Just Stay (36 page)

Seb swallows hard, trying to focus.

"Very observant of you," he says, his words only a breath. Damn it, he's so turned on right now, it's ridiculous. And Evan moving his hand down to his crotch isn't exactly helping.

Evan smiles against his mouth, moving in closer and pressing himself against Seb's body. He's fully dressed, wearing sweatpants and a t-shirt, and it makes Seb feel even more exposed, in contrast.

"Can't help it," Evan murmurs. "It's hard to miss."

Seb lets out something like a low moan, as Evan slips his hand underneath the towel, smoothing up along the bare skin of Seb's thigh. It's close to embarrassing, but Seb is already hard, unexpectedly so, and Evan has definitely noticed.

"You know," Evan murmurs, and Seb closes his eyes, as Evan's mouth ends up somewhere by his ear. "I can't stop thinking about last night."

He kisses Seb's throat, slowly, and Seb shivers.

"You felt so good, baby," Evan continues, voice low and husky. "So good."

Seb can practically feel his heartbeat pounding in his ears―and in other, certain parts of his body―and he absently grabs Evan's t-shirt, gripping it tight. Evan is hard too, he can feel it, can feel it through the layers of cotton that make up the towel and those sweatpants, and he suddenly, desperately, wants them gone.

As though Evan can read his mind, he tugs at the towel, just enough to make it come undone and fall to the kitchen floor. Seb barely notices. Instead, all he notices is Evan's mouth, as it moves together with his, that tongue, as it smoothes along his bottom lip, before sliding into his mouth.

Seb barely has time to react, before Evan slowly pulls away and moves downward, and he has just barely opened his eyes, before he feels Evan suddenly swallow him down.

Seb gasps, and looks down. Evan is on his knees, one hand smoothing over the bare skin of Seb's thighs and stomach and hip bones, while he uses his mouth to make Seb moan and pant and make all kinds of embarrassing sounds.

Seb is vaguely aware, and equally surprised, to find that Evan is still holding his hand. He still hasn't let go, and somehow, Seb likes that. It feels like some kind of anchor, like some out of place, but simultaneously completely perfect thing to do.

It doesn't take long before Seb is moaning loudly, his free hand pulling fingers through Evan's hair, before he reluctantly moves it to the counter's edge, behind him. He can barely stand, at this point, and he needs the support, so he opts for slightly thrusting his hips forward, instead, just enough for Evan to take the hint and keep going with a whole new fervor.

When Seb comes, it's with a shudder that leaves him feeling nearly paralyzed, and he has to physically, very consciously, keep himself from falling over.

Evan is there in a matter of seconds, though, standing up and practically catching him in his arms. He chuckles lightly, as Seb struggles to open his eyes.

"You okay, babe?" he asks, and Seb swallows dryly.

"I hate you," he musters, and Evan smiles as he plants a kiss on his mouth, a kiss that Seb reciprocates without question.

"Well," Evan says, sounding just slightly amused, and he squeezes Seb's hand, which he is still holding in his own. "We're gonna have to work on that, aren't we?"

Chapter 22

Move

Seb isn't entirely sure what it is, but somehow, he and Evan always seem to find their way back to each other. Despite their fights never really being earth-shatteringly big, it always catches him slightly by surprise, in some weird way, whenever they manage to get over their differences and make up.

This latest fight was pretty huge, though, and Seb really thought that it would be the end. He felt as though it was something that neither of them would ever be able to make it through, despite how much they loved each other.

He has never been happier to be wrong.

Things slowly go back to normal, after Evan's return, as though both of them decided that dwelling on the whole thing was pointless. Instead, they appreciate the fact that they actually talked about it, sorted it out, and effectively chose each other over all the bullshit. And it feels good. It feels safe, and Seb has never really felt so sure and secure about the whole relationship, before. He has always been happy with Evan, but this is different. This is strong, final.

Jake and Sophie seem happy about the whole thing, too (no surprise, there), and Evan actually even relents and lets Seb invite them over for dinner. It's not like they have never been at their place before, but an actual, proper dinner is something that hasn't been done yet. Sophie calls it a double-date, but mostly to tease Evan, who seems to find the whole thing cheesy and unbearably cozy, much to Seb's amusement.

It's all in good fun, though, and Evan even cooks that night, pulling off one of his somewhat surprising, culinary miracles.

"So, what's the plan?" Evan asks, as they all sit at Seb's and Evan's kitchen table. "After graduation."

Sophie is graduating soon, although Jake still has a while left to go with his studies, and Sophie seems to mull over the question, as she sips some red wine from her glass. Seb and Evan never really drink red wine, or wine at all, for that matter, but Sophie and Jake brought some, for the occasion. Seb is vaguely reminded of their housewarming, when Evan brought a six pack, and Seb offered to get the two of them a man-sized cactus.

"Well," Sophie says, swirling the wine around in her glass a bit. "I've got an offer from a free clinic. It doesn't pay that much, but it's for a good cause."

"What," Evan says, raising his eyebrows teasingly, "and leave Jake to fend for himself? Poor guy can barely keep it together, as it is."

Jake glares at him, but with a small smile creeping into his expression.

"Gee, thanks, Evan," he says, eyes narrowed. "That means a lot."

Evan just laughs at him, taking a drink from his own wine glass, a sight that looks somehow odd and simultaneously natural, and Seb can't help but roll his eyes a bit.

"Would you stop it?" Sophie laughs, shoving Jake playfully, as he sits right next to her. "Both of you. I know that a small paycheck isn't exactly ideal, but I'm not exactly becoming a nurse to get rich, either. I want to help people."

"An admirable cause," Evan says in mock, formal seriousness, while raising his glass in a small toast. "Who needs money, anyway?"

Sophie just glares at him affectionately, and Evan winks at her, before taking another sip of wine.

"You're gonna do great," Jake says to his girlfriend, giving her a light kiss. "I know it."

Sophie doesn't reply, simply smiles at him, and Seb can't help but smile, as he sees it. He likes this, likes having them all together, having dinner and talking about completely ordinary, non-heavy things. It feels good, and he discreetly reaches under the table to place his hand on Evan's leg, rubbing his thumb gently against the rough fabric of his jeans. And Evan turns to him, giving him that small, Seb-reserved smile, while covering Seb's hand with his own and lacing their fingers together. And for a night, everything is perfect.

♦

Weeks go by, filled with studies and school, Evan still working part-time at that pub. Seb ends up getting a part-time job at the same place, when someone else quits, which although lands him mostly with shifts that don't coincide with Evan's. They would both leap at the opportunity to get to actually work at the same time, which is both good and bad.

It's undoubtedly more fun, but it also kind of slows down their productivity, sometimes. One night, when both of them are working, Evan spends most of his time blatantly flirting with Seb, winking and smiling at him, leaning in and so-not-at-all-accidentally brushing his lips against his jaw, letting his hand slide down over Seb's ass, whispering things in his ear so discreetly that no one else notices.

It drives Seb completely crazy, and eventually, they end up in the men's room, door locked and hands all over each other. Evan gets Seb off right then and there, with Seb simultaneously returning the favor, their mouths fused together as they touch, to keep them both from moaning too loudly.

It's so wildly, insanely hot, and nearly costs Evan his job. Not that either of them seems to care.

Evan gets a few more gigs, albeit very small ones, gradually building a rather local fan base. And Seb is there, every time, along with Jake and Sophie, who show up to support Evan as often as they can.

Neither Seb nor Evan have brought up Evan's father again. Seb carefully asked Jake about it, and he sadly admitted that their father has talked to him, making it clear how he doesn't want to speak to Evan, anymore. And Jake stood up for his brother, causing a bit of a rift between him and their father. But Peter Matthews seems to have a soft spot for his youngest son; he's still talking to Jake, even if he won't talk to Evan. And Evan doesn't seem to want to talk to him, anyway. So Seb, along with Jake, feels it might be best to just leave it alone, at least for the foreseeable future.

It's almost two months after the big fight, almost two months since their relationship seemed to reach a new level, somehow, that Seb and Evan are just enjoying a night in. It's not like they rarely do this, but especially after the past couple of weeks, with an extra heavy workload from school, and both of them still working part-time at the pub, this is a welcome break.

They're sitting on the couch in the living room, half-empty paper containers of Chinese takeout on the table, and Seb is drowsing to the sounds of
Die Hard
, playing on the TV. He sighs tiredly and leans his head against Evan's shoulder, almost snuggling up against him, and Evan chuckles.

"What?" he says. "John McClane not doing it for you?"

Seb hums in thought.

"Oh, no," he assures him drowsily, closing his eyes and moving Evan's arm so that it rests over his shoulders. "He's a real stud. A beefcake."

Evan laughs, louder this time.

"Beefcake?" he says doubtfully, and Seb hums in confirmation.

"Yeah," he says, feeling himself starting to drift off. "Watch out for that competition."

Evan just chuckles softly, planting a soft kiss in Seb's hair.

"I will," he says. "Can't have you running off with him, now can I?"

"I might," Seb murmured. "Won't make any promises."

He inhales the wonderful scent of Evan―laundry detergent, warmth, faded leather―and he feels Evan's arm tighten around him slightly. For several seconds, neither of them speaks.

Seb has almost fallen asleep, by the time Evan says anything.

"Marry me," he says, and Seb makes a small, tired noise of confirmation.

"Sure thing," he says, eyes still closed. "After the movie."

He expects Evan to chuckle, to reply, anything. But he doesn't make a sound, and Seb slowly opens his eyes. Evan is looking straight ahead, at the TV, and he looks strangely tense, jaw working.

"Evan?" Seb says, quickly waking up, and Evan turns to him. Seb lifts his head properly from his shoulder, so that they can see each other's eyes.

"Marry me," Evan says again. He looks somehow terrified and determined, at the same time. Seb just stares at him.

"You serious?" he finally says, his tone more disbelieving than he intended, and Evan just keeps his eyes on him. He doesn't answer, but his silence is answer enough.

And Seb's throat suddenly goes dry.

"Are you proposing to me?" he asks, his voice oddly weak and unsure, reflecting the awkwardness he suddenly feels.

"Yes, I am." Evan's voice is, by contrast, completely certain, albeit scared. "I'm proposing to you."

Seb just keeps staring at him, his mind completely blank.

Then his defense mechanism kicks in.

"In front of Chinese takeout and
Die Hard,
" he says lightly, some sarcasm in his voice. "Quite the romantic, aren't you?"

But then Evan shakes his head.

"No," he says, his tone completely serious. "No, just..."

He looks at Seb, exhales slowly.

"Just for once, Seb," he says. "Just for once. No sarcasm, no smart-ass comments. No bullshit."

He keeps his gaze on Seb's blue eyes, unwavering.

"No dodging," he says. "Just give me a straight answer."

Seb inhales slowly, steadily.

"Evan―"

"How about I phrase it as a question," Evan says. "Will you marry me?"

Seb swallows hard.

"Evan, you can't just―

"Can't what?" Evan just looks at him, the fear still in his eyes, but dissipating slightly. "I want to marry you. So I figured I should just ask."

Seb just looks at him. And for several, long seconds, neither of them says a word.

Then, when Seb finally speaks, it's with weak, wavering uncertainty.

"Evan, you don't want to marry me," he says, shaking his head. He's surprised at how sad he sounds. "No one in their right mind would want that."

"I'm pretty sure I do."

Months ago, Evan would have been exasperated and annoyed at Seb's reply, at his way of voicing his own insecurities, the ones he keeps constantly hidden beneath a hundred layers of sarcasm and cynicism. But now, Evan knows better, and he knows that there is no point in getting annoyed. He has learned that all he can do is to try and convince Seb of his feelings, instead.

And Seb, months ago, would have kept at his sarcasm and cynicism, and refused to give Evan the straight answer he was asking for, too stuck in his own patterns. But now, he has learned that there's no point with Evan, because he will just keep prodding, until Seb finally gives in and drops his defenses. So all Seb can do is to just skip past all that and answer properly and honestly, right away. Even if it isn't the answer Evan wants.

"Why?" Seb finally asks, after several seconds of silence. He's honestly confused.

Being in a relationship is one thing, hell, even living together is. But getting married... That's permanent―at least
semi
-permanent. And even though Seb doesn't doubt for a second that he wants that, he is, as usual, scared that Evan doesn't. Not really.