Just One Week (Just One Song) (18 page)

My breath catches as Chase reaches for my arm once it’s time for us to follow Zack and Nicole back up the house.

Right as we start walking, he leans down and presses a quick kiss on my temple. “You are so gorgeous.”

My eyes flicker to Melody. I don’t miss the slight wink she gives me as she notices the affection Chase gives me.

I smile and murmur, “thank you,” almost shyly, which makes Chase laugh.

I feel nervous with everyone’s eyes on us as we walk up to the patio. I have my hand wrapped around Chase’s forearm and he’s not touching me anywhere else as we head up the wooden stairs, but the tension between us is inexplicable.

The reception has been absolutely incredible. There are only about thirty people, milling around and dancing to the live band. It’s a band called “Flayed Alive” and they’re also the opening band for their upcoming tour. Zack is convinced they’re the ‘next big thing.’ I think it’s funny watching them play for Zack Walters.

For a moment I have to fight my own sadness and jealousy when I watch them. I don’t even know them, but the excitement in their eyes says everything. They all look a little bit star struck and you can tell that their most unfathomable dreams are coming true right before their eyes.

Mine, however, are slipping through my fingers with every breath I take and as I watch everything going on around me, I can’t help but wonder if I’ll ever feel that sense of excitement and accomplishment again.

Zack and Nicole haven’t been more than six inches apart for the entire night except for the dances where Zack danced with his mom, sister, and new mother-in-law. Nicole used the time to dance with all the band members. It almost made me wish my brother, Elijah, was here. He is as much of a brother to Nicole as he is to me, but he’s finishing up prosecuting a case in Minneapolis and couldn’t make it.

Garrett and Chloe are just as inseparable as Nic and Zack, and even Sammy and Jake have danced a few times. Apparently they’re working out whatever issues they’ve had, even though Sammy looks much more guarded than normal. I can’t say I blame her.

There’s so much love in the air and it’s choking me. I drain my glass of champagne and quietly make my way inside, saying hello and excuse me, as I weave through the small crowd and wait staff that is walking around with champagne.

Once inside, I quickly make my way to my private bathroom and sit down on the toilet, my head dropping into the palm of my hands.

What is wrong with me? I have no idea what’s going on in my head as my blood races through my veins. It was only a week ago where I felt like I had everything I needed, but being here around Nicole and spending more time with Chase has me questioning everything.

My mind is flooded with reminders of Chase over the last week and our date to the Riverwalk in Napa. And yet, as much as I keep trying to see a happily ever after with him, my mind always returns to my father, passed out on a living room couch with an empty glass next to him. Or visions of my mother, bone thin in the hospital bed in her master bedroom, with silent tears falling down her cheeks as she realized she was going to die and leave her children with a man who had disappeared so far into himself there was no help for his own healing.

I see Nicole, when for months after Mark’s death she wore his old t-shirts and ratty yoga pants, and slept with Andrew’s baby blanket - forgetting to shower and eat, purple circles under her blood shot eyes as she mourned her losses.

And yet, I see Marcia, with photos of her husband and teenage sons in New York, married for twenty years and you can still see how much they love each other whenever they’re around one another.

I see my mom’s parents. My grandparents were happily married for over fifty years before my grandma died. My grandpa didn’t shed a tear at her funeral and when I asked him why, he pressed his wrinkled hand into mine and squeezed it. His smile was genuine when he said, “Loving people isn’t easy, and there’s always pain, but she gave me sixty years of the happiest days of my life and there’s no way I wouldn’t have risked the pain to miss out on the good.” He passed away in his sleep just a few days later, and I smiled through my tears knowing they were creating more memories. They’re proof that maybe love can work. Proof that it doesn’t always in disaster.

I have no idea how long I sit in the dark bathroom with the door locked when I hear a slight knocking on the door. I know it’s Chase, because no one else would come to this bathroom.

He smiles at me once I turn on the lights and open the door. He looks incredible in his linen pants and white dress shirt with the sleeves rolled up past his elbows. I have never seen Chase in anything other than jeans, but the preppy look makes him look fantastic.

“You okay?”

My mind flashes one more time with the words of my grandpa and I realize he may have been right. For the first time in my life, I think the man standing in front of me may be worth the risk of the pain. This man has known me for two years and I’ve let him closer than anyone else in my life besides Nic and Elijah. He’s seen my pain and my fears, he’s comforted me more than one time, and even though I block him out and try to push him away, he’s never walked away. He’s a man who will stand by my side and be my strength when I need it.

I try smiling and showing Chase everything he means to me without saying the words I know he desperately wants to hear. His concern lightens and he reaches for my hand when I see that he understands.

“I’m good,” I say firmly, but quietly. I feel as confident as I sound.

Chase leads me back outside without asking anything. I’m sure there are a dozen questions in his head as he leads me to the dance floor and holds me close to him. I can see his mouth open and quickly close as we dance, and I know he wants to ask me what brought on my sudden confidence. But I don’t say anything. Instead, I let him hold on to me, dance after dance, until the reception is over. We don’t speak a single word, but I know we both feel what the other isn’t saying.

I want you.

I trust you.

I might love you.

I know I love you.

But I don’t say them, and neither does Chase, and in a way, I’m thankful for the silence. I’m thankful for the night where I can just let someone in, let someone love me so completely that words aren’t necessary. I feel everything he wants to say and everything he feels in the way his hands touch me and hold me and in the look of his eyes as we fall asleep together.

I don’t know what has changed with Mia the last few days, but I saw the minute it did in that darkened bathroom the night of Zack’s wedding reception. She looked a little bit guarded during the wedding, and even sadder during the reception. When she took off from the dance floor while I danced with Melody, I wanted to follow her, but Melody held my hands firmly and told me to let her go.

When she wasn’t back in thirty minutes, I decided she’d had enough space for one night. In thirty minutes, and alone in the house, she could have packed her bags and been on her way to the airport for all I knew.

When that thought gave me a pain in my chest that I couldn’t rub away with the palm of my hand, I knew I had to check on her.

What I wasn’t expecting to see when she opened the door to the bathroom, though, was the look of peace and love she showed when she smiled at me. She fucking loves me. It took everything in me to not swing her up into the air and then down on the bed and take her right there. But I didn’t. I did need my hands on her though. So I pulled her out onto the dance floor and refused to let go of her for the rest of the night.

It might make me a pussy, but I didn’t want to let go and have something happen that changed her mind. I also wanted to ask her. I had a dozen questions to ask her. When did she realize she loved me? What happened? Where is her fear? What changed her mind?

But I was smart enough to keep my mouth shut and I’ve done a good job over the last couple of days while we’ve had Zack’s house to ourselves of just enjoying our time together.

But it all changes today because I have something to show her and I want the answers. I also want more from her and I’m only hoping I can convince her that it’s the best thing. It might be fast, but we’ve known each other for years.

First though, I need to find her. I climb out of the empty bed, surprised that Mia is awake and out of bed before me. That never happens. I throw on my favorite worn pair of jeans and a plain black t-shirt and head out to find the woman I love.

Who loves me back.

I’ll get her to admit it to me before the day is over.

When I reach the living room, I can see her outside curled up in a lounge chair on the patio with a cup of juice held between both of her hands. She’s wearing a short robe that barely hits the tops of the thighs and if she threw that on when she woke up, it means she’s only wearing underwear underneath it, or nothing.

The thought makes me groan as I walk to the kitchen and get my own cup of coffee before heading outside to talk to her. If I don’t take a minute to get myself under control, I might take her on the chair outside. But that will delay my plans for us, so coffee it is.

“Hey babe,” I say to her as I slide open the back doors. Mia turns to me and I watch as she looks me over from head to toe. I love it when she checks me out like this. I can practically see her heart speed up whenever she gets to my jeans. For some reason my old ratty jeans turn her on.

“Good morning,” she says softly and lays her head back on the chair, grinning softly.

It takes everything in me to not scoop her up, unwrap her tiny robe, and sink into her right then. I love how her blonde hair is messy and spread out all over her shoulders and the tan skin she’s gotten since she’s been here.

She looks so much more relaxed after a week in California than she did when I showed up at her apartment building. I hope she never wants to leave.

I take a sip of my coffee and nod my head inside. “Go get dressed. I want to take you somewhere today.”

Her eyebrows jump up to her hairline and she presses her lips together. “Where?” She’s trying to act like she doesn’t care, but I see the flash of her excitement in her eyes. God, this girl can go through at least ten different emotions in a span of seconds. I love it.

“I’ll tell you when we get there. Now get moving.”

“Awfully bossy today, are we?” But she climbs out of the chair anyway. Her robe falls open a little and I see the space in between her breasts. I hiss in a breath through my teeth when I see it, wanting to press my lips against her skin. I clear my throat as she walks by me, pressing up against me intentionally, but pretending she has to in order to get through the door.

I grab the belt on her robe and pull it quickly so her robe opens completely.

Shit. She is naked underneath, and I’m instantly hard as all the blood in my body falls south of my waist. I grab her around the waist and press myself against her.

Why do I always feel like I just won a fucking gold medal when I hear her moan like this?

Without letting her go, I walk her backwards carefully, holding my coffee mug out to the side so I don’t spill it on her. She doesn’t take her eyes from mine as I press her against the wall of windows and then lean down and kiss her lips, slowly moving further down until she shivers in my arm.

“God you’re so sexy,” I whisper against her skin and her hand goes to my head, holding me in place. As if I want to move away from this sexy woman who loves me, even though she can’t say it.

“I thought you wanted me to get dressed.” Her voice is all breathy as she rubs against me. I keep my lips pressed against her, going lower until I suck one of her perfectly pink nipples into my mouth. “Chase …”

I pop my mouth off her nipple, knowing she’s as turned on as me, and take a step back with a knowing grin on my face.

“I almost forgot.” I nod my head inside. “Thanks for reminding me. You have twenty minutes.”

“Wha …” I almost start laughing when I see the dazed look in her eyes. “What?”

It’s taking everything I have in me to not take her right here on the deck. But I can’t. Today is too important and I’m already nervous as hell at what she’s going to do or say when she sees where I’m taking her.