Keep Me Safe (14 page)

A tear slipped soundlessly down her cheek. Her eyes were dull as she stared back at him.

“I have to do this,” Ramie repeated. “You know I do, Caleb. There's no other way. Eliza is right. I'm the only one who can take this guy down.”

Caleb exploded in fury, his anger directed at Eliza. “You weren't supposed to say any such thing to her! That is
not
the job you were hired for. You're off this case. You and Dane both. Get
out
of my house.”

Ramie saw Eliza's lips thin even more and her cheek twitched in irritation. She bit her lips as though she desperately wanted to say something but held it in check. But there was something about Eliza that made Ramie pause. She didn't come across as a brassy, uncaring, ball-busting woman only wanting to do her job. That wasn't what Ramie had seen in Eliza at all.

“You may as well say it, Eliza,” Ramie encouraged. “If he's firing you anyway, what have you got to lose by speaking your mind? And by all means, let Dane have his say so he doesn't sink with your ship.”

Dane wasn't pleased with Ramie's statement of sinking on Eliza's ship but at the same time it was apparent he was backing Eliza completely. He stood behind her in a gesture of support. Both he and Eliza stared at Ramie but then Dane shook his head.

“It's not Ramie we have to convince, Lizzie,” he said in a low, affectionate tone. “She's with us. It's Caleb who wants our heads.”

One thing Ramie was fast learning about Eliza was that she was not the type of woman to simply bow out, take a more subservient route. Not when she knew her way of handling things was far more superior.

Eliza stomped right up to Caleb's face, Dane right behind, but Ramie got the impression he wasn't supporting Eliza so much as he was potentially protecting Caleb from the brunt of Eliza's fury.

Eliza put a finger in front of Caleb's nose, making him stumble backward until he was against the wall.

“Don't talk to us about not forcing people to do things against their will. Or do you forget we know all about your very unexpected visit with Ramie St. Claire and that you wouldn't take no for an answer and then you pushed her right into hell. Tori's hell at that. So now you have two women suffering the same attack but only by one man and one instance.

“Sure, we can nail the bastard for what he did to Tori. We have evidence, DNA trace. He'll go down. It's just a matter of time. But we can't do a damn thing about what he did to
Ramie
,” Eliza said in a black voice. “Not a single goddamn thing.”

“It doesn't matter,” Ramie quietly interjected. “As long as he's punished, it doesn't matter who and what he's punished for.”

“And can you live with that, Ramie?” Dane asked gently. “Knowing that there is no justice for what was done to you? For what
you
suffered?”

“I lived with that all my life. Nothing has changed. No one really knows the extent of my abilities. They leave, excited that they have hope. They never see what they leave behind so they have no way of
knowing
that more than one woman suffers.”

“
I
know,” Caleb roared. “I know
exactly
what is done to her and I will
not
allow her to go through that again. It's demeaning. It's degrading. No woman should ever have to endure such sick, twisted fantasies acted on them without their will, their consent, or their knowledge!”

Ramie shook her head adamantly, life flaring in her eyes for the first time. “But this time it
will
be with my will and consent, Caleb. I'm making a
choice
to fight back. It's what I should have been doing all these months I spent cowering around every corner, terrified that I'd walk right into his arms. That's no way to live. I
can't
live that life anymore.”

Desperation bled into her every word. In that moment of unguardedness he saw straight through her defenses though they were pitiful at best. She was truly at her rope's end. Bringing her here, in her way of thinking, was only delaying the inevitable of what she'd already expected. Her death. And peace.

“There has to be another way,” Caleb said stubbornly. “One that doesn't involve you going back into hell. Think of what it will do to you, Ramie. You would be weak, defenseless after undergoing unimaginable trauma. And that's when he'd strike. When you were at your lowest point. Vulnerable. Unable to fight back.”

“What I can't and won't do is stand here with my hands over my ears and face so I don't know someone else out there is suffering horrifically because of . . . ​me. Maybe you could live with that on your conscience. But I can't. I'm not wired that way. I knew what I was getting into all those years before. When I began aiding police in locating victims when I was just a teenager trying desperately to find my place in this world.

“My only ‘family' came through the foster system and believe me, they had little interest in a girl who could track killers. I terrified them. But they took me for the money. The stipend they received to take me into their home. They only got me the bare essentials. Two pairs of clothes. A coat for when it got cold. Flip-flops for warmer weather and boots with socks for when it was cold. None of it fit me because my foster parents shopped at Goodwill Stores for the things they bought me. But for their real children, they bought the moon. Nothing was too good for them. I'll never forget one of my foster sisters,” she said painfully. “Becky. She was such a sweet kid. Several years younger than me, and she didn't understand that I didn't fit in, that I wasn't family. She was upset that I never got presents like the others. Why I wasn't getting those same gifts.”

“Jesus,” Caleb muttered. “I don't want to hear the rest of this. Stop it, baby. Don't do this to yourself. It doesn't matter.”

“I want to hear,” Eliza softly interjected, ignoring Caleb's look of fury.

Ramie spoke unemotionally, as though she were reciting a news story that had no personal connection.

“My foster mother made it succinctly clear that I was not her real daughter. That I was not their real sister. My foster father didn't even bother to acknowledge the question because to him I simply didn't exist. The only time he spoke of me, not
to
me, mind you, was if a check from the state was late arriving and then he'd storm around the house complaining about what a burden having another mouth to feed was when it was their own children who needed things. Not some street kid who told lies to police officers so it got her sympathy.”

“Goddamn it,” Caleb cursed savagely. He glanced at Dane and Eliza, furious that they had pushed her to this. It was like ripping off a bandage and causing a wound to bleed fresh blood.

Ramie was in her past now, digging up old hurts and disappointments. Her eyes became distant, the light flickering and dying slowly in her gaze.

“Becky disappeared on the way home from school. She walked with me sometimes, even though she wasn't supposed to. She'd hold my hand and smile up at me. I was so many years older than her and yet she seemed determined to take care of me. It always astonished me that something so good could come from such evil. Becky was sweet. Nothing like my foster parents or her other siblings. It was cold that day so I was walking fast, even though I was in no hurry to get home. As soon as I walked through the door the dad grabbed my shoulders, bruising me with his strength. I was always small for my age.”

Caleb's and Eliza's expression blackened and became stormy. Dane shook his head, muttering God only knew what under his breath. He looked as pissed as the people he worked with.

“I knew he was putting up a front, but I didn't comprehend at first just what he'd done or
why
. He made accusations. He told the police I had threatened Becky and they believed him. Of course they did.”

She broke off and went silent a long moment, the retelling obviously one of the many demons in her past.

“He didn't believe in my abilities. If he did, he would have made an effort to mask his thoughts. It was repulsive. I was in shock. And then I was terrified. I knew that no matter what happened that I needed to run and get as far away from the evil inside that house as I could.”

“Did he hurt you?” Caleb asked menacingly.

Ramie's gaze shot upward, surprise reflected all over her face. “It doesn't matter now, Caleb. That was ten years ago. I'm not that scared teenager anymore.”

“No, you're just a very scared adult,” Eliza said gently.

Ramie swallowed visibly, not refuting Eliza's assertion. She looked frozen, her hands trembling violently.

“Ramie?” Caleb asked gently. “What happened next? What happened to Becky?”

“He touched me,” Ramie choked out. “Not sexually. But he grabbed my shoulders, putting on a show for the police, playing the role of the frantic parent who feared his daughter had been harmed by the freak teenage foster child. And I could see what he wanted, every sick, demented fantasy he'd conjured. He had no idea that the minute he touched me I felt every single thing he wanted to do to me in full color. It was as if it really happened. I felt as violated as if it had happened.”

“I'm going to kill him,” Caleb said with such fury that it seemed to scorch the air around them.

“What happened to Becky?” Eliza persisted, steering Ramie back forcibly.

Her voice was whipcord strong, snapping over Ramie and making her compliant. Anger bristled Caleb, his nostrils quivering. He held up his hand to stop it all but Dane shook his head.

“Wait,” Dane said quietly.

Ramie stood as still as a statue, her features frozen. Caleb reached for one of her hands, and she flinched at the contact. Her fingers were icy and goose bumps spread rapidly up her arm, every hair on end. She snatched her hand back as if he'd burned her, and she cupped the hand he'd touched with her other, rubbing absently as if he'd injured her.

“There was one police officer who at least looked as though he hadn't already judged me and found me guilty. He kept silent, watching the father. And me. I think he knew, or suspected. He separated me from my foster parents, telling them he needed to question me. When we were alone, he told me that he'd done research on me. And that he thought I could help find Becky. He said if I'd help find her that he would make sure I was placed with another family—a good one.”

“He
blackmailed
you,” Eliza said in an appalled voice.

“You agreed,” Caleb said grimly.

His stomach turned over and he traded glances with Eliza and Dane, saw the same knowledge on their faces of where this was going. It sickened him. He'd do anything to protect Ramie from her past, but there was nothing he could do. The damage was already done. Maybe she'd never recover.

Ramie nodded slowly. “Yes. I agreed. Of course I agreed. I had to prove that I had nothing to do with her disappearance.”

She closed her eyes, visible pain furrowing her brow. She swayed on her feet and Caleb wrapped his fingers around her arm just above her elbow to steady her. This time she didn't flinch away from him, but he was calmer now. He had to be more careful to control his thoughts and not hurt her with his emotions.

“Becky's father said he'd found her backpack on the roadway where she walked from school, that he found it when she didn't come home and he got worried. He truly didn't believe in my abilities or he would have never given me that backpack. He called me a scammer. An exploiter of parents frantic to find their children. Of people trying desperately to find a loved one. I didn't need to touch the bag to know he'd done something terrible. The police officer knew the same. And yet I wasn't prepared for what I saw. I picked up that backpack and then I immediately bent over and threw up. And I kept throwing up. I didn't think I'd ever stop.”

Ramie went silent, her eyes haunted and her throat working up and down as if she were trying to prevent herself from throwing up
now
.

“What did you see?” Eliza prompted gently.

Ramie licked her lips. Her face was chalk white, and her shaking intensified. Eliza quickly ran cold water over a washcloth, wrung it out and then held it to Ramie's face. Eliza's hand was on Ramie's shoulder, her touch motherly even though there wasn't a large gap in age between the two women.

It took a few moments for Ramie to compose herself. She sucked in several steadying breaths, and her chest rose and fell harshly, as if she were swallowing away her nausea. Then she sank onto the closed commode seat and scrubbed both hands over her face.

“I was terrified to call him out. I was too afraid of what he might do. The police officer knew, though. He whispered to me where the father couldn't hear and all he asked me was ‘Where?' ”

“I told him where to find my foster sister, but I knew they'd be too late. He left her there to die, and I wasn't in time to save her. Sometimes I wonder if she only stayed alive long enough for someone to know what he'd done. She was so young, so good. How could she have come from such evil?”

Caleb slid his hand into Ramie's hair and then knelt in front of her. He pressed his lips to the top of her head, uncaring of Eliza's and Dane's presence.

“I'm so sorry, honey.”

She twined her arms around his neck and clung to him. He leaned in, touching his forehead to hers, and then he wrapped his arms around her slight body.

“I have to do this, Caleb,” she whispered. “Not only for myself, but for you. For Tori. For the woman who is suffering while we argue her fate. I have to do this. I'll never be able to live with myself if she dies and I did nothing to help her.”

He closed his eyes, knowing she was right but hating it all the same. He turned his head to look up at Eliza and Dane, who still stood in the doorway.