Kay Springsteen (51 page)
Authors: Something Like a Lady
“
The dowager probably thinks I learned my poor manners from my mother,
”
Annabella muttered, kicking at the edge of the hearth. Thank heaven
s
Jon, ever the peacemaker, had requested a private meeting with Mr. Stowe that he claimed couldn
’
t wait, and the men had departed before the pudding was served.
A soft knock made her heart thump faster.
Jon.
“
Come in.
”
The door opened slowly, and her spirits plummeted.
“
Mother. Is something wrong?
”
Still garbed in the gray silk gown she
’
d worn to dinner, Regina closed the door and walked
into the room with measured steps
.
“
No, darling. I just needed to make sure you
’re
well
.
”
A smiled played across her lips as she sat on the edge of the bed
, but it didn
’
t reach her eyes. They were sad, faraway… and tears glistened in the green pools, threatening to spill any second.
Annabella sat next to her and squeezed her mother
’
s hand.
“
I
’
m fine. Really. I only have a scratch. No real harm done.
”
Regina tilted her head.
“
I wasn
’
t speaking of Mr. Dawes.
”
A tear trickled down her cheek.
“
I
’
m referring to your forced marriage. I swore I
’
d never — that my daughter wouldn
’
t—
”
She averted her face as she wiped her tears.
She must be jesting. She
’
s upset because I was forced to marry?
“
Isn
’
t that why you were sending me to London?
” Annabella winced at the coldness in he
r voice and softened her tone.
“
To find a husband?
”
Regina jerked her head around. Anguish marred her beautiful face.
“
So you could find a husband of your
choosing
. A man you
’
d be happy with. I never wanted you to marry someone against your will.
”
Her word
s came out
broken
, filled with emotion.
Anger shot through Annabella and clenched around her middle like a vise. Her mother truly must have had the shortest memory in the world.
Didn
’
t want to force me to marry someone against my will, indeed. What did she think threatening to make me marry Vicar Hamilton if I didn
’
t go to London was, if not forcing me to marry against my will?
She opened her mouth to tell her mother just that. But a memory long forgotten crossed her mind. A memory of her father… his sadnes
s. No. Not sadness…
“
Your mother had no choice but to marry me, you see. I didn
’
t give her one, her father didn
’
t give her one. And… I suppose you could say fate stole her choice as well.
”
She
’
d always thought the pain etched across Papa
’
s face had been sadness, and she had blamed her mother for it. But for some reason, he
’
d been consumed with guilt. Because he
’
d made Regina sad?
Her mother bowed her head and began crying softly. All those years, Annabella had resented her mother. Blamed Regina for the lost
time with Papa.
And Mother let me. Because she loves me enough to let me blame her rather than tarnish Papa
’
s memory.
Annabella scooted forward and wrapped her arms around her mother.
“
None of this was your doing. I deserv
e
the prison I created with my childish behavior.
”
Regina tightened her hold.
“
My darling Annabella. I shall never forgive myself.
”
Annabella offered a weak smile.
“
At least Juliet got her prince. That
’
s worth any pain I
’
ve endured.
”
“
If only that were true. You don
’
t know, Annabella. You don
’
t know the misery and heartbreak of an unwanted marriage.
”
Yes I do. I lived it with you and Papa.
“
I understand better than you think.
”
Agonizing pain gripped her chest and she began to tremble.
Was
her marriage to Jon unwanted? Unplanned, yes. But h
ad it truly been against her will? Worse still, would Jon come to feel about her the way Mother had about Papa because he
’
d been forced to marry her? Would they end up unhappy, living separate lives, hating each other? She couldn
’
t bear to spend her life i
n a loveless marriage like that of her parents.
He
’
s never said he loves me.
“
It
’
s not too late for you.
”
Regina dashed at her tears.
“
The good thing is, very few people are aware of your marriage. Grey has enough influence to see it quietly annulled.
”
Annulled? Leave my husband?
Wasn
’
t that what she
’
d wanted? She
’
d been furious at Jon for letting her believe they were going to London, only for him to bring her to Coventry. And now it made sense. He had to prove he was married to collect his inheritance.
“
…Juliet is worried about you as well. And I know you don
’
t want to miss her wedding. Please, darling, come with me to London. Let
’
s put all this behind us.
”
A pang of sadness squeezed her heart.
Would
Jon now want to end their marriage? Want her to leave? T
echnically he
’
d fulfilled the requirements his grandfather had set out in his will, and so he didn
’
t have to stay married to her. In truth, she had no way of knowing if he wanted her as a wife.
And if I stay I
’
ll never know. He
’
s obligated to provide for me as his wife.
“
I do need to make amends with Juliet. It would serve me right if she never spoke to me again.
”
Perhaps distance would put things in perspective. Maybe Jon would be able to use his inheritance to start the shipping company he
’
d dreamed about
.
“
We need to
travel
to London posthaste.
”
Regina brushed at a nonexistent spot on her gown.
“
I
’
d like to leave first thing in the morning.
”
I
’
m supposed to practice shooting from the tower with Gran.
But she couldn
’
t let Juliet down. She
’
d been unfair to
her dear friend. She had to make amends right away.
Annabella sighed.
“
I suppose that
’
s best.
”
“
Of course it is. This will all be but a memory before you know it. We
’
ll go home to Wyndham Green and forget this ever happened. That you ever had to marry against your will.
”
“
Very well, Mother.
”
Annabella released a sigh. She might leave, but she
’
d be leaving pieces of her heart behind. And she
’
d never forget any of it. Didn
’
t want to.
“
I owe it to Juliet
.
”
I owe it to Jon to offer him his freedom.
Regina kissed her on the cheek.
“
I think we both need to get some rest. We have a long journey ahead of us.
”
Annabella nodded.
“
What
’
s this?
”
Regina placed her hand under Annabella
’
s chin and lifted her face.
“
You aren
’
t fretting about facing the duke, are you?
”
The duke?
Had Annabella not been so numb, she
’
d have laughed out loud. The duke was the last thing on her mind.
Jon…
“
It
’
s been a long day, Mother. I
’
m just overtired. I
’
ll be fine once I get some sleep.
”
Regina placed a soft kiss on Annabella
’
s forehead.
“
Sleep well, my darling.
”
Annabella stared at the shadows the fire sent to play on the walls. A log cracked, spitting embers into the air.
“
Jon,
”
she whispered, wishing she dared call out to him and beg him to love her. Was she so unlovable that all she
’
d been good for was to gain his inheritance?
She touched his ring where it rested between her breasts. She should probably give it back to him.
****
Jon eased his grip on the door latch and curled his fingers into his palm.
Prison… the prison she’d created…
Tha
t was it then. The end of things before they’d truly begun.
So that was what loss felt like. The soul-searing pain that rippled through him left ice in its wake. Then… nothing. Why had he stood there eavesdropping on Annabella’s conversation with her mothe
r? He should have stepped away from the door, not listened in.
How could he ask her to stay, to make their marriage work, when she only wanted to go home? When she considered marriage to him a
prison?
He couldn’t. He never should have forced her hand in the first place. The devil of it was, he’d finally found the one woman he’d looked for his entire life — and she was the one woman in the world who couldn’t seem to tolerate marriage to him.
After the night before, he’d hoped…
Three soft taps on the door between their bedchambers interrupted the silence. Jon stiffened. Before he could even answer, the door was pushed open.
“Jon?”
Her hair fell like a curtain around her shoulders. Her white nightdress was nearly sheer against the soft orange light streaming in
from her room.
She looks like an angel… a beautiful, glowing angel.
Her face was shadowed — why had he not lit a lamp? — the dying fire provided too little illumination to see her expression. But the way she hesitated told him what was on her mind. Even if he hadn’t heard her answer to her mother’s pushing, he’d have known from her hesitation at his door.
He forced steadiness he didn’t feel into his words. “So… You’re leaving tomorrow, then.”
Her body jerked with the words as if each one was a bullet, and remorse for his chilly tone swamped him.
“It… seems best I do, yes.” She lowered her chin nearly to her chest and shuddered.
“Yes, the sooner affairs return to normal, the better.” He glanced at the brandy decanter on his sideboard, knowing he’d pay a visit to that later.
“Oh… yes… I suppose you’re right.” Her hands trembled as she moved them to the opening of her nightdress and drew out the ribbon around her neck. “I expect you’ll want this back, then.”
Her wedding ring. The air seemed to hang up in his lu
ngs where his heart squeezed against them.
“You’re still my wife… at least until—”
Until you
’
re not.
“You may find you have need of it.” He retreated a step. She was leaving by her choice. If he embraced her, however briefly, he’d go mad when it came time
to let her go.
“You should keep it.”
She inhaled sharply but then tucked the ring away. “Fair enough.”
“Annie… if it means anything, I’m…”
Sorry.
“I’ve enjoyed our time together.”
“I understand why you did it,” she said evenly, using one hand to push back the hair cascading over her shoulder. “Why you married for your inheritance. You have a dream and I was—” She thrust her chin forward. “I want you to know… you have a wife, you’ve fulfilled the terms so… I won’t upset your plans. I hope you’ll start that shipping company.”
Jon frowned. “Do you honestly believe I married you for my inheritance? If you believe nothing else, please believe that wasn’t my motivation — not in the least. I could have married any one of a number of eligible women at any time to receive my inheritance.” He shrugged and sent her a feeble smile. “You are the only woman I’ve ever met who made marriage seem a good idea.”
She closed the distance between them. Or perhaps he did. He only knew she was suddenly molded tightly against him, her warmth reaching out, twining through him. He inhaled and the scent of citrus exploded, boiled through his senses. She’d rinsed her hair with lemon juice. He’d never again smell that fruit and not think of her.
She trailed kisses along his throat, pushed aside his shirt collar and used her tongue to toy with the sensitive skin just in front of his shoulder. With a groan, Jon combed his hands through her hair, tilted her head back, and then sought her lips. She opened to him at once and he wasted no time taking what she offered.
She
’
s still my wife,
he reminded himself as he lifted her and carried her to his bed. If they had but one more night, it would have to last him a lifetime.
Annabella wrapped her free arm around his neck and went on kissing him. Her gentle sighs settled over him like a soft blanket as he followed her down to the bed.
Some time later, Jon pulled the covers over both of them, though he scarcely felt any chill. Annabella ran her foot along his leg. “We wasted so much time, you and I. And the irony of it all is that if I’d just gone to London as my mother requested, there would have been no deception between us and we might have had a chance…”
The statement was so sad, perhaps even more so because he’d wondered what would have happened had she attended her own birthday dinner at Grey’s. “Or we might not have seen each other at all… not the way we did at the cottage. Or here. Can you honestly say you would have given me a second glance if you’d met me in London?” He picked up one of her curls and wound it around his finger. “Just two people politely greeting one another in passing… Besides…” He gave the curl a gentle tug. “Grey certainly wouldn’t be marrying Juliet—”
Annabella shifted slightly away from him, shaking her head. “Silly! We don’t know that.” She outlined his lips with her thumb and then flopped down again to rest her head on his chest with a sigh.
Jon kissed the top of her head.
Except we do.
“
You will never lack for anything, Annie. I swear.
”
I love you.
“
Ummm,
”
she said, her body softening against him.
Jon lay still, listening to the steady whoosh of her deep
breathing
until he was certain she
’
d fallen asleep. Then he tossed back the covers, lifted her, and carried her back to her own room. His throat swelled and his eyes burned and everything in him pleaded for him to carry her off.
Because that had worked so well…
Instead he pressed a tender kiss to her forehead then drew up her bedclothes. He watched her for a long moment, and then blew out the candle, turned, and walked slowly back to his own bedchamber.