Killer Love (9 page)

****

Jade paced the small bedroom, feeling claustrophobic and agitated. Like the rest of the cabin, the room was sparsely furnished. On one side was a double bed covered in a starburst-patterned quilt. Next to it was a nightstand with a bronze lamp and near the window, a three drawer dresser. She walked over to the dresser and stared at her reflection in the mirror. The white gauze on her neck resembled a macabre necklace. The doctor had instructed her to change the bandage at bedtime and she reached up to grip the edge of the gauze. She hesitated, reluctant to reveal what lay beneath.

Just do it, dammit. It’s only a scar. It’s not the end of the world. Not like it was for those young girls.

Tears clouded her vision and she wondered if they were for herself or for the innocent victims of her husband. Dear God, how many lives had he destroyed? Were any of them girls Jade had actually met? Girls who’d come through the shelter seeking safety and love? The thought made her sick with grief and helplessness. And to think she’d shared a bed with him. She shuddered, a rush of bile rising to the back of her throat. Oh God, how could she not have sensed the kind of man he was? How could she have let him touch her?

Pushing those thoughts aside, she clenched the bandage and, gritting her teeth, gave one quick yank. A sharp sting, as if the flesh on her neck had also been ripped away, made her yelp with pain. Her eyes watered and she squeezed them shut, willing away the sensation while she searched for the courage to view Bryce’s handiwork. Slowly, she lifted her lids. She gave an involuntary gasp as her gaze dropped to her injury.

The wound was about four inches long. The edges were puckered and red streaks ran through the center. It wasn’t a straight cut; it angled from the middle of her throat and down the right side.

She wanted to turn away, but like a gawker at the scene of an accident, she couldn’t. Waves of panic rose from her stomach to her throat. God, she was hideous. The doctors had said the wound would leave a scar but she hadn’t been prepared for this. She trembled and her knees went weak. Gripping the edge of the vanity, she finally looked away from her reflection as hot tears burned down her cheeks.

She didn’t know how long she stood there, head bowed and weeping, but however long it had been was long enough. Looking back into the mirror, she saw that the eyes staring at her were red and swollen. She shook her head in disgust. She was tired of the pity trip, tired of feeling sorry for herself.

She had to be strong. She would get through this and start a new life. There was nothing for her here except hurtful reminders...and Melanie...and the kids at the shelter. The thought of never seeing Melanie or the kids again brought another lump to her throat, but this time, she fought back the tears.

She used a hand towel to dry her face and replaced the bandage with a fresh one. She put on her pajamas and climbed into bed, but she couldn’t sleep, even after taking one of the sleeping pills the doctor had given her. She pulled the covers tightly around her shoulders and shifted to her side...but still, she lay wide awake.

Giving up in frustration, she climbed out of bed and dressed in sweat pants and a hooded pullover.

In the kitchen, she nuked a cup of water and dropped in a tea bag. She sat at the kitchen table and rested her elbows on the surface, covering her face with her hands. Tears formed in her eyes and seeped between her fingertips. She hated to admit it, even to herself, but she was terrified. Scared of starting a new life but just as afraid of the old one. She didn’t want to run away but she knew that she had no choice, especially with Bryce on the loose. There was no telling what he would do to her if he ever found her. An icy chill swept through her, fear twitching like a living thing inside her.

“You should try to get some sleep.”

She jolted, her hands flying from her face. Whirling, she found Agent Butler standing in the doorway. Quickly, she swiped at the tears on her cheeks. “I didn’t hear you come in.”

“I’m sorry if I startled you.” He wore the same clothes he’d worn earlier in the evening. Apparently, just like her, he had no intention of sleeping tonight. He seemed taller in the dim light of the kitchen. There was something mysterious, even slightly dangerous about him.

She swallowed, her heart pounding. “You didn’t.” She told him but her quavering voice belied the words.

His eyes moved over her face and her hand subconsciously went to her throat.

A reassuring smile touched his mouth. “Mind if I join you?”

She minded. Very much. She was mentally exhausted and the last thing she wanted was to try to make conversation with this unsettling man. Most of all, she didn’t want his pity. But she didn’t tell him any of that. Instead she nodded toward the chair opposite hers. “Not at all.”

He took the seat and watched as she dipped the tea bag into the steaming water. She took a drink and looked at him over the rim of the cup.

“We all have scars, you know,” he told her enigmatically.

She wasn’t sure if he referred to something personal, or if he was just making conversation to help her feel better. She nodded. “I guess some are just more visible than others.”

“It’s the internal scars that take the longest to heal.” His amber eyes penetrated the darkness, gazing at her so intently, she had the sensation he was looking into her soul.

She dropped her gaze to her tea cup, feeling breathless all of a sudden as her cheeks flushed with warmth. Not knowing how to respond, she nodded and gave a nervous laugh. "I always thought the Witness Protection Program was just something out of a movie,” she said, feeling dense as soon as the words were out of her mouth. She shrugged, hoping her discomfort didn’t show. "I guess it never really dawned on me that it was real."

"Yes, it's real. It's not exactly something that gets a lot of press. There have been some problems with it in the past; some of the witnesses in the program are just as bad, or worse, than the people the government is trying to prosecute. Unfortunately, there have been several cases where a protected witness commits a crime while they’re under the government’s protection. One man murdered his entire family.”

“Dear God, how awful. Why would they protect someone like that?”

Agent Butler shrugged. “He had the goods on some very bad men. Years ago, the mob literally ran the east coast. No one was willing to testify because anyone who tried, ended up dead before the trial started. Things changed once the program was put into place. It’s very well run and once a witness is relocated, their safety is almost guaranteed. WITSEC has never lost a witness while in the program. As long as you follow the guidelines, they can protect you. If you violate any of the rules, the protection ends."

"Sounds like you've got it all figured out. Too bad I don't."

"You'll be fine. Just look at it as an adventure."

Jade grimaced. "I've had enough adventure in the past week to last me a lifetime."

"I know." He smiled gently. "Are you feeling okay? Does that give you much pain?" he asked, indicating her throat.

She reached up to touch the bandage. "Not too bad."

"I saw a light on in your bedroom so I figured you were having trouble sleeping."

"Not because of the pain. I always leave a light on, even when I sleep."

"Really? Why?"

"I'm afraid of the dark," she answered, then felt her face flush with warmth. Why had she revealed such a personal detail to a total stranger?

He nodded as if a grown woman being afraid of the dark was the most natural thing in the world. "There isn’t a lot of nighttime left but you really should try to get some sleep."

"I can't sleep, even with the pills the doctor prescribed.”

“You’ve got a lot on your mind and you’ve been through hell this past week, so that’s understandable.”

“Do you think you’ll ever find El Lobo?”

Butler quickly flicked his gaze to hers. “We won’t give up until we catch him.”

Somehow, his words reassured her like Jackson’s hadn’t. “Thank you.” She smiled gratefully. Knowing that Bryce was out there somewhere was bad enough, but the thought of both men on the loose, maybe looking for her...aware that she could identify them...

She shivered, the flesh on the back of her neck tingling with fear.

In spite of the terror that thought invoked, the realization dawned on her that for some reason, in the intimate coziness of this room, sitting next to Luke Butler, she felt oddly safe.

****

Jade’s voice wrapped around Luke in the semi darkness, sending a shiver up his spine. He didn’t recall that husky quality when he’d heard her speak before and wondered if it was due to her injury.

Her hair in the dim light of the kitchen reminded him of warm honey. Hazel in the light, her eyes now took on a deep green tint, like a jungle cat...a beautiful cat, trapped and forced into captivity. Her posture was like that of someone expecting a blow, but ready to withstand it.

He looked at her hands wrapped around the coffee cup and thought about how soft and fragile they'd felt when he’d held them in the hospital. He had an absurd urge to touch them once again, to wrap his arms around her and hold her body against his.

Damn, where had that come from? He couldn’t afford to think about this woman like that. Couldn't afford the luxury of desiring her, of wondering what her skin would taste like, what it would feel like to kiss her.

Her voice startled him out of his treacherous reverie. "I still don’t understand why he saved my life.”

He cringed inwardly, knowing she was talking about Smith, about
him
. “Could be several reasons. Maybe he wanted to keep you alive. Use you for leverage in case they got in a tight spot.”

She leaned her elbows on the table and pillowed her head in her hands. “God, it’s all so crazy. So confusing.”

He didn’t like her asking questions about El Lobo. It was important he not expose his undercover role. He might have to use it again one day. It could also possibly jeopardize the undercover agents still out in the field.

He should have known she would ask. He had hoped that the trauma of her injury would keep her from remembering but obviously, that hadn’t happened.

Jade rose from the table and moved to the window. She sipped her tea and peered outside. “It’s so quiet out here. And so dark.” She turned back to him. “How many agents did you say would be here at all times?”

“No less than four.”

She nodded. “Will you be one of them?”

“Most of the time.”

She nodded again, seeming satisfied with his answer. Moving back to the table she sat down, a haunted look in her eyes. “How am I going to live with all this guilt?”

"What do you feel guilty about?"

"Allowing Bryce to do what he did. To hurt those poor girls."

"It's not your fault. My partner, Delia, helped the girls escape. I don't think any of them were actually hurt."

“What about the other times? I’m sure he’s done this before. How many other girls were there? Do you have any idea?”

Luke took his time replying, then reluctantly admitted, “I’m afraid we don’t. But, our government has contacted the Mexican government and they’re being very cooperative. They’ve agreed to let us send agents over there to investigate and have offered assistance in helping to locate any girls that may have been victims in the past. Or as many of them as possible.”

“Good,” Jade said quietly. Then she gave him a look of sympathy. “Delia? She was the woman Bryce murdered? She was your partner?"

Grief weighted his chest like a block of cement, but he kept his voice even. "Yes. We’re fairly certain your husband is responsible for her death."

"You must hate me," she said, her eyes shimmering with tears and self-loathing.

"You had nothing to do with it."

"I should’ve stopped him."

An image of DiMarco holding the blade to Jade’s neck flashed in his mind. He recalled the helplessness and the rage he’d felt as she slid to the floor, blood pouring from the wound. He gave himself a mental shake, wondering why the sight of her near death had affected him so profoundly when he’d seen more than his share of murder victims. Dragging in a breath, he said, “You did try and you almost died. Everyone did the best they could.” He didn’t acknowledge his role in Delia’s death. The fact that she wouldn’t have been out there, chasing the lead, if it hadn’t been for him.

She nodded, but the hazel eyes were still haunted. “I’m just sorry it wasn’t enough for your partner.”

Pushing back from the table, Luke stood and looked down at her. He felt the need to escape. Not only from his grief over Delia but also from the inappropriate thoughts he’d been entertaining about a witness. "You should try to rest. You may only be here for a few more days. As soon as your application is processed, the US Marshal’s service will take you to your new location. You should spend the time trying to heal."

“Ok,” she replied.

Not looking back to see if she would heed his advice, Luke left the room and headed to the front door. Maybe he’d take a look outside, walk around a bit. He wasn’t supposed to be on watch tonight but he knew he couldn’t sleep. He was wound as tight as a spring, his body filled with a strange combination of sadness and desire.

Chapter Six

Solitaire, Colorado

One Month Later

Jade pounded the heavy bag with a series of quick thrusts, feeling the vibration travel through her gloves and into her shoulders. The pungent odor of sweat hung in the air and filled her nostrils. A few of her fellow jujitsu students had stayed after class to work out. Over the noise of her own heavy breathing, she heard the slap of flesh against leather, punctuated with an occasional grunt.

She stepped back and used the towel around her neck to wipe the perspiration from her scar. Her injury had healed but it still itched like a swarm of ants had invaded her skin. Ignoring the discomfort, she continued practicing and felt a keen satisfaction as she landed a solid roundhouse back kick on the helpless bag.

She’d been taking jujitsu lessons six days a week and had learned a great deal about self-defense. She’d also taken some private lessons from her instructor, Cal Steiner. She told him that she had fled from an abusive relationship and was afraid her ex-boyfriend might find her.