Keep Me Safe (21 page)

“I have to do this, Caleb, and you know it. I don't relish the idea of immersing myself in a myriad of fear, pain, blood and violence, but if I don't stop him, who will? Police always say eventually he'll mess up and make a mistake but this guy hasn't and won't make that mistake. He's too good. He's the most dangerous sort of killer. Cold, calculating, patient and methodical in
everything
he does. If it takes the next five years, or even
ten
, he'll wait for the time when I screw up and make a mistake or let my guard down. And I don't want to live the next five to ten years constantly looking over my shoulder and allowing fear to control me. I'm ashamed it took me this long to come to this conclusion. A lot of women had to die to get me to this point but that's something I'll have to live with for the rest of my life. Taking him down for good will go a long way in easing some of the burden I bear.”

Caleb's expression softened, his eyes losing some of the harsh glint. “Baby, you can't save them all.”

He smoothed her hair back, framing her face in his hands. His eyes were such a rich shade of blue that it felt as though she were drowning in an ocean. They were warm with love but there was also a trace of fear. For her. That he would lose her.

“I'm afraid of losing you too,” she whispered. “Don't you see? You worry about me and what happens if I fall back into his hands, but I worry that you or Tori or one of your brothers and even Dane and Eliza will pay the ultimate price for offering me protection. He's ruthless and unfeeling. Murder and death amuse him. He's convinced of his superiority and that's why I've become an obsession with him. Because he didn't best me, and I got too close to him. He considers that the ultimate insult.”

“Unbelievable,” Eliza said, incredulity in her voice. “You pegged him. You were word for word what his FBI profile came back with.”

“We need to get this sketch to the police and media,” Dane said. “The sooner we're able to warn the public and heighten awareness of the fact a serial killer has taken up temporary residence in the Houston metropolitan area the sooner we can bring him to justice. Maybe we'll get lucky and he's taken down before he chooses his next victim.”

“Get on it then,” Caleb said. “I'm taking Ramie up so she can rest until her headache is better.”

TWENTY-FIVE

“IS
this where I say
sorry, honey, I've got a headache
?” Ramie asked in a drowsy tone.

She yawned widely, her jaw popping with her effort before settling her cheek back onto Caleb's bare chest, nuzzling sleepily into his arms. He laughed softly, his hand roaming up and down the slender arch of her body.

Her skin was baby soft, like the finest silk. He was thoroughly enjoying the simple pleasure of touching her, of having her in his arms and in his bed. He turned his head just enough that his lips pressed against the hairline of her forehead.

“I'll let you get away with it. This time,” he said in amusement.

It suddenly struck him that for the space of a few stolen moments all was quiet. Peaceful. No intrusions from the outside world. Intimacy surrounded them, enfolding them both in its gentle embrace.

“How is the head?” he asked as he trailed his fingers through the curls spilling over her shoulder. “Better yet?”

She yawned again and nodded, her cheek rubbing up and down his chest.

He liked her here in his arms all warm and sweet and contented. This was where she belonged whether she readily acknowledged it or not. He could be a patient man when the reward was worth it, and Ramie's heart and trust were absolutely worth any amount of patience he was forced to exert in his quest to seal their newly formed relationship.

“Are you sure you want to do this, Ramie?” he asked in a quiet tone.

She went absolutely still next to him. Not even a breath escaped her. He resumed his idle caress up and down her body in an effort to ease the sudden tension.

“Yes. No . . .” she trailed off and then expelled a long breath. “Yes, damn it. Well, that isn't exactly true. I'm not a complete idiot. I don't
want
to do it but I have no choice. I
have
to do it and there's the difference.”

“You're a courageous, selfless woman,” he said. And he meant every word.

She made a sound of disgust. “What's with calling me brave all of a sudden? Eliza said the same ridiculous thing earlier. Do I look like someone who is fearless? I'm
terrified
,” she said, her voice rising an octave.

He attempted to soothe her agitation by stroking her with his hand, allowing it to glide over her slight curves, but she was already worked up over his words.

“There is nothing brave or courageous or even special about me,” she said bluntly.

Her words weren't spoken with emotion in an obvious effort to get him to argue his point. It was a matter-of-fact statement, one that she truly believed of herself. He only wished she saw what he saw.

It wasn't desire, lust or even love that made him view her through rose-colored glasses. Regardless of their relationship or his feelings for her, nothing about her actions contradicted his assessment of her character.

“I've lived my entire life lonely and afraid,” she said, pain evident in her voice. “Running. Hiding. From who I am and
what
I am. I'm done with that life, Caleb. And before you argue whether I should take this on or not, you need to consider that
you're
the reason I no longer want to be that frightened, weak shell of a woman I've been for so long. You're the reason I want . . . ​
better
. You deserve better than that.
I
deserve better. Whatever we have, wherever this is going between us doesn't have a chance in hell if I can't regain control over my own life. As nice as it sounds that you'll protect me and take care of me, how long do you think it would take before you realize that you got a shitty deal? And that we are in no way equals in a relationship but rather I'm a codependent leech sucking the life right out of you? You can't possibly think you'd be happy with a woman like I just described. You're too strong for that. Your personality is too strong for you to have a much weaker partner. You may as well be a parental figure for all the dependence I've demonstrated.”

There was so much disgust and self-loathing aimed at herself that he flinched under the force and vehemence of her words. She simmered with rage, her entire body shaking. The hand that rested on his chest had curled into a tight, white-knuckled fist.

As much as he wanted to do exactly those things she described, he realized that it was grossly unfair to her. And it certainly didn't do justice to her intelligence or determination. It was his nature to charge in, take control and put her in a box where he knew she'd be safe. But it was no way for her to live. He was starting to understand her frustration, that she was reaching her boiling point. Maybe she was already there.

His protective instincts were strong. Not only when it came to Ramie but when it came to his family as well. The idea of sitting back and loosening his tight hold on either of them went against who and what
he
was. But if he didn't learn to do just that, he would very likely lose Ramie.

Maybe not right away but eventually she'd tire of his authority and control.

“I understand,” he murmured. “I get it, Ramie. I do. But we're going to just have to agree to disagree when it comes to your supposition that you aren't strong or courageous. This is one area I refuse to back down over. I don't know of anyone, man, woman or child, who could so stoically endure all you have for the last decade.”

She lifted her head, raw emotion swirling in her smoky, storm-colored eyes.

“But that's just it, Caleb. I
haven't
stoically endured. God, I wish I had or that I
could
. The problem is I feel
too
much. I
absorb
too much. It's wrecked me more times than I can count. And just when I finally reach a point where I think things will return to some semblance of normalcy again I'm pulled right back into a world of pain and death and
misery
.”

His hand threaded through her hair, and he stroked her scalp through the tresses in an effort to soothe her.

“Shhh, I understand, baby. Stop beating yourself up. It does no one any good. I'd rather talk about the fact that you just admitted that I was the reason you want more—better,” he amended.

“I do. You are,” she whispered. “But I'm afraid to dream. I never have good dreams, Caleb. Only bad. Just once I want something good and wonderful.”

He wrapped his arm around her waist and then rolled her underneath him. His lips met hers in a heated rush, his tongue sliding over hers and tasting.

As he lifted his head, their lips parting, their gazes locked and held.

“I'll give you good dreams, Ramie. And I'll hold you during the bad. And we'll dream the good together.”

Her gaze was intent, seeking and searching, testing the veracity of his vow.

And then her eyes softened, some of the darkness chased away, sunlight replacing summer storm clouds.

“Dream the good,” she murmured. “I like that.”

His head lowered to take possession of her mouth. Even as he kissed her, his hand slid underneath her shirt, his palm splayed over her belly and then slid upward to cup one breast. He brushed his thumb over her nipple, coaxing it to a rigid peak.

Gently he divested her of the rest of her clothing and then did the same to himself before covering her body with his own.

“Tonight I want you to only dream of me,” he murmured between kisses. “And for you to go to sleep feeling loved and protected. Because I do love you and I will protect you, baby.”

She arched her body into his, craving his warmth and touch. She wrapped her arms around his shoulders and returned his kiss, deepening it and responding passionately.

“I need you so much, Caleb,” she whispered, yearning evident in her voice.

“I need you every bit as much. I need you to believe that, Ramie. If you believe nothing else.”

“I do,” she said, her voice aching with emotion. “Make love to me. Show me what you feel for me.”

His kisses grew more heated, more urgent as his big body moved over hers, parting her thighs with his knee. He bent his dark head to her breasts, tonguing them until they puckered and tiny goose bumps dotted her torso.

He kissed her neck, sucking at her earlobe, sending shivers cascading over her skin. He left no part of her untouched, unloved. He took his time, making her feel utterly cherished.

Then to her surprise, he turned her over and nibbled at her exposed nape and then licked a path down her spine that caused her to tremble uncontrollably. He nipped playfully at her buttocks and then kissed the small of her back, sucking lightly at the spot he'd licked.

He reached for a pillow and then lifted her enough to put it underneath her pelvis, elevating her behind so that he had better access to her pussy.

He played for a while, driving her insane with his probing fingers. He alternated between stroking the damp skin and gently thumbing her throbbing clitoris and sliding a finger inside her, pressing against her most sensitive spots.

She was mindless under his ministrations, her fingers digging into the sheets and holding on as the storm overtook her.

A gasp escaped her when he lifted her just enough to fit his cock to her opening and then slowly, with reverence, he pushed into her from behind. He was so much bigger this way and it took him several attempts before he gained full depth.

She moaned at the fullness, how she stretched to accommodate his width. He paused when he was all the way in.

“You okay?” he asked in a strained tone.

“Yes, God, yes! Please don't stop.”

“I have no intention of going anywhere,” he ground out.

He withdrew then and slowly pushed inward once more, eliciting another groan from her. She needed more. So much more. She didn't want him to be gentle right now. She wanted everything he could give her. She didn't want him to treat her like she was breakable.

She bucked upward, trying to tell him without words what she wanted—what she needed.

He responded to her silent plea and began to thrust harder, deeper, until her need was a desperate, tangible thing.

His fingers dug into her hips, lifting her higher to meet his thrusts. He began to move fast and furious, driving them both to the brink of insanity.

“I want you with me, Ramie.”

“I'm with you!” she gasped. “Please, Caleb, don't make me wait. I'm there!”

Her words spurred him to action and he began plunging harder and harder until he drove her upward on the bed, her entire body shaking from the force of his thrusts.

She spasmed uncontrollably and let out a cry as her orgasm crashed over her with a force she'd never experienced. On the heels of hers, he lunged forward and blanketed her with his body, his warmth and strength pressed firmly against her back. They were both spent, their breaths coming in gulping gasps.

Finally he rolled off her, disposed of the condom and then pulled her into his arms, his hands stroking over her entire body as they both shuddered in the aftermath of their releases.

He kissed her forehead, her eyes, her nose, cheeks and finally her mouth. He lingered there, stroking his tongue inward, his movements so much more gentle than they'd been just moments ago.

“I love you so damn much,” he said in an aching voice. “I hope one day you can love me, Ramie. But I'm willing to wait as long as it takes and I'll never give up on you. I'll wait forever if that's what it takes.”

She cuddled into his embrace, burying her face in his chest, wishing for all the world that she could give him those words now, when he sounded so vulnerable. But she wouldn't say them just to say them. Not until she was sure she could come to him whole. Healed. And able to give back to him every bit as much as he'd given her.