Just A Small Town Girl (23 page)

“No,” Sam tilted his head to the side, “He’s not that bad of a guy Piper. He said you can have him for the day, even though the guy only gets this one weekend with his son before he has to go back on the road, and he won’t invite himself along, but if you want him to come he will.”

I bit my lip. Sam knew he was guilting me into inviting Fisher and I didn’t appreciate that, but I wasn’t willing to give up a day with Riley to save my conscience.

“Fine, you can go get him,” I sighed, angry at myself for being unable to ignore Fisher’s feelings.

“Are you sure you don’t want to throw on a little makeup or something? You really do look like hell,” Sam took in my threatening glare before retreating into the hall.

A few seconds later Fisher walked in wearing a black t-shirt and a pair of black jeans with a gash over one of the knees. He looked good, dark and smoldering. My eyes ran over his hair, remembering what it felt like between my fingers, and dropped to his chest. I knew it was an expanse of solid muscle below the black fabric and I licked my lips, tempted to run my tongue along the grooves of his body even though he’d left me so emotionally barren the night before.

“Dada” Riley cried, reaching out for his father and distracting me from actively mind fucking the father of my unborn child.

“Hey monster,” Fisher smiled, stepping close enough to muss Riley’s hair, “Hey Piper,” he smiled a half-grin at me, looking almost shy.

“Hi,” I handed him Riley because the little boy was still reaching for his father and turned to sink into the couch.

Fisher surprised me by sitting next to me and placing his hand on my belly. Riley reached over and did the same, wanting to be just like his father. I couldn’t help wishing I had a camera.

“How are you doing today?” he asked, his eyes fixed on the spot where his hand gently rubbed over my dress.

“I’m good,” I didn’t ask if he was wondering why I looked like I’d spent the night on a park bench.

“How’s my little girl?” he smiled sheepishly before bending down to press a kiss to my stomach, right over the wet spot left over from Riley’s kiss earlier.

I didn’t know how I felt about him touching my stomach uninvited. Technically, the baby inside was his as well and it was kind of nice to have someone care about her as much as I did. Still, I couldn’t help the shivers his touch sent through my body or the little gasp I let out as the heat of his breath kissed my stomach through the fabric of my dress.

“What are we doing today?” I asked, standing so I could get a little space.

“I was thinking we could go to the park, but you look a little tired, so if you want to stay here-”

“The park is fine,” I waved my hand in the air like I was trying to fan his concerns away, “I’ll pack some snacks and grab my jacket,” I headed toward my kitchen and was delighted to feel Riley pulling on my skirt as he followed.

Twenty minutes later, I held a canvas bag filled with sandwiches, applesauce, granola bars, carrots, cookies, and pickles. I sighed happily at my Sam free pregnant lady lunch while I waited for Fisher to emerge from his apartment. When he did I noticed he was wearing a baseball cap and had a large backpack thrown over his shoulder. He scooped Riley up from where he stood next to me and pulled my bag into his own hand without a word.

“You shouldn’t be lifting stuff,” he shrugged when I gave him a look.

“I could have managed,” I grumbled, following him down the stairs and out into the sun.

“But you don’t have to,” he stopped abruptly and looked me in the eye, trying to convey a deeper meaning I chose to shrug off.

His warm hand wrapped around mine and I instantly pulled away. I wasn’t willing to pretend we were a couple, so we walked to the park in silence and I enjoyed the feeling of sunshine kissing my face. I hadn’t had a day to just be outside since I first came to Dunesville and I was having a hard time understanding why I had never made that a priority.

“Is here okay?” Fisher asked, putting Riley down to stand next to a large tree.

“Sure,” I shrugged, trying not to notice the way his shirt rode up in the back while he laid out our blanket.

When I realized I simply lacked the self-control to stop myself from staring I started a game of tag with Riley. He ran around the grass, only falling every once in a while and screamed “No!” every time I started to get close enough to catch him. He started to wear me out, so I walked back to the blanket where Fisher was staring at me with a strange look in his eyes and collapsed next to him. We sat in silence, I watched Riley rip up blades of grass and throw them in the air while Fisher watched me watch Riley.

After several minutes Fisher reached over to me, trying to pull my body into his. When I resisted he moved himself, placing a leg on either side of my body and pulling my back flush against his chest. I considered refusing, but he smelled delicious and I loved the feel of his hands resting over our child, so I blew out a breath and relaxed, promising myself I would fight him off next time.

“It could be like this,” Fisher mumbled into my hair after several minutes, “we could be a family.”

“Until I wanted to hang out with Sam or I seemed to have a few more secrets than you anticipated,” I sighed heavily, “You get jealous and then you’re mean and I can’t knowingly subject myself to that.”

“I don’t even know why I said those things Piper,” his arms tightened around my body like he was afraid I might float away, “I’ve never cared so much about a girl I was dating and I’ve never felt as betrayed as I did when I thought you were with Sam, but it won’t happen again. I trust you. I was stupid not to trust you before and now all I can do is try,” he raised a hand to my chin and turned my face toward him, “but I need you to try with me.”

“I can’t” I whispered, turning my face back to watch Riley, trying to ignore the defeated sigh Fisher puffed out.

We spent the rest of the day playing tag with Riley, eating lunch, and napping on the blanket when Riley finally wore himself out.

When I opened my eyes Fisher’s dark gaze met mine.

“I’m going to make this right Piper,” he whispered.

I turned my head the other way and closed my eyes, returning to my own thoughts and problems because I couldn’t handle bearing both his and mine.

24 Weeks

Fisher left early in the morning the day after we spent our afternoon at the park and I hadn’t seen him since. I shouldn’t have been surprised, I knew he was going back on tour, but I was. He sent me text messages begging for pictures of my belly every week and I obliged him because I couldn’t help getting swept up in his enthusiasm. It was nice to have a partner, but my stomach clenched every time I thought of our nonexistent relationship or his lack of physical presence.

“You can’t have it all I guess,” I whispered, running my hand across the button-down shirt I’d worn to work that morning.

I’d finally given up on fitting into my old clothes and invested in a pair of pants with an elastic waistband, a few maternity dresses, leggings, and some button down dress shirts long enough to wear around the office over a pair of leggings. Bailey had enjoyed the shopping spree and purchased several tiny dresses for my daughter while I hemmed and hawed over the practicality of purchasing clothes I would only fit into for another few months.

“Are you ready to know the sex of your baby?” Dr. Schultz said, interrupting my ruminating on my finances.

“I already know she’s a girl,” I rolled my eyes, using my palms placed on the desktop to push myself into a standing position.

We were halfway down the hallway leading to the exam room when the bell over the door signaled the entrance of a patient. I let out a sassy sigh because I was pregnant and that gave me permission to be sassy when patients arrived early for their appointments and kept me from seeing my baby. I was half turned to greet the intruder, my face set in a look of sass that rivaled my sigh when a voice made me stop mid-turn.

“I’m here,” Fisher panted, his chest heaving “I’m here and I want to see him.”

My heart melted as I turned to face him completely, “She’s a girl,” I said through tears.

I wasn’t sure why I was crying, but I knew tears were another thing I was allowed to indulge in given my pregnancy. I hiccupped and the tears came harder as I realized how alone I was in my pregnancy without Fisher by my side. I’d gone to every ultrasound alone, felt her first kick alone, prepared the nursery alone, and suddenly he was there, wrapping his arms around me to stop the tears; offering himself as a source of strength.

“How did you know?” I buried my face in his shirt while sobs shook my body.

“Sam let me know you had an appointment,” he stroked the back of my head, keeping me close to his chest where I was sure my mascara was staining his white t-shirt, “I caught a flight this morning and I have to leave tonight, but I wanted to be here for this.”

“Thank you,” my voice was muffled by his chest.

“I wanted to be here,” he shrugged.

“Let’s go see the baby,” Dr. Schultz made his presence known and led us the final few steps to the exam room.

I leaned back on the white paper table, used to the routine, and watched as Dr. Schultz rolled the machine into the room. I lifted my shirt and Fisher let his hand wander across the taunt skin of my stomach. I cringed as he ran a finger across my new stretch marks and he noticed my reaction.

“This is beautiful,” Fisher spoke with conviction, pressing a kiss to my stomach before his fingers wrapped around mine and he stood aside, watching as Dr. Schultz smeared clear jelly on my stomach.

“Okay, and here she is,” Dr. Schultz rolled the wand around my stomach and the room was filled with the sound of our baby’s heartbeat.

The murky image showed her little legs, spread again to show us she was, in fact, a girl.

“We’re really going to have to talk to her about closing her legs like a lady,” I joked to Fisher who was oddly quiet.

He let out a moist chuckle and I whipped my head around to look at him. His eyes were wet as he watched the image shift to show her profile, her tiny thumb pressed into her mouth. I couldn’t help the warm feeling that spread through my chest as I watched him see his child for the first time. Suddenly I was the one holding his hand to offer strength as emotions flitted across his face. Fear, excitement, sadness, and joy passed through his features, but the emotion that stuck out the most as he swept his free arm across his face to remove the moisture was love.

He loved her already and I could tell. I smiled to myself and turned back to face the screen, letting the impossible perfection of the moment flow through me, making me completely happy for the first time in a while.

“Do you want a picture?” Dr. Schultz asked, smiling at our clasped hands.

“Could we have two copies?” Fisher’s hand squeezed mine as he asked.

“Sure,” Dr. Schultz wiped down my stomach while the images printed and helped me to sit up before he handed each of us a copy of the black and white prints featuring our baby girl.

“She’s perfect,” Fisher dropped my hand to run his calloused fingers across her face.

“She really is,” I hopped from the table and gave Dr. Schultz a grateful hug before walking back down the hall to place the photo in my purse.

“Do you have plans this afternoon?” Fisher asked, surprising me.

“I do this thing every Monday through Friday called work,” I smiled, letting him know my attitude was meant in good humor.

“Really?” he raised an eyebrow, “I’ve never heard of it. I hoped we could spend the afternoon together,” he leaned his forearms across my desk and the sexy look in his eye almost convinced me to play hooky.

“That sounds like an excellent idea,” Dr. Schultz walked into the reception area carrying his briefcase and wearing an outdoorsy hat, “I was hoping to go see Rose this afternoon anyway. I have a feeling she might like going to the park.”

Both men fixed their expectant eyes on me.

“Fine,” I stomped my foot and hoisted my purse onto my shoulder, not enjoying the two working together to manipulate me.

Half an hour later I sat on the beach with Fisher. It was a beautiful day, but in Dunesville’s usual way there weren’t many people there. A few teenage boys body boarded in the surf while their girlfriends watched, gossiping on towels draped across the rocky sand.

“I can’t believe that was me a few years ago,” Fisher tipped his head at the teenagers as the boys ran toward the girls, one tackled his girlfriend into a kiss, “Skipping school to hang out by the dunes was one of my favorite things.”

“Something tells me your mom wasn’t too happy about that,” I pressed out a wrinkle in the blanket Fisher had spread for us to sit on.

“She didn’t know,” he nudged me with his knee, a brilliant smile on his lips.

“How does she feel about this?” I rubbed my stomach.

“That,” he blew out a breath and ran his hand over the back of his hair, “I was hoping we could tell her about that together.”

“No fair,” I laughed a little, nudging him with my own knee, “I told
my
mom by myself.”

I hadn’t really, she’d heard from Sam’s mother and called me screaming, announcing I was never to come back to her home and no longer a daughter of hers, but I didn’t think Fisher needed to know that just then.

“Still, when I come home next month will you tell her with me?” his voice was full of hope.

“Sure,” I couldn’t help being excited to feel we were a team.

“Great. We can tell her it’s a girl and that her name is?”

“Is that your way of asking me if I want to talk about names?” I turned my body toward him and he turned to face me too, so we were focused on each other instead of the ocean.

“Not Patricia or Christine,” Fisher laughed out, intertwining his fingers with mine.

“Or Persephone,” I leaned in close to whisper, eliciting a laugh from him.

“Agreed,” he bit his lip in thought and I wanted to lean forward to run my tongue along the abraded flesh, “Something sweet and timeless. Stacy?”

“I would be Stacy’s mom,” we both laughed at the popular song.

“We could name her Piper,” he scooted closer to me, sweeping my hair back with his free hand and letting his fingertips linger along my cheek, “The world could use another you.”

I laughed at his suggestion, blushing a little, “What about Lia?”

“Lia?” a slow smile crept across his face.

“Lia is kind of like Lee, my middle name, and Liam-”

“My middle name,” he finished, a bright smile taking over his face, “It’s perfect.”

“What about her middle name?”

“Lia Mae?” he whispered the name with nothing less than reverence.

“Lia Mae get back here,” I shouted out to the waves, trying out my mom voice and startling the teenagers relaxing nearby, “Riley Paxton Fisher, Lia Mae Fisher, what are you getting into?” I giggled, turning back to Fisher smiling goofily in my direction.

“Lia Mae Fisher,” I whispered, a slow smile spread across my lips at the perfection of her name.

Fisher’s free hand wound into my hair while the other used our intertwined fingers to pull me closer, pressing his lips to mine when I was within reach. His kiss was sweet and passionate, but I placed my hand on his chest and pushed him away.

“Sorry,” he grunted, turning to face the water again and shoving his fingers through his hair.

“It’s okay, I understand. It’s been an emotional day and I’m sure you miss home when you’re gone. It’s natural to look for comfort in others,” I tried to keep my assessment of the situation as clinical as possible; it was too easy to forget I didn’t want to be in a relationship with Fisher if I didn’t.

“Is that what you think Piper?” he turned his head to look at me and I was caught by the intensity of his eyes, “I kissed you because I was overwhelmed? Because you’re having our baby and she is going to have my last name? On some level that’s true I’m sure, but the main reason I kissed you is because you’re the most beautiful, inspiring thing on this planet and it doesn’t seem right for this magical little person we’ve created to have my last name, but for you not to,” he heaved out a sigh and turned to look at the ocean, “I apologized because I know you don’t want anything more from me right now, but I’m sick of it. I’m never going to apologize for kissing you again. I love you too much and being with you is too perfect. There’s no room for apology in something as perfect as we have, as we could have if you would let me love you again.”

I’d been waiting for him to stop apologizing every time he kissed me since the first time we almost-kissed in my living room and his declaration washed over me. I wanted to be with Fisher, I wanted to be with the man sitting next to me on the rocky beach, but the man who was so cruel the day I found out I was pregnant with his child had no place in my life.

We drove back to our apartment building in silence; each of us alone with our thoughts. We were in the hallway, standing between our front doors, when Fisher turned to me again.

“I’ll be gone for another few weeks,” he sounded reluctant.

“I know,” I nodded.

“Well in the meantime,” he dug his hand into his pocket and I watched in horror as he pulled out his wallet.

“I’m not Seph,” I placed my hand on his, stopping him from digging through the bills.

“I know you’re not, but let me take care of you,” he began rooting through the cash again.

“I don’t want your money Fisher,” my voice was rising and I closed my eyes, trying to regain control, “I can take care of myself and Lia. I don’t need your money.”

“I can’t be here,” he dropped his gaze to the floor and stuffed his wallet back into his pocket, “What can I do if I can’t be here and you won’t accept my money?”

“Just care Fisher,” I placed my hand on top of the stubble scattering across his cheek, “Just care and be here when you can. You have eighteen or so odd years to spoil her and be needed. Be here for that and love her. Treat her like she’s the precious gift I know she is and teach her big brother to respect her. Just be the father I know you can be.”

I rose on tiptoe to press a soft kiss to his cheek and he turned his face, catching my lips with his own and using his arms to cage my body against his. His tongue demanded entrance and I opened my lips to him on a sigh, enjoying the feel of his tongue caressing mine. I was nipping at his bottom lip when he froze.

“What’s that?” he asked, surprise etched across his brow.

It took me a moment to realize what he was asking. I took his hand in mine and placed his palm on my stomach, moving it around until he could feel the gentle kick of our baby girl.

“She’s going to be a little tomboy,” Fisher laughed out, closing his eyes as he placed a second palm on my abdomen.

“She’s going to be perfect,” I smiled up at him and he pressed a sweet kiss to my lips.

“Do me a favor Piper?” he pulled his hands back and leaned against his front door as Lia settled down, “Think about us for the next few weeks? While I’m gone just ask yourself if we could be together, if we could be a family.” He leaned forward and kissed me again before turning back to his door and going inside to spend his last hours in town with his son.