Keep Quiet (37 page)

His heart lurched at the thought, but they had done the right thing, in the end. He prayed that Ryan had been charged as a juvenile, not an adult, so Jake would bear the brunt of their punishment. He could accept going to prison, and he understood why it was necessary. He had
lived
why it was necessary. He had to take responsibility for Kathleen’s death, and he’d rather live with honesty in prison than live on the outside, in guilt and shame.

Suddenly, there was a commotion at the doorway, and Pam, Ryan, and Detective Zwerling entered the room. Pam closed the curtains against the sunshine, then looked at Jake and did a double-take.

“Babe, are you awake? Thank God!” Pam crossed to his bedside, with Ryan next to her, breaking into a broad grin.

“Dad, how are you?”

“Fine,” Jake answered, hoarse. He assumed Pam and Ryan must have been out on bail. They were wearing the same clothes as yesterday, so they hadn’t even gone home. Or maybe they were released on Detective Zwerling’s recognizance, waiting to see what happened to him. Jake didn’t want to jump to the last possibility, which was that Pam and Ryan had hidden the evidence and hadn’t told the police, and they were all back at square one.

“Good to see you.” Pam smiled down at him, her expression soft, but not completely unguarded.

“You, too,” Jake croaked out, but he knew it didn’t begin to communicate the power of the emotion he felt for her. He thanked God he was still alive and prayed that Pam would stay married to him, but that was a conversation for another time.

Detective Zwerling was almost smiling. “Buckman, you’re tougher than I thought.”

Pam took his hand and held it lightly. “How do you feel?”

“Okay.”

“Honey, do you want some water, or juice? Are you in pain?”

“No.”

“The doctor said you’re going to be fine, in time. They did an ex lap, an exploratory laparotomy, and they removed the bullets from your stomach. There was a lot of internal bleeding, because one went through a major blood vessel, the—”

“Wait, first tell me what’s going on with…” Jake didn’t want to finish the sentence in front of Detective Zwerling, but Pam nodded, reading his mind.

“We told the police about the laptop and phone. They found them in the trunk of your car. Ryan and I agreed to go forward, and we figured that’s what you’d want to do, too.”

“I did, but how did you know?” Jake felt the weight of the world lifted from his shoulders, but he was still confused about what was going on.

“I know you.” Pam’s expression grew grave. “As for what happened next, I’ll leave that to the authorities to explain. Bill?”

“Sure.” Detective Zwerling edged closer to the bed, looking down at Jake, and the folds of his face fell into deep lines. “Pam and Ryan gave us a statement about what happened last Friday night. You’ll have to give us one, too, when you’re feeling well enough. But neither you nor Ryan are being charged with vehicular homicide.”

“Why not?” Jake asked, dumbfounded.

“The autopsy determined that the injuries Kathleen sustained as a result of being hit by your car were postmortem.”

“What?” Jake didn’t understand, struggling through a pharmaceutical fog to think.

“Kathleen was already dead when you hit her. The cause of her death was blunt force trauma to her head. The District Attorney charged Dr. David Tolliver for her murder and the murder of Andrew Voloshin.”

“Are you saying that Dr. Dave
killed
Kathleen?” Jake couldn’t process it fast enough. All this time, he had thought that he and Ryan were responsible for Kathleen’s death.

“Yes, we believe so.”

“How? Why?”

“This is confidential, but in the circumstances, I’ll fill you in. Kathleen was a patient of Tolliver’s, sent by her mother to help cope with the divorce and custody case. Her parents had no knowledge of any relationship between them, outside the client-doctor. Kathleen’s friend Janine Mae told us that Kathleen had fallen in love with an older man, in secret. Kathleen didn’t tell Janine Mae that the man was Tolliver. She told Janine Mae it was someone she met online.”

Jake couldn’t believe what he was hearing. His stomach was killing him, but he didn’t want to interrupt Detective Zwerling to get more painkillers.

“Janine Mae knew they met sometimes on Dolomite Road, at night. Tolliver probably used his wife’s car because the school teams could have recognized his car.”

Jake realized he’d been right about that much, but he was too astounded to feel any satisfaction.

“We think that Tolliver wanted to break off the relationship, but Kathleen didn’t. We believe that Kathleen threatened to tell her parents if he called it quits, so Tolliver killed her.” Detective Zwerling pursed his thin lips. “Tolliver lawyered up and isn’t talking, but we have hard evidence against him. Again, confidential, but we have his hair and fiber on Kathleen’s body and clothing. We also have her blood in the BMW. We collected DNA and expect it will be corroborative, but the results aren’t back yet. The forensics show that he killed her in the BMW, by slamming her head into the dashboard.”

Jake felt a wave of disgust.

“He left her body by the side of Pike Road. He probably thought she’d look like a victim of a hit-and-run, given the blind curve. You and Ryan came by shortly thereafter, maybe even within ten minutes, according to the best estimate of the pathologist.”

“Pathologists can figure that out? How?”

“By the location and type of her injuries, during the autopsy. It’s about blood loss and so forth.”

Jake tried to understand the implications. “Did you know all along that whoever was guilty of the hit-and-run didn’t actually kill Kathleen?”

“No, we weren’t sure, and the pathologist couldn’t be a hundred percent certain. If there had been more time between the time she was actually killed and when her body was hit, he would have been more sure. But it was our theory, and we liked you.”

Jake blinked, surprised. “I like you, too, Detective Zwerling.”

Pam snorted, with a sly smile. “Jake, in police talk, ‘like’ means ‘suspect.’ The police suspected you.”

Detective Zwerling permitted himself a tight smile. “We didn’t release that information to the newspapers. We were still investigating. Your actions flushed Tolliver out, but we don’t sanction citizen involvement. Law enforcement is for professionals, Jake.” Detective Zwerling’s smile faded, and his jowls deepened with disapproval. “You almost lost your life. You would have, if not for your wife and son.”

“I know. Thank God for them.” Jake felt a surge of love for his family, and Pam squeezed his hand.

Detective Zwerling straightened up, as if he were becoming official again. “The D.A. will be in to see you, later today. He’ll tell you that you’ll be charged with leaving the scene of an accident and failing to give information. Those are misdemeanors in the first degree, or M1s. They involve fines and such, but no prison time.”

“I’ll take whatever punishment I have coming. But what about Ryan?”

“The D.A. exercised his discretion not to charge Ryan as an adult, in view of your efforts in the case. He’ll be charged with the same offenses as you, but as a juvenile. He’ll get probation and have to perform community service. He’ll have no criminal record when he comes of age.”

“Thank you, that’s wonderful. We’re very grateful.” Jake felt relief wash over him, momentarily forgetting about his pain.

Ryan said, “Yes, Detective Zwerling, thank you again.”

Pam looked from Ryan to Jake with a worried frown. “Even so, there’s going to be other repercussions, for all of us. I’m stepping down from the bench.”

“Babe, really?” Jake sighed. He could tell from Ryan’s resigned expression that it wasn’t news to him. “Do you really have to?”

“Yes, of course. My oath is to uphold and defend the Constitution and the laws of the Commonwealth, yet I chose to hide illegality. It’s misconduct, and if I stayed, it would damage the reputation of the Court.” Pam pursed her lips, but she didn’t seem angry at Jake, just regretful. “I already emailed the Chief Judge and my colleagues, so they won’t find out from the newspaper. The D.A. plans to hold a press conference at one o’clock. The reporters are already swarming in front of the hospital.”

“I’m sorry,” Jake told her, meaning it.

“Thanks, but it’s not on you, honey.” Pam smiled at him, sadly. “It’s on me. I made my choice, and I’ll take my lumps.”

“So you won’t be a judge anymore?” Jake felt terrible for her.

“That might be a good thing, huh?” Pam winked, with a crooked smile. “No more Judge Mom.”

“But what will you do?”

“I’m not sure yet. Let’s not talk about it now.” Pam shrugged it off. “Nobody’s getting off scot-free. I’m embarrassed and ashamed, so are we all. There’ll be gossip and headlines. It won’t be easy.”

“I know.” Ryan nodded, his lips flattened to a grim line. “People are already posting about it on Facebook. I’ll lose a lot of friends, I know. Everybody will be talking about it. The big-time recruiters and programs will bounce. Bye-bye, Division I.”

“That might be right.” Jake appreciated that Ryan was being so realistic. “I guess I’ll lose clients. Plus Amy and my employees are going to be disillusioned. But I can deal.”

Pam eyed him, her anxiety plain. “What will happen to Gardenia? Do you lose your certification over this?”

“I don’t think so. Amy will stay, and I have enough cushion to float the payroll for a while. It’s Ryan I’m worried about.” Jake turned to his son. “Buddy, can you take the heat?”

“Totally. We both can. Don’t worry about it, Dad. We’ve been through worse, haven’t we?” Ryan looked down at Jake, his gaze grown-up. “Here’s what I think. It’s awful that Kathleen died, the way she died, but I didn’t kill her. I didn’t kill
anybody
. I don’t have that on my conscience anymore. I don’t have to lie to anybody or hide anything. I feel, like, so grateful and
free
. Do you see, Dad? I’m
good again.
”

Pam’s eyes glistened, but she didn’t say anything, letting Ryan and Jake have their moment.

“Ryan, you always were good,” Jake said, hoarsely, his entire body flooding with peace.

“We’ll get through this together.”

“Yes, we will.” Jake reached for Ryan’s hand, and Ryan reached back, and Jake could feel the warmth, strength, and power that flowed between them, palpable in the clasp of their hands, which were large and so much alike.

“I love you, Dad,” Ryan said, with feeling.

“I love you, too, boy,” Jake told him, and at long last, he could feel the beginning of a reconnection between them, one that had less to do with superficial things like cars and girls, and more to do with something important, natural, and even eternal.

Flesh, and blood.

Epilogue

Six months later, Jake and Pam were sitting on the bleachers at a packed basketball game, watching Ryan. The gym thundered with the clamoring of parents, siblings, and students. Kids ran up and down the aisles. Moms cheered, dads clapped, and Jake felt as if everything was the same as before—except that everything was also different.

The gym was smaller and shabbier, in a tougher part of town. Ryan wasn’t playing, but assistant-coaching, and none of the players was very tall, because they were eight-year-old girls. Their ponytails bounced in their matching scrunchies, their purple T-shirts hung to their knobby knees, and their wide-leg shorts flapped when they ran. Jake took a special interest in the kids’ gear because he had bought it all. The team was the Gardenia Guardians, named for what was left of his company.

He nudged Pam, pleased. “They look good, huh?”

“What?” Pam kept watching the game, craning her neck.

“They look good!” Jake said, louder, and Pam looked at him like he was crazy, her blue eyes amused behind her glasses.

“What are you talking about? They’re losing by seven points.”

“The uniforms, I mean.”

Pam rolled her eyes. “It still bugs me they’re purple. Gardenias aren’t purple.”

“White is boring, honey.”

“Gardenias aren’t white, they’re ivory, which is a
lovely
color.”

“Kids don’t want lovely. They want cool, and purple is cool.”

“Oh, hush! Watch the game.” Pam turned to the court.

Jake half-watched the game, contentedly. Bottom line, he was happy to be alive. His stomach still hurt from time to time, but he’d even started running with Ryan. In fact, he’d already lost two pounds. Well, it was a start.

Jake sensed the worst was over. Dr. Dave had pleaded guilty to both murders and was sentenced to life without parole, thus avoiding the death penalty. The media had moved on almost instantly, though the gossip lingered in their development, at school, in social media, and in the financial-services community. They would forever be the family who had left the scene of a hit-and-run, but they tried to hold their heads high. Jake hadn’t lost his certification, and Amy and almost all of his employees stayed with him. His remaining clients were making money, so he hoped that word-of-mouth would attract new ones. If it didn’t, he’d stay small or start over. He’d learned there were worse things in life than losing your job.

Pam nudged him, pointing to the court. “Honey, look. Tiffany’s going to shoot.”

“She’ll miss.”

“Don’t be that way.”

“Please. They always miss. The final scores are, like, three to two.”

Pam hit his leg playfully. “Aw, but she’s so cute. I love that little girl.”

“That’s true. She’s adorable.” Jake watched Tiffany shove the basketball two-handed into the air, then it fell to the court, bouncing away.

“Oh well.” Pam chuckled, shaking her head. Both teams raced after the ball, tumbling over one another, a rolling mob of flailing arms and outstretched fingers.

“Looks like a shoe sale at Nordstrom’s,” Jake said, and Pam laughed, which pleased him no end. They were back in therapy, putting their marriage back together, sometimes with Ryan, too. Pam had been depressed for months, but had begun to come around after the headlines died down. The local law firms didn’t make her a job offer, so she was working as a contract lawyer, writing briefs for the big, white-shoe firms in Philly. They wouldn’t put her name on the papers, but they were happy to have her brainpower. They’d considered moving away from Concord Chase, but decided against it, unanimously. It wouldn’t work in the age of Facebook, and they were through with family secrets.