Just Tricking! (16 page)

I watch them helplessly trying to untangle themselves from one another and shake my head.

‘You know,' I say, ‘maybe it's just me, but I don't find that very funny.'

Lik and Leech are both silent.

‘And another thing I don't find very funny is you two hassling me every time I walk past. It's got to stop.'

‘Sorry,' says Lik. ‘We were just mucking around. How about a milkshake to make up for it?'

I should leave it here and just keep walking up the hill, but I'm enjoying my newfound power too much. I remember the cool milkshakes that Lik used to make for me back in the days when we were friends. Two heaped teaspoons of malt, eggs, ice-cream and about half a bottle of chocolate syrup. Hardly any room for the milk. Beautiful.

‘Thought you'd never ask,' I say.

‘Okay,' says Lik. ‘I'll go get you one, won't be a sec.'

‘No, not takeaway,' I say. ‘I think I'll drink it inside, if that's okay with you. Sun's kind of hot today.'

Leech and Lik look at each other.

‘Yeah, Andy,' says Lik. ‘Of course. Come in.'

We start walking up the drive. I'm so cool I can't believe it.

Inside, I pick the best seat in the loungeroom and plonk my feet up on the coffee table. There's a pile of magazines on top of the table, so I push them all off onto the carpet with my feet.

‘I think I'll just wait here while you make my milkshake,' I say.

‘Sure, fine,' says Lik.

I grab the remote and turn on the television. I turn up the sound full-blast so that it's distorting.

Lik pokes his head around the door.

‘Hey, Andy!' he says.

‘What?'

‘Can you turn that down a bit?'

‘No,' I say. ‘I like it loud.'

Lik just stands there like he's not sure whether to rip the remote out of my hand and shove it down my throat or just leave it.

‘Wanna make something of it?' I say.

‘No,' he says, ‘of course not. You're the guest. What flavour milkshake do you want?'

‘Chocolate, of course,' I say.

‘Coming up,' he says and goes back into the kitchen.

I start flicking through the channels on the remote. ‘Playschool' on Channel Two. The presenters are pretending to be kookaburras. They're singing a song.

‘Kookaburra sits on the old gum tree, merry merry king of the bush is he . . . '

I know exactly how that kookaburra feels. I'm the king and Lik and Leech are my subjects. They will do anything I tell them to. I watch a bit more of ‘Playschool', then turn it off.

‘What's taking so long?' I call.

‘Almost ready,' yells Leech.

I hear the high-pitched whine of the blender. My mouth starts watering. Steve Lik's milkshakes are really something else.

The blender stops.

‘I don't want it in the container, either,' I say. ‘I want it in a glass. With a straw!'

‘No worries,' calls Lik.

Leech enters the room with the milkshake on a tray. Lik is right behind him.

Leech places the tray on top of the coffee table. The milkshake is in one of those old-fashioned glasses with ridges down the side and a crazy straw sticking out. There is a scoop of chocolate ice-cream sitting on top.

Lik picks up the glass and gives it to me. Then they both kneel down on either side of my chair and stare at me.

‘Do you mind?' I say.

‘No,' says Leech, his lips curling into a slight smile.

‘Well, what are you waiting for?'

‘We just want to watch you drink it,' says Lik.

‘We just want to watch you
enjoy
it,' says Leech.

There's something about the way he says ‘enjoy' that I don't like.

I push my arm forward to make sure they remember who's boss here. I look at them, look at my tattoo and look back at them to make sure they've got the message.

But they just start laughing. My stomach drops.

‘Would you mind sharing the joke with me?' I say.

‘Should we?' says Lik.

‘Yes,' says Leech. ‘I think we should.'

Leech pulls up his sleeve. Lik pulls up his sleeve.

On each of their arms – in almost exactly the same place as mine – is a skull with green eyes and a long red moustache.

I look at them.

They look at me.

The room is very quiet.

‘Well, drink up,' says Lik. ‘We're waiting.'

‘Urn,' I say, ‘look, thanks for the milkshake and everything, but I'm not really that thirsty. I might just get going.'

I sit forward to get up, but Lik pushes me back into my seat.

‘After we've gone to all this trouble? Surely you've got a minute just to drink a milkshake. You can't waste it.'

‘Okay,' I say. ‘But then I've really got to get going.'

‘Sure,' says Lik. ‘Drink up.'

I guess there are worse punishments.

I put the glass up to my lips.

‘Oh, there's just one thing,' says Leech. ‘Hope you don't mind, but we couldn't find any chocolate syrup.'

I'm starting to sweat.

‘That's okay,' I say, trying to keep cool. ‘What did you use instead?'

‘Slugs,' says Leech. ‘Now drink up.'

rs Wharton is stomping around the library. She's telling kids off for talking. She's telling kids off for leaning back on their chairs. She's practically telling kids off for breathing. You name it, and she's telling them off for it.

I reckon she's wasted as a librarian. Mrs Wharton should have been the governor of a high-security prison. That'd be one prison where they wouldn't have to worry about the prisoners talking, leaning back on their chairs or returning their library books late.

The only person Mrs Wharton has not told off so far this lesson is me. That's because I'm working so hard. It's pretty rare for me to work this hard, but I have a big assignment on Antarctic explorers due in on Monday. It's worth 50 per cent of our end of year mark and I've only just started it.

The trouble is, Danny is sitting at the desk next to mine and he keeps going on and on about how he wants to be invisible. He won't shut up. He's been talking about it for weeks now. Normally, I wouldn't mind, but I don't want to risk getting kicked out of the library because I need to use the Internet.

‘Psst! Andy!' says Danny.

‘Shhh!' I say to him. ‘Do you want to get us kicked out?'

‘No,' he says, ‘just tell me what you reckon. If I got a can of spray-paint and painted myself pink and painted my whole room pink and everything in it pink – do you think I'd be invisible then?'

‘Well, maybe,' I whisper. ‘As long as you stayed in your room. But once you left, you'd be a bit conspicuous.'

‘Oh,' he says.

He's quiet for a few seconds. Then he leans over again.

‘Psst!'

‘What!?' I say. I'm getting really impatient.

‘What does “conspicuous” mean?'

‘It means you'd stand out like a pimple on a pumpkin! Now would you shut up and do some work – and stop interrupting me!'

‘Yeah, sorry, mate,' he says. ‘But honestly, do you reckon it would work?'

‘For the last time, shut up!'

I reach into my pencil case for a lolly. Well, they're
supposed
to be lollies. They're really just those little multi-coloured balls with no taste. Nobody likes them, except three-year-olds – and that's only because they don't know any better. I'm only eating them because they were a present from my granny. It would have been rude to throw them away.

I crunch one between my teeth.

Danny leans over.

‘What are those?' he says.

Suddenly I have an idea of how to get rid of him.

Mrs Wharton is up at the loans counter checking out some books. This gives me a few minutes.

‘Danny, what would you say if I had a way of really making you invisible?'

‘How?'

I pass him the tube of lollies.

‘I was waiting until your birthday to give you these, but since you want to be invisible so badly, you might as well have them now.'

‘What are they?' he says.

‘They're invisipills. They make you invisible.'

‘For real?'

‘Absolutely.'

‘Where'd you get them?' he says.

‘I made them in science. I got the recipe off the Net.'

Danny hits his head with his hand. ‘Oh, man! Why didn't I think of that! Which site?'

‘I'd rather not say. The recipe was smuggled out of the Pentagon. Top-secret stuff. I could get into a lot of trouble if I'm caught.'

‘Have you tried them?'

‘Yep.'

‘And?'

‘They're pretty amazing. One pill will make you completely invisible for about half an hour.'

‘Wow! How come you didn't tell me?'

‘Like I said, I was keeping it for a surprise for your birthday.'

‘Can I try one?'

‘Sure. Just one, though. They're pretty powerful. And you've got to promise me one thing.'

‘What?' says Danny.

‘That after you've taken it you'll go outside and let me work.'

‘No problem,' he says.

He takes a lolly from the tube.

His eyes are wide as he puts it onto his tongue, closes his mouth and swallows.

‘Well?' he says. ‘Am I invisible?'

‘Not yet,' I say. ‘It takes a few minutes.'

Danny's holding his hands out in front of him, fingers out-stretched.

‘Have I faded even a little bit?' he says. ‘What do you reckon?'

I screw up my eyes, pretending to study him.

‘Yes – definitely!' I say. ‘No doubt about it.'

‘Cool!' he says.

I glance up. Mrs Wharton has finished at the loans counter and is prowling the library again.

‘You're fading fast now,' I say. ‘I can hardly see you.'

‘No I'm not,' he says. ‘I can still see me as clear as anything.'

‘Yeah – you're meant to, you dork. That's the way the pills are designed. You can see yourself, but nobody can see you. If you couldn't see yourself, you wouldn't know where you were and you'd get lost.'

‘Oh, I get it,' he says. ‘So, am I invisible yet?'