Just You (15 page)

I crashed to a halt. Kayla kept going, her
fingers around my wrist, until she met resistance. Confused, she
turned to see what had distracted me. All she had to do was follow
my narrowed eyes to get her answer. She flicked glances between my
face and Elena, who now stood so close to Michael that her boobs
practically rested on his arm. My stomach burned the way it always
did when she took advantage of my absence to weasel her way in.

“Don’t give her a second thought,” Kayla
said, as if it were possible to ignore this unsettling spectacle in
front of us. I forced myself to tear my eyes away from Michael’s
smile—aimed at
her—
and continued on to the washroom. As I
cleaned myself up, I kept picturing myself stomping over there and
pushing Elena to the floor, screaming obscenities at her. And how
good that would feel.

When I emerged from the bathroom, Kayla was
gone but Michael was there, alone now and waiting for me. He smiled
the same smile he’d bestowed upon Elena a few minutes earlier and
irritation licked up my spine. “I saw you go in,” he said, noticing
the way I’d stopped short at the sight of him.

“Yeah, I saw you too,” I said in a testy
voice. Then I bit my lip, hard, mad at myself for even opening my
mouth. This jealousy thing was making me crazy. But I’d had it up
to here with Elena Brewster and this whole situation.

Hearing my tone, Michael’s forehead creased
in confusion. I gazed down into my beer bottle, but I could feel
him watching me, trying to figure out why I was miffed. Finally, he
took my hand. “Let’s go somewhere quiet for a minute,” he said.

I let him pull me down the hallway, past the
bathroom and the mounting line-up of people. He steered us into a
darkened room, closing the door behind us. Once my eyes adjusted to
the dark I realized we were in an office/den much like my father’s
at home, with a desk and computer and shelves of books. A futon
rested against one wall, and we headed for that. Michael sat and
pulled me down beside him.

We sat there for a long time, not talking,
listening to the muffled music and voices seeping through the
walls. I picked at my bottle label with my thumbnail, aware that
Michael was waiting for me to speak, to tell him what was bothering
me. I wanted to, knew I
had
to, but the mere thought of his
reaction immobilized me. What would happen if I told him the truth,
that Elena made me feel threatened and vulnerable and every time he
talked to her I wondered if she’d become his someone better, his
Kara Neilson? And worse, what would happen when he found out that I
cared
?

Finally, I just blurted something out. “You
said you didn’t like her.”

“Who?” He seemed taken aback by my
abruptness. “Elena? I don’t like her.”

“You were talking to her. Smiling at
her.”

“Is that what this is all about?” Now he
sounded relieved. “She cornered me while I was looking for you and
started talking to me. I was trying to get away from her. Honestly.
I
don’t
like her.”

“She likes you.”

“Maybe,” he said. “But she knows I’m not
interested.”

“Doesn’t seem to stop her.” Annoyance
sneaked into my voice, giving me away. “She
hates
me.”

“She doesn’t even know you.”

“She gives me dirty looks and makes cracks
at me whenever she gets the chance.”

“Really?” Michael said, sounding
surprised.

“Really.” I deposited my beer on the desk
beside me. “And now that you’re with me, she sees you as this big
challenge and that makes her want you even more.”

“She has her work cut out for her then.”

I felt a little better, hearing that. My
breathing slowed.

“I get it, you know,” Michael said, his
cinnamon breath washing over my cheek. “Why you have a hard time
trusting people.”

I grabbed my beer again, needing something
to do with my hands. “It’s stupid, I know…”

He jostled my knee with his. “It’s not
stupid. It’ll take a while for me to earn your trust, I realize
that. You probably don’t believe it right now, but I’ll never hurt
you like your ex hurt you.”

I squeezed my eyes shut, willing myself not
to cry in front of him. Crying in front of
anyone
,
especially people of the male variety, was something I tried to
avoid. “He didn’t hurt me. I mean…” I sighed, frustrated over my
inability to find the right words. “It never bothered me when girls
flirted with him. The girl he dumped me for had been chasing him
forever, like Elena chases you. But the difference is I didn’t care
what Brian did because I was never in love with Brian like I’m…” My
voice trailed off when I realized what I was just about to say.
Heat crept up my face. “Um…” I said weakly.

“Do you mean that?” Michael asked. I
couldn’t see his expression in the dark, but it sounded like he was
smiling.

“Mean what?”

“What you almost said just now…the last
part.”

“Um,” I said again. So smooth.

“I really hope you did.” I could feel him
moving closer to me, his thigh pressing against mine.

“Yes.” I grew warm again, this time for a
different reason. “I meant it.”

“Good.”

His lips found mine in the dark. We eased
back onto the futon, where the kissing progressed until the door
slammed open and some guy staggered in. Michael and I sat up,
trying to pretend like we had not just been caught groping each
other.

“Oops,” the guy said, obviously drunk.
“Sorry, thought this was the bathroom.” He backed out and closed
the door.

“Bad choice of rooms,” Michael said, running
his fingers through his hair, fixing it. “No lock on the door.”

I buttoned my shirt with shaky fingers and
surveyed our surroundings, trying to get my bearings again. Right.
Office. Futon. Party. Not exactly private. We debated on going back
out, but decided not to just yet. The noise factor outside the door
had been increasing by the minute, so I knew it must be close to
midnight by now. If we were lucky, we would stay undiscovered a
little while longer and bring in the New Year alone.

No such luck. After being interrupted by two
more directionally-challenged people, we left the futon behind and
returned to the party. In the living room, a huge flat-screen TV
showed the local New Year’s countdown party, but it was turned down
low and no one seemed to be watching. As Michael and I worked our
way through the room, I spotted Robin on the sectional sofa with
Jeremy Vogel, this really cute guy who’d been chasing her for
months. And from the looks of things, chances of catching her were
good. Since dumping Devon over Christmas break, she’d been on the
hunt for a replacement.

“Hey guys!” Robin said when she saw us. When
I sank down next to her, she flung herself on me. Her lipstick was
smudged, and there were dozens of little orange hairs stuck to the
front of her dress. She must have been cuddling with Clarence. And
possibly with Jeremy. “It’s almost time! I’m so glad you’re here.”
She hugged me again, getting all mushy. “I love you guys so
much.”

I turned to Michael on my other side. “She
always acts like this when she’s drunk.”

“I noticed,” he said, smiling.

“I do not!” She made a face at us, and then
twisted around to elbow Jeremy in the ribs. “Can you get me another
drink?” she asked him, her voice like honey. That revived him from
his infatuated daze and he hopped up, full of energy, and dashed to
the kitchen. Robin’s powers never ceased to amaze me. With a snap
of her fingers, boys literally jumped to do her bidding.

“What have you done to Jeremy?” I asked her.
“He looks dumbstruck.”

“He always looks like that,” Michael
said.

Robin leaned across me to swat him. “He does
not. He’s sweet. Maybe a little too eager to please, but
sweet.”

Right on cue, Jeremy returned with her drink
and handed it to her carefully, as if she were the Queen of
England. Then he grinned at her like he was expecting a cookie.
“Thank you, Jeremy,” she said, and he beamed.

“It’s time,” someone announced from behind
us. All heads swiveled toward the TV. An audience of bundled-up
people started counting down, red-cheeked and excited, all of them
gazing up at a digital clock as it ticked away the seconds.
Ten...nine…

Robin reached for my hand and started
counting along.
Eight. Seven
. A second later Jeremy joined
in, followed by a few other people near us.
Six. Five.
Michael and I stayed silent, our eyes on the clock.
Four. Three.
Two.
By now almost the entire party was counting down, a
collective chorus of voices.

One.

A cheer went up. Drinks were raised, couples
kissed, friends hugged and wished each other a Happy New Year.
Beside us, Robin was in a lip lock with Jeremy, kicking off yet
another hopeful romance. Right now, as a new year began, everything
felt possible.

And in the middle of all this bedlam,
Michael kissed my forehead and then whispered in my ear, “I love
you, too.”

I was in too deep, for sure, but right then
I didn’t care if I ever broke the surface.

Chapter 14

On the first day back to school after
Christmas break, I taped a picture to the inside of my locker door.
It showed Michael and me sitting together on the sectional couch,
the party a blur behind us, Michael’s arm around me and our heads
almost touching. Robin had taken it on New Year’s Eve. We were
smiling, but a little out of focus as Robin had been pretty wrecked
when she took it. But I treasured it, knowing I couldn’t leave it
anywhere at home in case Mom found it. By keeping it in my locker I
could look at it every day, several times a day. Michael had a copy
too; I wondered if he kept it in his locker.

“No wonder I barely saw you during the
break,” Ashley said the first time she saw the picture. She had yet
to meet Michael, but going by the way she examined that picture
every time our locker was open, I knew she approved of him
appearance-wise at least.

However, she did
not
approve of me
seeing him behind my mother’s back. If I was a goody-goody, then
Ashley was Mother Theresa. I suppose it had to do with her strong
morals, which I respected but rarely shared. In fact, sometimes I
out-and-out clashed with them.

“You’re going to get caught,” she said one
Friday in mid-January as we sat in the noisy cafeteria with Erin
and Brooke. We were discussing my scandalous secret affair over
rubbery chicken fingers and undercooked fries.

“Stop being so negative,” I said. “My mother
trusts me, okay?”

She shook her head disapprovingly. “She
won’t once she catches you.”

“Come on, Ash.” Erin poked Ashley’s arm with
her plastic fork. “God, you’re so…holy.”

“What, so I’m holy because I don’t think
it’s a good idea to outright
deceive
your parents?”

Erin sighed dreamily and laid her hands over
her heart, batting her long, dark eyelashes for effect. She’d
signed up for drama class this semester and jumped at any chance to
be the slightest bit theatrical. “I think it’s romantic.”

“Two star-crossed lovers,” Brooke said with
the same dramatic flair. They both loved to tease me about
Michael.

“
I
think it’s stupid,” Ashley said.
“One lie will turn into two lies, and then more lies to cover up
those
lies, until one day you realize your whole
life
is one big lie.”

Erin rolled her eyes. “Exaggerate much?”

Irritated, Ashley shoved her carton of milk,
causing some drips to slosh out and land on her sleeve. “I’m just
trying to help. I think lust is affecting her common sense.”

“Who can blame her?” Brooke said, nudging
Erin. They had both seen the picture in my locker.

“Thanks, Ash.” I sniffed a chicken finger
and then dropped it back onto my plate. “But I can handle this
myself.”

She pursed her lips like she’d eaten
something sour. “Suit yourself. But I still think it’s going to end
badly. Don’t say I didn’t warn you.”

“Okay, I won’t.”

She scowled at me. “And don’t ever ask me to
cover for you, Taylor. Because I refuse to lie for you.”

“Fine. I won’t ask.” I was getting sick of
this conversation.

“Ask me,” Erin said eagerly. “I don’t mind
lying.”

“Thanks, but I don’t have any need for
alibis yet.”

She frowned. Erin loved anything to do with
intrigue and conspiracies.

After lunch, we headed to our lockers.
Brooke’s locker was at the other end of the school, but Erin tagged
along with Ashley and me because she and I had English together
next period. As I got my books together, Ashley continued to
lecture me on the evils of deception.

“Brea used to sneak out at night, through
her window,” she said, stuffing her math book into her
backpack.

“Yeah?” I was intrigued. Maybe I could learn
some pointers from Ashley’s sister. I knew sneaking out was far
from the worst thing she’d ever done.

“Yeah, and she eventually got caught. And
grounded for, like, three months.”

I started hunting for a working pen. “Maybe
she got sloppy.”

“You might get sloppy too.”

I thought about all the things I’d been
hiding from my mother since November. The picture. The swan charm
Michael had given me for my birthday, which I kept on my necklace
but was careful not to wear around the house. The nightly phone
calls that I lied about, claiming they were from my friends. The
fact that I had a new boyfriend at all.

Okay, so I was deceiving her. Still, the way
I saw it, what my mother didn’t know wouldn’t hurt her.

“Lighten up, Ash,” Erin said, and then she
leaned on the locker next to ours and gazed at the picture of
Michael and me. “Does he have a twin brother?”

I laughed. “No.”