Kai (A Dark Assassins Novel Book One) (23 page)

“I’m sorry,” she said.

Slowly, he walked around the bed and moved toward her as his eyes scanned her and the area around her.
 
Realization struck her with a force that left her breathless.
 
He saw her as a danger.
 
He managed to reinforce his wariness with each calculated step.
 
Moving in a way she hoped put him at ease, she brought her hands up, palms down, in case they asked him to restrain her for the murder of Dr. Ames.
 
She must’ve been more of a danger than she thought because a frown marred his gorgeous face.

A split second later, she found herself in his arms, with his face buried against her neck.
 
The feeling was familiar and yet foreign.
 
His movements were forced, as if he didn’t want the embrace to feel as intimate as their other encounters, further leading her to believe that she had been right.
 
Their relationship was at an end.

Unsure whether she should hug him back, it took a few long seconds before her arms wrapped around him, savoring his touch until her time ran out.
 
She treasured these last moments with him, and hoped that whatever happened with her, he would find happiness.

“You smell exactly the same,” he muttered.

Unable to trust her emotions, she held herself stiffly as she tried to process his statement.
 
She must’ve received blood transfusions because of her wounds, so his statement only managed to further confuse her.
 
She tried to remember how long she’d been unconscious, and started to shake because she’d failed him again.

“When did you drink last?” she asked.

A snarl sounded at her throat, letting her know that her question was none of her business, and she couldn’t help the tears that streamed down her cheeks.

“Kai, you’re making her cry.
 
Maybe you should calm down,” Ghost said.

Her eyes darted toward Ghost, and she tried to blink back the tears, but they kept flowing.
 
“I am…sorry for putting you in danger.
 
Did you find the vaccine?
 
Did you vaccinate everyone?”

Ghost nodded, and when he noticed that Kai had calmed, but not yet moved away from her, he gave her a small smile and walked out the door, leaving her alone with Kai.

“Is Seth okay?”

“He’s fine.”

“I know that asking you for your blood was out of line, and I apologize, but I’m glad that everyone had a chance to be vaccinated.
 
The vampire didn’t hurt me.
 
Please don’t destroy him.
 
He lost his mate and he was desperate.
 
I don’t blame him,” she said.

“His name is Kane, and we’ve talked about what happened.”

“Then you know it wasn’t his fault,” she pleaded.

“He’s not in trouble, Liv.”

“Are they going to arrest me for killing Dr. Ames?” she whispered.

“No.
 
He had it coming and no one faults you for that,” he growled.

She nodded, and this time when he squeezed her, it felt as if he were saying good-bye.
 
She savored his touch for a moment longer, but with one last inhale, she stepped back, and paused before taking another.
 
All the while, her body craved to move back into his arms and stay there as long as he let her, but she had to remember that he didn’t want her anymore.
 

Kai’s brows drew down in confusion, but he gave her the room she needed.
 
Her eyes memorized every nuance of his face, remembering how his lips felt on her skin, how each time they made love had been more intense than the last, and she smiled, happy that she would have the memories of their time together.
 
For a moment in time, she had been his, and he had been hers, and she would treasure that time for the rest of her life.

“Kai, I have to tell you something,” she stammered.

He closed the distance between them and cupped her cheeks, pressing his forehead to hers.
 
She inhaled, taking comfort in his familiar smell.
 
With a small brush of his lips against hers, he pulled her into his arms and held her close.
 

Her throat tightened with emotion as her eyes darted toward the door before moving toward the big picture window.
 
The woods beyond were familiar to her, but she didn’t exactly know where she was.
 
Running seemed like the best option because she wouldn’t beg Kai for something she knew he couldn’t give her, and at that moment, the choice had been made.

She noted her reflection in the window, and found herself dressed in jeans and warm sweatshirt, and relieved that she could leave.
 
It gave her the bravery needed for the next words out of her mouth.

“While you and your team are the closest I have had to family since I lost Molly, I wanted you to know that I will never forget what you’ve done for me.
 
But I blame myself for putting you in danger in the first place, and for that, I am truly sorry.”
 
She had to pause before she continued, wrapping her arms tighter around his waist and squeezing.
 
“I love you, more than I have ever loved anyone, and I wanted to tell you so many times, but I was scared.
 
I’m still scared, but I almost lost my chance to tell you.
 
I love you, Kai.”

Silence met her for several long minutes, allowing her mind to race and her heart to break.
 
When he loosened his grip, she rushed past Kai, down the flight of stairs, and out of the building she now recognized as a hospital.
 
Her thoughts were on the vampire she left back in the hospital room, and it propelled her faster, unable to deal with the pain that threatened to unravel her.

Although she thought that her life had been defined by her work, she was most proud of the relationships she’d developed over the past few weeks.
 
They’d had shown her that she could be more than a lab rat who had nothing in common with anyone.
 

She ran without a clear idea where she headed, but when she heard her name shouted by several different voices at once, it made her pause, but for only a second.
 
But a second too long, because at that moment a red fox danced into her view.
 
She stopped her forward movement and smiled, realizing that Jade had shifted for the first time since they’d met.

“Hello, Jade,” she said.

The fox shifter tilted her head and stared back, but the next moment, she howled, alerting Kai and the others to her location.
 
With a small smile on her face, Liv darted through the trees, away from the voices and the howling, and to distract herself, she wondered what she would do with her life.
 

She could no longer go back to Standard and start over with her research.
 
She wouldn’t be welcomed after leaving without a word.
 
The thought of living in the same town as Kai held a certain appeal, but she knew it would be best for both of them if she left.
 
And while cancer research still appealed to her, she thought it would be best for everyone if she learned to do something different.

“Liv, stop,” Kai demanded.

She thought about stopping, but dismissed it quickly.
 
It would only delay the pain that would come.
 
She was a stupid human who endangered him and his team, and when she thought about what could’ve happened to Seth, her heart squeezed hard in her chest and she lost her breath.
 
She slowed for a moment, but decided that she would allow the pain to overwhelm her later.
 
Kai and the others would still live in the same world that she existed in.
 
That would have to be enough for her.

Chapter Twenty

Kai

A mixture of panic and relief surged through him as he tracked her movements as she ran through the pines, easily dodging trees and evading the assassins as they tried to close in on her position.
 
Although she had to have realized that something about her had changed, she had yet to process her strength or speed, and he had himself to blame.
 

He’d spent the last few days watching her struggle through pain and delirium as her body tried to heal the damage she sustained.
 
Even in sleep, she screamed as pain tore through her body, over and over again, until he needed to do what he thought was best for her.

He’d repeated his conversations that he had with Ghost with the rest of the group, asking their advice about him turning her.
 
At first they had rejected the idea because they thought he would do it to end his pain, not hers.
 
As a group, they had spoken to everyone assigned to Liv’s case, and they couldn’t guarantee that she would ever awake from her coma.
 
And if she did, the injuries she sustained would leave her with some permanent nerve damage in her arms and hands.
 
Listening to the doctors and witnessing her pain for themselves, they each agreed that turning her would be the best course of action.
 
They also agreed that if he ever hurt her again, they would take turns in kicking his ass.

So two days after they’d arrived at the medical facility, the nurse had started a transfusion, using his blood to accelerate the process, and then he was left alone with Liv.
 
She had been strapped down, taking care to avoid all of her injuries, because they had no idea whether the venom would cause more pain than she already sustained.
 

None of them had ever witnessed a transition, and they were taking all the precautions they could, making sure that Liv would be as comfortable as possible.

Watching her for a long moment, and as determined as ever to save her, he bent over the bed and licked a swath over her neck to numb the area.
 
His fangs extended at the first taste of her skin, but instead of plunging in as he wanted to, he concentrated on the injection of venom that she would need to turn.
 
She was unable to drink his blood, hence the transfusion, but the venom would need to be introduced directly into an artery.

He groaned as his teeth pierced her skin, and although a few drops of blood tasted like heaven in his mouth, he administered the amount of venom he thought was needed before he sealed her skin closed.
 
He hadn’t expected immediate results, but as the hours ticked by, he found himself growing impatient as he held Liv’s hand and watched as the blood in the bag emptied.
 
He hadn’t been aware that one by one, his friends had come to sit with him and watched as the woman they had all grown to care for struggled for survival.

When the transfusion had been complete, the nurse had removed the needle, giving Hunter a smile when he blanched at the sight.
 
After that, it had been a waiting game.
 
The moment they knew her body had accepted his venom and blood had been horrifying.
 
The spiral fracture in her right arm snapped back into place.
 
The sound echoed loudly in the white, sterile hospital room.
 
The sound made him wince despite knowing what the action meant.
 

She still lay unconscious for three days, and while the rest of the team came and went, he couldn’t pull himself away from Liv until he knew that she had become whole and healthy.

On the third day, the transition had been completed, yet she still lay unresponsive, and he decided that they should return home, close to where everything felt familiar to her.
 
They had been airlifted, the others finding their own way back, and after barely a day at Memorial Hospital in Snowfall, she had awoken, strong and beautiful.

He reached out to see whether he could still feel her emotions, but he couldn’t read her, and panic set in.
 
He became uncertain.
 
Did she block him because of her transition or did she purposely block him out?

Along with his panic, when she had admitted her feelings for him, his throat became constricted, and he couldn’t get the words that he was desperate to speak past his throat.
 
Because of his silence, she ran.
 
Before she left the room, he could feel an overwhelming sadness that could have only come from Liv.
 
The relief in him felt palpable and it took him a moment before he took off after her.

He couldn’t forgive himself for not revealing his feelings in the first place, but she had run again because of his silence and the hurt that it caused her.
 
He couldn’t lose her, but he had no way to stop her, other than one.
 
So when he closed in on her, and in front of the entire team, he admitted the truth.

“You can’t leave me, Liv.
 
I love you too much to ever let you go.”

He expected her to continue running, for it to take more than one admission of what he felt for her to get her to stop, but she surprised him again.
 
She stopped in her tracks and sank down onto the cold ground, wrapping her arms around her bent knees and hiding her face from him.
 
He knelt in front of her, and when she lifted her head, he was graced with a smile that stopped his heart.

“You do?”

He couldn’t stand the distance between them, even though mere inches separated them, and picked her up and sat her in his lap.
 
His arms wrapped around her and brought her close, loving the feel of her in his arms again.

“I was angry that you had solved it so quickly because I thought that meant you were going to leave me before I could ask you to stay.
 
You’re brilliant and beautiful, and I’ve been acting like an ass since I brought you home.
 
But it was more than that.
 
For six months, I followed you, made sure that you were safe.
 
I couldn’t stay away from you.
 
I don’t think I could once I spotted you.
 
I love you, Liv.
 
While I’ve done nothing but push you away from me, know that I love you.
 
Never doubt that.”