Keep You From Harm (27 page)

“Okay.” Then I tell him everything I know about Rob Jarvis and Alec Dean. Of course, I leave out the motive. I can’t mention my ability to heal which is the reason my mother was killed. He listens quietly, asks more questions about my mother’s relationship with Alec, which unfortunately, I don’t know much about. I make sure to stress that Kyle was not involved and knows nothing about this. Detective Brady answers noncommittally and tells me he’ll look into everything I’ve told him.

Since I’m now late for my next class, I do something I’ve never done before. I skip. I start walking home. On my way, I call in sick to Scoops. I’m going to blow off the rest of my day to lay around in bed and wallow, or try to think of a solution, a possible loophole to my problem.

When I get home, I’m relieved to find the house is empty. The mail is spread across the entryway floor below the mail slot. I scoop it up and find a large white envelope hand-addressed to me. I gasp when I recognize the messy block letters as Apollo’s handwriting. I recall it from the scraps of paper he used to give me with the names of the people who owed him money.

I carefully open the envelope to find another envelope inside. This one is addressed to me at our old apartment. It’s from UCLA. My heart rate kicks up. They sent it to the wrong address, and Apollo forwarded it to me. How on earth did he know my address here?

It’s a large envelope and that seems like a good sign. I rip it open and read the very first line before giving a little yelp and jumping up and down. Faster now, I start thumbing through all the paperwork that came with the acceptance letter. I quickly see that I got a full tuition scholarship. It’s everything I wanted, everything I’ve worked for. But finally receiving the news today feels like a sucker punch to the stomach. I sink down to the floor with the letter clutched in my hand. I used to imagine myself moving to LA, finding an apartment, starting a new life, a life of my own that no one could take from me. Now, the image is blurred with uncertainty. It truly feels like the dream it always was, a dream that’s more out of reach than ever.

C
hloe
and Penelope come home to find me still sitting on the floor holding my acceptance letter. When I show it to Chloe, she smiles brightly and tells me congratulations.

When Kyle gets home, he picks me up and whoops loudly. I’m completely flustered by his enthusiasm, and I find myself giggling. Before dinner, we sit down at the kitchen table to go through all the paperwork together. As my legal guardian, he needs to sign some forms and so do I. I let myself enjoy my dream for a while, signing my name with a flourish, laughing and accepting my brother’s praise and attention.

Kyle and I are alone when we finish filling out the last form. Chloe is down the hall giving Penelope a bath. “We’re a lot alike, you know?” He smiles, putting down his pen. “We don’t express our emotions much. Chloe says that giving birth was easier than getting me to talk about my feelings.” He chuckles to himself before taking a breath and turning more serious. “But there are some things I really want to say to you, and it’s long past time I did that. Raielle, I’m proud to have you as my sister. I want you to know that. I’m so glad that after all this time, you’re in my life. Once you leave for school, I don’t want us to lose what we’ve started building here. I want you to come back for your holidays and breaks. I want you think of this as your home, too. We’re your family. You have a family now, and your family loves you.”

He reaches out to me, and I meet him halfway. My eyes tear up as he squeezes me tight. I’m overwhelmed by his words.
You have a family now. Your family loves you.
I know Chloe and I are not family and will never be, but Kyle and Penelope truly are my family, and do I love them. But when Kyle discovers what Alec did to my mother, and that I turned him in for it, I don’t know how he’ll feel. Despite that, I am glad for this moment with him. Right now, for however long it lasts, I have a brother.

When Kyle pulls away, he notices my tears, and his smile falls just a little. Just then, a screeching, naked Penelope comes dashing through the kitchen dragging a bath towel behind her. She’s giggling as she avoids Chloe’s attempts to catch her. Kyle and I burst out laughing as the heavy mood immediately lifts, and Kyle stands up to make a grab for Penelope. When he misses, I shake my head at them as I begin gathering up the school forms scattered over the table. A call from Lucas interrupts me, and a still grinning Kyle signals that he can finish the cleanup. I accept gratefully as I take the phone outside with me searching for some quiet.

“I went by Scoops to talk to you, but they told me you called in sick. Why didn’t you tell me you weren’t feeling well?” he asks when I answer.

The last time I talked to him, I used a choice word to instruct him to leave me alone. His tone implies that I’m already forgiven. “I feel fine. I’m just,” I pause, not sure what to tell him.

“Just what?” he asks.

“Just hiding out for a little while I guess. I talked to the police in San Diego. They had me give a recorded statement over the phone. They could be picking up Alec and Rob Jarvis any day now. I haven’t told Kyle.”

Lucas is silent on the other end. “I’m sorry about today,” he finally says.

“You don’t have to be sorry. I’m the one who blew up at you.”

“Yeah, well. I guess I was hoping everything would finally get back to normal. But when it was obvious you weren’t back to normal, and you wouldn’t talk to me, I didn’t know what to do. I kept waiting for you to tell me what’s going on.”

I close my eyes and take a shaky breath. Normal is something I’ll never be. “It’s not up to you to fix everything, Lucas.”

“But I’ll always want to try. Talk to me,” he says, his voice gentle and persuasive.

But I won’t talk about it. I just can’t. “Hey, guess what?” I ask, trying to sound upbeat.

Through the phone, I hear him release a frustrated breath. “What?” he asks after moment.

“I got into UCLA.”

“What! Really?” he exclaims, and I can hear the smile in his voice.

“Yeah. I got the letter today. Full tuition scholarship, too.”

“Congratulations. That’s great news. It’s what you wanted.”

“It is,” I agree, and real enthusiasm tinges my voice. Even if I don’t end up going, this is an accomplishment.

“We have to celebrate. Let me take you out tonight.”

I glance back at the house where Chloe has already started preparing dinner. “Tonight?”

“Yes, tonight,” he laughs. “Is that okay?”

I grin at the phone. I can’t refuse him. “It’s more than okay.”

I go back into the house to tell Kyle and Chloe that I’m going out with Lucas. Their easy agreement on a school night tells me that I can pretty much get away with anything now.

I take my time showering. Then I pull on snug jeans and a low cut tank top. It’s a more revealing outfit than I usually wear. Pretty much everything is on display, but I feel reckless. After pushing Lucas away all day, tonight I’m craving his closeness. Tonight, I need him.

He pulls up almost exactly an hour after our phone call, and I rush out of the house to meet him, my hair flying behind me in long, loose waves. Lucas comes around to open the passenger door of his truck when his eyes land on me and nearly bug out of his head. He takes me in, whistling soft and low.

“I’ve never been more grateful for warm weather,” he says with blatant appreciation.

I give him my own perusal as my eyes wander over his form-fitting T-shirt, which is the same dark blue color as his eyes, and the soft, faded jeans that mold to his narrow hips and wrap around his long, lean legs. His hair is pushed carelessly to the side, and I can see the impressions his fingers have left in it. The look in his eyes tells me we’re both feeling the same thing tonight. We need to relieve the stress that has been running our lives for so long, and we plan to help each other do exactly that.

He lifts me up into the passenger seat, letting his hand graze the bottom of my breast. As my skin heats, I immediately know that was no mistake. When he seats himself beside me, he asks, “What do you feel like eating?”

I just turn and give him a look.

He grins wickedly at me. “I really do mean food.”

“I don’t want food. Take me back to that bridge. The one you said has an amazing view of the city.”

He stares at me for a beat, appearing indecisive, before he gives me a nod. “The bridge it is.”

Once he pulls out onto the road, I offer my hand to him. He wraps his fingers around it and we drive toward the place where I revealed my secrets to him on that rainy night.

“How’s your family doing?” I ask.

He glances at me with a hesitant smile. “They’re good.” I watch as he thinks for a moment before deciding to elaborate. “We’re getting used to each other again,” he continues. “Liam is obviously glad our mother’s better, but I think he doesn’t quite trust her yet. I’m relieved to have her back, but I’m impatient. I want everything to just be normal again. For her though, it’s been rough. What she did to us is eating away at her. You can see it. She needs to deal with that before she can move forward. My dad wants her to see a therapist, and she agreed to it. She’s trying. She even went to Liam’s basketball game yesterday. He played it pretty cool, but he was practically bouncing off the walls when they got home. He’s never really had this before, a mother who cares, a mother who wants to be there for him. Even though it’s hard for her, she is that again.”

I squeeze his hand and smile reassuringly at him. I’m not sure what to say. His mother may be better, but she’s not bouncing back the way he wants her to. I hope she just needs some more time.

“I’ve been wondering about something,” he says.

I study his shadowed face, thinking I see hesitation there. “What?” I ask.

He glances between me and the road. “Why did you only apply to schools in California? Why do you want to go back there?”

His question catches me off-guard. I’m about to automatically say that it’s my home, but before the words are out, I know they’re not true. I may have lived in California all my life, but it never signified home in any real sense of the word. I suspect that’s what Lucas is getting at with his question, and if so, he has a good point. I guess I want to go back because it’s all I know. Or maybe I really am a California girl at heart. Although I’m not the carefree, laid-back stereotype, it is a part of my identity, and I suppose I want to hold on to that since I’m still figuring out so much of the rest. But now that I have this disease, everything is uncertain.

I glance at him from under my lashes. “I just do,” I say simply. I don’t think I could ever make him understand.

Once I answer, he looks at me for a long time. It seems like he wants to say something, but instead, his lips curl up in mild acknowledgement before he looks back at the road. Neither of us has brought up the fact that our time together has a finite ending. But that thought is always with me. Before I got sick, I assumed we would talk about it at some point. But now, I want to avoid it. Now, I want to enjoy my time with him, understanding that my happily ever after may be tonight, not some future fantasy, but this moment. The one I’m living right now.

I draw in a deep breath and glance out the window, needing to focus on something other than Lucas for a moment, needing to stop the direction of my thoughts before they travel too far in a dark direction.

When I spot the bridge, calmness settles over me, followed by nervous anticipation once the truck comes to a stop. As I push open the door and step down onto the ground, I’m welcomed by a symphony of crickets. Lucas grabs the blanket he always keeps in the back seat, and he takes my hand to lead me down a short hill to a landing just below the bridge. I easily spot the benches he mentioned before, but he walks past them to a round, sheltered clearing and spreads the blanket on a patch of grass.

Water rushes below us as the day fades behind a black curtain dotted by pinpoints of light. The city skyline sparkles in the distance. I couldn’t dream up a more romantic setting if I tried. I sit down on the blanket and watch as Lucas lowers himself beside me. We take in our surroundings for a moment before he begins running the back of his hand along my bare arm. I can feel the goose bumps forming beneath his fingers. Just that light touch has awoken all the butterflies inside me.

“How are you really feeling?” he asks. His voice is quiet and intimate beside my ear.

“I’m feeling happy to be here with you,” I reply, turning my head and leaning into him so that our lips are only inches apart.

His eyes darken in response. He moves his hand from my arm up to my neck and finally around to the back of my head where he slides his fingers into my hair. My whole scalp tingles, and I’m already breathless when he finally brings my mouth to his. He brushes against my lips at first. Then he lingers there, nipping at my top lip, running his tongue along my bottom one.

I lift my arms up over his shoulders and wrap them around his neck as I press myself against him wanting to deepen the kiss. Our mouths open together, and his tongue touches mine. I make a happy sound in the back of my throat at the contact, and he shifts our bodies, angling himself above me, laying me down on the blanket, and nudging my legs apart so he can lower himself between them.

I run my fingers through his thick hair before moving them lower, down his back, until I find the bottom of his T-shirt. Then I slip my hands inside it and slide them around to the warm skin of his stomach. His muscles contract beneath my touch as he groans into my mouth. I feel his hands doing the same to me. With our lips fused together, he lifts the bottom of my tank top and presses his warm fingers against my bare skin. I begin to writhe in his arms as the muscles low in my belly contract and tighten. He tilts his hips forward into mine, and an aching need blooms inside me. This is escalating quickly, but I’m not nervous or afraid. I just want more.

When I feel a sudden chill, my eyes pop open to see Lucas leaning back, pulling off his shirt. My breath halts in my lungs as I stare at the defined planes and the deep ridges of his chest and abdomen. His skin is smooth and gleaming in the moonlight. I reach my hands up to touch him, but he shakes his head.

“Let’s take this off,” he says, pulling up on my tank top.

I obediently sit up and stretch my arms over my head so he can lift it up. My hair slides through it smoothly and falls back down over my bare shoulders and black lace bra.

Lucas just stares for a moment, his eyes wandering over me. “You’re so fucking gorgeous,” he whispers before crashing his mouth to mine, pressing me back down onto the blanket. This time his kiss isn’t slow or gentle, it’s urgent, filled with desperate emotion. He sucks on my tongue as he grinds up against me. I gasp, and my fingers grip his shoulders. The tension building inside me tightens when he pushes down the cups of my bra and draws my nipple into his mouth. My head rolls back as I moan loudly and arch up against him.

“You like that,” he murmurs. Then he removes my hands from his warm skin and stretches my arms above my head, holding them there. “If we don’t stop now, we won’t, Ray,” he says.

He hovers above me, blocking out the sky, shielding me from the world. He is my world tonight. His hooded eyes search mine, and I can see the haze of lust clouding his thoughts. They’re clouding mine, too, and I don’t want to stop. There’s no way we can stop now. “I want this, Lucas. I want you,” I manage to say. My voice sounds breathless in my ears.