Katy's Homecoming (16 page)

Two girls came up beside her, and Katy moved aside so the girls could go on in. One of them paused and smiled at Katy. “Aren’t you coming?” Katy drew in a deep breath and nodded. She followed the girls in. Bryce was already there, sitting at the far side of the circle beside a couple of boys. The chairs on his right side were empty. Katy paused again, looking at the empty chair next to Bryce, hoping he might pat the seat in invitation like he’d done at other times.

His hand didn’t move. Katy sighed. Then Shelby bustled in and linked arms with Katy. “C’mon,” she said, drawing Katy into the circle. “Let’s sit.” She tugged Katy across the room and flopped into a chair, leaving the one between herself and Bryce open. Katy looked once more at Bryce.
His face flushed red, and his gaze bounced all around the room as if he didn’t know where to look. And for some reason, Katy decided not to avoid him. She turned and sat in the chair between him and Shelby.

Shelby giggled and nudged Katy with her elbow. She whispered,“You go, girl!”

Fire rushed from Katy’s neck to her forehead, and she knew her face was beaming bright red, but she didn’t care. She and Bryce could just sit there red-faced together. He was acting like an idiot, avoiding her instead of treating her the way he had before, and she wouldn’t let him get away with it anymore. One of them had to be normal, so it might as well be her.

Mrs. Parks held her hand out to one of the older boys. “The floor is yours, Greg. What did you prepare for us this morning?”

The students took turns leading the study. The school rules said any kind of religious group had to be student led. Mrs. Parks attended so the study had an adult sponsor, but she never contributed. Katy noticed Mrs. Parks often smiled and nodded, though, offering approval of their discussions.

Greg held his open Bible in his hands and rested his elbows on his knees. “I’m gonna read the first part of Romans twelve.” Bent forward with his head down, he read with a muffled voice, and Katy had to focus hard to hear. Even though he read from a different translation than the one Katy’s church used, she recognized the verses. The leaders in her church had taught from Romans twelve more than once. She could recite some of the passage from the King James Version by memory. Verse two formed
easily in her head.
“And be not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God.”

Greg finished reading. Still hunched forward, he lifted his head slightly to look at the others. “I’m no preacher, but I think what the writer was trying to say is it’s easy to get all caught up with stuff in the world and forget what we’re all about. Christians are supposed to be all about pleasing God instead of ourselves. The stuff we think about the most — that’s the stuff that becomes most important to us.”

“I agree,” a girl named Lily said. “I mean, it’s like one of your friends gets the newest cell phone and all of a sudden your phone isn’t good enough because you can’t surf the Web
and
talk to somebody at the same time. Why is that so important?”

“‘Cause the conversation might be boring — surfing the Web gives you something else to do,” one of the boys quipped, and a few students chuckled.

Lily made a face. “You know what I’m trying to say. Sometimes we get all hung up on having the
newest
and
best
and then we can’t be satisfied with anything because there’s always something new and better out there somewhere. I think God wants us to be content with what we’ve got instead of always wanting more and better.”

“Television commercials sure don’t help,” Shelby said as she sent a disgusted look around the circle. “Advertisers’ main goal is to convince everybody they can’t be happy unless they have the latest gadgets and name-brand clothes. It’s ridiculous.”

Brooke, the girl sitting next to Lily, slumped in her chair and folded her arms over her chest. “But what’s wrong with wanting nice stuff? It’s not a sin or anything to look nice or have nice things.” She sounded a little defensive. Katy looked at Brooke’s stylish clothes and the cool-looking cell phone resting in her lap. Brooke probably thought the others were picking on her.

Greg spoke again. “I don’t think there’s anything wrong with having nice things. That’s not what I’m saying. Having stuff isn’t the problem. Wanting stuff over wanting to please God is what’s wrong.”

“Yeah.” Bryce squirmed, making the metal folding chair squeak. “Like the verse said, conform your thoughts to what God wants for you instead of what you want for yourself. Then you’ll stay in His will.” He shifted his head slightly, and his gaze met Katy’s as he finished. “Maybe having new and best is God’s will for you ‘cause He knows you’ll use it in good ways. And maybe
not
having new and best is God’s will for you. But you have to figure that out before you start grabbing up all the stuff the media tries to tell you will make you happy.”

Katy rarely contributed to the discussions, but she found herself adding,“Our elders teach us the only way anyone can find true contentment and joy is to serve God first, then others, and yourself last.”

“That’s really hard,” Brooke said with a sigh.

Katy nodded. It was hard. When she’d spent all of her time in Schellberg, with only her family and fellowship members, she hadn’t thought much about the things of the world. But now that she was spending her days with kids who owned lots of things, she found herself wondering
what it was like to have a fun car like Shelby’s or a cell phone like Brooke’s.
And a sequined homecoming dress like the other girls.
She gulped, and her ears heated.

Mrs. Parks rose. “You’ve had a great discussion today, with lots to think about. Maybe we can have Greg read some more from Romans twelve next week?” She waited until Greg nodded. “But for now, we need to pray and then send you to your first-hour classes.”

The kids all stood and held hands. Katy bowed her head, but she didn’t really listen to Greg’s prayer. She kept thinking about the good, acceptable, perfect will of God, and whether she wanted to follow God’s will more than she wanted to be like the other girls in the school.

“Amen,” Greg finished, and the circle broke apart. The kids became typical high school kids again, talking, laughing, and jostling each other as they poured into the hallway. Shelby and Katy got separated, and Katy found herself walking next to Bryce. Her tummy fluttered with nervousness, being so close to him after days of staying away from each other. She wondered if boys got tummy flutters too. She sneaked a glance at him and noticed his face looked a little red. Maybe his stomach was as trembly as hers.

She cleared her throat and braved a raspy whisper. “Did you get my note?”

He didn’t look at her, but the red in his cheeks brightened. He nodded.

“Did it make you mad?”

He shook his head.

“Then why haven’t you, you know, talked to me this week?”

Bryce stopped, so Katy did too. The kids behind them almost plowed into them. Grumbling, the others stepped around them. Bryce scooted over against the wall, and Katy followed. He set his lips in a fierce scowl. He’d said he wasn’t mad. But at that moment, he looked very angry.

“I guess I was mad,” he admitted,“but not at you. At myself. For being so stupid.”

Katy tipped her head, waiting for him to continue. Other kids flowed past them, their voices jumbling together into a mindless clamor of noise.

“When I asked you to go to homecoming with me —” He paused and swallowed.

Suddenly Katy knew what he meant by being stupid. He hadn’t been stupid to ignore her; he’d been stupid to ask her out in the first place. Her nose and eyes began to sting, and she quickly backed away. “I have to get to class.”

“Katy, wait!”

She heard Bryce’s call, but she darted between other students. Ignoring their protests, she hurried on, determined to escape Bryce and the stabbing pain in her heart. She left Bryce behind, but the hurt stayed with her.

Katy made sure she didn’t look around the rooms during her morning classes. She didn’t want to accidentally make eye contact with Bryce. She avoided him in the hallway by rushing out of the room before anybody else, and she kept her face aimed straight ahead. By lunch she felt — borrowing one of Gramma Ruthie’s expressions — like a wrung-out mop. She got her tray and fell into her seat at the table with Cora and Trisha. They took one look at her and both exclaimed,“What is
wrong
with you?”

Hearing them speak in unison with exactly the same vocal inflection should have been hilarious. Katy wished she could laugh. But she couldn’t manage even a little giggle. She sighed and told them the truth. “Bryce told me he’d been stupid to ask me to the dance.”

“Oh, Katy,” they chorused. Cora reached across the table to pat Katy’s wrist. Trisha sat looking at her in sympathy. Katy appreciated their kindness, but it didn’t erase the pain Bryce had inflicted.

“Yeah. Stupid.
Stupid
to be with me. Just stupid.” Katy repeated the words even though saying them was like
rubbing salt in a wound. But for some reason, she had to say it again and again. “I mean, what boy with any sense at all would want to go out with ‘the little Amish girl’?”

“You aren’t Amish,” Cora said.

Trisha released a huff. “She knows that. But I’ve heard the kids call her Amish. I think they do it to be rude.” She looked at Katy. “Don’t let Bryce bother you, Katy. He’s stupid, all right, for being such a … a
boy.”
She made
boy
sound like a dirty word. “As for homecoming, you just wait. Lots of kids go without dates. And when you show up in Cora’s dress, your hair all done up and everything, every boy in the school will want to ask you out on a date. Katy, you really are a knockout in that dress.”

Cora nodded enthusiastically. “Oh, yeah, and then Bryce’ll kick himself for being such a jerk.” She waggled her eyebrows, smirking impishly. “Of course, it’ll be too late, ‘cause you’ll be having a blast with all the other guys.”

Katy sniffed. “You think so?”

“I
know
so,” Trisha said. “I mean it, last Saturday when you put that dress on —” She and Cora exchanged a quick look. “We talked about it all the way back to Salina. Even Jewel said she couldn’t believe the transformation, and you know how hard it is to coax a compliment out of her.” Trisha grinned. “Girlfriend, you are going to knock everyone’s socks off!”

Throughout the afternoon, Katy had a hard time paying attention to her teachers. So many thoughts tumbled in her mind she could hardly keep them straight. The verse from Romans about not conforming to the world slammed against Cora and Trisha’s exclamation that Bryce would kick himself when he saw her in the emerald dress. Then
that thought got knocked aside by a wave of hurt — Bryce thought being with her was stupid.
Stupid, stupid, stupid. Being stupid is even worse than being weird.
Katy wanted to forget what Bryce had said — even forget that she’d ever liked him — but she couldn’t. How does a person turn off feelings? Impossible.

Last hour arrived, and even though Katy felt sick to her stomach, she knew she couldn’t skip forensics again. They had a tournament, and she needed to practice. She’d just have to do what she’d done all day and not look at Bryce. It was harder in forensics, but she could do it if she made up her mind. Hadn’t Aunt Rebecca told her from the time Katy was little that Katy had the hardest head of any of the Lambrights? Aunt Rebecca hadn’t meant it as a compliment, but Dad said being hardheaded could be a good thing if a person set her head in the right direction.

So I can manage to look past Bryce—the same way he’s been looking past me all week. Two can play the game as easily as one.
She entered the forensics classroom with her chin high and her shoulders square.

Mr. Gorsky greeted her with a smile. “Kathleen, I’m glad to see you’re feeling better.”

“Yes, sir, I am,” she said, trying to mean it.

“Would you like to present first today since you missed the chance to perform on Monday?”

Katy’s stomach began to whirl, but she swallowed hard and nodded. “Sure. No problem.”

When everyone settled into their seats, Katy stepped to the front of the classroom.
Performance mode,
she reminded herself. She clasped her hands behind her back, looked straight at her audience — and locked eyes with
Bryce. “I-into every … every life —” She gulped. She couldn’t remember her speech.

After a few uncomfortable seconds of silence, Mr. Gorsky cleared his throat. “Kathleen?”

She jerked to look at her teacher.

“Would you like to start again?”

She nodded.

“All right. Take a deep breath, gather your thoughts. You’ll be fine.”

Katy did exactly as her teacher directed. She closed her eyes briefly, drew in a mighty breath, and formed the speech in her head. When she opened her eyes again, she made sure her face was pointed away from Bryce. This time her speech flowed without any problems. The others applauded, the way they always did when someone finished. The applause for the popular kids was always more enthusiastic, but Katy tried not to let it bother her.

“Critiques,” Mr. Gorsky said, stepping up beside Katy. Several kids put their hands in the air, and Mr. Gorsky began calling names so they could share their thoughts on Katy’s presentation. Katy listened politely, agreeing with some of the comments and disagreeing with others. She didn’t always make the changes her classmates suggested, but she always did what Mr. Gorsky instructed. He knew better than anyone else.

“All right, last comment,” Mr. Gorsky said. “Bryce.”

Katy’s pulse sped up. If Bryce criticized her, her hard-headedness might not be strong enough to hold her heart together.

“I just wanted to say Katy does a good job of making eye contact with the audience. When she presents, it’s like
she’s just sitting and talking directly to you, so her speech is very engaging.”

Bryce used words that Mr. Gorsky had used in the past. Katy didn’t want Bryce’s comments to mean more than her teacher’s did, but a part of the irritation she had carried all day melted with Bryce’s compliment. Her gaze locked on Bryce’s solemn face. “Thank you.” Then she glanced across the others in the room so they would know she meant them too.