Kaitlyn O'Connor (28 page)

Daeman was
not
pleased at the intrusion when he had gone to great lengths to find solitude to wrestle with the thoughts creating such havoc within him. That it was the very men responsible to a great extent for the chaos made their presence in the cargo bay where he had retreated all the more unwelcome and anger surged through him even before he noticed the tension in them and their expressions of anger.

That in itself created more conflict, however, when he did notice their aggression. Hope surged through him at once that Lau-ren had indicated in some way that she returned his interest and then died when he realized that it was most likely only the gift itself that had enraged them.

His anger intensified at that thought, churned higher by the reflection that they considered him unworthy of her interest simply by virtue of being Deisen, rather than Hirachi.

They would not have questioned his right to court her if he had been Hirachi!

He surged to his feet at that thought, angry enough to challenge all three at once, although a calmer mind would not have given him any assurance that he had a chance of triumphing over those odds. In truth, he might have entertained doubts that he could best any of the three alone.

He certainly would not have been so lost to all reason as to think he could best them all.

Indignation was piled upon the unpleasant certainty that they stood between him and the woman that he wanted, however, and topping that was the hope of avenging that frustration and purging the unfamiliar sense of defeat churning in his belly. He assumed a wide legged stance for battle, feeling a fierce satisfaction that they were unarmed as he was. It would be a battle with fists that would allow him to expend his own anger and aggression.

Dakaar and Balen slowed when they saw Daeman take up a fighting stance. As angry as they both were at what Kael had told them, he had announced his intentions first and they moved to a position to take part as spectators only. If Daeman felt up to challenging them when Kael was done with him,
then
they would have their chance to fight him.

Dakaar seriously doubted that he would and, even if he did, it was not likely that he would be in any condition to make it a fair fight. He would just have to be satisfied, he decided, with Kael being Lau-ren
‟
s champion—unless Daeman was stupid enough to challenge him himself.

Hope surged in him briefly, but he had not noticed that Daeman was stupid and it died almost as quickly as it had arisen.

Balen
‟
s thoughts were much the same, but he decided that he would merely wait for Daeman to recover and
then
challenge him. However it turned out, and he had little doubt that Kael would emerge the victor, he would not be satisfied until he had confronted Daeman himself.

Kael narrowed his eyes assessingly when he halted in front of Daeman instead of launching a blow to his face as he was more than half inclined to. It would be deeply satisfying to simply pound on him until he couldn
‟
t get up, but it would not give him the answers he sought.

Fortunately, the Deisen had learned the Hirachi language and there was some hope that they might come to an understanding. “Why did you give Lau-ren a gift?”

124

Daeman
‟
s face tightened. “Because I wished to,” he growled.

Kael
‟
s lips compressed with his own anger. “That is not the answer to the question I asked.”

“You have brought a great deal of company to ask your questions,” Daeman said sarcastically.

Kael lifted his brows. “You impugn the honor of the Hirachi. Is this because you have none yourself?”

Daeman
‟
s fury nearly blinded him at that. “You believe the Hirachi are the sole possessors of any sense of honor? Is that what this is about? You think I soil Lau-ren only by wanting her when I am not Hirachi?”

“Do you?”

Daeman lost his reason then. Uttering a bellow of rage, he clenched his hands into fists and threw his weight into the punch he swung at Kael
‟
s taunting face. His rage cost him as anger was inclined to do. Kael blocked the punch easily and retaliated with one of his own that sent Daeman staggering back several feet before he regained his balance. He was too enraged to feel more than the impact of the blow, however, and his failure to punch through Kael
‟
s defense only added frustration.

He surged forward again and for many moments they stood toe to toe, trading hammering blows with one another to the face and torso, blocking some and deflecting others with their meaty forearms. They fell back from one another after a few minutes to catch their breath for another round.

By that time, Daeman had expended much of his rage and some modicum of reason had reasserted itself, however.

“Was I right, Deisen? I will not allow you to soil her with your touch if you think only to take advantage of her!”

“By what right do you question
me
, Hirachi!” Deisen bellowed, furious all over again. “It is
her
decision!”

“She is my
shimone
!
That
gives me the right and honor of protecting her! I would take it if she had not given me that honor! She cannot defend her honor herself and I will allow no one to use her weakness against her! You are right that she alone has the right to choose, but I will see to it that she
does
choose!”

As angry as it made Daeman to have that accusation tossed at him, the last gave him pause.

He straightened, eyeing Kael assessingly. “You are saying that the choice is hers?”

“It is always the woman
‟
s choice whether to give herself or not. It is
hers
to give!”

Daeman studied him curiously. “Then I do not understand.”

Kael narrowed his eyes. “I believe you do, Deisen. I believe that you know that she is gentle of nature and generous of heart. The question is, is your intent to take advantage? Or do you mean to give, as well?”

“I gave her a gift.”

“Aye, you did, but do you believe that you have bought something with it as those others on the space station believed? You cannot
buy
her respect and admiration or her affection. You must earn it! And she will not
sell
anything else to you! She believed it a gift of generosity. You have made her believe that you are offering as much or more than you are asking for. Is that the case or not, Deisen?”

125

Daeman felt his face heat. He would almost have preferred to beat Kael unconscious or be beaten down himself to admitting to another warrior that he was captivated by a woman, weak where she was concerned. Truthfully, he had not entirely settled how he felt in his own mind. “I want her,” he growled finally. “That is enough.”

“That is
not
enough! If you only want to fuck, then you will do without or you will find a woman who can allow it without being wounded when you abandon her for another that catches your fancy!”

“The three of you share her!” he said angrily.

“You are wrong and you are more stupid than I thought!” Kael bellowed. “She cares for us—each of us! This is not a gift that is diminished or divided by numbers. She would care no more for me if she did not give to them. She cares no less because she also cares for them. What is mine is mine and for me alone! The only thing that we share is the time she gives us and that, too, is her gift, her decision. She is very careful to be just.

“You are even more wrong if you are so blinded by greed that you believe that there is some way that you can have her entirely to yourself. That will never happen. She is carrying a child now. When it comes, she will care for it, give to her child whatever time it needs—and it will have needs greater than yours—mine, or theirs.

“If you try to make her chose, if you demand more than she is willing or has to give….” He stopped shaking his head in disgust. “You will lose anything that you might gain if you cannot accept that you cannot own her. She is not a
thing
that you can possess, mindless and without a heart.
That
will always be divided between those she cares for.”

Daeman studied him uncomfortably, realizing that it was the truth, however unpalatable it was or contrary to the way he had always thought of mating. He had not found the woman that he wanted for his own before he was captured, but he had been searching. He had considered that when he found her, though, she would belong only to him. He did not believe, even though he felt, deep down, that Kael was right, that he could settle for that.

He did not
want
to share her! He wanted her to himself. It would tear his heart out each time she welcomed one of the others into her bed. He would imagine her giving to them what was his.

Even if that was not true.

It was eating him alive now, though.

Kael had lain with her or he would not know anything about the gift he had given Lau-ren.

For several moments, rage threatened to overcome reason again, but it was the very fact that it did, that he felt sick with jealousy, that he realized that was not going to go away if he tried to turn his back on her.

“I am not like you,” he said tightly. “I want all of her for myself!”

Some of the tension left Kael, although he was still braced to fight if necessary. He grimaced. “You are not as different as you think,” he said dryly. “It is not easy for us to allow reason to rule us and ignore our own instincts to try to eliminate any and all competition. We make it work because we have a common goal—to protect her—and the alternative is less palatable. You will not find a welcome from any of us, but we are bound by our honor and affection to defend her right to choose anyone she considers worthy…so long as we are certain that you
are
worthy and will not hurt her.”

Daeman swallowed with an effort. “I would not hurt her,” he said tightly. “I was as angry as you were that the others had!”

126

Kael studied him for a long moment and finally nodded. “I am satisfied.”

Daeman did not think he was particularly satisfied, but he did not challenge Kael again. He turned to look at Dakaar and Balen. Both gave him a long, hard look, seemed to wrestle with themselves and finally appeared to dismiss him as any threat. That realization thoroughly pissed Daeman off, but he thought, wryly, that he had enough aches and pains to satisfy him for the moment.

He was still angry enough when they left that he had no desire for company. He settled again, wrestling with his conflicting thoughts and urges. It would be better if he could simply put her from his mind, he knew, but could he? There were other women in the pods. They could not be released—might remain there forever if they could not find a way to feed them. They certainly could not release them when they could not adequately feed themselves.

Still, there was some chance that they might find a place to live as free men even if they did not find their way home. There were no Deisen women among them that he had seen, but there were Hirachi women and there were others like Lau-ren and Ka-ren. Mayhap he would find another who called to him to mate? Or mayhap the Hirachi would?

He tried for a while to convince himself that it was not only possible. It was likely. In his heart of hearts, though, he knew better. He had not found a woman before Lau-ren that had instantly made him think „mate
‟
. How likely was it, given that indisputable fact, that he would find another that would put her from his mind?

He would settle for another, he decided. He would find a woman who would share herself only with him, and he would take her as his mate. That was the most important thing, wasn
‟
t it?

That he would not have to share? It was not
as
important that she blinded him to any desire for another as it was that she was blinded to a desire for anyone else.

He was not entirely satisfied with that, but he realized that he simply was not going to be entirely satisfied. There was no point in belaboring something that was not within his power to change. He had already had to accept that Lau-ren cared for the Hirachi. He had not wanted to, but he had seen in her eyes that she did. If he could recover from that blow, then he could recover his heart and find another woman—and he would, by the gods!

* * * *

Loren woke with a sense of well being that she hadn
‟
t felt in a long time. Stretching luxuriously, she rolled closer to the warm form next to hers and stroked her hand over his big, hard body appreciatively. Disconcerted when her searching hand encountered a loincloth, she tipped her head to look up at Kael and discovered it was Dakaar watching her with a mixture of desire and wariness.

He lifted a hand and settled it along her cheek and shoulder. “You say take back,” he reminded her huskily.

She had, but she
‟
d long since decided that he
‟
d declined the offer—not that she intended to rescind the offer! It was disconcerting, to say the very least, to fall asleep in Kael
‟
s arms and wake up in Dakaar
‟
s, though, and she wasn
‟
t certain she especially appreciated that. In fact, she knew damned well she didn
‟
t.

“Brought ting special for you,” he added, apparently noticing that she was more than just a little disconcerted.

127

“I know. I felt it,” she retorted dryly.

He grinned a little sheepishly. “Udder ting,
shimone
!”

Appeased that he wasn
‟
t quite as certain of his welcome as she
‟
d first thought, she relaxed.

“Why don
‟
t you show me the „ting
‟
I already found first?” she suggested teasingly.

His eyes gleamed with a surge of hunger that was unmistakable. “I show you dat ting, you play wid?”

Loren sent him a look of promise. “Oh, I will,” she murmured huskily, still half teasing but feeling warmth already begin to flow through her like warm molasses at the look in his eyes. “I
‟
ll stroke it and kiss it and suck on it, if you like.”

He swallowed convulsively a couple of times. His hand drifted from her cheek to her belly.

“Like dat.” He pushed his fingers between her legs and traced her cleft to her sex. “Like better you put here.”

She leaned close enough to nibble on his chest and throat. “You
‟
re sure you don
‟
t want me to suck it?”

He dragged in a difficult, shaky breath. “Long time,
shimone,
” he said hoarsely. “Him spit and fall dead you do dat. No do you no good.”

Loren burst out laughing. She met his gaze. “I think I might be able to resuscitate him if he does.”

“Resus…? How do dat?” he asked, clearly confused about the word.

Loren nibbled at his chin. “Suck on him some more,” she murmured, her voice shaky with the effort to keep from chuckling again. “I think he might rise from the dead with a little love.”

He palmed the side of her face again. “Keep talking suck,
shimone,
him spit and we neider hab no fun,” he growled, planting his mouth firmly over hers and kissing her so fiercely her toes curled and her sex began quaking in demand.

She fed on the desperation in his touch, felt an answering echo surge to life so that she wanted to bypass any further foreplay and get straight down to the business of mounting the throbbing shaft she
‟
d discovered. He resisted every effort she made to accomplish her goal.

Although he made no attempt to stop her when she tugged at the ties of his loincloth until she
‟
d unveiled the monolith, he merely straightened, carrying it out of her reach every time she managed to grab hold of it.

“Dakaar,” she gritted out finally. “You said you wanted to put it inside me.”

He released the nipple he
‟
d been torturing reluctantly and muttered as he sought the twin,

“Do. Pleasure you first.”

“Pleasure me with it,” she demanded.

“No can hold dat long.”

“I
‟
m going to come without you if you don
‟
t put it in,” she threatened.

He jerked his head up to study her face. Apparently, he decided to take her word for it. He surged over her, pushing her thighs wide and planting the thick knob of flesh against the mouth of her sex. She
‟
d only been half serious about the threat, but she discovered she was a lot closer than she
‟
d realized. She began to come as soon as he
‟
d managed to root a path along her channel deep enough to reach the nerve bundle of her g-spot.

Uttering a sharp gasp that was part surprise, part ecstasy, she bucked against him. A hard 128

shudder went through him as the muscles along her channel began convulsing around his flesh.

Grunting as if he
‟
d had the breath knocked from him, he surged deeper the moment her grip on him loosened. His hips jerked, almost as if of their own accord. He sucked in a harsh breath and drove deeply again, withdrawing almost at once and plunging again and again to pump his seed into her.

As swift as the ride was, it was deeply satisfying and left Loren weak in the aftermath of her release.

Still quaking with the occasional tremor from his own release, Dakaar uttered a deep groan.

“Tol
‟
too long,” he muttered against the mattress.

“Mmm,” Loren murmured. “It felt good, though.”

He lifted his head and studied her cautiously. “Gib pleasure,
shimone
?”

She opened her eyes to study his worried face and caught it between her palms, dragging him closer for a kiss. “I told you I was ready to come.”

He scanned her face and finally relaxed. Shifting off of her, he gathered her close. “Do better next time. Promise.”

Loren smiled against his chest. “I don
‟
t know if I can handle better. That was pretty intense.”

“Make come twice,” he threatened.

Loren decided not to respond to that. She knew he couldn
‟
t, but she didn
‟
t mind him trying.

He showed her he could.