Just a Little (5-8) (10 page)

CHAPTER FIVE

Friday, March 08

Kara and I ended up at Frank’s Bar & Grill for our pre-planned Friday dinner. According to my guesstimation, this was the first stage in the Friday-night-surprise-party-celebration. Kara was ordered to feed me, show me a good time, and keep me away long enough for Charlie to set up and allow guests enough time to arrive.

I was quite thankful to have some time alone with her. There were so many things I needed to talk about, things that only a girlfriend could shed some light on.

Over appetizers—I settled for the blooming onion, because it didn’t much matter how bad my breath smelled. I wasn’t gonna be kissing anyone anytime soon—I told Kara all about the phone call and text message from Derek. I refrained from spilling the details about Luke and Rebecca; that wasn’t my news to share. And I tried my best to convince her that the little spat I had with Matt was nothing to be concerned about. The last thing I needed was to worry her about choosing sides, but I was glad when she ignored my mention of Matt. She zoomed right in on the subject I wanted to focus on the most.

“Did you text him back?”

“Nope,” I said, “I didn’t know what to say. Part of me wanted to say
if you miss me, then come home
. But that would’ve been selfish.
I’m
one of the reasons he left. I reminded him too much of the life he needed to let go of. I couldn’t ask him to do something like that. I don’t wanna be one of those girls who expects everyone to give up their hopes and dreams just to make her happy.”

“Oh, man,” Kara took a drink of lemonade. She slouched a little further in the booth and fumbled with her straw. “You think he left because of you?”

“Well, yeah.”

“I thought you said
Luke
was the reason he left.”

“Yeah, but I don’t know the details,” I said. “For all I know, I never will. I never gave Luke the chance to explain himself, and Derek never mentioned it when we talked. I think maybe Derek still thinks I’m chasing Luke. Maybe he doesn’t want to get involved.”

“You didn’t tell Derek that you and Luke aren’t together?”

“No,” I pushed the appetizer aside, “when Derek left, Luke and I
weren’t
together. As far as he knows, we never
got
together. I never told him any different. It just didn’t come up.”

“Are you
going
to tell him?”

“When?” I asked. “I’ve spent months calling and texting him. I’ve left hundreds of voicemails. He’s never once responded. Wednesday was the first I’d heard from him since he left. He obviously doesn’t want to talk to me, and I have to respect that.”

“But when he calls again,” she said, “and he’s ready to talk, he should know the truth.”

“Obviously,” I said, “I’d never lie to him. But I don’t think he’ll call. I think he’s really gone this time. That brings me back to Matt,” I dropped my head. “I needed his support, so I told him everything. Well, everything except the part about Luke sneaking through my bedroom window on Wednesday morning.”

“Yeah, he would’ve flipped.”

“But he totally jumped down my throat
without
that information! I don’t understand what happened, Kara. He was the one who said he suspected something.
He
was the one pushing for me to find the truth, and
he
was helping me. Now I just don’t know. It’s like Luke’s convinced him that I’m a monster.”

“I know it’s easier said than done, but you need to let everything Matt says go in one ear and out the other,” she said. “He hasn’t been himself lately, you know that. Give him some space. He’s stressed, and he’s taking it out on everyone.”

“Yeah,” I knew very well that Kara was probably still worried about Matt’s erratic behavior. It’s not like I could come right out and tell her what I knew, but I’d done my best to ease her mind. Shortly after I’d learned what Matt was really up to, I’d told Kara that he was working two jobs to save up for college. It was the best excuse I could come up with without drifting too far from the truth. She understood, talked to him, and things seemed to be okay between them. But she still had her weak moments whether she wanted to admit it or not. I couldn’t blame her for that.

“So,” I said, desperately wanting to move the conversation as far away from my problems as possible, “do you think you and Matt will make it long-term?”

“I hope so,” she tried to hide a goofy smile behind her glass. “He’s so amazing. When he’s not under a ton of stress, that is.”

“Yeah,” I wholeheartedly agreed, “you got lucky with that one.”

“I know,” she said, “and what about you?”

“What about me?”

“Luke? Derek? Where do you see yourself five years from now?”

I dropped my head. “Luke’s history, and Derek’s not an option.”

“So?”

“So long-term, I see myself living with Charlie, Elvis, and about five hundred cats. I think I’m swearing off men for the rest of my life. They’re nothin’ but trouble.”

She smiled. “
Is
Luke history? Really?”

“I respect Luke,” I said, “and I understand now why he’s done what he’s done. I can’t explain it; it’s not my place to say anything, but I understand. I just hate the way he went about hiding things. His tactics were wrong. He didn’t have to hurt me in the process of protecting someone else.”

She nodded, but I knew she couldn’t understand. But I had no right to sit there and tell Kara about Rebecca, Molly, and Luke’s relationship. Luke didn’t trust me with the information, but that’s where he was wrong. There was nothing I wouldn’t do to protect him, to keep his secrets, no matter how little he thought of me. Though Luke had shut the door on our relationship—and I had allowed him to do so—I still wanted nothing but happiness for him. If keeping the secret made him happy, I wasn’t going to tell a soul.

“You wanna hit the road?” I checked my watch. “Surely they’ve got the party ready to go by now.”

“You wanna leave?” she seemed surprised. “I thought you’d want to blow as much time as possible.”

“Yeah,” I said, “as much as I’m dreading it, I can’t blow it off. Charlie’s worked so hard to make this happen. He really thinks I have no idea. I can’t let him down.”

Friday, March 08 | 7:50 p.m.

Kara pulled up to the house about fifteen minutes later. I slid out of the passenger’s seat and looked up at the house. The windows were dark, and there was no sign of life anywhere. I expected to see a few familiar cars parked along the street or in neighbors’ driveways, but nothing looked out of the ordinary.

“You go,” she dug in her purse. “I’ll catch up with you in a sec. I have to text Matt and let him know we’re here.”

“You sure?”

“Yeah, just go,” she said, “and try to act surprised, okay?”

“How’s this?” I dropped my jaw and threw my hands to my face.

“Too much. You’re forcing it.”

“Ah, I’ll wing it,” I shut the door. I walked up the porch steps and put the key in the lock. I unlocked the door, turned the knob, and pushed it open. As I expected, the whole house was dark. There wasn’t even the slightest bit of light coming from the main floor. “Hello?”

I waited for the chorus of ‘surprise’ yells and falling confetti, but the lights never came on, and no one jumped out to surprise me.

“Charlie?” I scrunched my brow. “Hello? Is anybody home?”

I figured he’d told everyone to stay hidden as long as possible, to really milk the surprise for all it was worth. Being the awesome niece that I was, I decided to play along.

“Oh gee,” I stepped into the dark living room, “I sure hope no one jumps out and—”

“Who are you talking to?” Charlie asked, and I turned around to meet his puzzled expression. He stood halfway up the stairs in a pair of flannel pajamas. With a half-eaten bag of popcorn in hand, he walked down the remaining stairs and turned the entryway lights on.

I stared at him for another minute and then looked around the room.

“Julie,” he waved his free hand in front of my face, “you okay? You look like you’ve seen a ghost.”

I turned and glanced around the living room. There was no one there, not a single person in the house except for me and Charlie.

“What’s going on?” I asked. “Where is everybody?”

“Who’s everybody?” he asked, drawing his brows together with concern. “Honey, it’s just us. I’ve been here all night, and Matt’s at work.” He sat the popcorn aside on the coffee table and cupped my arms in each of his hands. “Julie, are you feeling okay?”

“I don’t understand,” I said, my mouth feeling dry. “I thought… Matt said that you were… and then Kara.” I turned to look out the window only to find that Kara’s car was missing from the driveway. I glanced back to Charlie, who looked as though he was seriously concerned about my mental state. “Didn’t you have plans tonight?”

“Plans?”

“Yeah,” I said, “for my birthday.”

“Honey,” he shook his head, “we celebrated your birthday on Wednesday, remember?”

“I know, but Matt said that… and even Bruno!”

“What about Bruno?”

“Forget it,” I rubbed my eyes. “I think I just need to get some sleep—”

“Are you sure everything’s okay?”

“Fine,” I brushed by him. “I’ll see you in the morning, k?”

He nodded and watched as I moped up the stairs, still in complete disbelief.

Had I missed something?

Matt had blatantly said
Dad’s throwing you a surprise party
. Bruno had confirmed it when he stopped by to visit before going on his trip. If there wasn’t a party, then what was all that with Kara tonight?

Had everyone ganged up on me to pull the biggest prank of the year? And if so, how could they possibly think it was funny? It’s not like I was actually looking forward to partaking in the party, so where was all the humor in telling lies?

I didn’t know what had happened, or why it had happened. All I could assume was that Matt, Charlie, Bruno, and Kara had seriously gotten their wires crossed.

I made it to the top of the steps and walked into my dark bedroom. Shutting the door behind me, I took a deep breath and tossed my purse into the corner. It collided with something near the window, resulting in an unfortunate crash. I couldn’t be sure exactly what I’d broken or knocked over; honestly, it was impossible to see anything in the dark.

I stumbled across the room and managed to find my bedside lamp. I switched it on and turned back to my dresser without assessing whatever damage I’d caused with my purse. I’d take care of that in the morning.

I opened the top drawer and pulled Luke’s old pajamas from the stack of folded laundry. I held them in my hands for a few long seconds, contemplating on whether or not I wanted to keep them. Deciding it was best to throw them out, along with every other memory of our time together, I tossed them aside and opted for a pair of shorts and a tank top. I started to unbutton my jeans when something behind me—the sound of a man clearing his throat—stopped me dead in my tracks.

I closed my eyes and took a deep breath, fully prepared to turn around and confront Luke head-on. I imagined that he’d showed up to yell at me for talking to Rebecca. I’m sure he wanted to know what she’d told me, how much I knew, and if I’d told anyone since finding out.

When I turned around to face the man in my room, my heart suddenly sank to the floor.

It was easy to tell how I’d missed him in the dark, but how had I missed him after turning the light on? Standing only two feet behind me, Derek bit his lower lip and managed a dorky grin.

“Hey,” he took a step closer. He opened his arms to offer a hug, and I immediately fell into his embrace.

“You’re here.”

“Yeah,” he pressed a gentle kiss to the top of my head. He held me close, almost as if he wanted to hold on to me forever. I pressed my ear against his shirt, listening to the patter of his heartbeat. His arms tightened around me as he rested his head on top of mine. “Are you surprised?”

I finally managed to look up at him and rested my chin on his chest. He smiled down at me, his familiar blue eyes shining behind his glasses.

“Totally,” I tried not to blink. I didn’t want to close my eyes, not even for a second, and suddenly realize that he wasn’t there, that I was only seeing things. “I had no idea you were coming, honestly. This is the best surprise of my life.”

CHAPTER SIX

Friday, March 08

Derek’s soft features pulled together with a simple smile.

“I thought you had a one-way ticket to the rest of your life?”

“I did,” he said. “And then, well, as luck would have it, I ran into someone at the airport who had a whole new idea for my future.”

“Who?”

“I’m supposed to give you this,” he reached into his back pocket. He passed me an envelope and watched as I tore the seal.

“Who’s it from?”

“Just read it.”

I pulled a small piece of white stationery from the inside and unfolded it.

Julie,

By now you’ve probably figured out that your surprise wasn’t so much a party as it was a reunion; I hope you don’t mind.

Charlie, Matt, Kara, and I have been killing ourselves for weeks trying to figure out exactly what to get you once the big day came around. We agreed that it should be something special, something you would remember forever. More than anything, though, we wanted it to be the biggest surprise of your life.

We each played a deceptive role in throwing you off the trail; for that, you have our apologies. We simply wanted to make you believe anything but the truth. We hoped and prayed with all our might that when this moment came, you’d have no idea what was about to hit you.

The whole plan was in motion, all I could do was hope that by the time I reached Derek, he’d hear me out long enough to come aboard and carry through with the ultimate surprise.

Please forgive us if we overstepped our boundaries, but I—speaking only for myself, though I doubt the rest would disagree— truly believe it’s time that you get what you deserve.

Happy birthday, sweetheart.

All my love,

Bruno

I read the note again and looked back at Derek.

“Bruno?”

“Yeah,” he lifted my chin and stared intently into my eyes, “he didn’t give me a lot of details, but he said you were going through a pretty rough time.”

“You didn’t have to come,” I said. “It was horrible for them to assume that you’d just go through with their plan.”

“I just talked to you on Wednesday, Julie,” he said, still watching me. “You didn’t mention anything was wrong. What’s going on?”

“Nothing…”

“Julie,” he took my hand; I still gripped Bruno’s note in the other. “You may be able to get away with that with everyone else, but I know better. I know
you
better.”

“I’m okay, Derek.”

“No,” his hand fell softly on my back, “I know you’re not.” Just the softness in his tone made my heart flutter a few beats off rhythm. He truly cared about my wellbeing. He cared enough to fly from wherever he came from just to make sure I was okay. “Talk to me.”

“Honestly,” I finally said, biting my lip, “it’s nothing out of the ordinary.”

“Luke, then?” I expected his mention of Luke’s name to be laced with anger and resentment, but there wasn’t a shred of animosity in his tone. Whatever he felt toward Luke, and whatever had happened between them before he left Oakland, he was keeping it well masked. He wasn’t going to let his feelings interfere with his understanding of my problem. “Bruno said you were disoriented,” he said. “He said you were slipping away.”

“I broke up with Luke,” I suddenly remembered that Derek hadn’t even known that Luke and I were ever a couple. “We started dating at Christmas—”

“I figured,” he swallowed hard. The muscles in his arms tightened for a moment, but quickly relaxed. “When I talked to you, you asked me why I hadn’t come by when I came through Oakland to see Hannah. I did; you weren’t here. I chalked it up to fate and stopped off to grab a bite to eat at Frank’s before leaving town. As soon as I walked through the door, there you were—well, you and Luke. You were both at the bar, beaming ear to ear. I’d never seen you so happy.”

“You were at Frank’s?” I asked, and I knew exactly what night he was talking about. It was the night that Matt had abandoned me and Charlie right before dinner. As a last minute resort to settle our hunger, we drove out to Frank’s Bar & Grill. It was only after Charlie had abandoned me at the bar that Luke had shown up, witty and charming as ever. Of course I looked happy… back then, I thought I was.

“I didn’t want to come over,” he said. “I didn’t want to risk starting an argument, so I left.”

“You should’ve said something.”

“I regretted walking away,” he said. “I thought I could walk away, find myself, and leave it all behind. I didn’t realize until I was already gone, but there was a part of my past that I needed to come back for. Leaving you behind was the biggest mistake of my life. I should’ve never left you, Julie. Now that I’m back, I’ll never leave you again.”

Saturday, March 09| 5:00 a.m.

Derek had been up for almost 24-straight hours by the time he reached the house the night before. His surprise visit hadn’t lasted long, but he promised that he was staying in town and that he’d be back first thing in the afternoon to pick up where we left off.

I’d tossed and turned all night; my mind reeled at how quickly things had changed. Since I wasn’t getting any rest (and since staying in bed wasn’t doing me a bit of good), I got up shortly after 5:00 a.m..

Hoping a quick walk around the block would help clear my mind, I got dressed and headed out. I zipped my jacket up close under my chin and crammed my hands into my pockets.

I wasn’t surprised that the town was so quiet this early in the morning; anyone in their right mind would still be at home, sleeping soundly in their bed. It wasn’t until I reached the Historic District that I even saw another person out and about.

Call it a curse, or maybe even fate, but as I rounded the corner to leave the District twenty minutes later, my body slammed directly into the person coming from the opposite direction.

“Kid, we’ve gotta stop meeting like this,” Luke offered me a hand off the ground. This time, instead of rejecting him like I’d previously done, I took his hand and pulled myself up. I wiped the dirt off my pants before looking up to meet his gaze. “You okay?”

“I’ll survive.”

I started to walk past him when he turned back.

“Julie,” he stopped me in my tracks, “I’m sorry.

“I’ve been hearing that from you a lot lately.”

“You’re not toxic, Julie. I didn’t mean—”

“I know,” I turned back to him. “We all say stupid things when we’re hurt.”

“Hurt?” he asked, almost laughing at the same time. “You had Bruno run a DNA sample, for God’s sake. I wasn’t just hurt, Julie; I was pissed.”

“In all fairness, I didn’t know about the DNA test until he came by with the results,” I said. “That was all him. And I’m not trying to throw him under the bus, that’s just how it was. He was just as suspicious about the time you were spending with Rebecca as I was.”

He took my hand. “What can I do to make this go away? What can I say, Julie?”

“I don’t know,” I said. “Sometimes I swear we’re meant to be… sometimes I’m not so sure.”

“And which time is this?”

“I’m not so sure.”

He nodded, “Fair enough.”

“I chased you for so long, Luke. I waited. Granted, I didn’t wait patiently. But I waited. And I thought, after everything we’ve been through, that I would’ve earned your trust. I’ve never done anything to make you believe that I couldn’t be trusted.”

“I know.”

“You told Matt.”

“But only after shit hit the fan.” He turned to face me straight on, taking both of my hands. “I love you, Julie. That’s been a fact since the beginning, and I haven’t changed my mind. My actions were stupid, rash, and I should’ve trusted you; I know that. I pushed you in the background and let other things cloud my judgment.”

The slightest grin pulled on his lips as he watched me.

“I can let go of the whole Derek thing,” he swallowed hard, “if you can. Can you put him in the past?”

My mind went back to the day that Luke and I had shared at the District Café only two weeks ago—the day he’d asked to see me, the day he’d promised to tell me everything that I didn’t know. I thought I was going to learn the truth about his relationship with Rebecca. I didn’t even know Molly existed. Somehow that trip to the café turned into a discussion about something else, something very different.

He’d started with his confession about how he’d helped Matt with something, but his confession was vague and unrevealing. That somehow transpired into a conversation about Derek and how he’d somehow
taken care of him
.

“You’re not the only one who’s acted rashly,” I squeezed his hands, but ignored his questions. “You tried to tell me something at the café, something
about
Derek, but I left without hearing your explanation.”

“You want to know what happened?”

“Yes,” I said, “from the last time I saw him, leading up to the day that I walked into his empty house and found his note on his bedroom floor, what transpired? Obviously you know, so fill in the gaps, please.”

Luke dropped my hands and stood straighter. He paced back and forth on the sidewalk in front of me. After a few minutes of silence, he finally turned back. He rubbed his chin, almost looking as though he wanted to conjure up a lie. I saw his internal struggle stretching across his face. He knew he had no choice but to tell the truth.

“I came by one night to speak to Charlie,” he said. “It was just before the town parade, a few weeks after I’d first come and talked to him about being with you. I wanted him to reconsider; I wanted him to give us a chance. When I showed up, he wasn’t there. Derek, though, was. He’d come to tell you that he wanted to leave town. He wanted your opinion.

“I told him that you were in no place to make decisions for anyone but yourself. He needed someone to talk to, someone to hear him out, so I sat with him. I listened to him talk about his father, mother, Hannah. The longer he talked, the more frustrated he became. I could feel the anger burning in his blood; there was so much pent-up rage that he hadn’t found an outlet for. He was hurt, and rightfully so; but I’d seen it far too many times, Julie. Men with that kind of pain, men that hold on to it for too long… one day they wake up, and they snap.”

“That’s not who Derek is.”

“That’s
exactly
who Derek is,” he said. “I don’t know what drew you to him. Honest to God, I don’t. I don’t get it.”

“He was my friend.”

“The man’s family has destroyed everything you ever knew and loved, Julie, but you were attracted to his friendship like a moth to flame. He kept drawing you in, manipulating you. You were so convinced he wasn’t capable of hurting a fly.”

“There’s not an ounce of evil in that man’s body,” I said. “You don’t know Derek the way I do.”

“He already had it in his head to leave, Julie,” he said. “He’s the one who brought it up. I didn’t plant that seed; I just gave him a little nudge in the right direction.”

“A little nudge?”

Luke dropped his head, “I couldn’t stand by and wait for him to snap. The Milton family has no business around you.”

“I’m sorry?”

“If he’d stayed, he would’ve only ended up hurting you the same way his father hurt your parents.”

“Derek is—”

“A danger to society,” he said. “And one day, he’ll finally break. One day, he’ll hurt someone. He’ll end up behind bars. But when that day comes, it won’t be
you
that he’s hurt. And I made damn sure of it.”

“
What did you do
?”

“I told him he needed to go,” he said, “to find himself and discover who he truly was.”

“I don’t believe that. He wouldn’t have listened to you.”

“I told him to get the hell out of Oakland and never come back, okay? I told him I’d kill him if he ever stepped foot near you again,” he said. “And I meant it. Let’s face it, Julie. Look who you’re talking to. After what Hannah did, Derek doesn’t stand a chance in this town; if he turned up dead at my hand, I’d walk away scot-free. Let’s not pretend that’s not true.”

“Ugh!”

“He comes from a line of killers, Julie. I’m the freakin’ hero of this damn town. Who’s a jury’s gonna believe?”

He said it like it didn’t faze him, as if it didn’t bother him in the least that he’d just said something so heartless, so cold. He’d murder a completely innocent man over nothing? And he wouldn’t lose sleep over it?

This wasn’t the Luke Reibeck I’d grown to love.

“He knew my conditions,” he said. “No sticking around to say goodbye. No phone calls. No text messages. No visits. No—returning—to—Oakland. Period.”

“
You’re a monster
,” I said. “How can you say those things?”

“I love you, Julie,” he said. “And because I love you, I had to ensure you’re safety. Derek was a threat, so I took care of it.”

“I’m capable of taking care of myself, thanks.”

Luke looked at me with disgust. He knew it, and so did I. Any chance he might’ve had at rekindling our relationship had just gone down the drain after his simple revelation.