Kairos (16 page)

Yelling voices drag my attention to an adjoining room. I walk to the door and open it to find a massive billiards room. The pool table stands out like a proud centerpiece with an air hockey table to its right side. This must be where the boys come to chill out. On the back wall is a huge flat-screen TV with gaming chairs in front of it. It looks like a shrine to the Xbox and PS3 on the wall-to-wall entertainment center. This is definitely the men’s den. I walk to the door and make my way down to the next doorway.

The voices get louder as I approach. But just as I’m about to close the distance, a warm hand falls on my shoulder. Startled, I jump back and shriek.

“Holy hell, you scared the shit out of me.” My face must be quite humorous because Josie busts out laughing.

“You should see your face.” She laughs, holding her stomach. I can’t help but smile back and chuckle a little at my lack of courage while prowling around her house and lurking in the corners like some kind of burglar. She straightens and gestures for me to follow her as her laughter dies down to a slight giggle.

“I’ve something to show you. Just follow me.” The voices I heard are eerily quiet now. They must’ve heard Josie and I and put a lid on it.

As we step outside, she makes her way to the left of the grounds, and I follow like a lost puppy. I feel lost, so it’s only natural to follow someone who is willing to lead, right? Like I said…I’m behaving like a coward.

The cobblestone sidewalk feels bumpy underneath my tennis shoes. I sprang for light and comfortable this morning when I was getting dressed. I have on a pair of gray skinny jeans, a “Music Rocks” t-shirt, and a pair of black Converse tennis shoes. Josie, on the other hand, looks like she just stepped off the runway with her long, wavy blond hair, gold hoop earrings, and bangle bracelets. She is fashionably sexy with her navy blue capri shorts, brown gladiator sandals, and yellow blouse that billows out at the bottom. She looks elegant yet casual.

My head is swiveling like a bobblehead as we cross over onto a path that is lined with circular walking stones. My gaze strays to my feet for a moment as I watch myself stepping from one stone to the next. Then I raise my eyes to look around again and spot a small pond off in the distance with what looks like a garden next to it. Josie veers right, and I tag along behind her. As we round a set of carved bushes, I see our destination. A huge barn is situated in the middle of a group of trees. It looks as if the forest has snuggled it into her bosom. Josie looks over her shoulder and smiles at me.

The barn is half rock, half wood. The base is row after row of neatly cemented rocks that join into large rows of timber that form line after line of an impenetrable wall high into the air to meet the roof. The barn appears to be recently renovated, with modern touches here and there, but it’s the inside that makes me stare in awe. I know I must look like a kid at Disneyland as I stand there spinning in a slow circle and taking it all in. The floor is made of stone and so damn clean I could probably eat off of it. To the left is a tack room with various types of saddles, bridles, halters, and cubbies full of grooming equipment. Directly to the right is a wash stall with long hoses that pull from the wall for bathing the horses. One hose has a brush mounted on the end that reminds me of the ones you see at car washes back home.

There are at least fifty stalls that run down the left and right side with a wide walkway between them. As we approach them, heads pop out and nicker with excitement. I laugh at the sight, and Josie turns to grin at me.

“I come here every day. Sometimes three or four times a day.” She approaches a gray horse that is nodding its head up and down, signaling for her to come on over. She brushes its forehead and kisses its muzzle. “This is Thor. He’s mine. And that one over there,” she says, pointing to the black horse staring right at me, “belongs to Miles. His name is Loki. It’s peaceful here. This is the best place to find yourself.” She looks up at me with a sad smile. “I understand what you’re going through. Miles and I didn’t choose this life. We were pulled from our family and friends just as you were. I think that’s why he’s so protective of me.”

I look over at her horse and begin stroking his hard, muscled neck. His coat is soft and sleek to the touch as I stroke my hand back and forth over him.

“It must be nice to have an older brother looking out for you.” I look over at her to find her staring at me with curiosity. “Why do you think he’s older? We’re twins, you know. Strangely enough I’m three minutes older.” She says this with a smug smile. I can see that this has been a source of contention between them for many years.

“I’ll bet he loves it every time you remind him of that.” That gets a laugh out of her, and I can’t help but laugh too.

I wish I had a brother or sister who loved me as much they obviously love each other. It seems like twins have an unfair advantage compared to the rest of the world. No matter what they will always have someone who knows them better than anyone else, loves them more than anyone else, and is bonded with them in a way no one else ever will. I’m jealous, and it shows because she lightly pushes my shoulder and laughs at my stricken expression.

“Trust me, Sully; it’s not as glamorous as everyone thinks. Maybe if my twin were a female it wouldn’t be so difficult to get along. But my brother is all male, and that comes with some very nasty details that I wish I could scrub from my brain.” We walk down to the next stall, and I suck in a breath at the sight that meets me.

A golden horse stands in the middle of the stall, lazily dozing. His coat is so shiny it looks metallic. A long, wavy mane and tail that appear almost white reflect the same golden metallic sheen. Where the other horses are all thick and muscular, this horse is nothing but long, clean lines of sleek perfection. Josie steps up next to me and sighs with pleasure.

“He’s an Akhal-Teke. They’re known for their golden-toned coats, but Zander is—well, he’s like nothing I’ve ever seen. Logan was out riding one day on the countryside, and a tourist took his picture and posted it on the Internet. It went viral within days. Zander was called the most beautiful horse in the world, and Logan…” She pauses for a minute and chuckles. “They said he looked like a Norse god on his golden war horse. The guys ribbed him over it, and to say he hated it would be putting a bit of a damper on it.” I smile at the thought of Logan catching flak over his staggering good looks.

We pass the evening talking about anything and everything. Josie is really easy to let your guard down with. Our quick friendship has helped relax me, and I feel more comfortable with my decision to come here. After grooming the horses and Josie explaining the different saddles and various tacks to me, we make our way back for a quick bite to eat.

It’s been a very long day, and I’m so tired my eyes are starting to cross. Logan left with a couple of the guys while Josie and I were making sandwiches in the kitchen. Kayla has been MIA since our run-in earlier in the day. While I’m a little hurt that Logan didn’t try to talk to me before he left, I think he was just trying to give me some space. My brain hurts from too much thinking, and I’m ready to shut it down. I look toward the bathroom and can’t resist the urge to soothe my tired body under the massive showerhead. Before I know it, I’m halfway there, and my clothes are being discarded, leaving a trail in my wake.

After my awesome shower, I step into my fleece pajama bottoms and black tank top, climb under the silk sheets, and snag my e-reader from my laptop case. A good historical romance is definitely in order. Considering I’m in Scotland, a Highlander novel would be best. I pull up one of my favorite authors and lose myself into a world of thick-muscled, bare-chested, kilt-wearing sex gods. Aah…it’s good to be a woman sometimes.

Chapter
Eight

I
awake to the sun shining through the thick draperies and casting candescent light over my face. It feels like tiny fingers of warmth scratching at my sleep-swollen eyes, beckoning them to accept the new day and whatever it brings. The sad thing is I don’t feel like greeting a new day with a fake smile. Logan didn’t come to my bed last night, and after lying in bed awake for what seemed like hours, trying to read and vanquish evil thoughts, I finally succumbed to exhaustion and passed out in a restless sprawl over my comforter. Somehow throughout the night I found my way under the covers and even managed to pull off my fleece pajama bottoms so that I awoke to find myself in nothing but a tight tank top and boy shorts underwear.

I grimace and groan as I drag my legs from under the covers and sit up. The wood floor is cold, and I inhale sharply as I tread to the bathroom for my morning ablutions.

I return to my room and quickly pull on some yoga shorts, a sports bra, and a tank top I grabbed from my bag and decide to find the gym in this behemoth mansion. I need to relieve some stress, and exercise fits the bill. I grab my iPod from my purse and strap the holster to my left bicep. I walk back into the bathroom and quickly pull my hair into a ponytail and pull a black sports headband over my head to keep the flyaways out of my face.

I make my way down to the main floor, where Josie has shown me the gym and other main areas of congregation and relaxation. As I step into the gym and spy myself in the mirrored walls, I exhale a breath of relief that I’m the only one here, and hopefully I will remain alone throughout my workout. I walk over to the cardio area, take a seat on a bicycle, and then scan through my playlist for something inspiring…Volbeat. Yes, that’s a good start.

As the song “Still Counting” starts playing, I begin pedaling. I sing the lyrics to myself and quickly find my rhythm. When I up the pace to challenging and begin the simulated incline, my muscles start to burn.
Damn, that feels good.
I am punishing my body for allowing Logan and his little bitch to upset me. It’s cathartic! Before long my head is bopping to the drumbeat, and I am in my zone.

After an hour or so of one of the most intense workouts of my life, the treadmill flashes END. I walk to the corner of the room and stretch my burning muscles and chug some water. I pour some over my head, careful not to get my earbuds wet, and relish the splash of ice-cold water against my hot skin.

When my eyes open, Logan is standing in front of me. His eyes are burning with desire, and his jaw twitches slightly as he takes me in from head to toe. I can feel my nipples hardening under his intense gaze. With nothing but a sports bra and a thin tank top between my breasts and him, my body is betraying my sudden lust with slutty delight. I narrow my eyes at him and pull the earbuds from my ears for the face-off.

“What do you want?” My voice comes out harsher than I intended, but I don’t feel remorseful. He flinches.

I want him to know the pain and discomfort he has caused me. He has dragged me halfway across the world and left me oblivious to what awaited me. Some protector he is turning out to be. Fuck him! And fuck his little bitch too! I don’t deserve this shit, and I’m not about to lie down and take it without a fight.

His face crumples at my harsh tone, and he runs both hands through his hair. He reaches to grab the water bottle from my hand, but I pull back. I don’t want him to touch me right now. I’m pissed, and I’m not about to forget why.

Logan steps back, giving me some space, and I walk over to the towel rack and blot the water and sweat from my chest, neck, and face. When I look at him again, he looks distraught and at a loss for what to say. He knows he fucked up. Now it’s a matter of what he’ll do to fix this mess between us. Our relationship is new and in the fragile stage where the unknown could destroy us. But the unknown isn’t what has caused this situation; it’s the hidden truths that he failed to inform me of before bringing me here. I can’t believe someone so intelligent could have been so damn stupid.

He shrugs at something and approaches me reluctantly. “Listen, I know I’ve made a real mess of things by not mentioning Kayla, but I honestly didn’t know she was going to be here.” He exhales sharply and finally looks me in the eye. “I care about you, Sulwen, and it pains me to no end that I’ve hurt you. However unintentional my actions, they are responsible for the pain I see in your eyes, and it’s killing me.” That same pain is reflected in his emerald eyes. He runs his hand through his hair again and reaches for me. I don’t step back this time, and he releases a relieved breath as his hands wrap around my shoulders and pull me into his warm chest.

“I’m sorry. So sorry. Last night was one of the worst nights of my life.” He pulls back and looks down to my tension-filled face and rains kisses on my forehead, the corners of my eyes, and my nose, and then gently pecks my moist lips. I feel the tension bleed from my body as if an artery has been pierced. I am deflating. All of the energy from my workout is leaving my body, and the bleak pain and hurt from last night is returning.

I want to forgive him. But what will I find he is hiding next?

“Logan. This is all new to me, and I can honestly say last night was like a knife through the heart.” I look down at my tennis shoes. I can’t look him in the eye and say what I need to say. “I love you, Logan. So much it hurts. I’m scared I’m going to lose you before I’ve ever really had you. And I can’t believe I’m saying this, but…I will
never
let that conniving bitch have you back. You’re mine!” I raise my chin and look into his beaming eyes. His lips are twitching, and I see amusement in the emerald depths of his gaze. “This isn’t funny, Logan!” I want to be angry, but I feel my lips twitching too. And then a grin spreads across my face, and he bursts into laughter. His lips are all over my face as he spreads little kisses over me like tiny flames sparking against my sensitive flesh.

“Baby, you make me so damn happy. God, you’re beautiful.” He pulls me deep into his chest, and his firm arms wrap around me. I melt into him and sigh in relief. He is mine. And I am his. A spark of hope flares brightly in my aching heart. “I will always be yours, Sulwen. Only yours, baby.” He pulls back again, and I look up at his glorious face. His lips are full and pouty, his jaw strong and angular, and his hair is wildly sexy and disarrayed. God, he is so damn gorgeous. His eyes narrow warmly, and his expression takes on an edge of seriousness. I look into his emerald eyes, and my chest clenches tight. His thumb brushes against my cheek, and he smiles down at me.

“I love you too, Sulwen. With everything I am and have to give. You’re mine! And Kayla will
not
come between us. What I had with her was nothing, and I haven’t been with her since we met. She was lying when she said I was with her after our weekend together. Please say you believe me. What we have is everything to me. I know I should have told you about her, but honestly, I was so wrapped up with what was going on between us that I forgot. I know it’s no excuse, but it’s the truth.”

I look down at my tennis shoes and mull over everything he’s just revealed. I can believe she would lie to have him back. I can even understand why he would have waited to tell me something like this—fear. I can completely understand fear. Fear of losing what we have. Fear of me never trusting him again. I look back up, and our eyes meet.

“I believe you, Logan.” A face-splitting grin eats up my face. I am glowing from the inside out. It’s funny how a moment can turn your entire world upside down. I hadn’t planned on telling Logan that I loved him, but my heart couldn’t stand it anymore.

He grins down at me as his arms squeeze me tight against him. He kisses my forehead and pulls me into a walk toward the door. “Follow me, I have something I want to show you.” Logan practically drags me behind him as we traverse across the grounds and head deep into the woods.

My chest and back have droplets of sweat running down my skin, and my face feels flushed from the long walk. It seems like we’ve covered miles, but I know it hasn’t been that great a distance. The forest is densely carpeted with fine moss that clings to the massive trees giving them an antiquated appeal. They remind me of an old man with scraggly hair sticking out everywhere. If you really look into the woods you can’t help but be overcome with a sense of enchantment. It’s magical in here.

By the time we reach our destination we’re both a little haggard looking from the hike. Logan pulls me up to his side and points at a circle of megaliths. He doesn’t have to tell me they’re special because their magic weaves through the air and causes the fine hair on my arms to rise with alarm. It feels like I’m standing in the middle of a nightclub with a rhythmic bass pounding the air against my skin. It’s like the heavy thud that accompanies a deep beat, only—silent.

“Do you feel it?” he asks as I look up to him in question.

“It’s magnificent.” I smile, and he nods his agreement. He motions for me to sit down on a carpet of moss and thick grass just inside the clearing. After taking my seat, Logan sits down next to me and pulls my hand into his. He has a thousand and one expressions crossing his face but after a few minutes his agitation seems to ease and a sense of calm envelops the both of us.

I lie back on the ground and look up to the darkening sky. Our hike has eaten up most of the daylight hours, and the night sky is quickly blanketing any remaining sunshine.

“Why did you bring me here?” I ask.

He settles in next to me and lays his head back on his forearm tucked behind his head. “Really, I just wanted to talk. Got some things on my mind that plague me day and night, and I honestly don’t know what to do with it all.” I squeeze his hand and allow him to collect his thoughts for a moment before asking him talk.

“Well, it’s just that…I’ve been doing a lot of thinking lately. You know, about the team and why we’re all doing what we’re doing. I mean, I know why we’re doing it, but not the driving force or motivation, or whether or not our hearts are in it.”

I run my thumb over the top of his hand. “Then just tell me why you’re doing it and whether or not your heart is in it. We’ll save the others for another day.” He looks over at me and briefly smiles, then looks back up at the evening sky, which has turned a deep shade of magenta as the sun sets and gives way to the moon.

“My mother and sister were killed. It was the single most horrific moment of my life.” His words escape on a single breath. If any other noise would have been present I would have struggled to understand him, but it’s deathly silent here, and I heard his words loud and clear. Their meaning sends an eerie chill down my spine. I look over and watch his Adam’s apple bob as he swallows deeply, fighting to control his emotions. I avert my eyes and stare at a star that is beginning to brighten as the sky darkens.

He sighs and then continues. “My father was a templar, and his father, and his father’s father. It feels like my family has fought this fight since the dawn of time. I couldn’t tell you how many loved ones I’ve buried, because they’re usually dead before anyone can form attachments. But I saw
them
die, and it haunts me Sulwen. It has soiled my very soul with wickedness, because all I want to do is kill every goddamn one of them.” He turns and meets my eyes. His are filled with unimaginable pain, and my heart aches as I stare back.

“Who killed them?” I don’t know why I ask, but it seems important that I know. Surely our enemy wears many faces. We can’t be waging a war against a single foe.

He turns his eyes back to the stars. “Narkarri. They’re a breed of vampire addicted to human blood. I had never heard of them before that night. Never thought such evil existed until I saw my mother’s throat ripped out with its razor sharp teeth.” His body shudders with the amount of pain reliving that night is costing him.

I reach over and caress his cheek. “You don’t have to tell me this Logan. I understand now. I do.” His jaw clenches. “No, you need to know that I’m going to be a little crazy when you’re out there. I have to protect you Sulwen. I have to.” He leans over and gently kisses my lips. Before the kiss can get too heated he pulls back and resumes his former position lying down beside me. Our fingers intertwine as we both stare into the black nothingness of the night.

“Why here? Why did you want to tell me this now Logan?” My voice is barely a whisper.

“Because this is where it began, and where I’ll make sure it ends, so that you’re safe for the rest of your days. I couldn’t protect them Sulwen, but I vow to never fail you the way I failed my mother and sister.” His stormy eyes zero in on mine. “This is the gateway to the Great Barrier, and this is where you’ll perform the strengthening at Samhain.”

I gasp and look over to the great pillars a few feet away from us. Their magic humming in the air is like a siren’s call to me. I can almost taste its very essence. My legs tingle, and my ears start to burn.

Logan pulls me to my feet, and I realize I must have zoned out because I didn’t even see him stand up. “C’mon. Let’s head back.” I curl under his arm, and we make our way back through the dense forest under the moonlight. It doesn’t escape my notice that Logan has just revealed a massive piece of who he is and what has made him the man he is today. As painful as it was for him to tell me, and for me to hear, I needed that connection with him. I need to know who he is and where he comes from…gruesome past and all. I’ll still love him with every breath I take.