Kholodov's Last Mistress (9 page)

He’d never had a woman respond as Hannah had. But then he’d never had a woman like Hannah before. He swallowed, his hands clenching into fists against the sheet. He didn’t want to feel this clench of his emotions; sex should have satisfied that. Instead he only felt more need.

Silently Hannah slid from the bed. Sergei heard the bathroom door click shut and felt a fierce relief. He didn’t want to endure some kind of sentimental pillow talk, and he was glad Hannah seemed to feel the same. Yet as he lay there waiting for his heart rate to slow and Hannah stayed in the bathroom, he started to feel uneasy. Unsure. And he didn’t like that at all.

He quickly disposed of the condom and then stalked to the bathroom, rapping sharply on the door. ‘Are you all right?’

‘I’m fine,’ Hannah retorted. She sounded as annoyed as he felt, and somehow that irritated him all the more.

Refusing to question her further, to
care
, he swung away from the door and reached for his boxers. A few minutes later Hannah opened the door. Sergei turned, and to his surprise saw that she was dressed. She must have grabbed her clothes on the way into the bathroom. She even had her heels on.

‘Where,’ he asked in a dangerously mild voice, ‘are you going?’

‘Home.’ She turned away from him, reaching for the coat she’d slung on a chair by the fire that had already died to a few flickering embers.
That
hadn’t lasted long.

Sergei folded his arms. Tried to stare her down, but she wouldn’t look at him. ‘Why?’

Hannah thrust her arms into the sleeves of her coat. Her hair fell forward, obscuring her face. ‘Because. I’m tired, and I want to sleep. I have to work tomorrow.’

All reasonable, all infuriating. Sergei did not want to consider why Hannah’s no-nonsense approach to their night—or, really, few hours—together aggravated him. He was used to being the one who was first. First from the bed, first out of the door. Hannah had beaten him to it—twice.

‘You can sleep here,’ he said, keeping his voice even. ‘I’ll drive you in the morning.’

Hannah stopped buttoning her coat and gave him a long, level look. When he’d first met her, he’d seen so many emotions in those open, guileless eyes. Now he couldn’t tell a thing. ‘I don’t think that’s a good idea.’

He was getting tired of her telling him what to do. He took a step towards her. ‘Well, I think it’s a fine idea. And I have no desire to get dressed and drive you home after midnight.’

‘Fine,’ Hannah said evenly. ‘I’ll call a cab.’

Sergei nearly swore. ‘No.’

Now he saw an emotion in her eyes: exasperation. ‘What
is with you, Sergei? We both know what this was. We wanted to finish what was started a year ago, and so we did. Neither of us expected anything more than that.’

Sergei felt a muscle bunch in his jaw. He was practically grinding his teeth. ‘I’m not finished.’ She stared at him, and he saw her eyes darken with what he knew was sorrow or fear or maybe even anger. Something he didn’t want to see there. ‘And I don’t think you’re finished either,
milaya moya.
’

‘I told you before, don’t call me that.’

‘It means my sweet—’

‘I know what it means. And I know you only say it when you’re trying to show how in control and tough you are, how much I must
want
you.’ She glared at him, her eyes so dark they looked almost black, fury pulsating in every taut line of her slender body. ‘I’m finished, okay? It was very nice, but I’ve had enough. I want to go home.’

Very
nice?
Sergei would have been offended if he believed her. And he would have believed her if her voice hadn’t wobbled and her body hadn’t shook as if she were in the grip of a fever, her eyes huge and dark in her pale face. She was lying. Why?

He stepped aside even though it cost him.

‘All right. Go.’

Hannah stared at him in disbelief. Had she actually expected him to insist she stay? Imprison her here? And the fact that he wasn’t sent a sliver of disappointment needling her heart. A ridiculous reaction, and just another reason to get out of here as fast as she could.

‘Fine.’ Maybe he had finished with her after all. She’d become tedious again. She smothered the stab of hurt that thought caused and marched towards the door.

Just as she reached for the handle Sergei moved. He slid
into the small space between her and the door, so close she could feel his body against hers, could
remember—

‘Don’t—’

‘Please stay, Hannah.’ Gone was the gruff and imperious assassin of a man who called her
my sweet,
and with just three little words, uttered in such a low, raw voice, Hannah’s determined defiance leaked right out of her.

‘Don’t,’ she said again, softly, because she didn’t have any more strength. It had taken just about all of it to roll from the bed as if she hadn’t a care in the world, to dress and face him down as if she really wanted to go. As if it really had been simple. Just sex.

Sergei touched her cheek with one thumb, and Hannah closed her eyes. Why did he have to be kind now? Gentle when she wanted him to be gruff? Was this just another weapon, a way to control her? For she had no illusions about Sergei now; she couldn’t afford to have them, even when he was kind. Even if he’d held her in his arms as if she were a treasure. He wasn’t finished, so he’d make sure she wasn’t either.

Yet here he was touching her cheek, his caress so very soft, his voice a thrum in his chest, a whisper that bridged the chasm that she had opened up between them.

‘I don’t want you to go.’

Hannah opened her eyes. Forced out the one question she knew she needed to ask. ‘When, then?’

Sergei was silent for a long moment. His thumb stroked her cheek, softly, so softly. ‘I don’t know when,’ he finally said, a confession.

And Hannah knew what that meant. There would be a when. At some point what burned between them now would flicker out to embers or even ashes. And then he would tell her to go.

Yet now with his body so close, his heart against hers, she
felt that sweet molten longing trickle through her and if he kissed her she knew she’d say yes. She’d say yes,
please.

Still, a part of her had to fight. Fight him, and fight the fear and need in herself. She shook her head, silently, her eyes closed. Not much of a protest, but it was all she could manage.

‘Hannah, please.’

His entreaty moved her, made her realise he wanted this as much as she did … whatever
this
was. An affair? A fling? She opened her eyes. Stared him down. ‘Just what are you suggesting?’

‘Come with me.’

‘Where?’

‘I have to go to Paris for a business event—come with me.’

Paris.
Hannah felt a thrill of excitement and longing, even as she remained wary. She still didn’t know just what Sergei was suggesting. Somehow she didn’t picture them visiting the Eiffel Tower and the Louvre together, a happy couple on holiday. Yet still she wanted to go, and the knowledge surely damned her. ‘And what am I meant to do there?’

His mouth quirked up and his expression turned lazy; he knew he had her. He knew he’d won. ‘I’m sure we can think of a few things to do.’

So that was how it was going to be. Fighting the sudden, insane urge to cry, Hannah smiled back. She would go; had she really even had a choice? It didn’t feel like it, not where Sergei was concerned. ‘I’m sure we could.’

His smile widened, a smile of triumph, and he swept her into his arms, kissing her thoroughly. Yet even as his lips moved on hers she felt as if he were retreating from her, closing himself off. It was bizarre to be so physically close to someone and yet feel so utterly emotionally distant, as if all they’d shared before—the intensity, the intimacy—hadn’t ever happened. Or at least it hadn’t been real.

‘It will be good,’ Sergei told her, and Hannah buried her face in his neck, wishing she could ignore the tidal wave of longing that crashed over her as soon as she was in his arms again. ‘We’ll have fun,’ he promised. Her face still hidden from him, Hannah didn’t answer. Of course this was about fun. Easy, simple fun.

Nothing else. For either of them.

S
ERGEI
put things in motion the very next day. They drove to New York, and from there took a private jet to Paris. As Hannah stepped aboard, eyeing the leather sofas and low tables, she gazed at Sergei in incredulity.

‘This is yours?’

He shrugged his assent and a steward took their coats before retreating to the front of the plane.

‘Don’t you feel guilty using this big plane just for yourself?’ she couldn’t help but ask. ‘Think of the fuel costs. You could just as easily travel first class.’

‘I find this a necessary luxury,’ Sergei told her. ‘I need to get places quickly, and I also prefer the heightened security of a private plane. But don’t worry. I assure you my businesses are environmentally aware.’

She put her hands on her hips, giving him a playfully challenging look. ‘Well, I should hope so. You obviously have a lot of power, Sergei. You should use it for good.’

His lips twitched with amusement as he surveyed her. ‘Thank you, teacher. Now would you like a tour of this private jet of mine?’

She acknowledged her own shameless curiosity with a little laugh. ‘Yes, please.’

Sergei took her through the entire plane, from the cockpit where the pilot stood to attention and chatted with them
both easily in English for several minutes, to the study with a walnut desk and leather chairs, to the bedroom in the back with a huge king-size bed and en-suite bathroom. The plane came with everything.

‘Wow,’ Hannah said as she surveyed the bedroom. ‘You could basically live on this thing.’

Sergei stood in the doorway, watching her. ‘Sometimes it feels like I do.’

She glanced at him, her breath catching in her chest at the sight of him and that intent, hooded look he was giving her. Even now, with Hannah knowing what would most assuredly happen between them later, he made her heart beat faster. ‘Doesn’t it get lonely?’

He shrugged. ‘I’m used to it.’

To jetting around the world,
Hannah wondered,
or to loneliness?
‘Is there any place you’d call home? A house or an apartment, I mean?’

‘Yes.’

‘In Moscow?’

He hesitated. ‘Near there.’

Hannah decided not to press. ‘Well, for a home in the sky, this is pretty amazing. I feel like I should pinch myself, because this can’t be real.’

He came towards her in two strides, smiling as he pulled her easily into his arms. ‘Oh, this is very real,’ he murmured, and, hooking his leg around her ankles, he tripped her very neatly and gently back onto the bed.

Hannah laughed as she fell into the soft duvet, the mattress dipping as Sergei settled beside her. He bent to kiss her throat and Hannah’s eyes fluttered closed.

‘Very real,’ he said again, and moved lower.

‘Yes, but—’ Her thoughts were scattered, hazy, as pleasure took over. Sergei slid his hand under her shirt. ‘This isn’t the only thing that’s real.’ She felt Sergei hesitate, his palm flat
on her abdomen, and made herself continue, ‘You didn’t just bring me here for this, did you, Sergei?’

She felt his emotional withdrawal like a physical thing, as if the room had cooled ten degrees. Or maybe twenty. She opened her eyes, saw him staring down at her with a deep frown line between his eyes. Why had she pressed? She knew what she’d agreed to.

It was just, Hanna thought with a pang, when they got along so well and he smiled like that it made her want more.
Believe
in more.

‘Did you?’ she whispered even though she hadn’t meant to press.

Gently Sergei traced the lines of her face with one finger. The arc of her eyebrow, the curve of her cheek. ‘No,’ he said quietly, ‘I didn’t.’

But then he rose from the bed, his back to her, and any intimacy that moment had woven was broken. ‘Let’s go back to the lounge,’ he said. ‘The plane will be taking off any moment.’

The extravagance continued in Paris. A limo waited for them at the airport, and drove them to the George V, where Sergei had booked a royal suite. Hannah walked through the elegant rooms with their amazing antiques and priceless paintings, unabashedly marvelling at everything. She stopped in front of a large-screen plasma TV, discreetly hidden behind a painting that swung back at the push of a button.

‘I suppose this comes with cable?’ she asked, eyebrows raised, and Sergei leaned one shoulder against the doorway, a smile tugging at his mouth.

‘You have to pay extra.’

‘I
knew
this place was cheap.’

He laughed aloud, and the sound touched Hannah’s heart. She grinned at him. ‘Actually,’ he told her, ‘I believe there are over three hundred channels.’

‘Only three hundred?’ She shook her head. ‘That’s rather shabby.’

‘I’ll make a complaint.’

‘You must think me very gauche,’ Hannah said, turning serious even though she kept her tone light. ‘This is all so out of my experience.’

‘I don’t mind that.’

‘Really?’

‘Really. It was out of my experience too, once.’

‘You’re a self-made man.’

‘You could say that.’

She nodded playfully towards the huge TV. ‘So it’s okay if I channel surf?’

‘Oh, I think we can think of better things to do than watch TV,’ Sergei told her, and closed the space between them. Hannah stepped into the circle of his arms, resting her cheek against his shoulder. She knew Sergei wanted to kiss her, to turn this softness into seduction. She wouldn’t let him, not quite yet. For a second at least she just wanted to stay in the circle of his arms and feel the beat of his heart against her own. She gave a little sigh of happiness, and Sergei stepped away from her, sliding his BlackBerry out of his pocket. ‘We should go.’

She tried to suppress the pang of disappointment his withdrawal gave her. ‘Go? We just got here.’

‘You have an appointment at a boutique in an hour.’

She stared at him in surprise. ‘A boutique?’

‘You’ll be accompanying me to various functions. Based on the dress you wore to dinner the other night, I think you might need a few more things.’ He didn’t even look at her as he said it, and Hannah felt her fragile spirits plummet. Ridiculous, when Sergei had just told her he wanted to buy her clothes. What woman wouldn’t want that?

Yet somehow the thought that he was going to outfit her
felt sordid. Wrong. As if he were buying her favours, or keeping her sweet.

She turned towards the bedroom. ‘Okay. I’ll just go freshen up.’

‘Fine,’ Sergei said, his gaze still focused on his phone. Hannah wondered if he even noticed she’d gone.

‘Twirl.’

Hannah obeyed the saleswoman and twirled, the lavender skirt of the silk evening gown belling out around her.

From the sofa in the boutique’s private dressing room, Sergei, his BlackBerry in one hand and a sheaf of papers on his lap, nodded and smiled. ‘Perfect.’ He turned back to his work and the saleswoman led Hannah back to the curtained changing area and the next gown she would slip on for Sergei’s approval.

‘How about this one?’ The saleswoman reached for a gown that was a column of black silk, elegant and stark.

‘Okay.’ It was her third shopping trip in as many days and by now Hannah had stopped bothering to have an opinion about any of the clothes Sergei insisted on buying her. Since they’d arrived in Paris she felt as if he were putting her in her place and it wasn’t a comfortable fit.

He’d distanced himself, made her feel like … like a mistress. What an awful thought. Yet clearly an imbalance existed in their relationship. An inequality.

Who was she kidding, Hannah thought as she slipped into the rather severe black dress. They didn’t even
have
a relationship. They’d had three days of some spectacular sex and a few tender moments. That was all.

Yet she loved those moments, loved bantering with Sergei, watching those ice-blue eyes soften to sky when she made him laugh. Yet she felt as if Sergei was wearing his authority
and power like a shield, armour that kept him closed off from every emotion.

Even so, those rare moments were enough to make her feel different, lighter, almost a return to the woman she’d once been. The woman who believed in hope, and happiness, and maybe even love.

No. She couldn’t go there. Couldn’t afford to think like that, because she knew it wasn’t true. Hadn’t the last year taught her anything? Matthew’s deception, her parents’ trickery, even Sergei himself. His brutal rejection back in Moscow still had the power to wound, and now she was only here because he wanted her to be. And when he stopped …

‘Hannah?’ Impatience edged Sergei’s voice and Hannah took a deep breath.

‘Coming.’ She left the changing room, her steps awkward and mincing in the tight black column of a dress. Sergei’s eyes narrowed as he took in the latest fashion.

‘No.’ He turned back to his BlackBerry, punched in a few numbers.

‘No?’
Hannah stood there, feeling ridiculous and a little bit vulnerable, hating that Sergei said no so quickly. Held so much sway.

He looked up again, and in his eyes she saw another swift assessment and dismissal of the dress, of her. ‘No.’

‘Of course,’ the saleswoman murmured, attempting to lead her away. ‘We’ll try something else.’

Hannah jerked her arm away from the woman and stared at Sergei. ‘Why no?’

‘Because I don’t like black.’

‘You were dressed all in black when I first met you,’ Hannah pointed out. ‘You liked it well enough then.’

Sergei’s eyes narrowed. ‘All right,’ he said, his tone clearly conveying that she was stretching his patience, ‘I don’t like black on you. It makes you look washed out.’

Hannah blinked.
Ouch,
even if she kind of agreed with him. She still didn’t like how autocratic and distant he was being. She’d wanted to resist this whole shopping expedition, but she hadn’t had the strength or a really good reason to. She was already accepting his largesse by getting on the plane, staying in the hotel, sleeping with him every night. Wasn’t this all part of the package?

Yet still something about it felt wrong. Sordid and cheap, no matter how much money Sergei was shelling out. Silently she turned and went back to the dressing room.

‘Perhaps something brighter …’ the saleswoman murmured, ruffling through racks of clothing, but Hannah just shook her head.

‘I’m done.’

The saleswoman looked alarmed; Hannah supposed Sergei’s mistresses weren’t meant to object to him dropping a fortune on their clothes. Yet already she was tired of playing the game. Fed up with acting like being showered with clothes and ordered around was what she wanted. The only times she’d enjoyed these last three days were the ones where she didn’t feel like an expensive ornament, the moments where they had actually been real with each other. She could count them on one hand.

She slid the dress off and rummaged through the discarded gowns for the simple jeans and tee shirt she’d entered the boutique in. They weren’t there. She looked up, saw the saleswoman eyeing her with obvious apprehension.

‘Where are my clothes?’

‘Mr Kholodov asked me to get rid of them—’

‘
Rid
of them?’ Without another word she stalked out of the changing room, the rings of the curtain clattering against one another as she pushed it aside.

Sergei looked up from his BlackBerry, his eyes flaring as
he took her in standing there in just her underwear. At least her bra and panties, worn as they might be, were her own.

Then the corner of his mouth quirked up in a smile and he lounged back against the sofa, his thumb still punching buttons. ‘Aren’t you a little cold?’

‘No,’ she said, hands on her hips, ‘I’m not cold. I’m angry.’

‘Angry?’

She raised her eyebrows. ‘You know that word?’

Now his smile disappeared and he tossed his phone onto the sofa, leaning forward so Hannah could see the dangerous glitter in his eyes. ‘Oh, yes,’ he said softly. ‘I know that word.’

‘I don’t want you to buy me clothes, Sergei.’

He arched an eyebrow. ‘You have an objection to being clothed?’

‘You know what I mean.’

‘Actually, I don’t.’ He gazed at her levelly, staring her down, and from the ice in his eyes Hannah knew he wasn’t going to try to understand what she meant, or where she was coming from. He didn’t want to. And how could she explain? It wasn’t just about the clothes. It was about everything, about them, and what she’d agreed to by coming with him on this trip. Just how much of her soul—and body—she felt she was selling.

She hadn’t realised it would be like this.
Feel
like this.

‘If you object to the gowns, forget them,’ Sergei said abruptly. ‘Just wear the lavender one tonight. It matches your eyes.’

And just like that she felt her fury trickle away, to her own shame. ‘Tonight?’

‘We are attending a charity gala.’ Sergei continued, his voice gentling, ‘Why don’t you get dressed?’

‘In what clothes? The saleswoman got rid of mine.’

‘Pick whatever you want—’

‘I don’t want any of it.’

Sergei let out an exasperated breath. ‘Most women I know don’t object to my buying them a few clothes,’ he finally said, his voice deliberately mild, and tears stung Hannah’s eyes.

‘Exactly,’ she said, and, realising how limited her options were at the moment, standing as she was in the middle of the dressing room in her underwear, she turned on her heel and went back to the changing area.

Sergei let out an irritated breath and turned back to the text he’d been composing on his BlackBerry. Only now he’d forgotten what it was about.

Why was Hannah being so prickly? So difficult? He’d thought he’d been treating her, buying her a few nice things. Just as he’d said, most women—

Except Hannah wasn’t like most women.

Sergei swore under his breath. He rose from the sofa and restlessly paced the confines of the dressing room. The last few days had been good, he’d thought. Simple. He knew what to do with a woman when he was taking her to Paris, wining and dining and pleasuring her until the small hours of the night. He’d been smugly satisfied to have Hannah exactly where he wanted her, in his bed, out of his mind. He’d finally reverted to his former self, efficient and distant, with a woman adorning his arm.