Authors: Rosalind James
“Mate. Can I get that autograph now?” one of the Australians
was asking. Kate gave herself a mental shake. This was getting way too cozy. Jessica
came to sit beside her as Koti was drawn into more autograph signing and picture-taking
with the rest of their group. The Canadian and Japanese tourists, Kate was
amused to see, were getting in on the action too.
“Would you mind taking a photo of me with him as well?” the
guide asked, following the direction of Kate’s gaze. “That’ll be one for my
Facebook page. It’s gone down a treat with the group, having him along.”
“Even the ones who didn’t know who he was,” Kate said wryly.
“Reckon he’s worth having a look at anyway,” Jessica agreed
cheerfully.
Kate had to laugh. It was true, after all. And Jessica’s
honest appreciation was easier to take than the aggressive attentions of the
buxom Liz, who was currently draping herself over Koti for a photo.
Jessica correctly interpreted Kate’s frown. “Bit rough for
you, dating someone that popular with the girls,” she commiserated.
“Oh, no,” Kate hastened to explain as Koti finally disengaged
himself and came back to join them. “We’re just friends.”
“
Good
friends,” he corrected, sliding into a seat
opposite her and offering his brilliant smile. But somehow, the patented dazzle
seemed different now. Felt personal, meant for her alone. Seeing it, something
in her began to soften in response. She felt a smile of her own growing as she
looked into his brown eyes, saw the warmth and appreciation in them.
Jessica cleared her throat. “Yeh, right. I can see that.”
Kate brought her attention back with a start. “Koti, Jessica
wants her picture taken with you too. Can you manage one more?”
“Long as we can have a real feed afterwards. Can’t risk you
chewing on my arm on the trip home.”
When their substantial dinner had been followed by a dash
through the pelting rain an hour later, Kate was glad to be inside the car
again.
“Put the seat warmer on,” Koti urged as he started the
engine. “You’re still cold, I can tell.”
“I got too chilled on the tour,” she admitted. “I haven’t
been able to warm up all the way, no matter what I’ve done.”
“Here, put on my jumper,” he offered, pulling it over his
head. “That should help.”
The wool was still warm from his body. Still carried his
smell too, she realized, clean and just a little musky. She breathed in the
scent and snuggled into the soft merino more deeply.
“Warm enough now?” he asked a few minutes later. At her
murmured assent, he couldn’t resist adding, “You might not have got so cold if
you hadn’t wasted all that energy screaming like a girl.”
“Oh, well,” she answered lazily, relaxed and drowsy now in
the warmth of the car, the smell of him around her, the hypnotic slap of the
windshield wipers. “I
am
a girl.”
He laughed. “I’ve noticed. I’ve been impressed, though, at
everything you’re willing to try. Don’t back down easily even when you’re
scared, do you?”
“I made a promise to myself that I wouldn’t anymore. I’ve
had my fill of giving in to fear. I need to go ahead and do the things that
frighten me.” It was easier to be honest, here in the dark intimacy of the car.
“I know I need to get stronger. So I’ve started seeing somebody. A therapist.
Talking to her about what happened. And that’s one of the things that’s come
out of it. If I don’t want to be scared all the time anymore, I have to accept
the challenges. Beat the fear. Just like strength training for my body, I
suppose. Working against resistance.”
He nodded. “I can see that. Good on ya. What else would you
try? Skydiving? Bungy jumping?”
“Very scary,” she admitted with a sigh. “I’d have to work up
to those. But I won’t rule them out.”
“Still turning down some challenges, though,” he pointed
out. “Still turning me down, eh.”
“I’m willing to take reasonable risks. But not stupid ones.
I won’t go skydiving without a parachute, either.”
“Could feel a bit like that, I’m starting to think.
Freefalling,” he said softly.
The words hung in the air between them. Kate found herself
grateful again for the darkness. She struggled to come up with a sharp
response, but for once, nothing came to mind. Wrapped in the warm cocoon of the
oversized sweater, looking across at his profile, the strong bones and sensuous
mouth visible in the glow of the dashboard lights, she had an overwhelming urge
to move closer, feel his solidity and warmth beneath her hands again, the way
she had in the van. It had felt so good, being wrapped in his arms. Whatever
she tried to tell herself, she wanted to feel that way again.
As if responding to the charged atmosphere, the music
playing in the car changed, a soft, slow reggae beat filling the air. Kate
shook her head, tried to shake off the sudden intimacy that had sent a rush of
heat through her.
“We need to change this song,” she said unsteadily. “This
isn’t helping.”
Koti shot a look at her in the darkness. “That’s Bob Marley.
A classic. You don’t like it?”
“I don’t need to hear him singing about giving me some good
loving,” she admitted. “This was too good a day for me. And you’re being too
nice. The singing, too. All that must have lowered my defenses. I need to
remind myself of your less admirable qualities. Could you please tease me
again?”
“I’d be glad to tease you. Be willing to do it all night. It’s
all I’ve been thinking about. All I want to do. Just say the word.”
Kate found herself shifting in her seat as the heat, the
thrill shot through her again. She had to get hold of herself. This was too
dangerous. The rain, the music, his words. He was just flirting, she knew. But
she was much too susceptible right now. She picked up his iPod and deliberately
advanced the music. Go away, Bob Marley, she thought crossly. Go titillate
somebody else.
“That’s better,” she sighed as an upbeat number began
playing.
Koti cleared his throat. “How much longer do you think we
can avoid this? It’s getting hard for me.”
“I don’t know,” she said. “The friends thing isn’t working
very well, is it? But could we not talk about it anymore right now? I’m
confused.”
“Makes two of us,” he muttered. “Confused. Bothered. Randy
as hell.”
She laughed a little in rueful agreement, but didn’t answer.
They sat in silence, the music soft and slow again now as the wipers continued
their rhythmic slap. The warmth and the darkness gradually lulled her into
sleepiness, her late night and adventurous day beginning to catch up with her.
The third time she jerked awake, Koti told her with a sigh,
“Go on and go to sleep. You don’t need to keep your wits about you any more
tonight, I promise. I’ll wake you when we get close.”
“Would you sing me that song?” she asked drowsily. “The one
you were talking about. I really want to hear it. Please?”
“
Pokarekare Ana?
I don’t mind.” He turned off the
music system. Settled back in his seat. Kate turned to watch him as he began to
sing, his voice soft but true. She sighed as she listened to the sweet, simple
melody, snuggling into the leather seatback and pulling the warm sweater more
closely around her. She was safe here, she realized as she drifted off to the
sound of his voice. Safe and warm. It was all right.
“Kate.” She pulled herself up, out of layers of sleep, at
the sound of his familiar voice. “We’re here,” he told her, reaching behind him
to pull her bag from the back seat.
“You didn’t forget my address, then,” she mumbled as he came
around to help her out of the car. Still clumsy with sleep, she was grateful
for his arm around her. At least the rain had stopped.
“Good thing.” He smiled down at her. “Thought I was going to
have to carry you in. You were pretty far down.”
She retrieved her keys from her bag, shivering again as they
ascended the stairs to her first-floor flat. “Thanks.” She turned at her door.
“For letting me sleep. And for the day. It was wonderful.”
“And it’s ending even better, because I get to ask you to
undress now. My jumper,” he pointed out. “Unless you want me to get it from you
at the office this week.”
“Oh.” She fumbled with the sweater in embarrassment. “Right.
‘Here are your clothes back.’ That’d get the grapevine going.” She wrestled the
oversized garment off at last and handed it back to him. “Thanks again.”
“Bonus. Smells like you now,” he commented as he pulled it
over his own head. She flushed to realize she’d had the same thought.
“Go inside before you freeze.” He leaned forward and kissed
her gently. “See you for a swim Wednesday. Unless it’s raining too hard.”
Her hand on the open door, Kate turned and watched him walk
back to his car. She could still feel the tingling warmth of his mouth against
hers. He’d rushed away so fast. Yet earlier, in the car, he’d sounded serious.
Which was it? Was he playing a game, or was he really as attracted to her as
she was to him?
She shrugged at last in frustrated confusion and closed the
door. She didn’t know what was going on in his mind, and it didn’t matter
anyway. Because no matter how attracted she was, she wasn’t prepared for a
relationship with him. When it was time, she intended to start small. And Koti
James, it was blindingly clear, played in the major leagues.
“You look so tired,” Kate told Hannah a few days later. “When
are you planning to stop working?”
When Hannah had called to suggest lunch, Kate had jumped at
the chance to catch up. Seeing her friend for the first time in several weeks,
though, she couldn’t help being concerned. Other than her belly, its contours
clearly visible in a slim-cut tunic and leggings, Hannah didn’t seem any
heavier than she’d been when Kate had first known her. More fragile, if anything.
And though she’d made an effort, makeup couldn’t disguise the shadows beneath
her eyes.
“You sound like Drew,” Hannah said now, sighing and easing
herself into a more comfortable position. “I’m fine. Just a little tired. And
before you ask, yes, the baby’s growing, and the midwife says I’m all right. I’m
not one of those women who gain a lot of weight when they’re pregnant, I guess.
Eating and sleeping are a little tough right now, that’s all.”
“So why are you still working?” Kate pressed.
“I’m only doing half days now. That’s why I could give myself
a treat and meet you. I’ll be stopping altogether after tomorrow. And then I’m
not going back for a year, can you believe that?”
“You get that much maternity leave?” Kate asked with shock.
Hannah nodded. “Isn’t it amazing? Only about three months is
paid. But it’ll be wonderful to be able to spend almost the entire first year
with the baby, not have to worry about going back while he’s little.”
“I’m surprised you’ve worked this long, then. Wouldn’t you
be better off resting at home?”
“Thanks, Mom. Don’t start. I’ve felt better working, half
days anyway, than sitting at home waiting. But I already lost this argument. Did
I tell you Drew’s mum is coming up to stay next week? Just in case the baby
starts arriving when he’s not around. And, I suspect, to ‘take care’ of me.”
Hannah made air quotes with her hands and grimaced.
“Hope you like her. That’s a lot of closeness. I’ll admit,
though, I’m glad to hear you won’t be alone. Drew’s in Christchurch, isn’t he?
I heard the All Blacks left this morning. I’m surprised he left you, the way
you look.”
Hannah groaned. “Don’t tell him that. He’d agree with you. But
he’ll be back on Sunday. He’ll only be gone three days, and I’m not due for
weeks. It would have been ridiculous for him to stay home.”
“Let me know if you need me for anything,” Kate pressed.
“Even if it’s just company, or distraction. You know I’ll be there for you.
You’ve done so much for me.”
“Thanks. I will. But Kate, I wanted to have lunch with you for
another reason as well. Other than being nagged. Because I don’t get nearly
enough of that at home.”
“I have some news that might be upsetting,” Hannah continued
more seriously, putting a hand on her friend’s arm. “Not too bad, though, I
hope.”
Kate set down her fork, the familiar icy fingers of dread
curling through her. “Paul,” she said flatly.
“I’m afraid so,” Hannah told her sympathetically. “I was
talking to Beth back in the California office yesterday, and she told me he’d
been in there asking about you. And that he heard something.”
“What could he hear? I didn’t think anyone knew anything.”
“That you might have gone out of the country. Because you’d
talked about the possibility, before it got so serious. Still, nobody there
knows where you are, so they couldn’t tell him. I haven’t let on that you’ve
even been in touch with me, much less that I’ve seen you. But Beth told me that
Paul came into the office, posing as a private investigator. He showed your
picture around, said he’d been hired to track you down for fraud.”
“I’m sorry, Kate,” she went on as her friend looked
increasingly upset. “But I thought you should know. So you can keep being
careful.”
“You’re right. I need to know,” Kate said grimly. “Don’t
worry about me. Go on.”
“Beth only found out about it later. Otherwise, you know
she’d have made sure he was escorted out of the building. But apparently he
talked to some of the people in Customer Service who didn’t know about him, and
they told him what they’d heard. They know not to talk now, anyway,” Hannah
said comfortingly at Kate’s made a sound of distress. “Beth made sure of that.
And it’s not much to go on. ‘Out of the country’ covers a lot of territory.
He’s not going to be able to find you from that.”
“But he’s still looking,” Kate countered. “When I heard from
my parents a few weeks ago, I hoped that was a last gasp. But now he actually
knows something. Thank God I didn’t talk more to anyone. You’re sure you
haven’t let on even to Beth that I’m here?”