'
Aye. Well, I'll have to talk to you again some other time - I've been getting quite a few calls today, I might be getting some more soon
,' he told me.

'Oh...right,' I replied awkwardly. 'Er...bye, then.'

'
Bye
.'

I pressed the "end call" button and put my head in my hands with a heavy sigh. We had been doing brilliantly - why was he starting to have doubts? I had probably just been overreacting with the whole paparrazzo guy thing...I shouldn't have worried him with it. Oh, God, what had I done?

* * *

'Hi. I need some moral support,' I mumbled heavily on the phone a few minutes later.

'
Really? Why?
' Julie asked. I had called her because her sheer sensibility and clear-headedness would certainly help me feel better.

'There's a guy with a camera standing outside the building waiting for me, and when I called Connor and told him about it he got all guilty and wondered whether I should be with him in the first place,' I replied.