Keep It Pithy (12 page)

As for the media, their delayed reaction and their lack of responsibility have been, generally speaking, disgraceful. If the stars aren’t flaunting their own personal drug use (Willie Nelson, Snoop Dogg), they are participating in projects that glorify drugs and alcohol (and cigarettes, for that matter). Movies have made brilliant use of charismatic stars and flashy cinematography to make the drug world look lucrative and normal. Business as usual, babes ahoy.

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photo credit 7.4
)

One such project is the movie
Blow
, starring Johnny Depp and Penelope Cruz, two attractive actors who
directly appeal to young people. The film is based on the life of convicted cocaine dealer George Jung, who is currently serving twenty years in prison.

Before the system finally caught up with Jung, he smuggled drugs for more than twenty years, supplying thousands of tons of cocaine to millions of Americans. He accumulated millions of dollars that he spent on himself. Women threw themselves at him. The Jung party was constant and unrelenting and the movie documents all of it.

What the film does not address is that many people became hooked from using Jung’s stuff. How many people died or became crack whores or gave birth to addicted children because George Jung was in business? Hollywood was not interested in that tale.

Here’s a paragraph that caught the attention of many of you who have read my books. It must have struck a chord, especially with parents:

Money spent wisely can buy you personal freedom. With enough money you can ignore unreasonable demands and avoid humiliating financial situations.
They
won’t be able to control your life. Don’t waste your money on foolish material cravings, like the silly gas-guzzling SUVs littering your neighborhood. No, money can help you fulfill your potential as a human being:
Earn it, save it, and then shut up about it
.

You guessed it: Many readers discussed this paragraph with their kids
.

What percentage actually got the message through? No stats on that one … but it never hurts to try
.

I like to call this strategy Operation Elevation. Here’s how it works: From the time your children can comprehend complete sentences, make clear that you and your spouse expect behavior that is better than the norm. Because they are special, they will be held to higher standards of conduct. In other words, you are elevating their self-image by persuading them of their self-worth.

And when they see other kids harming their bodies by drinking, smoking, taking drugs, or engaging in irresponsible sex, explain that these losers do
not
value themselves highly. They’re doing themselves in because they’re unhappy about their lives; they don’t feel popular enough or attractive enough, so they fall for the short-term illusion of substance-induced kicks or cheap sexual thrills. Continue to emphasize to your kids that their behavior should reflect the special status they have in your eyes.

Just in case you need to ask, we do indeed follow that rule with our kids in the O’Reilly household
.

It’s not hard to do, because we don’t have to fake it, and neither do you. Each parent should believe his or her kids to be special, “better than the norm.”

The government cannot legislate decent parenting. Any clown can have a child. There are no tests, standards, or guidelines for parents unless they violate the child abuse or neglect laws. Therefore, some children will be so traumatized by their upbringing that they will cause society big problems that we all pay for, sometimes with our lives.

So what does society do?

Again, it all comes back to the free will that I believe we all have. Even though a child has it rough, there will come a time when he or she, like all other human beings, is faced with a clear choice: Either become a productive citizen or become a problem. Almost every violent criminal I’ve ever spoken with had a terrible childhood. But if society, out of some misguided compassion, does not hold them accountable for harming others, then the result is anarchy.

As you know, some well-intentioned liberals disagree, arguing for lenient sentences and “rehabilitation,” even for heinous child rapists. But that point of view is both dangerous and unfair to both innocent kids and law-abiding adults. The government’s first obligation is to protect its citizens, not empathize with those who would harm them.

History clearly demonstrates that without structure and accountability, human beings have a tough time staying on the
rails. And children must be taught this over and over again: An effective person must incorporate discipline into his or her life, and a just society must demand responsibility from its citizens.

When your child reaches eighteen, it’s all over. You’ve done your job; the ship is launched. You can hope that you’ve raised someone who will join the forces of good in America, not a candidate for an entry-level job in the porno industry. It won’t be long before your own son/daughter and daughter-in-law/son-in-law are having their own children, probably, and looking around at the world of malls, media, and mass-market culture in a new light. Now it’s their turn.

With any luck you can relax and have fun again. You’ve been
chaperoned
for years, if you think about it.

The above image is idealized, of course, especially in these uncertain economic times. You might be taking care of a grandchild, your son or daughter might have to live at home longer than either parent or child would want, or a severe illness might deeply affect your family dynamic
.

But the basic ideal still holds, I believe. Whatever challenges you and your family face, those eighteen and over should be doing their fair share as adults. That’s how you raised them
.

While we’re thinking about our kids, let me remind you that I once threw the floor open to a kind of made-up debate between two very famous and strong women:

RIDICULOUS NOTE: Chief White House “enabler” Hillary Rodham Clinton wrote that “it takes a village” to raise children. My parents and their friends thought that it takes parents. They were sorry that some of my friends had maniacs for parents, but they didn’t interfere. And they didn’t want anyone poking their nose in our house, either.

THIS JUST IN: “Discipline is a symbol of caring to a child. He needs guidance. If there is love, there is no such thing as being too tough with a child. A parent must also not be afraid to hang himself. If you have never been hated by your children, you have never been a parent” (Bette Davis,
The Lonely Life
, 1962).

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photo credit 7.5
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Well, Bette might be overacting here, but that was her job, right?