Just One Reason (15 page)

Easing out from under Lindsay I brushed her hair off her face and kissed her forehead.  After finding my clothes I dressed and scrawled a quick note to
her.

Lindsay

An icy coldness encompassed me as I opened my eyes and realized Grady had left me alone.  It was only
6:00 am - he didn’t need to leave this early.  He left because he wanted to.  I thought we had finally turned a corner last night, but I guess I was wrong.

I
turned away from his empty side of the bed and pulled the covers tightly around me in an attempt to ward off the chills that were racking my body.  Tears slipped down my temples and soaked into my pillow as I huddled under the covers and stared at the ceiling.  Was this his way of hurting me like I had hurt him?  Leaving me like I had left him?  The questions swirled around in my head until I drifted back to sleep.

I didn’t feel any better later in the morning, and in fact I felt worse.  It wasn’t just my heart hurting, but my stomach as well.  I wasn’t
hungover, and I wasn’t on my period.  I got out of bed and threw on an old t-shirt and some pajama pants.  Rummaging around in Lana’s bathroom, I found a bottle of Ibuprofen and swallowed four with a glass of water.  That should take care of it, I thought, as I fell back into bed.

Lana was gone, so I didn’t have to work.  Leah was going home from the hospital today, so unless she called me I wouldn’t be seeing her.  There was nothing I wanted to do other than hide under the covers and go back to sleep.

I was awakened much later by sharp pain low in my stomach.  Looking at the clock I saw that it was late in the afternoon.  Had I slept all day?  What had been a dull ache earlier in the day was now rousing me from sleep.  And when I walked to the bathroom a sense of panic flashed through me as I remembered the one other time I had felt pain like this.  The pain subsided a bit and I rationalized that it wasn’t happening again - this had to be something else.

But whatever it was, it wasn’t good.  I pressed my palms on the cool tile of the countertop and looked at my reflection.  That wasn’t good either.  My pale face stared back at me and I pressed a hand to my stomach in an attempt to settle the nausea that was rolling through me.

No luck.  I had just enough time to lean over the toilet before I was heaving up everything in my stomach.  When it was over I ran a shaky hand over my mouth and slumped back against the wall, feeling achy and sweaty.  Maybe it was the flu or food poisoning?  No, I thought as the sharp pain returned.  Something worse.

Clutching my stomach and side I mentally ran through my options. 
Taryn was hours away.  Lana was even farther away in the middle of the ocean.  Leah and Josh were busy with Maddy.  Ford was most likely at work.  That left Grady.  No, I thought, pulling myself up with the help of the towel rack.  I would rather crawl to the hospital on my hands and knees than ask Grady for help.

I managed to brush my teeth and wash off my face.  Then I slipped on a pair of flip flops and grabbed my purse.  Normally I wouldn’t go out in public looking like hell, but right now I was just trying not to die.  Ever so slowly I made my way down the stairs and locked the front door behind me.

Shuffling along the front walk to my car, another wave of nausea hit me and I found myself wretching into the bushes.  There wasn’t much left in my stomach, but my body kept heaving regardless.  Shit.  I should’ve tied my hair back so I wouldn’t get vomit in it.  I was kneeling on the concrete trying to hold myself up and brush my hair back when suddenly Grady was there deftly pulling my hair back and holding it behind my head with one hand.  His other arm came around my waist to keep me somewhat upright.

“You’re okay.  I’ve got you,” he murmured near my ear.  He was the last person I had wanted to ask for help, but now that he was here, tremendous relief washed over me.  When my body calmed I struggled to stand, and Grady easily lifted me up ke
eping his arm around my waist.

“What’s going on, Lindsay?
  Are you okay?”  I opened my mouth to say I was fine, but the pain returned and I could only gasp and shake my head.

He pressed
the back of his hand to my forehead and then to my cheek.  “You’re burning up,” he said and his expression turned to worry.  “I’m taking you to the hospital.”

He effortlessly picked me up and carried me to my car, setting me carefully in the passenger seat.  I was trying to breathe through the pain, so he gently pulled the seatbelt around me and clicked it in place.  Taking my keys he shut the door and jogged around to the driver’s side.

The drive to the hospital was a short one, but Grady was constantly glancing in my direction and kept his right hand on my leg.  “Are you in pain?  When did this start?”

I whimpered, “Earlier today…I took a nap, but the pain woke me u
p…”

He frowned at me and demanded, “Were you going to drive yourself?  Why didn’t you call me?”

“You left this morning…” I chewed on my lip and shook my head.  This wasn’t the time to get into an argument with Grady.

For a moment he looked confused, and then he said, “Did you see my note?  I had to go to work, bu
t I was coming back, Lindsay.”

No, I hadn’t seen his note, which was why I was too pissed and hurt to call him when I needed someone. 
Closing my eyes I rested my head against the cool glass of the window.  I could feel his eyes on me, but he didn’t say anything else.  His hand stayed on my thigh, squeezing reassuringly.

When we arrived at the hospital, Grady pulled up underneath the overhang outside the Emergency Room and cut the engine.
  He was at my side in no time, unbuckling me and carrying me inside where a nurse met us with a wheelchair.  Apparently crying out in pain was a surefire way to skip to the front of the line, and she pushed me right back to an exam room. Grady followed us into the room and sat down in the chair next to the bed while the nurse helped me lay down.  She checked my vital signs and determined I was not actually dying.  Could’ve fooled me.

She settled at the computer and pulled up the patient intake program.  Glancing at Grady she as
ked, “I assume you’re family?”

Grady leaned forward and took my hand in his.  “Yup,” he said simply.  Grateful that he was here I squeezed his hand.  Not taking her eyes off the screen the nurse started asking me a series of questions.

“When did the pain begin?”

“This morning…but it was more like a dull ache then.”

“Where is the pain located in your abdomen?”

I pointed from my belly button to the
lower right side of my stomach. “Here.  In this area.”

“Any nausea or vomiting?”

“Yes.  Both.”

“
Dizzyness or fainting?”

I shook my head
. “No.”

“Any chance you could be pregnant?”

I swung my eyes to Grady, who was watching me intently.  “No.”

“Are you currently taking any medication?”

“No.”

“Any previous surgeries?”

Oh,
crap.  I knew it was important to tell the truth, so they had an accurate medical history.  But this was absolutely not how I wanted Grady to find out.  My anxiety level shot through the roof, and coupled with the pain, caused me to start shaking.  Grady noticed immediately and pulled the blanket over me, rubbing his hand over my arm.

The nurse looked over at me, still waiting for my answer. 
“Any previous surgeries?”  She asked again in a bored tone.  This situation was about to be anything but boring.

“Yes,” I whispered.

“What kind of surgery?”

The tears that had been gathered in my eyes from the constant pain in my stomach spilled over onto my cheeks.  This was it.  Grady was going to find out what I had kept from him for five years.  I turned my head away from him and spoke through trembling lips, “I had surgery for …
an…an ectopic pregnancy.”

Grady’s hand tightened on mine and I could feel his eyes boring into me, but I didn’t look at him.  The nurse said nothing and just typed this earth shattering information into the computer as if it were no big deal.

“Date of surgery?  Month and year.”

I heard Grady suck in a breath
and he squeezed my hand tighter, waiting on my answer that could change everything.  I turned my head back toward Grady and locked my eyes on his as I spoke quietly, “October 2006.”

He exhaled the breath he was holding and closed his eyes.  “Fuck,” he muttered.  When he opened his eyes, they were full of pain.
  Reliving this with him was almost more than I could bear.  I was full out sobbing now, and the nurse took that as an increase in my pain level.

“I’ll get the doctor in here to examine you, and then we can get some pain medication started.”  I didn’t tell her the only pain I was feeling
right now was in my heart, and there was nothing that could take that away.

When she left
, Grady leaned forward and dropped his head into his hands.  His shoulders were tense, and he was shaking his head slowly back and forth like he was in disbelief.  He was silent for so long, and I had no idea what he was thinking.  There was more that I needed to tell him, but the doctor came in before I could.

He wa
shed his hands and said to Grady, “You can wait right outside while I examine Miss Ross.  It shouldn’t take very long.”

Grady stood up, shoving his hands through his hair and stalked out of the room without looking at me.  The doctor was young and friendly, though I couldn’t focus on anything he was doing.  He asked some of the same questions as the nurse about my symptoms
, and after a pelvic exam and pushing on my stomach he declared that I most likely had appendicitis.  I would have a CT scan to confirm and then be prepped for surgery.

When I left I could hear him talking to Grady
outside the door.  But Grady didn’t return to my room, and I curled on my side and cried while I waited for the nurse to come back.  It wasn’t long before I was taken up to Imaging for the CT scan.  Grady was nowhere to be seen, and I feared that he had left.  I could only imagine what he thought of me now.  He probably thought I had broken up with him because of the pregnancy, but that couldn’t be farther from the truth.  The secret I had held inside for five years desperately needed to come out, but Grady was gone and I was about to go into surgery.

The radiologist read my scan immediately and confirmed I would need an appendectomy.  I was then taken to the surgery prep area and the nurse started an IV of fluids and pain meds.  It took the edge off the pain in my stomach, but my heart was still breaking.

I closed my eyes, but I couldn’t get the image of Grady’s pained expression out of my mind.

Warm fingers brushed the hair from my forehead and trailed down my cheek, and I opened my eyes to Grady sitting beside me once again.

He smiled crookedly at me, but I could still see the hurt in his eyes.  “Why didn’t you tell me, Lindsay?  I would have been there for you.  I deserved to know,” he said softly.  I couldn’t speak over the lump in my throat.

He continued, “The doctor told me you need surgery.  I called
Taryn to let her know.  She will be here first thing in the morning.”

He paused and cleared his throat, “Lindsay. 
Taryn was surprised to hear you were having your appendix out.  She said she thought you already had your appendix out…five years ago…She didn’t know, did she?”

I shook my head
. “Nobody knew.  Just my mom, and she made sure to keep it quiet.”  I couldn’t keep the bitterness out of my voice.

Grady glanced at the IV in my
arm.  “Are you still in pain?”

“No, the meds really took the edge off.”

He nodded and asked cautiously, “Can you tell me what happened?  Please?”  He begged and his eyes pleaded with me to tell him the truth.

I nodded.  It was time he knew everything.  It was way past time.  I reached my ha
nd out and he took it in both of his, kissing the back of my hand gently.

With a deep breath I started, “I didn’t even know I was pregnant.  My periods had never been regular and I just hadn’t been paying attention.  I was too busy being sad about being away from you.”  I looked up at him, needing him to believe th
at I never stopped loving him.

“I missed you terribly, Grady.  One night I started having stomach pain that quickly got much worse.  My mom took me to the hospital and they discovered I was pregnant and that the baby had implanted in the fallopian tube.  It had grown
too big and the fallopian tube had ruptured.  It was serious and I was rushed into surgery immediately.”

I paused to take a few more deep breaths and Grady reached over to wipe the tears off my cheeks.  There were tears in his eyes as well as I continued.  “When I woke up from surgery my mom was there and she was pissed.  She told me that the doctors had to remove the damaged fallopian tube and there
would be a lot of scarring, so it was highly unlikely I would ever be able to get pregnant again.  Before I could even process that, she went on to tell me she had called Lana.  She knew about you, and she said if I didn’t break it off with you she would have you charged with statutory rape.”  Grady’s expression immediately changed to one of intense anger.  “She said she would make sure you spent time in prison.”