Just Perfect (17 page)

“Congratulations, Ms. Young.”  The handsome young doctor
beamed.

Lily sat on the exam table.  The day after she left Sam's
house she made an appointment for confirmation.  However, after a positive home
pregnancy test and another bout of morning sickness, there was no doubt.

“Thank you.”  Her lips trembled as she tried to smile.

“Have you started prenatal vitamins?”

“N-no, I haven't.  I'll start right away.”

“I can write you a prescription or you can buy some over the
counter.

Shame filled her.  She didn't have health insurance.  How
would she get through this?

“Um..I'll pick some up today at the drug store.”

He gave her an understanding look.  He seemed so kind.  It
was no wonder Candace liked working here.  The office was calm and quiet.  She
didn't see her friend in the office and hoped she didn't.  Since Candace
scanned documents, it was just a matter of time before she saw Lily's
paperwork.  Knowing her, she wouldn't ask any questions, though.

“I think I have some samples.  I'll have the nurse give them
to you when you check out.”

He gave her a few more instructions before sending her to check
out.  She had to pay cash for the visit and it was taken out of the money she
set aside for cake ingredients.  Now, she had to cancel cake orders and she wouldn't
be able to make the money back.

She sat in her car for a long while.  How would she tell
Johnathan and her mom?  Lily hadn't been this scared since her dad died.

A baby.  She never thought it would happen for her again. 
Not like this anyway.  How could Sam do this to her?  Why didn't he tell her
about the condom?  Should she have known it broke?  What did Sam have to gain
from this?  So many questions swirled in her head.  It never crossed her mind
Sam would behave irresponsibly.  He didn't seem like that kind of guy.  But,
what did she know about men?  Both times she was with one she got pregnant.
This was starting to become a pattern.

Her phone buzzed in the passenger seat signaling a text.

Sam.
“We need to talk.”

It pissed her off that he was bossing her around by text. 
She wanted to tell him where he could shove it but he would show up at her
house.  She had absolutely no idea how to handle him right now.  The broken
condom wasn't his fault.  But him not telling her was. 

Her phone rang. Sam. 

“Hello?”

“Why haven't you answered? Are you okay?”

“What do you want, Sam?” She snapped.

“Where are you?”

She sighed. “I just left the doctor’s office.”

“Why? What's wrong? What doctor?”  He demanded.

“I was getting a pregnancy test,” she said flatly unmoved by
his concern.

“And?” He prompted.

“I'm pregnant, Sam, but I think you already knew that.”

“We need to talk.”

“I don't want to talk to you right now.”

“That's too bad, Lily.  We're having a baby.”

Tears filled her eyes. “What do you want?  I can't give you
much, I'm all tapped out.”

His voice lowered. “I just want to talk, Lily.”

She wanted to run to him and have him hold her and tell her
everything was going to be okay.  The only problem with that was he's the one
that caused this mess.  She felt a pang of guilt having referred to a baby as
an unwanted mess.  She wanted more children, she just never thought it would
happen for her again.  And certainly not in this way. 

She gritted her teeth.  She was so angry he put her in this
position.  Lily loved and hated him.  It was an unfamiliar feeling.

“Sam, please give me some time.  I don't think you realize
how this changes my life.  I need time to talk to Johnathan and my mom.”

“It's not just your life. It's mine too.”

“And Johnathan's.”

“And Johnathan's,” he agreed, “just talk to me.”

She closed her eyes and rubbed her forehead.  An ache formed
behind her eyes. “Just for a minute.”

“I'll meet you at my house in fifteen minutes.”

“No! The diner.”  She didn't feel like being alone with him
right now.  Was this feeling wrong?

“It's a private conversation, Lily.  We're not having it in
public.”  see you in a few minutes.”  Then he was gone.

“His way or no way,” she mumbled with a glare at her phone.

Lily gave herself a pep talk, or more of a scolding, all the
way to Sam's.  She wasn't going to let him order her around today. 
She
was going to tell
him
how it was going to be and that she needed time
away from him to figure out a plan.

With a deep breath, she pulled up to his house.  He was
already standing in the doorway waiting for her.  He was so tall and
self-assured. What was it like to have control of your life?  To be able to
handle things that came your way?  At that moment, she hated that he could
control his life without being scared.  Not only his life but hers as well.

He motioned to her. “Come in, Lily.”

“You're not cooking anything in there are you?” She wasn't
sure yet what set her stomach off except coffee and pancakes.  This morning
they had cereal and last night, chicken soup.

He shook his head. “Are you hungry?”

“No.  I just have a sensitive stomach right now.”  She
walked past him through the door.

“Did you have any of these symptoms when you were pregnant
with Johnathan?”

She thrust her chin in the air.  Was he criticizing her
because she didn't realize she was pregnant before he did?  That stung.  “Yes,
but I was seventeen.  My whole body was a hormonal mess.  And I didn't realize
it was something I should be expecting. My periods haven't been normal these
last several months.”

His lips twitched. “Come sit down.”

“Please.”  He never asked.  He always ordered.

“What?”

“Would it hurt you to say please once in a while?” 

He stared at her for several heartbeats.  Finally, he rubbed
his hand over his beard, “I don't know, but I'll give it a try,” he drawled, “
please
,
have a seat.”

Her face heated as she sat on the recliner.  Somehow, it
didn't sound any less like an order.  Actually, it sounded more like and order
and
a reprimand.

“I don't have much time.”

He raised a dark eyebrow at her, “You have two hours before
Johnathan gets off the bus.”

“I have other things to do, Sam.”  She lied, hating that he
knew her regular schedule.

“Nothing more important than this.”

Lily shot to her feet. “You said you wanted to talk not
lecture me.”  She clenched her fists on her hips.  “In fact, I should be the
one lecturing you.  You're the one who-”

“Stop!”

She fell silent.

He pointed to the chair. “Sit down and listen to me.”

Throwing a glare at him, she sat on the edge of the chair,
ready to bolt if she had to. This is not going like she promised herself,
he
was going to listen to
her.

He leaned forward and rested his elbows on his knees. “The
condom broke,” he began, “I,
we
, can't change that.  We just have to
deal with it now.

She threw her hands in the air, “You were unbelievable! You
can't even apologize for this!”

His blue eyes flashed at her and a tingle went up her
spine. 

“Why haven't you apologized, Sam?”

“I'm not sorry,” he said slowly, enunciating each word.

Lily's body started to shake. “Did you do this on purpose?”

With a determination that made her stomach roll, he pinned
her with a hard gaze. “I think I might have.”

“W-why?  You knew things were hard for us right now.  Why
would you do this?”  she blinked back tears.  He always seemed so understanding
about her situation.  Always encouraging, telling her everything would be okay.

His eyes softened. “I want you, Lily.”

“You had me!”  She cried. “I thought we were in a
relationship!”

“We
are
in a relationship.  The condom broke.” He
explained and rubbed the back of his neck.  It was the only sign of conscience
and somehow that small gesture made her hate him a little less. “I didn't tell
you because I hoped you ended up pregnant.”

“You didn't try to get me pregnant?”

“No. I didn’t break the condom on purpose.”

“Well, thanks for that.”  Why didn't he just start a
relationship with her?  Why get her pregnant?  She stood up.

“We're not done yet.” He stood up with her. “We need to talk
about the baby.”

She instinctively put a hand on her stomach. “The doctor
said I'm four weeks along.  I'm healthy, so he doesn't anticipate any
problems.  I have another appointment after Thanksgiving.”  She rubbed her
clammy hands on her jeans. “He gave me some prenatal vitamins and said to try
to keep a little something in my stomach to help with nausea.”

Sam folded his muscular arms across his chest. “Do you have
health insurance?”

Her face reddened. “No. I have some things to figure out.”

“Marry me.  I can take care of you and Johnathan.  Your mom
too.”

His suggestion didn't surprise her.  He did say he wanted
her pregnant, after all.  He didn't love her, just wanted a family.

“I need time, Sam.  I have a lot to deal with right now. 
The closing is next week and we need to find a house.” She certainly wasn't
ready to tie herself to him.

“If you marry me you won't have to worry about any of that,
Lily.  Let me take care of you.”

She hugged her waist.  “Just give me time.  I'll call in a
few weeks when we're settled in a new place.”

He took a step closer and tipped her chin up to meet his
eyes.  “You're having my baby.  I can’t stand by and watch you struggle.  I
won't let that happen.”

She knew he wouldn't.  Overwhelmed with worry, the tears she
was holding back spilled over. “You just want a baby, don't you, Sam?  I was an
easy target.”  Her body went numb.  Would he try to take her baby if she didn't
marry him?  She didn't have the most stable life compared to him.  He was an
established business owner and she was a single mom who baked cakes out of her
house and had a mountain of debt.

“I caused this.  I'm going to make sure you're provided
for.  I do want a family with you.  But I won't force you to marry me and I
won't try to take the baby from you. I think we could be happy together though.”

“Please give me a little time.” A tight sensation threatened
to close her throat.  “I promise I'll consider it.”

He looked like he wanted to argue but instead he pulled her
to his chest and just held her.  More tears welled up and a sob escaped.  She
was unable to find the energy to fight him when he scooped her up in his arms
and sat on the couch settling her on his lap.  He caressed her body and hair
while she cried.

After she calmed, his big hand spanned her stomach. He
chuckled when it chose that moment to growl demandingly.

“We better get something in your stomach.”

“I'm going to have lunch with Mom when I get home and tell
her about the baby.”  She needed to get out of here.  It felt way too good to
be in his arms.

“Do you want me to go with you?”  His hand was so big, his
fingertips brushed the underside of her sensitive breasts.

“No. I'll tell her alone.”  She grabbed his thick wrist to
stop his movements. 

“Do you hurt?”  One long finger touched her breast lightly. 

“A little,” she admitted. 

His voice grew deeper and she felt his arousal grow under
her thigh.  “Is there something I can do to help?”

Her body heated and her breasts swelled. “No.  I'm all right.” 
Lily said pushing herself off his lap.  “I need to get going.”  Things were
different between them now.  The excitement of their relationship bled into
uncertainty, worry and distrust. 

“I'll come by the house tonight after work.”

“I need time to think.”

“Don't overthink.  It doesn't have to be difficult for us.”

“Stop!”  She felt bullied.  Why wouldn't he just let her
have room to think or even breathe? “Please, just give me space.  I have so
much going on right now and now this.” 

“I can take care of you.  I'm not rich, but I've got enough
that you won't have to worry anymore.”

He made it sound so reasonable.  She read romance books
about the hero coming to save the heroine from her problems.  Unfortunately,
this didn't feel anything like those stories.  Sam didn't confess undying love
for her.  “I'll call you soon, alright?”

He clenched his jaw and his eyes followed her to the door. 
The conversation obviously hadn't gone the way he wanted.  “I want to hear from
you in a few days.”

“You can't control when I call you, Sam.” 

“You need help, Lily.  I'm not going to sit around why you
worry and struggle.”

“I was worrying and struggling before and was handling it
fine.”  She snapped. “You made it worse.”

He nodded his head. “Yes, I did.  Now I'm going to fix it.”

She threw her hand up, “It doesn't work like that!”

He actually looked confused. “Why?”

“Because this is a shock to me, and I feel betrayed by
you.”  Lily groaned and grabbed her purse.  She paused and turned back to him.
“I was really starting to care about you, Sam.  Now I feel like maybe I was
just lonely and rushed into a relationship with you and ignored the signs.”

“What signs?'

“Oh, I don't know.  Maybe that you're the kind of man who
would get me pregnant without caring about how I feel about it?”

“How
do
you feel about it?”  He asked ignoring her
outburst.

“I'm scared!”

He nodded again. “I can fix that.”

“You're missing the point and I'm leaving.” She jerked the
door open.

“Lily?” His deep voice stopped her, but she didn't turn
around.

“I'll give you until Thanksgiving if you let me know if you
need anything or if there is a problem with you or the baby.”