Karma's a Bitch (3 page)

“Nish, alright, peep this,” Tony said, confident that he was getting through to her. “Punk’d about to go off TV right now. This was the one where they punked Omarion, Ashanti and that dude, uh, Bro-man. Tell me how I know that if I wasn’t watching it since I came home? Huh?”

Quanisha leaned forward past Tony’s frame and looked at the TV, then stood back with her weight on one leg and her arms crossed.

“You gotta stop this shit. Always trynna accuse me of some shit. I’m out there trynna make a couple dollars to help you with the bills and I gotta come home to this. Look, I even got something for you.” He reached into his pocket for the $80 he had taken from Keisha. He counted off $50 and waved it in her face. “I helped Jimmy out today and was
gonna
go get you that designer perfume shit you was bitchin’ about this morning, but since you wanna
keep
bitchin’…”

A smile grew across Quanisha’s face and she snatched the $50 out of his hand.

“Tony, you was gonna go get me my perfume? That is soooo sweet,” she said, melting to the gesture. She opened her arms and embraced Tony in a long hug. Tony smiled a devious smile mixed with both relief and the satisfaction of knowing that for the 3rd time that day, he was going to have sex.

* * *

Later that night, after a long session with Quanisha, Tony suddenly awoke from his sleep and had the overwhelming urge to pee. He eased himself out of the bed from underneath Quanisha, who only shifted slightly before resuming her loud snores.

Tony made his way to the bathroom and lifted the toilet seat cover quickly, without bothering to even shut the door or cut the light on. He was still half asleep, and he had to go badly. Surpisingly, at first nothing came out, so he had to jingle and shake a little. Finally a stream came.

“Ow!” he shrieked and winced in pain at the burning sensation he felt. ‘Half asleep’ changed to ‘fully awake’ real fast. He held it in again and stood in confusion and disbelief. Still having to go, he reached over, closed the bathroom door and switched on the light which was also wired to the fan causing a whirring sound to fill the bathroom. He let loose again and felt the same horrible feeling.

“Owwwwwwwwwww shit!” he squealed like a girl, as quietly as possible and endured the pain that seemed to last an eternity. Once finally drained, he looked down at his penis which was red and swollen at the tip with wide eyes.

“Oh fuck no! I got burnt!” he groaned. After a long inspection of his private area, he closed the toilet seat cover and sat down.
How could I let this happen?
he thought as he looked back down at his opening, which was now secreting a yellow puss-like fluid. “NO!” he half whispered, half yelled, as he swiped all of the products from the sink onto the floor angrily.

“That bitch! Keisha! Dammit, I knew I shoulda cut her ass loose. Long time ago!” he hissed and shook his head, not even considering the fact that he had slept with at least two other women that week alone before her. Michelle, and Zora…. one of which he hadn’t even used a condom with.

“Tony? You alright in there?” Quanisha said sleepily in her normal loud voice from the bedroom. Tony quickly reached for the toilet paper and wiped his penis off, then put it back in his shorts.

“Yea, I’m fine. Go back to sleep,” he said, slowly remembering that he hadn’t used a condom with Quanisha that night, either.

Chapter 2

That next day, Tony managed to pull himself out of the bed and out the door at the wee hour of 12 in the afternoon. He was headed to Upper Darby to consult with his boy Terrance. Tony had grown up with Terrance from the age of nine years old when they met in elementary school. Tony was a hard headed young boy who was constantly making appearances in the principal’s office, and Terrance was a promising young athlete who managed to make the varsity high school basketball while still in junior high. They complemented each other in a way. Terrance had high hopes of making it to the NBA, and was shuttled off to Duke immediately upon graduating from high school with a full athletic scholarship. Terrance always had a good head on his shoulders, and knew the importance of getting some experience and higher education under his belt before making an attempt at the NBA draft.

Unfortunately, before the beginning of Terrance’s senior year in college, Terrance’s left knee completely gave out on him, an injury that ran in his family. His father had had very bad knees, as well as two of his cousins and his great-grandfather, as he was told. His play was very spotty his last year of college, and no recruiter would even look his way after a while – he was too big a risk. Terrance’s good sense saved his ass, as he had gotten a free college education, graduated with decent grades and managed to get a lucrative job as a junior brand manager at R.K. Watts and Associates, a company owned by the brother of his college assistant coach. The Duke coaches loved and took good care of Terrance, even after his injury, because they saw that he had vision beyond his career as an athlete, something they rarely saw in any of their other players.

Despite all of Terrance’s accomplishments and drive to go forward in life, Tony had successfully prevented his friend’s positivity from rubbing off on him in any way, shape, or form.

Terrance had moved back to the Philadelphia area three years earlier after graduating to start his new consulting gig, which was located in Dover, Delaware. His job allowed him a flex schedule; he worked 4 days a week, 10 hours a day, Fridays off. He bought a house in Springfield, PA, far enough from the drama of the actual city, but close enough to see his mother and sister on a regular basis. Tony pulled his light blue Chevy Cavalier up to the brick house on the corner and beeped his horn several times to purposely annoy his long-time friend.

“Yeeee-owww!” Terrance finally came to the door and outside without missing a beat. Tony got out of the car to greet his friend and they met midway with a soul handshake, then a half hug. “I knew that had to be yo ass, leanin’ on the horn like that. Excuse me, but this a ‘residential community.’ You know we can’t be having that out here.” Terrance said the last part in an official tone with a laugh.

“Yea whatever, what these crackas gonna do? Come whoop my ass? I think not,” Tony scoffed as they made their way into Terrance’s comfortable house.

“You want something to drink?” Terrance asked walking into the kitchen and opening his refrigerator.

“Yea, a beer if you got it. Yo Ran, I know you be running through these white broads over here. How many you hit so far?” Tony asked mischeviously from his seat on the living room couch, knowing that his friend had done no such thing. Terrance was a little slow when it came to the ladies. He tended to clam up around them, and he had been on a ‘black power’ kick ever since his second year in college. So Terrance romancing the white women around his way was highly unlikely.

“Man please, you know that ain’t me,” Terrance responded as he walked into the living room where his friend was already relaxing with his feet up. He handed Tony the beer and flopped into his soft leather loveseat. He had been watching the scores from the previous night on ESPN.

“Dallas beat New York? No way,” Tony said as he watched the football scores flash on the screen. He popped open his beer and took a long sip.

“Yup, preseason. Good game too, you missed it.”

“Well, Quanisha don’t have the satellite channels like you do, just basic cable.”

“Damn! Just basic? Why don’t you chip in a couple dollars so ya’ll can get the Dish? It’s only like $40 a month.”

Tony was just silent and ignored his friend’s question as he eyed the baseball scores. He took another sip of his beer.

“Where you coming from?” Terrance asked after a few minutes.

“From the crib.”

“So what brings you over here? No skirts to chase?” Terrance chuckled, but was secretly a little envious of his boy’s girl-getting skills.

“Man please, I don’t even be all about that no more, I’m focused.”

“Focused on what?” Terrance asked incredulously.

“On my rap thing nigga,” Tony responded, slightly annoyed, as if Terrance should have already known. “I know some dudes that got a studio down North Philly who said they can get me in there for a couple hours.”

“Oh really,” Terrance said, disinterested. Tony had been talking about his impending rap career since they were youngsters playing on the monkey bars.

“Yup,” Tony responded confidently. “You know I already got two tracks laid, me and Rob gonna try to get at least three more done.” Rob, a self-proclaimed genius when it came to beats, was his partner in crime when it came to music. Despite Rob’s ‘talent’ most people laughed off his beats as garbage behind his back. Everybody except Tony who thought they were the best thing since sliced bread.

“Man, when you gonna get a job Tone? You gotta be able to make money in the process of pursuing your dream. You know, so that you can eventually invest in it.”

“Yea yea, I’m working on it. I’m trying to get this job at UPS,” Tony lied. He still hadn’t made so much as a finger lift towards calling the job line at UPS.

“Well that’s good. At least you trying, I guess,” Terrance said, unsure of the validity of Tony’s words. He knew Tony by now, and that most of the time the words that came out of his mouth were pure bullshit. Terrance didn’t know why he even tolerated being around Tony anymore; Tony was obviously not on his level of thinking.

“Yea. Listen man. I gotta ask you something in confidence. You my best boy from way back in the day, so I feel like you the only one I can trust with this information. Probably the only one that can help too. This is between us.”

Terrance perked up at hearing this and leaned forward in his seat. “Yea man, you know it. What’s up?”

Tony let out a long loud sigh before continuing. He let a few more seconds pass, the thought hanging thick in the air. He considered what he was about to reveal to his friend a few more seconds, and then decided this was Terrance, his boy. “I think I caught the clap or something from this hoodrat chick I been messin’ with.”

“The ‘clap’?” Terrance repeated, struggling not to laugh. “What the hell is that?”

“I don’t know man. All I know is my shit is burning, bad. I held my pee in this morning til Quanisha left so I could scream in the bathroom. That’s how bad this shit is man. I’m not even playing,” Tony said shaking his head and looking at the TV.

Terrance looked at his friend and instantly felt sorry for him. “Did you see a discharge?”

“Yeah.”

“You might have chlamydia, or gonorrhea. You need to go to a clinic man, they got medicine for that.”

“For real? Do it get rid of it?”

“I don’t know for sure. But it definitely stops the burning and shit.”

“You mean they don’t have a pill that cures it? I gotta deal with this shit forever?” Tony asked with a look of incredulity on his face.

“Naw you don’t have to deal with the burning sensation forever, but you do have to keep taking that medicine to stop it from coming back. Some of them diseases do stay wit you though.”

“You’re kidding me right?”

“Naw man, but it ain’t the end of the world, you just gotta stay on top of it. That’s all,” Terrance said searching for the right words to say at the moment.

Tony was silent for what seemed like an eternity. Terrance was now avoiding him with his eyes and looking in every direction but Tony’s. Terrance thought about whether his friend was having unprotected sex with Quanisha, who was also a good friend of his from childhood.

Suddenly Tony shot up from his seat. “Shit!” he yelled, balling his hands into fists and shaking them firmly in front of him. He ran his hand over his spongy hair which was still badly in need of a cut. When he looked out the window his expression seemed to change a bit.

“Aiight man, I gotta be out.” Tony headed down the short flight of stairs to the front door without even giving his boy a pound.