Keeper of the Wolves (10 page)

He glanced at me and a wry smile touched his
lips. “Maybe I should have let you kill him.”

I had thought the same thing when his blood
filled my mouth and my teeth ground into the bones of his shoulder,
but now I wasn’t so sure. The lingering taste of blood hid around
my tongue and I wondered what it would have felt like to kill a
man. He wasn’t a deer or a rabbit. He was a living, breathing man.
But he had threatened my pack.

I rubbed my eyes, wondering how I had come
to regard humans as part of my pack, yet the same feelings were
there. The terror and fury that filled my limbs when I saw Koya in
danger were the same way I felt when any of the wolves were
threatened. I had fought for them against other wolves, against
mountain lions hungry for a share of our kill, and against grizzly
bears angry enough at an invasion of their territory to take on a
full pack of healthy wolves. For Koya, I would fight any of those
creatures and more to keep her safe.

I pushed my tangled brown hair back from my
face. It was matted and soaked with sweat, but I felt healthier
despite the exhaustion that weighed down my limbs. I took a deep
breath and let it out between my teeth.

“
I know how you feel,” Joven
replied quietly. I looked up to find him watching me. His eyes
creased, drawing his brows together. “I don’t know how to thank
you. I don’t know how you can just throw yourself into danger
without regard for your safety, but I appreciate it.” He tipped his
head back to indicate the door. “Rasmus is interrogating the
prisoner to find out who sent him.”

A few more seconds of silence filled the
room. Rising to leave, he said, “You deserve a break. I should
go.”

He stood and an answering pang of regret
tightened my chest. He wasn’t that bad, and sometimes it was nice
not to be alone, but I couldn’t say it. I pulled the blanket closer
and watched him leave. My shoulder gave an answering throb of
pain.

He walked to the door and was about to step
out when a howl sounded. The wolves had howled every night but
without the anger, threat, and frustration of the night during my
fever. My heart lifted at hearing them. I felt the reassurance in
their tone and knew they were healthy and finding enough to eat in
the forest outside Vielkeep’s walls. I missed them with a deep
ache, but hearing them calmed the turmoil in my mind.

“
I have an idea,” Joven said
thoughtfully.

He disappeared out the door without
explaining. I waited by the bed too worn out to inch closer to the
fire that now crackled happily in the fireplace. Small waves of
heat chased the chill from my limbs. I closed my eyes and listened
to the howls fade away. A door opened and footsteps crossed the
soft carpet from the outside door toward my room. I recognized
Joven’s steps, not rushed but steady. He never seemed to hurry if
he could help it, but he wasn’t one to falter if he had something
to do.

“
Still awake?” he asked when
he pushed open the inner door. He gave me a cheery smile as he set
a pile of cloth on the floor near me. “I wouldn’t blame you if you
slept. You look like the wrong side of a water ox.

I rolled my eyes, something I had picked up
from the way Rasmus responded to similar comments, and Joven
chuckled. “You mimic human behaviors quite well.” He glanced at me.
“I wonder if I’ve picked up any wolfish ones.”

He gave me a long, hard stare. My heart
slowed and I fought back the urge to bare my teeth. He had picked
up the wolf challenge perfectly. I wondered when he had noticed it.
I reminded myself to stay calm. Such a look brought a sure fight
among wolves. I had often given the same look during my
confinement, but it had been a full year since any creature
challenged me so.

A smile turned up the corners of Joven’s
lips and chased away the stare. “You should see yourself,” he said.
“You’d have thought I just called your mother something quite
unmentionable. Remind me to steer clear of you on a bad day.”

I breathed through my nose and willed my
muscles to relax. I hadn’t noticed that my hands were clenched.
When I opened my fingers the skin was white with tension.

“
I brought you some
clothes.” At my surprised look, he tipped his head toward the door
in another wolflike gesture. “You don’t plan to go traipsing out
there nude, do you?” I glanced down at the blanket and he chuckled.
“Walking the grounds in a quilt is as close to naked as you can
get. I don’t need the whole castle in an uproar, especially if
we’re to see the wolves unnoticed.”

It was my turn to stare. My heart jumped at
the thought of being near my pack again, but experience had taught
me to be wary of the ways of humans. I waited for him to laugh or
say he was kidding, but he just watched me expectantly. When I
didn’t move, he held out the bundle of cloth again. “Think you can
figure these out?” he asked in a voice that said I better because
he wasn’t about to venture in that area.

I nodded and he rose and left the room
without another word. I stared at the clothes for a second in
uncertainty, but the chance to see the wolves was too great. I
grabbed the brown jerkin and slipped it over my head so it sat the
way Joven’s did. The cloth was soft but it felt confining and
tight. When I moved my shoulders, they pulled against the seams. I
took it as a wolf would, accepting the inevitable and holding onto
the things I could control. I pulled on leather leggings that held
a lingering scent of yearling buck above the pungent smell of the
chemicals used for tanning and dye. I skipped the shoes and socks,
preferring instead to feel the contours of the floor and the ground
we would walk across. One could tell a lot about the land by the
feeling of the ground underfoot.

I walked to the door. My head swam and my
body protested walking when it wanted to rest and get over the
remains of sickness, but I pushed past it and opened the door. The
knob was smooth and the color of wheat. It was cold to the touch
when I turned it the way I had seen Joven and Koya do. Two voices
met me when I opened it.

“
Do you think it’s a good
idea?” Koya asked softly.

“
You should have seen him,”
Joven replied. “He needs to see his wolves. He deserves it.” His
voice lowered. “We owe him that at least.”

“
I didn’t mean he shouldn’t
see them,” she replied. “I just worry about all that’s happened
with him being sick and taking down the assassin. I don’t want him
to hurt more.”

My heart gave a strange thump at her voice.
I saw the image of her with the knife at her throat. Her eyes were
wide with fear, but she didn’t cry even when the blade pricked her
skin. She was brave, and I should have been there before she got
hurt. The need to see her with my own eyes and make sure she was
alright sent me into the hallway.

Both siblings turned, but my gaze went
straight to Koya. She looked composed and beautiful in a light blue
dress the color of a robin’s egg wrapped in a dark blue shawl that
hinted at midnight walks and quiet conversations. Her fingers were
tangled together in front of her, the only sign of the stress she
had endured. A white bandage spread along her beautiful pale neck
as a reminder of how close I had come to losing her.

When my eyes finally rested on hers, I read
pain in them and well-masked fear. Her gaze widened at my clothes,
and the corners of her eyes creased slightly at my bare feet.

“
Is this your doing?” she
asked Joven.

He grinned proudly. “Looks almost human,
doesn’t he?” He laughed at his own joke, then gestured toward my
feet. “Of course, the lords and ladies wouldn’t approve of such
casual footwear.”

I gave him a bland look and he laughed again
in the easy way he always seemed to carry when he was with his
sister and away from the court or castle servants.

“
You think they’re going to
wait around forever?” he asked. He opened the door and Koya stepped
through. She stopped just outside and waited for me. I walked
slowly out into the moonlight. It fell across my shoulders and
tangled in my hair as though reminding me that it possessed my
nights. I closed my eyes and breathed deeply of the cool air; a
smile spread across my face.

I heard a faint outlet of breath and opened
my eyes to meet Koya’s gaze. A slight blush colored her cheeks and
she glanced away. “You look like you belong out here,” she said
quietly. Her forehead creased slightly. “In the night, I mean. It’s
like you’re complete out here.” She looked up quickly as though
afraid she had said something wrong, but her words echoed my
feelings exactly.

I had been away from the fall of moonlight
and the glow of the stars so long I forgot how real I felt beneath
their quiet contemplation. I nodded and a smile of relief touched
Koya’s face. Joven walked passed. “Come on, you two. The faster we
go the less likely we’ll be spotted by gossiping servants who’ll no
doubt spread word of our eccentric family.”

“
Joven,” Koya chided, but
her tone was worn as though she had rebuked him for the comment so
many times it no longer held meaning for either of them.

We waited until two guards armed with swords
and knives marched past. A scent of meat and bread drifted from
them, remnants of their not-too distant dinner.

Joven motioned and we hurried across the
torch-lit walkway into the depths of the garden. Joven turned
right, then left. Koya and I followed behind as quickly as we
could. Koya’s dress snagged on an outreaching rosebush and she
paused to untangle it. I waited near her wanting to help but
worried I would tear the delicate cloth. She pulled it free
quickly, then turned and tripped over an exposed root. I caught her
before she fell to the ground.

My breath caught in my throat at the feel of
her against my body. Her hands clutched my arms, her fingers soft
against my bare skin. Her scent of meadow gold and vanilla tangled
around us. I froze, afraid that I would hurt her or do something
wrong. She watched me with her searching blue eyes as if she could
see the torment of my soul. The moment felt like a hundred years
pressed into a single breath before she righted her slippered feet
and stood. Her hand brushed down my arm and I wondered if it was my
imagination that her fingers lingered in mine a second before her
hand fell away.

I watched her, my mind a muddled mess of
human and wolven thoughts still weighed down by the fog of one who
had just gotten over a heavy sickness. I waited until she took a
few steps, then followed slowly, ready to catch her should she trip
again. She didn’t, but she looked back and I read something in her
eyes that I didn’t understand, something light like laughter but
with edges soft and golden like the setting of the summer sun.

“
Through here,” Joven
whispered. He held open a gate I hadn’t noticed set deep within the
wall and covered with vines. It smelled as if no one had been this
way for years.

“
I can’t believe you
remembered this,” Koya said with a pleased smile. “How long has it
been?”

Joven chuckled. “A long time since we lost
ourselves in the forest,” he said, his voice taking on a wistful
tone. “I wouldn’t mind doing the same now.”

“
Me neither,” Koya agreed.
She stepped past and waited for me to follow.

I crossed the threshold of the gate and
paused outside the wall. Seeing the world unfettered by walls,
bars, or chains made it look fresh and clean. Moonlight skipped
upon outstretched leaves that rustled quietly with the laughter of
a beckoning breeze. The grasses that rushed to meet the Vielkeep
Castle wall waved back and forth, a green and tawny meadow kept
free of trees for a clear view of intruders. The trees stood
further back, and I was surprised to see how old they were. The
forest was much more ancient than the castle or the wall. I
wondered how much work it had taken to keep it at bay for so
long.

“
Are they out
there?”

It took me a moment to realize Joven and
Koya were waiting for me. A thrill ran up my spine when I
remembered what we had come here to do. I cupped my hands around my
mouth and gave a low, throaty howl. It wasn’t loud, but the sound
reverberated through the forest. I waited a moment with no response
and fought off a wave of sorrow. Maybe my pack had waited as long
as they could. Maybe they went home and left me to my fate.

Koya set a hand on my arm. “Try it again,”
she said quietly.

I swallowed against the knot of frustration
and lifted my hands once more. As soon as the notes left my lips,
eight different howls responded with tones of anxiety, happiness,
and expectation. Koya gasped at my side and I covered her hand with
my own. I listened to paws pad through the undergrowth until eyes
stared out at us shining golden in the light of the moon.

“
Koya, get behind me,” Joven
said in a quiet voice edged with steel.

She hesitated, but her fingers shook
slightly. I moved my hand from hers and she slipped behind her
brother. I left them both and walked slowly through the long grass.
I wore human clothes and smelled of confinement behind walls and
among people. I had endured suffering and torment far beyond what I
would have thought myself capable. I had survived despite the odds
and hatreds of those who held me captive. I was far different than
the wolf that had been captured and taken away from them long ago.
I hoped I wasn’t too different.

A black wolf with gray eyes stepped past the
row of trees. He held his head high as he tested the air. A breeze
blew faintly behind him, carrying to me his scent of pine and
forest loam, fallen leaves and plentiful food. His coat was thick
and eyes clear. He took another step forward followed by his mate,
a lithe, gray creature with light blue eyes different from any wolf
I had ever seen. She waved her tail slowly from side to side and
her paws pranced with her eagerness to run forward, but she would
wait for her mate to decide.