Keeping the Beat: An Adrenaline Novel (10 page)

              I had read the same sentence for what felt like the tenth time when I heard voices coming from the porch. Tossing the book onto the coffee table, I gripped the fabric of the couch tightly with my nails to stop myself from lurching for the doorknob. Thankfully I didn't have to wait too long before the door opened and Kenzie walked inside. She said something softly to someone on the other side of the door before closing it between them. Resting her forehead against the wood she took a deep breath, not noticing my presence in the living room.

              She was wearing a tight little floral skirt and a black top that showed enough cleavage to make me want to go blacken that Jeremy guy's eyes for getting too close. Her blonde hair was as beautiful as ever, tumbling over her shoulders and down her back in neat blonde curls. With a final sigh she pushed a handful of it away from her face and turned away from the door, her wide grey eyes immediately locking on mine.

              She didn't seem surprised to see me sitting in her living room. Setting her keys in the dish by the door she toed off her shoes and walked towards where I was sitting. Nudging my legs she made room for herself on the couch and plopped down next to me, pulling her long hair into a bun on the top of her head.

              “How was your date?” I managed to force the words out of my mouth though they sounded rusty, like I hadn't spoken for days. Kenzie shrugged her shoulders and tucked her legs beneath her settling further into the cushions.

              “It was alright. Jeremy’s a nice guy.”

             
I blew out a breath and let my head fall back on the couch. Closing my eyes briefly I tried to steady my breathing before looking at Kenzie again. She was watching me carefully, those intelligent eyes taking in every inch of my face as we sat together in the dimly lighted room. “Do you like this guy?”

              “I don’t really know him that well,” she answered, looking confused as to where our conversation was heading. I wasn't so sure myself.

              “Kenzie,” her name came out rough and I saw her shiver, goosebumps breaking out along her bare arms. Reaching behind me I grabbed the blanket she had draped over the back of the sofa and arranged it around her shoulders. As I tugged the afghan around her, I caught a whiff of her shampoo. Leaning forward I buried my nose in her neck for a moment, taking a deep breath before sitting back on the couch. “Are you going to go out with him again?”

              “I’m not sure.” She pulled the blanket tighter around her shoulders. There was a moment where neither of us spoke, simply sitting side by side. “Why are you here, Jace?”

              When I looked at her face, my heart started beating so hard I was sure she could hear it. Staying away from Kenzie no longer seemed like an option if I wanted to hold onto any shred of my sanity. It was time I started telling the truth, for both our sakes.

              “I’m here because there is absolutely nowhere else I would rather be.”

Chapter 9

Kenzie

             
I heard Jace’s words but didn’t understand them. I thought I saw his hazel eyes lingering on my lips but convinced myself I had imagined at it when he gave me a half smile. “I’m feeling a little wired. Not ready for bed yet. How about you?”

              Wired wasn't the word I would use but I nodded my head in agreement. My date with Jeremy had gone alright, but the whole time I had been waiting for it to be over. He was nice but we didn't really have anything to talk about which made the evening seem endless.

The whole thing had been a little awkward, especially when Jeremy had tried to put his arm around my shoulder at the movies. It had made me uncomfortable and I had flinched away, immediately excusing myself to the bathroom. I was grateful he hadn't made a second attempt upon my return.

              When I had gotten home and seen Jace on the couch I had almost sagged with relief. It was as if he knew I needed him. Despite my best efforts of trying to put him out of my mind, by the end of my stress filled date I had been craving his soothing presence. The way he was looking at me put me on edge again. Jace had never looked at me the way he was right now. He had never looked at me with that dark gleam in his eye.

              Deciding to ignore it I picked up the remote and turned on the TV, finding a scary movie right away. When I had set the remote down, Jace picked up my hand and started playing with my fingers, his gaze focused on the screen.

              I jolted at the feel of his callous skin running over mine. I turned to question him, but was distracted by the feel of his fingers tracing my palm in lazy strokes. My face flushed as he continued his lazy caress, his fingers moving to trail up and down my arm.

              “Oh shit!” Jace exclaimed, his eyes widening as he looked over at me. “Are you sure you want to watch this before bed? Did you see that shit?”

              “Uh,” I answered lamely as I looked away from his hand on my arm. “No, I didn't see. I was distracted.”

              “What’s distracting you?” His voice had roughened and my mouth went dry as he leaned towards me. “Are you still feeling cold?”

              Torn between confusion and arousal I placed a hand to his chest to stop him from coming any closer. Even when Jace and I had been on good terms, he’d never acted this way. Like he would devour me whole if given the slightest chance. He settled closer to me on the couch, the weight of his body pressing down on the cushion so that I had no choice but to roll into him.

              Jace threw his arm around my shoulder and tucked me into his side. He sighed contentedly and relaxed back into the cushions. All my senses heightened with sudden awareness. “Is that better?” He asked as I tried to relax.

              I nodded again not knowing how else to respond. Part of me wanted to ask Jace what was going on, but I was terrified that if I did he would stop holding me like he was now. Giving up the fight, I leaned my head against his chest, my hand coming up to rest on his hard abs. I heard Jace hiss out a breath as he shifted under me.

              “I’m sorry,” I said as my face heated. I tried to move away from him but could do no more than wiggle when his arms locked around me.

              “Don’t apologize to me ever, Kenzie,” he said huskily. “I’m the one who's sorry. Please, lay back down.“ He waited for the tension to leave my shoulders before arranging us against the couch cushions. Taking my hand, he placed it back on his stomach. “You have no idea how happy you just made me,” Jace breathed softly. I could hear the smile in his voice and made another effort to stop my racing thoughts.

              My eyes were trained on the television screen, but I had no idea what was going on. The feel of Jace’s body pressed against mine was making my imagination go haywire. I couldn't help but want to run my hands over the rest of him.

              Closing my eyes, I let myself indulge in the fantasy of exploring Jace, feeling his hot breath whoosh over me as I touched him like I had always imagined. I could almost see the heavily lidded look he would give me when he finally gave in and sank deep inside of me the way I had longed for since reading my first romance novel. Jace had been the star of all of my personal fantasies since I was old enough to start having them. 

              When he shifted on the couch I was brought back to the present. I was such a pervert. Here he was being a good friend and I was daydreaming about having sex with him. Again.

     “Are you okay?” He voice rumbled quietly, his fingers stilling from where they’d been playing with a few loose strands of hair that had fallen out of my bun.

              “I’m fine,” I choked out over the embarrassment caught in my throat.

              “No you’re not,” he corrected immediately. “You just went all stiff and I’m pretty sure you stopped breathing for a second.” I was glad our position kept my face hidden from his view. The man seemed so in tune with my body, there was no doubt that if he looked at my face he would know exactly what I had been thinking.

              Jace grabbed the remote and turned the television off before gathering me in his arms and rearranging us so that we were still leaning against one another, only now we were face to face. His hazel eyes darkened as he cupped my cheek in his large hand. “You’re so beautiful, Kenzie,” he whispered, his words leaving me breathless.

              “Jace,” I said his name even as I felt my breath seize in my chest, watching mesmerized as he leaned closer to me. His lips softly kissed my forehead and my nose, before finally settling over mine.

I sighed in contentment, my hands moving to grip his long, silky hair between my fingers. Jace groaned against my lips, his tongue tracing the seam of my mouth once, twice, three times before he pushed between my lips and deepened the kiss. I felt overwhelmed by the sensations rolling through me.

              His hand came up to grip my hair, tilting my head back so that he could gain even more access. I whimpered as his other hand trailed down my face, sliding down the side of my body before gripping my hip, dragging me even closer to him. I could feel his hard length pressing into my hip and gasped as he continued to sip at my mouth like I was a cool drink of water and he was a man dying of thirst. I felt like I was going to explode from the pressure building within me. Jace broke our kiss briefly before his lips came back to mine, nibbling from one corner of my mouth to the other. I felt myself strain against him, wanting to feel his mouth taking over mine again.

              Jace rested his forehead against mine and breathed deeply keeping his eyes closed. With a trembling hand, I reached out and traced his bottom lip with my thumb. When I looked back up, I found his sharp eyes focused on mine. The tender look on his face made my pulse beat even faster than it already was.

              “I’ve wanted to do that for a long time,” Jace said, the gruffness of his voice sending a thrill through my veins. I opened my mouth to speak but no sound came out. Out of all the emotions rioting inside me, confusion was getting closer to the surface. I wanted to demand answers from him, but even more than that I wanted him to kiss me again.

              I grasped his face between my palms and met his lips with my own, relishing in the moan that passed from his mouth into mine. I wondered at the change in him, vaguely concerned about what his motivation was before his tongue twirled around mine and sucked it into his mouth.

              Without breaking our connection, Jace maneuvered us so that I was laying sprawled across his chest, his hands roamed over my back lightly before coming down to grip my backside. I moaned and drew his lower lip between my teeth, sucking on it gently. I rolled my hips into Jace’s, trying to memorize the feel of his hard body pressing into me.

              Moving my hands from his hair to his shoulders, I gripped them tightly as he worked his hand between us. His thumb lightly swept across my breast through the thin fabric of my shirt making me gasp his name as the friction sent a shot of heat straight to my core.

              “God you taste amazing,” Jace grumbled as his hands continued to knead my ass. “I have to stop.” As his words registered, the scalding heat running through my body turned to ice.

In one smooth movement I pushed off of his chest and started across the room. I didn't get very far before Jace’s arms pulled me back. He had sat up on the couch, so that when he tugged I was trapped between his legs. “Where the hell are you going?”

              Trying to look anywhere but at him, I debated trying to escape to my room before he could catch me. The odds of succeeding were not in my favor.

Jace

             
From the look on Kenzie’s face, I could see where her thoughts had gone. She thought I was rejecting her again. How that was even possible after I had all but devoured her on the couch like a damn teenager was beyond me. I watched her closely as she thought about how to get away from me. There wasn't a chance in hell that was happening. Not until I cleared things up between us.

              “Kenzie,” I gentled my voice, taking her face between my hands and making her look me in the eye. “When I said I’ve wanted to kiss you for a long time, I meant it. Somedays it’s literally all I can think about.” I felt the weight on my shoulders start to lift as I began to confess everything that had been building inside of me for the last five years. “When I said I had to stop, it’s because I can’t control myself around you.” I couldn't resist leaning forward and tasting her sweet lips again, loving the way her mouth opened on a sigh. Before I could get too carried away I forced myself to take breath. “Kissing you in my fantasies is nowhere near as good as feeling you kiss me back.”

              I saw delight cross over her face before her grey eyes clouded over again. “Jace, is this because I went out on a date with Jeremy tonight?”

              I took a second to think about what I wanted to say. I'd lied to Kenzie and myself for so long and it had been slowly eating away at me. I didn't want to do that anymore. "That's part of it," I began trying not to stumble over my words, "but a bigger part of it is I'm selfish and I can't keep pretending I don't have feelings for you.” Kenzie's jaw literally dropped as she gaped at me. She was so adorable. Reaching out I lightly tapped her chin with the back of my hand. “You’ll catch flies like that, sugar."

              "You have feelings for me," she repeated slowly.

              "Big time," I agreed with a nod. Now that I had held Kenzie in my arms, felt how absolutely right we were I was more sure than ever. Her brow furrowed so I traced my thumb over it to smooth the tiny wrinkles that had formed.

              "How long have you had feelings for me?" She asked still looking slightly dazed.

              “Since you turned seventeen," I admitted sheepishly. "I had no right to be thinking that way. I'm nearly a decade older than you," I continued on ignoring her when she rolled her eyes. "When you started to tour with us, I was half out my mind with wanting you, Kenzie. There were times I was sure you knew and were going to call me out on it. And then you did."

              A hard look had entered her eye letting me know that stubborn Kenzie had entered the conversation. "I remember."

              I nodded sharply, wishing we could both forget what an idiot I had been. "By that time I wanted nothing more than to push my cousins off of a cliff. Especially Garret. Things had felt different between us and I assumed it was the same for them. I wanted to kill them for it. Seeing how affectionate you were with them just about did me in."

              "Jace," she cut me off shaking her head. Kenzie placed her hands on my shoulders and used them to stand up. She took a few steps away from me, placing her hands on her narrow hips.

              "If you felt that way, why did you push me away after I kissed you?” Her voice had grown dark as she glared at me, her grey eyes flashing with sudden temper. "Why did you tell me you'd never want me then go fuck Sydney West in the barn a half hour later?"

              I felt all of the blood drain from my face as the memory of that night came rushing back to me. After Kenzie had kissed me so innocently I had gotten completely wasted in record time. I was still vaguely surprised I hadn't had alcohol poisoning. I remembered feeling empty. Empty from hating myself and empty from loving Kenzie.

              "Kenzie," I closed my eyes tightly, hating myself even more for my past mistakes. "I'm sorry. I had no idea you'd seen that."

              "But what about all the others Jace?" She backed up and began to put even more distance between us. Her grey eyes were beginning to flicker with sparks of pent up anger. "Couldn't you see what that was doing to me?"

              ”I was too self involved. I knew I didn't deserve you and the best way to show you that was to be a total dick."

              "And now because another guy might be interested in me, you've done a one eighty?" She asked tightly. Her hands came up to circle her temples once before she dropped them to her side. "Jace, you hurt me.” She shook her head when I opened my mouth to apologize again. "From the first day I met you, you felt like home to me. Someone safe. Someone who cared about me as much as my brother does. With the Cooper's it took time for me to relax with them. Not to flinch when Mrs. C reached out to brush my hair back or when Mr. Cooper spoke to me.”