Just Once (38 page)

I see a muscle tick in his jaw and think he’s about to speak, though I don’t know if I want to hear what he has to say. If he quits, I’m fucked. If he doesn’t, I’m screwed. Because there’s no way I can fire Shane: he’s good at his job, and people respect him. But every day will be a little bit of torture, seeing him and knowing I can’t have him anymore. I’ve given this a lot of thought over the past week, and if I’m going to be the boss, I’ll have to make tough choices. This is the one I’ve settled on. I’ll let Shane decide. On my terms. Sort of.

“Kate? Are you a vampire now?” Hailey appears in the doorway, cleaning basket tucked under her arm. “You’re taking awfully—Oh.” She cuts off abruptly when she sees Shane and me facing off. “Sorry, I’ll—”

“No.” I stop her. “That’s fine. Are you done with your cabins?”

“Yeah. Do you need help?”

I stare at Shane pointedly while I answer. “Yes. But only if you’re willing.”

Hailey gives me a weird look. “I’m willing.”

“Great. Thanks.”

We’re interrupted by a faint fluttering noise. I turn toward the master bedroom just in time to see a small black shape zip through the room and zoom out the open cabin door.

The look Shane gives me is full of meaning, though what he’s trying to convey I can’t—or simply won’t—guess. And then, as always, he leaves.

Chapter Twenty-Four

“K
ATE
, T
HIS
I
S
T
RAGIC
. A heartbreaking tragedy.”

“It’s not. It’s fine.”

I’m back on the milk crate, listening as Stanley almost sobs in my ear about the unfairness of unrequited—and unacknowledged—love.

“Nothing’s fine!” he shouts. “You know how many men I’ve seen you with? Dozens. A hundred maybe.”

I wince. “Stanley!”

“But you didn’t love any of them. I wondered if you even knew how.”

“I’m going to hang up.”

“And do you know how many parties we’ve been to? How many bottles of expensive wine we’ve shared? How many hours we spent photographing all the shoes in your closet?”

That was one of the “tasks” Stanley insisted we accomplish during my recent recovery period. He enjoyed it. I did not.

“What are you getting at, Stanley?”

“Kate, you’ve been to the best places with the best food and wine and clothes and music, and, arguably, some of the best people—namely me. And, oh, fine, Anton. But I’ve never seen you as at home as you are out there, in the middle of some godforsaken forest, on the top of a mountain, with a bunch of hillbillies.”

“Thanks?”

“You belong there. You’re in love with that place and that man. Don’t let him chase you away.”

“No one is chasing anyone. The season is done. Two more days of cleanup and we’re out of here. Half the staff has already gone.”

“I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again—”

“Do not tell me I have nowhere better to be!”

“You don’t!”

“You’re hurting my feelings.”

“Kate, my dear, they were already broken. I’m just pointing it out. You can fix this.”

“How? Sell the ranch to someone else and ask Shane to date me now that I’m not his boss?”

“You’ve got a lot of arguments, Katharine Burke, but you know the one thing you haven’t argued with?”

I sigh. “I suppose you’re going to tell me.”

“You haven’t denied that you love him.”

“Stanley—”

“Think about it.” And then, like a jerk, he hangs up.

Matt leaves that afternoon. No notice, just one minute he’s here, helping clean cabins and nail boards over windows, and the next he’s got his pack slung over his shoulder and is coming to say goodbye.

“What?” I ask lamely as he hugs me.

“A friend of mine is having a party in Phoenix in two days. I thought I’d go.”

“Just like that?”

“Season’s over.”

“But…”

“Peace out, Kate. You’re going to be an awesome owner.”

We’re standing in the kitchen where I’ve been helping Alec and Mark do inventory.

“Well…Bye.”

“Bye.” He waves to the chefs, they wave back, and he walks out the door without a backward glance. Through the window I watch him amble down the road, disappearing from view.

“I’ll need a minute,” I tell Alec, then hustle over to cabin two where Hailey is working.

“Hey,” she says when I enter.

“Hey. Did you know Matt left?”

“Yeah. He just said goodbye.”

“Did you know?”

“Like in advance? Nope.”

I study her closely. She seems fine. Not sad in the least. “How come you don’t seem upset?”

She shrugs. “I don’t know. He’ll be fine. I’ll be fine. It was just a summer thing. Summer’s over.”

I slump on the bed. “Hell. It’s over.”

Hailey sits next to me. “We’ve still got two days left. Let’s not be sad.”

I eyeball her. “I have two days left. You’re not going anywhere.”

“True.” Just last week Hailey was hired as the kitchen/dining room manager at a resort thirty minutes down the road. Located near a small ski hill, they stay open year-round and cater to winter-sports enthusiasts. They take people snowshoeing, cross-country skiing, and ice climbing. Pretty much anything you can do in the snow.

“What about Brandon?” I ask.

“What about him?”

“Does he know you’re staying?”

“No, and don’t tell him!”

Brandon and I rarely speak at any length, so the odds of me letting this slip are slim to none. Fine, they’re none. Anyway, according to Connor, Shane invited him and Brandon to Texas to help out on his friend’s ranch. After that, things are up in the air.

As for me, I’ve got a plane to catch. We’ll finish up work tomorrow, and the day after I’ll take Pete and Lisa to town for their early-afternoon flights, then kill time while waiting for my own that evening.

Hank and Mary packed up their house as soon as the ink was dry and took their newfound money and freedom to Bali. At this point all that’s left are the ranch hands, the remaining kitchen/cabin staff, Alec and Mark, and two or three wranglers.

“Coming to O’Malley’s tomorrow for our going-away drinkfest?” Hailey asks.

“Yeah, why not?”

“Let’s dance those boys right out of our heads.”

“Dance?”

She laughs. “With a little help from Jose Cuervo.”

Jose Cuervo is a kind man. The only ranch hand at the bar is Connor, who seems to have taken an interest in Cassidy, as gross as that makes him. Mark has made a game out of it, insisting we all take a drink every time Cassidy shimmies her breasts in Connor’s face and he responds by tipping his head back and howling. Needless to say, everyone’s pretty drunk.

An old-school country song comes on, and everybody lines up to dance, hooking our thumbs in our belt loops and kicking up our heels.

“I’m going to miss you!” Hailey shouts over the music.

I look at her and smile. This is the best I’ve felt since my fight with Shane. It’s the first time I’ve been able to imagine myself coming back here year after year and not feeling awful and alone. Hailey has already promised to come back to work next summer, and while I don’t know how true that is, I certainly appreciate the gesture.

“I’ll miss you too!” I shout back. “Come visit me!”

“I’ll be working at a resort—you come visit me!”

I toss my head back and laugh just as Cassidy dances her way over. Hailey and I exchange a look, and I just barely resist an eye roll, pretending not to see Summer Skank sidle up to Mark. Hailey doesn’t need to speak to ask the question we’re both thinking:
Does Cassidy think I’m with Mark again? Really?

Even Mark appears to be on the same page, shooting me a questioning look. To mess with Cassidy I try to appear outraged, and he laughs. Then Hailey laughs too. Cassidy’s cheeks flush and she looks pissed, but when she tries to approach me, Connor cuts in and sweeps her away.

“Seriously?” Hailey asks, boot-scooting to the right.

“What’s left to take? The ranch?”

“Does she know you bought it?”

“Beats me.”

“You might need to hire bodyguards next summer. Accidents can happen in the mountains…when there’s no one around to hear you scream.”

I laugh again, tripping over my own feet but catching myself before I fall. “On that note,” I say, “I think I’ll head out.”

“What? Are you sure?”

“Yeah. I think I saw Randy outside. I’ll catch a ride with him.” A minute later I stumble out into the parking lot, hunt around for a patchy yellow Volkswagen, climb in, and stagger out again when Randy parks back at the ranch.

“Thanks!” I call, handing over a fistful of bills and waving goodbye.

Randy drives away, and I stand alone on the dirt road. The night is silent and warm and a thousand stars twinkle overhead. Behind me the lodge is dark, the paddock before me is empty.
This is mine
, I think. Followed promptly by,
What the hell was I thinking?
But even as my mind starts to race, I can’t help but smile. It’s mine.

As I turn toward my room, my boots crunching on gravel is the only sound. With Lisa and Hailey at O’Malley’s, the girls’ bunk is empty, and I don’t bother turning on any lights until I get to my room. I shut the door behind me, switch on the fan, and swap my going-out clothes—jeans and a tank top—for my pajamas: shorts and a different tank top. The window is already open, but I push it as far as it will go, letting the night air wash in and, okay, fine, risking a quick glance at Shane’s trailer: it’s dark. As far as I know, I’m completely alone on the ranch, which is also a fairly accurate description of how I feel about my new business venture.

It’s a little after midnight and I yawn, switch off the light, and crawl into bed. Now that I’m here, however, I can’t seem to fall asleep. I listen to the fan spin and remember my first night back, lying in Hank and Mary’s house with the fan turning and the window open and feeling like I was home. And now this place
is
my home, at least for one more night. Then I’ll leave again, like always.

Stanley once pointed out that I never talk about arriving someplace or being someplace, but always about leaving—like the visit never happened. I suppose that’s because when the time came, I’d always been ready to go. Sure, the departures were sometimes sad, but they were necessary. Only now I don’t feel that way. Like Stanley—
damn him
—keeps mentioning, for once I don’t have anywhere better to be.

Unfortunately I also have no reason to stay. And certainly no place to stay. As of tomorrow afternoon the water and electricity will be shut off, the horses and cattle will be taken elsewhere, and the ranch will be abandoned to the elements until spring.

I try to imagine myself living in Hank and Mary’s house, greeting the staff, signing checks, dealing with problems, being the boss. It’s a weirdly welcome feeling. I’m just starting to get drowsy when I hear something at the door. I jump as a knock sounds—two quick raps, close together.