Just Joe (17 page)

"You're Jasamine
Creig," she told her disbelievingly. The painting, being a Jasamine Creig,
was worth thousands, but it was the caring that went into it that gave it its
real value.

Jassy smiled a little.
"That's the name I work under. I much prefer being Jassy Baron."

"I attended your last
show," Mattie continued quietly. "Your work is so touching. Every
painting seemed to have something to say to me."

It was Jassy's turn to
become a little flustered, while both men looked on at their women with almost
identical expressions of smugness.

Jassy and Mattie didn't
notice, however, and fell into a lively discussion about places they had seen
and captured on canvas and film, respectively. Mattie felt the distance she had
always maintained with others melting away, and she realized with an aching
rush of joy that she and Jassy could be friends. This was something else Joe
had given her.

Her eyes instinctively
moved to seek him out and she found his gaze on her, warm and tender and caring.
Mattie had never felt so happy as she felt in that moment. Christmas, she
discovered, was a holiday of the heart.

They talked for an hour
more, the four of them delighting in one another's company. They seemed to mesh
somehow, complement each other, and by the time the evening was over they were
well on their way to a lasting friendship. It was Jassy who bowed out of the
conversation first.

Groaning comically, she
rose to her feet. "I have to do the dishes now, or they just won't get
done. Our housekeeper, Juana, is off for the holidays," she explained for
Joe and Mattie's benefit.

Mattie jumped instantly to
her feet. "Let me help you."

Jassy shook her head, but
it was Cole who issued the denial. "Sorry, Mattie, that's my job."

"No," Jassy
protested laughingly. "You're off the hook tonight, Cole, You stay here
and entertain our guests. I'll wash
and
dry tonight."

"Sweetheart..."
Cole began protestingly.

Jassy grinned cheekily.
"You can make it up to me later," she told him softly. "In the
Jacuzzi."

Mattie turned six shades
of red while Cole's eyes flamed seductively. "You're on."

Jassy swung from the room
with a wink, and Cole's eyes followed her the entire way.

It was Joe who brought his
attention back to them with a question about the ranch. They picked up their
conversation where they had left off earlier. Mattie sat quietly, not really
listening to the words they spoke but observing the warmth between them. They
obviously shared a genuine caring for each other.

They were both so open to
other people, she thought be-wilderedly, feeling, not for the first time in
recent weeks, how much she missed by hiding behind the walls she had erected.
They seemed to invite others to come close, while all she could do was push
them away. Dammit, she was tired of being alone! She had let Joe into her
heart, and he had given her back a hundredfold of what she had given him. Maybe
she could have it all, maybe she could have what Jassy and Cole had, if she
could only exorcise the ghosts of her past.

Mattie's brain was
whirling with these confused and troubled thoughts. She knew that she wouldn't
find the answer tonight, not when she couldn't even think straight, so she
forcefully pulled her thoughts from their inward speculation and focused once
more on the conversation around them.

It took her about fifteen
seconds to realize that Cole's mind was elsewhere, too. His eyes kept drifting
toward the doorway, and he shifted restlessly in the loveseat he had shared
with Jassy a few minutes ago. Joe was watching him with a knowing amusement,
his mouth quirked as he waited for the next move.

Mattie watched them both,
bewildered. What kind of game were they playing?

Suddenly Cole jumped from
his chair so abruptly that Mattie started.

"I think I'll go see
if Jassy needs some help," he announced to no one in particular, already
striding from the room.

The silence he left behind
lasted for perhaps five seconds before Joe burst into laughter.

"Joe... ?"
Mattie asked in confusion.

Joe was shaking with
laughter, and Mattie punched his arm in frustration. "Would you stop
laughing and tell me what's so funny? What's wrong with Cole? He seemed so
restless. Is he sick... ?"

"Sixteen
minutes," Joe wheezed finally, his eyes gleaming with laughter still.
"He lasted sixteen minutes this time. What an improvement!"

"What are you talking
about?" Mattie demanded.

"Sixteen minutes ago
Jassy left this room," Joe pointed out. "Within five minutes Cole was
restless. Within ten he couldn't keep his eyes away from the door. Sixteen
minutes and not even politeness stopped him from going to her."

Mattie still looked
perplexed.

"Mattie, it drives
him crazy to be in a position where he can't see or touch Jassy!"

"That's not something
to laugh about," Mattie protested indignantly. "I think it's...
sweet."

"Of course it's
sweet," Joe agreed. "But it's not what I expect from Cole Baron. The
man is so independent it's intimidating. Remember what I told you on the way up
here? Until Jassy came into his life, there was no one and nothing in this
entire world that Cole
needed."

Mattie considered that
silently. "Another part of... loving, Joe?"

"Another part of
loving," Joe agreed softly.

"Sweet..."
Mattie murmured almost silently. "Still.. .sixteen minutes. Jassy must
feel a little smothered."

The intimate, loving sound
of laughter drifting from the kitchen was a most emphatic denial.

Hours later Cole stood
quietly at the bottom of the porch steps, the cold night air cutting through
his jacket as he fo-

cused on Joe's stiff back.
Sighing almost silently, he crossed the front yard to lean beside Joe on the
paddock fence.

Joe's eyes seemed to be
focused on the horizon, but somehow Cole knew that he wasn't seeing anything
but the pictures he held in his mind.

Joe turned his head
slightly to acknowledge Cole's presence but did not say a word. The silence
lasted quite a while before Cole finally spoke.

"Pretty night,"
he remarked laconically.

"Yeah," Joe
agreed, his eyes narrowing in the darkness. "I thought you'd be asleep by
now. We turned in long ago."

"I heard you go out
about an hour ago. When you didn't come in, I thought you could use some
company."

Joe smiled slightly at the
unspoken friendship expressed in those two sentences. "Jassy asleep?"

"Mmm. Mattie?"

"I think she dropped
off right away. She was pretty excited about meeting you. I guess it took its
toll."

"She's a pretty lady,
your Mattie," Cole said carefully.

"Beautiful," Joe
corrected softly. "Inside and out."

"There's something in
her eyes sometimes—"

"Yeah," Joe
said, cutting him off abruptly. "Something we're trying to work out."

"You know," Cole
began softly, "I remember you telling us once that you wouldn't retire
from football and come home until you found that one special person to share
your life with. I was beginning to think it wasn't going to happen for
you."

Joe knew exactly what he
was talking about. "I guess I was, too," he admitted. "But it
only took a second. She's twined around my heart so tightly..." He sighed,
and a silence stretched between them. "I need to ask you a question,"
Joe grated finally, his eyes wary.

"Shoot."

"It's personal."

Cole eyed him a little
warily. "What are friends for?"

"You remember when
you first brought Jassy here, just after you met her?"

"Of course I
do," Cole recalled, his lips curving in amusement. "You dropped in
for an unexpected visit and found her in the barn explaining aerodynamics to a
horse."

Joe's own smile lasted for
perhaps a quarter of a second. "She didn't love you then."

Cole drew a deep breath
and held it unconsciously. "No, she didn't."

"She loves you
now." It was a flat statement of fact, and Joe uttered it tonelessly.

"Yes." There was
a world of contentment in that one word, and the unexpected stab of envy it
produced made Joe's voice harsher than he had intended when he forced his next
question.

"How did you do that?
How did you make her love you?"

"Oh, Lord."
Cole's voice was filled with sudden understanding. "Joe, I'm sorry. I
didn't realize..."

"That Mattie doesn't
love me?" Joe completed quietly. "She says I'm her best friend. It's
not enough, Cole. I want more, everything. I want what you and Jassy
have."

It was a curiously raw
moment between two strong men whose emotions were rarely revealed.

"I didn't
make
Jassy
love me, Joe. I don't know if it's possible to force love out of someone. I
kept her with me, and she did the rest."

"You kept her with
you?" Joe latched on to that. "How? How did you keep her with you?''

Cole shook his head
wearily. "I don't want to talk about it, Joe. It's not something I'm proud
of."

"It worked."

"But it cost
me," Cole told him in a muffled voice. "It cost me three months
without Jassy. It cost me a lot of pain and a lot of loneliness. I almost lost
her entirely because of what I did. It was wrong."

"But it worked,"
Joe insisted in a low, driven tone.

"Ultimately,
no," Cole said. "We talked about it later. She told me that it
wasn't—what I did to hold her that brought her back to me. It was me, the man.
Who I was, what I was, what I felt for her and what I made her feel. Before I
go to bed each night, I thank God for bringing Jassy back to me, Joe. Because
what I did almost drove her away."

"You're not going to
tell me, are you?"

"No," Cole
answered steadily. "I'm not going to tell you. There aren't any easy answers,
not with love. I wish I could—" He broke off helplessly, unable to phrase
what he wanted to say.

Joe understood without the
words. "I'll take it as said, Cole. Maybe with time..."

"Love
can
grow,
Joe. It doesn't have to hit like a lightning bolt. It's not any less because it
grows slowly."

"Do you think Jassy
loves you more than you love her?" Joe asked ironically, already knowing
the answer.

"I can't imagine any
one loving another person more than I love Jassy," Cole answered a little
roughly. "If she loves me equally, then I'm one of the two most loved
people in the world. And that's more than enough. It feels good to love, Joe.
It feels like... being whole. Don't you think so?"

Joe thought of his own
love for Mattie. "Yeah," he agreed softly. "It feels like...
finally being whole."

"That's a hell of a
lot, Joe. How much more do you want?"

Joe turned to meet his
eyes steadily. "How much more can I have?"

Neither had an answer for
that question. The one person who did was asleep in the house and unaware of
the raw plea. Cole clasped Joe briefly on the shoulder in a gesture of
understanding and silent support, then turned to the house where the woman who
was his wife and lover and best friend waited. Joe turned back to the horizon,
scanning the night for hope and strength.

Eight

Mattie fell in love with
Joe's ranch at first sight. Stepping from the Jeep, she felt the most
overwhelming sense of homecoming that she had ever experienced. It was as if
she had been waiting all her life to come back to a place she had never been
before. The wide open spaces beckoned her, the house seemed to call to her.
There was welcome in the air. She turned to Joe, her eyes meeting his
exuberantly. "It's perfect, Joe. It looks like...home." She turned
back to the large ranch house in front of her, studying the long porch and the
old swing that shouted for someone to occupy it. She could see the house as it
must have been thirty years ago, when Joe was growing up. A hundred years ago,
when the land was not as hospitable as it was now. She could feel the history
and the memories of the house and the land and the sky as if she had been here
for a thousand years and witnessed it all.