Just Enough Light (6 page)

Eventually, Cody stood and issued a teasing challenge. “Who’s up for some pool? Kel?”

“Sure.” Kellen turned to Dana and extended her hand. “Shall we take on this youngster and show her how it’s done?” She couldn’t read the expression on Dana’s face but was pleased when she accepted the hand she’d offered and allowed Kellen to help her up. “You mentioned it’s been a while. Do you want to practice a bit first?”

Dana grinned. “I doubt it will do me much good, so why don’t we just go for it. What are the stakes?”

Before Kellen could respond, Cody jumped in. “How about a dollar a ball? Does that sound okay?”

Kellen frowned and stared at Cody, but the young woman ignored her while Dana considered the possibilities. “Fifteen balls, fifteen dollars. I think I can manage that.” She accepted the cue Cody offered her and began to chalk it.

“Why don’t you break, Dr. Kingston,” Cody said, clearly feeling gracious, while Kellen racked the balls. “The game is eight ball. Do you know it?”

“Thanks, I’d be happy to break. And if you remember, you agreed to call me Dana.” She looked at the table. “Eight ball? If I remember correctly, once I break, I’ll be assigned either stripes or solids, assuming I sink something.”

“That’s right,” Cody responded with a small grin and rattled off the rest of the rules.

“Sounds about right.” Dana took a moment to steady herself, then bent over the table and took her first shot. She sank three balls on the break. Moving around the table, she leaned over, narrowed her eyes to determine the best angle, and neatly sank the next ball.

She picked up her beer, took a quick sip, and went back to work. Assessing her next move, and the one after that, she proceeded to run the table, knocking in a succession of solid balls with ease.

“Nice run,” Kellen murmured.

“Thanks.” Dana chalked her cue one more time and called her final shot, striking the eight ball and sending it cleanly into the corner pocket. “I believe that’s fifteen dollars each of you owes me.”

While the others cheered, Kellen started to laugh and wrapped one arm around Cody’s shoulder. “Cody, I think we’ve just been hustled.”

*

Shortly after the pool game ended, the unexpected evening also came to an end. Kellen settled the bill with the hostess, gathered the girls and their coats, waved and headed out into the cold.

Dana and Annie followed more slowly, shivering as they climbed into Annie’s SUV. Stars were beginning to show through the wisps of cloud overhead and they both sat looking up as they waited for the vehicle to warm up, lost in their own thoughts.

“You’re going to be so good for her,” Annie said, breaking the comfortable silence.

“Oh Lord, Annie.” Dana didn’t bother pretending she didn’t know what Annie meant. “Don’t tell me you’re going for the less-than-subtle matchmaking, too? And you can stop grinning while you’re at it.”

“I’m sorry,” she responded, but she didn’t sound sorry at all. “I need you to know, it wasn’t ever my intention to set anything up this evening or to make you feel uncomfortable in any way. But I have to admit, I thought what the girls were doing was cute.”

“Cute?”

“They love Kellen and just want what’s best for her, as do I. And you did tell me you hit on her before you had any idea who she was, so you had to be interested.”

“I did. She’s smoking hot.” She met Annie’s eyes calmly so she would know she spoke the truth. “I was. And no one made me feel uncomfortable.”

“Good. I’m glad. And I did tell you how pleased I was that Kellen showed some interest in return, didn’t I?”

“Yes, you did,” Dana said with something like a sigh. She opened her mouth to speak but stopped, knowing Annie wouldn’t understand the doubts that came from years of dancing to someone else’s tune.

“Don’t think about it too much. Tonight was a good start. For everyone. We’re all going to be working closely and it generally works best if we can get along. That’s all that matters for now.” Annie’s brow creased. “I do have one question for you, though.”

“Yes?”

“After spending some time with Kellen and the girls, and hopefully recognizing that they come as a package deal, are you still interested?”

There was no question. It was a hell of a package. Caring, compassionate, intelligent, and sexy with a heart-stopping face. Dana looked down at her hands for a moment. “The simple answer is yes, but I’ll be honest and tell you I don’t know what that means.”

“It means whatever you want it to mean.”

Dana considered her words. “Annie, Kellen and I really don’t know each other. An initial interest on both sides doesn’t mean we’ll fit well, if at all. And while I wouldn’t mind taking a chance, finding out more, everything seems to be happening too fast.”

“New job, new place, new interest?”

“Yes. I find myself in unfamiliar territory and I think I’m afraid I’ll make the wrong decision. Make the wrong move. I need to find
where
I fit first, get my feet planted firmly under me, and that doesn’t leave much time for anything else. Like finding out
who
might fit with me.”

“Can I share a bit of personal history?”

“Of course.”

“My mother once told me she knew my father was the one for her within an hour of meeting him. They were living together a month after they met. I laughed it off at the time. And then I met Lesley. I felt it instantly, but I wasted ten years we might have enjoyed together fighting who I was and what I thought was expected. Believing my choices would hurt the people I loved only to discover my parents just wanted me to be happy.” Annie reached over and squeezed Dana’s hand. “It was your instincts that brought you here to Haven, Dana. Keep trusting them.”

Kellen awoke with a start. There was a scream trapped in her throat, her heart was pounding, her skin was damp with sweat, and Bogart’s cold nose was pressed against her hand. Bringing her back. Reassuring her. Grounding her.

Bogart nuzzled closer. Without saying a word, she scratched his head and let him know she was all right, although the taste of fear lingered. She’d wondered once how he knew, but decided gifts weren’t necessarily meant to be understood, only accepted.

Eyes gritty from too little sleep, she blinked several times and waited until her vision adjusted to the relative darkness that enveloped her. The cabin was filled with shadows blurring the details, the only source of illumination provided by the glowing embers of the fire she’d built a couple of hours ago.

She didn’t need more light than that to know only ghosts stirred in the stillness. But she stared at her hands nonetheless, reassuring herself the blood she’d seen moments before had only been there in her dream.

She’d known from past experience it was likely going to be a rough night. Ever since Cody had mentioned the cop that had come by asking for her, there’d been too much adrenaline and energy crashing around inside her. Too much fear. Too many memories. Too many consequences.

There was also more than a bit of annoyance, because she’d yet to deal with the issue head-on. Yet to ask Annie what she might know. And it wasn’t as if she hadn’t had a chance. But after coming back from dinner with the team the previous evening, she’d pleaded tiredness and called it a day.

She’d walked with the girls as far as their cabin, then tried all the usual tools at her disposal, much as she did when things got rough. She headed to the recreation center. The gym was a source of personal pride and boasted state-of-the-art equipment and a challenging climbing wall, while the newest section included a selection of auto belayers, which meant she could work alone.

She spent time on the climbing wall. Swam laps in the pool. Did everything she could to wear herself out so the nightmares would be kept at bay. But nothing had helped. Not even warm thoughts of the new doctor. Dana Kingston, of the fair hair, incredibly deep brown eyes, endless legs, and gentle humor.

In the end, Kellen headed back to her cabin with Bogart. Hoping for the best. But when she finally managed to fall asleep, her demons crept out of the shadows where they’d been waiting for her.

That was the problem with memories. They lived in her mind and there was no outrunning them.

Her saving grace was Bogart. He’d pulled her out of the nightmare that held her in its grasp. Stayed beside her while the beat of his heart drove the remaining images away. Just like he always did.

Kellen knew most people would find it strange, at best, if they knew the truth. But for some inexplicable reason, she had a connection with Bogart. She’d sensed it from the moment she spotted him on the interstate. He had just escaped the rear wheels of a southbound semi and stood shaking on the side of the road. Young, emaciated, half-frozen.

Not that different from the girls, the first time she laid eyes on them.

She’d pulled over and somehow rescued him. Barely dodging a speeding SUV, she managed to grab him, coming away with nothing more than torn jeans and skinned knees. She’d then tucked the shivering pup inside her sweatshirt, sharing her body heat with him while she took him to see a vet she knew in Denver.

Susan had shrugged when she saw Kellen at her door with a bedraggled puppy of questionable parentage in her hands. Without saying a word, she examined the pup thoroughly and declared him surprisingly healthy, albeit malnourished and underweight. Together they’d then cleaned him up and discovered that beneath the filth was a likely purebred German shepherd puppy, maybe eight weeks old, with bright trusting eyes. The pup had looked up at the two women and had unerringly chosen Kellen. Crawled into her arms, licked her neck, and promptly gone to sleep.

In that moment, she knew he’d chosen her as much as she had chosen him. Just as she knew the two of them would be going home to Haven together. He needed a home. And she had one to share.

Bogart had paid Kellen back for his life a thousand times over. He’d grown into an incredible dog. Beautiful, intelligent, and tireless. Along the way, he’d insinuated himself into every aspect of her life, taking to canine search-and-rescue training as if he’d been born to it.

But more important, he had an innate ability to sense her moods and could bring her out of a bad spell with a lick or a nudge of his nose. Even when she’d been hospitalized. Somehow Annie had pulled off a minor miracle, convincing the staff that it would be in the best interest of both patient and dog to allow Bogart into her room. And there he’d remained, watching over her, comforting her, until she was strong enough to leave the hospital.

Unconditional love, Kellen thought wryly. She would have laughed if anyone had told her she’d ever get unconditional love. And not only from Bogart, but from Cody and Ren, who offered it to her each and every day in so many different ways. As did Annie, for that matter. Pretty damned amazing, especially for someone who’d grown up not knowing love of any kind.

Resigned to the truth that sleep would not be returning, Kellen crawled out from under the duvet and padded on unsteady legs to the kitchen. Trying not to think or do anything beyond what had become an everyday routine. She turned on the coffeemaker she’d prepared before going to bed, fed Bogart, and let him out. Then with nothing left to do, she headed to the shower.

Once there, sitting on the tiles with her knees drawn up against her chest and her head pressed to her knees, Kellen let the water beat down on her and hoped it would wash away the remnants of her dream. Hoped it would wash away the blood and the fear and the horror. She deliberately blanked her mind, concentrating on her breathing until she was conscious only of the heat enveloping her, cocooning her as it wrapped heated arms around her.

But she was still cold.

Twenty minutes later, she’d prepared a thermos of coffee and was dressed with silk long johns under her jeans, thick socks in her boots, a black turtleneck, and a black down-filled vest. She opened the door and was hit by a brief, fierce surge of passion.

Haven was still shrouded in darkness as she inhaled the cold air infused with pine. She felt it chill her face. Saw the remnant of the moon still visible in the sky. Felt the pines and spruce trees surround her, tall, but not high enough to block the beauty of the rugged mountains.

At thirty-two, she had traveled extensively. Lived in large cities and small towns, slept in alleys, in cars, and under bridges. She had never before understood how anyone could feel connected to one place.

But here? As she stood mesmerized by her surroundings, she felt sheltered. Protected. And here she welcomed the dawning of a new day. She stood still. Let her senses swim and enjoyed the bite of the cold as she listened to the sound of the silence.

And then her radio squawked.

Automatically reaching for it, Kellen mentally prepared herself to face whatever the new day was bringing.

*

Dana awoke, not to the familiar sounds of car alarms and sirens and traffic, but to birdsong. She lay still for a moment, listening with pleasure to the lilting call near her window before opening her eyes.

The morning sun streamed through the slatted blinds, painting pale stripes of gray over the tumbled bedding, and letting her know she had slept much later than usual. But she didn’t care because she also realized she was smiling and, try as she might, she couldn’t remember a time in her past when she’d awoken every day with a smile on her face.

The air that she breathed was still and cold, but under the duvet she was cozy and warm all the way to her soul. Content.

Not surprising, she thought, because her first week in Haven had been filled with hard work and unexpected moments of fun and laughter, as she got to know the new people in her life. Consequently, for the past week, she’d enjoyed the most peaceful nights’ sleep she’d experienced in a very long time.

Maybe because she knew she didn’t have to get up and face long lines of people with gunshot and knife wounds waiting for medical attention in the ER.

Far more likely because she knew while life in Haven was still quite foreign to her, that couldn’t detract from the feeling she’d had since her arrival. The feeling of homecoming.