Just Beginning (29 page)

Jenny plunked down on a large boulder near the dock. Their speedboat hung over the water looking lonely and empty. Over the summer, the kids had used it constantly, but with them back at school and winter approaching, it didn’t get much use. Perhaps that was the difference. She’d gotten used to Alex and Ted coming and going and she missed them.

Could this be loneliness?

Being an integral part of the Donnatelli clinic, Gabe worked all kinds of weird hours, coordinating the resident rotation at the clinic. Some nights she ate alone three nights in a row. And Jenny hardly saw Steve at all anymore. Now that he’d proved himself at work, interesting cases kept him occupied.

Gabe’s birthday was later this week, and they’d be together then. She’d planned a special dinner with all his favorite foods and a night of games if he wanted. Jenny sighed, it stank that Alex and Ted wouldn’t be here for their dad’s birthday, but at least Steve promised to come. Even better, Annie couldn’t; she had a previous engagement.

Jenny knew Gabe was going to love the Fit Bit she’d gotten him—actually, she’d gotten four of them, one for herself, Alex, Ted, and Gabe. It synced up with their computers, so once they “friended” each other, they could share their daily stats and see how many steps they took each day. It was a perfect family activity these competitive Harrisons could enjoy doing together even while they were apart. Alex had loved the idea, hopefully Gabe will too.

Jenny stroked Ritz’s soft long coat and sighed. “Guess it’s you and me today, girl. And this mood.”

When Jenny was out and about, she did observe one interesting phenomenon—pregnant women were everywhere. You’d think it had been a long hard winter when people had had nothing better to do than make babies. That, and little children. They were everywhere. But curiously enough, not next door so much.

Jenny glanced at Steve’s quiet house. It’d been weeks since she’d seen Josh and Sophie next door. Shortly before they’d watched little Adam—the cutie.

Seemed silly now to think that watching the baby for a few brief hours had made her so nervous; she’d done fine. More than fine, she’d actually enjoyed it. Adam had only been with them one afternoon, but he’d felt good in her arms, a custom-made fit.

His little weight molded to her, and he’d smelled so dang sweet. Jenny pictured Gabe and baby as clearly as if it’d been yesterday. He’d been good with Adam, handling him so naturally. Wonder what he’d been like with Alex and Ted.

She smiled at the thought of Gabe cradling their child, and later, rolling around on the grass, wrestling with him the way Steve did with Annie’s kids. Her hand froze halfway down Ritz’s back.

Oh my God. I want a baby
.

Her mouth dropped open. A baby? Really?

We should have a baby
.

The thought didn’t create a nervous lump in the pit of her stomach as it would have a year ago; it was okay. Better than okay, exciting. Her lips curved into a soft smile as Jenny pulled her knees to her chest and wrapped her arms around them. A baby. Really? The thought flitting around her brain, settled in her heart. Why not?

What would Gabe say? She’d told him she never wanted children, and he’d agreed. Hadn’t he? Though they’d really never talked about it, she’d always said she didn’t want children, and Gabe never contradicted her. Traitorous warmth squeezed her heart. He had Ted and Alex; he didn’t want more. But she did.

Maybe she was hormonal and this longing would go away. Or maybe she was lonely. Yes, that could be it. Maybe the ache weakening her empty arms could be filled with lots of hugs for Michael. If she spent more time with her brother, this longing would disappear. It had to go away. She couldn’t betray Gabe that way. He’d be blindsided.

She pictured him coming home from work one day. She’d give him a big kiss, saying, “Hi, honey, I’m so glad you’re home. You know... I’ve been thinking... I’ve changed my mind. I’d like to have a baby after all. Can we have one? Please?”

He’d look at her with stunned, confused eyes, then glance toward the kitchen, asking, “What about dinner?” Poor love. She couldn’t do that to him. Gabe deserved better. This baby fever would go away. Maybe it
was
just weird PMS.

Which would be cured by pregnancy
, a little voice inside her whispered.

* * *

Gabe settled back in the chair and spread the Sunday news before him. This was his first full day off in ten days, and it felt good to get up, go for his ride, shower and then crawl back into bed and make love to his wife instead of rushing off to work. Now
that
was the way to start a day.

Jenny buzzed around the kitchen, pulling food out of the fridge, preheating the oven, and emptying the dishwasher all to the soft background music of Frank Sinatra. Gabe spread the Sunday news out before him and sipped his coffee.

Handing him a tall glass of orange juice and champagne, Jen pushed his paper aside and sat in his lap.

“Mimosas. What’re we celebrating?”

“Spending one whole entire day together.” She tapped her flute against his and took a sip.

He would drink to that. The tangy, orange juice was sweet yet refreshing.

“You’ve been working so hard, I’m beginning to feel neglected—or suspicious.” She raised an eyebrow. “Are you having an affair?”

Gabe set his glass on the table and pulled back to bring her face into focus. “And where would I find the energy for that?”

“Just making sure. I’d almost rather it be another woman; hard to compete with the adrenaline rush of saving lives.”

Jenny seemed to be joking, but... He slipped a hand beneath her blouse to caress the soft skin above her jeans. Hair loose, barefoot and in jeans and makeup-free, the woman he fell in love with was back, yet something was off. She wasn’t her usual carefree self.

He brushed the hair back from her temple and tucked it behind one ear. “You have no competition and saving lives isn’t half the rush of making love with you.”

Jenny flashed a smile. “Pretty words. But it’d be more convincing if you spent more time with me and less time at the other.” She scowled and pushed off his lap. “Don’t mind me, I’m being a clingy, whiny baby.”

Gabe cocked his head. Jenny, clingy and whiny? Since when?

He watched her chop onions and mushrooms for their omelet. Uncle George’s comment about doing whatever it took to keep this wife ran through his head. He hadn’t pulled out his A game in a while—or his B game. In fact, he’d been so enamored with his project at the clinic that he’d pretty much put his marriage on the back burner.

It’d been months since he’d brought Jen flowers or even called her between cases just to hear her voice and see how her day was going. Or taken her out for ice cream. Once they’d moved into the house, Jenny’d taken over the grocery shopping, the cooking, been around for Alex, running the house... She’d freed him up from so many things that when his idea for including the Residents in the clinic had come along, he’d fallen back into old work habits.

Sure, they’d had to work through a few adjustment issues, but they’d figured it out and Jenny’d made a place for herself in the family. He watched her over the newspaper. She was feeling neglected, but was that all it was?

Jenny draped slices of bacon on a tray and popped it in the oven. She loved her career and was finally getting the recognition she deserved, but her job was flexible. His program was fairly well established. Perhaps it was time for him to delegate more. What’d he been thinking? With both Alex and Ted off at college, they should take advantage of the freedom. Maybe travel more.

Uncle George was right—which was an odd thought in itself. Taking advice from Uncle George about women. Hmm. Then again, Uncle George had had a great marriage. He might have been gruff and unyielding with other people, but he’d adored Aunt Adele and she him. Now that Gabe thought about it, they’d spent their marriage spoiling each other. And they’d been happy, pretty much to the day she died.

Jenny’s phone tweeted. She dried her hands and picked up her phone. “Figures. Pshht.” She tossed her phone onto the newspaper and cracked eggs into a bowl.

“What?”

“Steve’s canceling on football again.”

Gabe frowned. “He didn’t say anything this morning.”

In fact, Steve had been pretty quiet on their morning rides. Gabe assumed he was preoccupied with work, but maybe it was women trouble. He’d been spending a lot more time at work and with Annie. Jenny cracked the last egg and threw the shell into the sink.

Maybe you should, too—spend more time with Jenny
.

“Who knows? Maybe princess Annie came up with a new job for him.”

“You’re still pissed about my birthday.”

“Ya think?” She gave him the same, “well, duh,” look he’d seen on the kids’ faces.

“He canceled at the last minute and refused to say why. What could’ve possibly come up that he wouldn’t have told us? A quickie with her?” Jenny beat the eggs until they were frothy and poured them into the skillet.

“Maybe he’s in love.”

Jenny rolled her eyes. “He’s not in love with that twit. If anything, he’s in lust.”

Gabe glanced down at the paper, then lifted it to get a better look. A slow smile stretched his face. And then he began to chuckle.

“Must be. This is too good.” He laughed harder. “This is great. Look.” Gabe folded the page back and turned the paper around for her to see.

“Oh. My. God.” Jenny covered her mouth, then came closer and took the paper from him. “Serves him right.” Jenny slowly nodded. “I know
exactly
what to do with this.”

The mischievous light in her eyes had him cocking his head. What could she possibly be thinking? What revenge was that beautiful brain plotting? Gabe pulled the paper back and tilted it toward the window to take another look. Yup, it was Steve all right. Standing on a fashion runway, driver in hand, he posed, modeling a golf outfit, complete with plaid pants and old-fashioned cap.

Gabe turned the page and chuckled. “Oh my God, you’ve got to be kidding.” He laughed.

“What?”

“Whatever you were thinking about doing to Steve couldn’t possibly be worse than this.”

Spatula in hand, Jenny came closer. “What?”

“Did you read the caption? Not only did she dress him up like...like...
that
and make him parade around, but she auctioned him off, too!”

The picture on the next page showed Steve between two older women, with their arms linked through his, and Steve wearing the fakest smile Gabe’d ever seen. “Oh my God that’s great. Jen, he’s been punished enough.” He held the paper up to her. “Look at that expression. It’s priceless.”

Jenny came over and laughed.

No wonder Steve had been so quiet and morose lately. Women trouble, in triplicate—Annie and his two new cougar lady friends. “I wonder if he’s missing this afternoon to go on his date.”

“A daytime date? No way.” She pointed the spatula at the pictures. “For what they probably paid for him, they’ll want a night on the town. Probably want to go clubbing, too, to show him off. Good.” She nodded and went back to the stove. “He deserves it.”

“No. Wearing that outfit was punishment enough. This is above and beyond.” Gabe shook his head.
Poor dumb bastard
.

After brunch, Gabe did the dishes and cleaned the kitchen. Then they settled on the enclosed porch, where he gave Jenny a foot massage while they did the crossword puzzle together. The porch had been more a concession to Jen than anything he’d wanted, but now it was his favorite room in the house.

It got great light, yet the shade of a huge oak tree they’d worked hard to avoid damaging while building the addition kept it from getting too hot. Perched above the yard and lake, they had a wonderful view of the water, yet they’d landscaped it with large, colorful bushes to give them plenty of privacy. The gas fireplace was the finishing touch to create a cozy, comfortable room. Gabe had insisted upon the flat screen TV, yet they didn’t often use it.

When they finished the puzzle, Jenny left to run errands. Gabe took advantage of this rare time alone to read the thriller Alex got him for his birthday, but within ten minutes, he drifted off to sleep.

Gabe jerked awake to Ritz’s barking. Squinting, he sat up. “You need to go out, girl?”

He opened the sliding door and Ritz bolted out to chase the geese waddling through the yard. He lifted his wrist to look at the time. One-thirty? Shoot, they were going to be late. Moving through the dining room, he called out, “Jen? Ready to go?”

Jenny came downstairs wearing her lucky number eighteen Manning jersey. “Yup. Andrew texted me. They’ve got our table.”

“Great.” As they pulled out of the driveway, he glanced at Steve’s house and hit the brake. His jaw dropped at the huge poster covering a large chunk of Steve’s garage door. Gabe leaned forward and then slowly accelerated down the driveway, gawking at Jenny’s handiwork.

“On every tree too?”

“And across his entire front fence,” she said with a satisfied grin.

“Oh, shit.”

Jenny had taken the photos in the paper and blown them up to varying size posters and plastered them all over Steve’s property. His garage door. His front door. The tree trunks. The fence. Gabe pulled out into the street. The fire hydrant.

Holy shit, she doesn’t mess around.

Gabe made a mental note to double the size of those flowers and have them delivered first thing in the morning.

* * *

Failure. You are an undisciplined, weak-willed woman, Jenny Harrison
.

Jenny sat on the back patio, rocking back and forth in the metal chair, like a kid rhythmically banging her head against a wall.

The longing for a child had become an obsession with Jenny over the past month. She’d tried, truly tried, to push the fixation to the back of her mind, determined not to selfishly change the rules of their marriage just because she decided she needed Gabe’s baby to complete her. But she’d had little success.

Thoughts of a baby assaulted Jenny’s defensive mental wall, hammering away until it cracked, allowing recollections and feelings to trickle to her consciousness, until her wall crumbled then burst, flooding every waking moment with thoughts of pregnancy and aching loss.