Justice Is a Woman (35 page)

“Father.” Joe moved hastily forward now until he was standing between his father and

Elaine, and he

stared at his father as he pointed to Elaine, “Make it plain to her, will you, because her cute mind has

pointed out to her the resemblance between Elizabeth and me, so she accuses me of being her father.”

Mike now looked straight back into Joe’s eyes. Then, after a moment, he turned his gaze on to Elaine’s

tight pallid face and he said slowly, “David is my son.”

Elaine, staring up at Mike, made a small movement with her head, and her nose twitched just the

slightest. She went to open her mouth, then closed it again .. Rising from the chair, she glared at Joe,

then back to his father, then turned her bitter gaze on David, and it would seem that her eyes had

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dragged a cloak of disdain over the three of them before she stalked from the room.

“Well! Well!” The words seemed to break the embarrassed silence, and as Mike lowered

himself

down into his chair he looked to where David was standing near the door and he said

quietly, “Come on

in, lad, and sit down.”

“No, thank you.” The words still came slow and deep.

“I’ve stood on the sidelines all this time and that’s where I choose to stay. As you said yourself, it’s too

late in the day.” And on this, David too turned about and left the room.

But Joe was immediately after him, calling, “Wait a minute, David.

Hang on a minute. Please! “

Mike now turned his head towards Betty, saying, “Don’t you walk out on me an’ all, at least not at the

moment. Shut the door, lass; then pour me a drink.”

Betty closed the door, and she poured out two drinks, and after handing a glass to Mike she sat down

facing him and stared at him for a moment before she asked quietly, “Why have you kept silent all this

time?”

He threw off the measure of whisky in one gulp, wiped his mouth on the back of his hand and said, “I

might have kept silent, lass, but it was well known in most quarters; at least, it was guessed at.”

“But you never openly acknowledged him?”

“No, no; I couldn’t, not while his so-called father was alive. And then there seemed no point

afterwards. And I was in the thick of this.” He tapped his knees.

“I think I might have done at one time,

but then our Joe brought his lady-wife home. I took one look at her and said to me self she wouldn’t

stand for that. And it is strange, but she hated David from the minute she saw him. And from the minute

I saw her I predicted in me own mind the life our Joe was going to have ‘cos I had the same me self

That’s why David came into being. “

Mike looked out of the window now and said quietly, “She was a beautiful woman, his

mother. Mary

engaged her in the kitchen. She had the muckiest jobs to do, yet she always carried

herself like a queen.

I used to watch her from the window. I took to watching her, and when I spoke to her, and I did at

every opportunity, her smile was warm.

She was seventeen when she came but she was already a woman: she was a full-blooded

negress and

she could sing. She had a beautiful voice.

But she could neither read nor write, but she could talk. Oh, how she could talk. “

He turned to Betty now and, nodding his head slowly, he said, “She was wiser than

Solomon in some of

the things she said. And I wasn’t the only one that liked to look at her and hear her talk or sing. Brooks,

he did the garden then he used to come out from Fellburn he lived with his widowed

mother, a quiet

fellow, church-going, no drink, that kind of a bloke. Well ...”

He now leaned back in the chair and gazed at the ceiling as he went on, “I’ll leave the rest to your

imagination. I’ll only say this: it would never have happened if me wife had been

anything like a wife to

me; but from the time she fell with Joe she

wouldn’t let me near’ her that kind of thing was only for—’ He now brought his head

down and his gaze

slanted towards Betty and, his smile twisted, he said, “The word was procreation. A

mouthful, that, isn’t

it? But oh, I remember that word, I heard it often enough.” He laughed out aloud as he said now,

“There might have been another after Joe, when she felt the need to procreate again, but she found out

about Nessy, and God! didn’t she give me hell! Unlike Elaine, she didn’t shout or bawl I could have

met that kind of attack from her but no, she smiled at you while cutting your throat. She talked at me,

showing up me ignorance. Did I ever tell you that’s why I started reading so much,

because I was

ashamed of being so ignorant? Anyway’ he brought his hand tightly down over his face “

Nessy got

pregnant.

And I was at me wits’ end: I didn’t want her to leave, yet she couldn’t stay. Then one night Mary came

and said Frank Brooks wanted to see me, and in a most formal way that fellow asked if I would object

to his marrying Nessy. He knew all about what was going on. He was a good man, and he was a brave

one an’ all, because I knew he would have to fight his mother and the chap elites not forgetting how the

ordinary folk looked upon a fellow marrying a black woman and vice versa. I can see him now, standing

looking me straight in the eye, yet never hinting at the truth. I can hear me self saying that I saw no

reason why he shouldn’t marry Nessy, while at the same time I felt like opening a vein and letting me

blood run out, because me heart

ached. You see, I loved her as I’ve never loved anybody afore or since. Anyway, I said he could have

The Cottage, I’d have it done up, but.. but he was to understand that Nessy couldn’t work in the house

any more. I can hear him saying in an ordinary tone, “Yes, I understand that, sir.”

He stopped speaking; then he wetted his lips a number of times before saying, “Pour me another drink,

lass, will you?”

Betty poured out a single drink and gave it to him, and he sipped at it, then looked up at her.

“It’s been a day of revelations, hasn’t it?” he said.

“Yes, it would seem so, Mike.” Her voice was soft.

“Do you blame me for not recognising him?”

She considered for a moment before she said, “Yes; yes I do, Mike. I I think you could have done it, at

least to him personally after his father died; I mean, the man.”

“Aye, lass, I suppose I could. But when you’re confronted with decisions like these

they’re never

simple. You look back on them and you think you should have done this or that, but at the time there are

so many pressures around you. Yet I suppose I could and I should have done it, because me wife was

dead by then.”

“When ... when did ... David’s mother die?”

“Four years after he was born. You know what I believe, lass? You can make yourself

die, you can

will yourself to die. Aw, yes, you can.” He nodded his head as she shook hers as if in denial; and then he

went on, “Once she married she hardly spoke to

me. The only time she talked was in the depths of the garden there, and she said to me, “I used to love

life, but I’m going to leave it early.” I never forgot those words. You see she cared for me as much as I

did for her. “ He drew in a deep sigh now before he ended, “ When she went, I expected Frank’s

attitude to change towards the lad, but it never did. As I said afore, he was a good man.

David was

lucky to have him: anybody else might have given him hell. Well, now. “ He drained his glass.

“Where do we go from here? Oh, oh, I know where you’re going, to the old girl’s. What do you think

she’ll say ... if she doesn’t already know?”

“No; as yet she doesn’t know. And I haven’t the slightest idea what she’ll say. I can’t for the moment

imagine she’ll want me to have the child there, but she might want me to stay with her until, as she might

put it in her own words, it was time I was making other arrangements.”

“Things will never be the same again in this house, lass, once you’re gone. What’s he going to do about

it? Our Joe.”

“There’s no need for him to do anything.”

“That’s very magnanimous of you, but what about the hairn? They don’t call them

bastards so often

now but, nevertheless, there’s still the stigma.”

“Well, that will be for me to deal with.”

“Oh no, no, it won’t; it’ll be for the hairn to deal with when he grows up. That amuses me, that

viewpoint, that it doesn’t matter now if you have a hairn on the side.

No, it doesn’t matter so much to

the mother; she’s not pushed into the workhouse any more; but, let me tell you, it’ll still matter to the

child. “

“Well, what’s the remedy? Have you got one?”

“Aye; you could take my name.”

“Oh, Mike. No! No!” She turned quickly away from him and made for the door, and he

called after

her, “Am I so objectionable to you?”

Swinging round, she looked towards him, saying, “No; nor have you ever been

objectionable to me; but,

you know yourself, I couldn’t do such a thing.”

“Aye. Aye, I suppose you’re right. Aw, lass, I’m sorry. I’m sorry.” He shook his head slowly.

“I’m gonna miss you like hell... Will you look in afore you go?”

“Yes, I’ll look in, Mike.”

She went out and closed the door quietly behind her.

A day of revelations, he had said. Indeed, indeed, it was a day of revelations.

Lady Ambers had just been listening to the six o’clock news on the wireless and she was now looking

around the room as if in search of someone on whom she could pour out her feelings

against .. that man!

All those poor men on the beaches of Dunkirk. Why couldn’t they send the Navy in?

What was the

Navy for? All those little boats paddling backwards and forwards. It was all very heroic, but they were

being sunk by the dozen. What was needed was big guns to blast those Germans to hell, then ships to

gather up all those poor men. She was glad she hadn’t a son. Yet in those far-off days she had longed ..

oh, how she had longed to bear a child. And she was sure it wasn’t her fault that she hadn’t succeeded.

Yet, as she had told herself many times before, she must stop hoodwinking herself on this point: she’d

had three registered husbands and quite a number of unregistered ones;

it was very unlikely that they had all failed to implant a child in her. She hated the word barren. She

never uttered it or thought about it, except when it crossed her mind in dreams, for who would ever dare

to associate barrenness with her vivacity.

But now she was genuinely glad she’d had no son, for there would have been a grandson, and he,

inheriting her own spirit, would more than likely be on that beach now; and it was such a beautiful

evening, a real first day of June.

She rose from her chair and walked very slowly to the trench window and gazed out over the lawn and

down to the river. It was all very beautiful and peaceful. The war was not touching her; but oh, she

wished it would in some way, for she was so lonely. It being Saturday, Mrs. Pollard left at twelve

o’clock, and Nancy at five, and she wouldn’t see either of them until tomorrow at nine.

They came later

on a Sunday.

“Hello!”

Lady Ambers put her hands tightly to her heart before she turned round. Then, her mouth dropping into

a gape, she cried, “Betty! Oh Betty! Oh, how you startled me!”

“I’m sorry. I ... I came in the back way.”

‘ I didn’t expect you. Why didn’t you ring ? What’s the matter? How did you get here

anyway? “

“I came by train and took a bus to the crossroads and walked the rest of the way.”

“My goodness! And you had a case?”

“Oh, it wasn’t very heavy. The rest of my things are at the station.”

“The rest?”

The old lady’s mouth fell into an even wider gape and, grasping hold of Betty’s hands now, she said, “Sit

down. Sit down.”

“No; you sit down.”

“Well ... well, we’ll both sit down. Now tell me; what’s happened?

What’s brought you here,

without my phoning, or begging, or praying? “

“Do you think I might have a cup of tea first?”

Lady Ambers stared at her, then said quietly, “Yes, my dear. Come along; we’ll go into the kitchen;

Nancy left a tray set.” ..

It was almost fifteen minutes later, back in the sitting-room, when, unable to contain herself any longer,

she straightened her back, joined her hands on her lap and demanded, “Well, out with it!

You’ve left

them, haven’t you?” There was a note of triumph in her voice.

“Yes. Yes, you could say I’ve left them.”

“Years too late. Years too late. How did it happen? Tell me ... Why didn’t you bring all your things

along with you? You could have got a taxi from the village or phoned Dobson to come

and fetch you.

Of course, as always, he’d have an excuse about a local defence volunteers’ meeting or some such.”

“I... I don’t know whether I’m going to stay or not. Lady Mary.”

There was a moment’s silence while the old lady screwed up her face, and when she did speak there

was a slight tremor in her voice as she said, “What do you mean, not going to stay ? You haven’t gone

and joined the Army?”

“No, no.:

“Then what do you mean? Out with it.”

“What I’m going to say will come as a surprise to you and no doubt a shock.”

“Well! Well! I’m waiting and I’m used to shocks. Out with it! I say.”

“I’m ... I’m pregnant. My baby is due in October.”