Kin (33 page)

Finally the canoe righted itself and David grabbed the other oar. He would've preferred to be in the back to steer the canoe, but it was too late now. “All right, I'll start on my right; you start on your left.”

“Aye, aye, captain,” she laughed behind him.

The water was calm when they started, but got a little choppy as they paddled out of sight of the cottage.

“I don't want to go too far,” he said.

“Honest to God, you're like an old woman. When did you turn into Mom?”

“Shut it, squirt.”

They paddled along the shore and listened to the birds.

“I love it when the leaves are new,” she said. “The green is so delicious.”

The sun went behind the clouds and the temperature dropped considerably.

“Brr…I should've brought a sweater and put something on over these shorts.”

David wasn't listening. He was worried that the prevailing winds were taking them farther and farther from shore. If he'd been with Henry or the boys they could've powered their way home, but Annie didn't have as much strength.

“Annie, I think we should head back,” he shouted behind him.

“That's what I was thinking.”

They turned around and paddled quickly, but now the current was against them and made it much tougher.

“I don't think we're making any headway,” she said.

“It would be a good idea to start that engine behind you.”

“How do I do that?”

Shit. If only he'd been in the back. He tried to explain it and she followed his instructions, but every time she pulled the cord, the engine stalled.

“I can't do it! Change seats.” Her teeth were chattering and she was covered in goose bumps.

“That's a bad idea. We don't want to tip this thing over while we're trying to switch spots.” He took off his shirt and threw it at her. “Put that on. I'm sure someone will notice we're missing and get in the speedboat and we'll be home before you know it.”

She put on the shirt. “Pratfall's gonna kill me.”

“Does the shirt help?”

She nodded.

“Let's keep paddling to keep warm.”

She nodded again.

David had never paddled so hard in his life, or for so long. He kept looking back at Annie and thinking how thin she was. Why hadn't he noticed that before? Annie wasn't fragile, she was larger than life, but now her scrawny arms stuck out of his shirtsleeves like two toothpicks.

“I think we're making progress,” she said slowly.

David knew they weren't. And he didn't like the sound of Annie's voice. The waves got choppier and the wind picked up. The canoe was now moving from side to side. They mustn't tip over. The water in May was still ice-cold. All these thoughts were going round and round in his head. He was so angry with her.

“You should've listened to me!”

“Sorry, Davy.”

He didn't know what to do. If he could get the engine going they'd be all right. “Okay, now do what I tell you. You're going to have to lie down if you can, so we can keep it steady.”

She wasn't listening.

“Annie!”

He startled her, and that sudden small movement caused her to lean too far. The water poured into the left side of the canoe and in only a few seconds they were swamped, the canoe now bobbing upside down in the ocean.

The shock of cold was the first thing that hit him. He thought he saw Annie's legs kicking before they disappeared behind the other side of the canoe. He treaded water, waves splashing in his face with the overturned hull like a whale between them.

“Annie! Annie!”

He heard a small voice. “I'm here!”

David swam over to her side of the boat. She was clinging to the side but kept slipping. “Davy, help me!”

He grabbed her around the waist and on pure adrenalin alone heaved her up as far as he could so she could hang on with most of her body out of the water.

“The engine is weighing down the boat.. I'm going to try and take it off.”

“No! Don't leave me!”

“It's okay. You'll be all right. You sing ‘Onward Christian Soldiers' until I come back up.”

He dove back under the canoe hoping there'd be an air pocket, but as he suspected the engine kept that from happening. David popped up to the surface again and heard Annie singing before he took another deep breath and went down again, trying to feel where the screws were in the murky water. He twisted with all his might but they wouldn't budge.

Back up to the surface and this time Annie's voice was slurred, “Don't leave me here alone. Stay with me.”

“I'll go to the other side and grab your hands around the hull. It will make it easier for us to hold on.”

He swam under the canoe and when he got to the other side, he pulled himself up by the fingernails to reach Annie's hands on the first go. He took one hand and then the other and pulled her up so that they could see each other.

The waves and the wind made it difficult to hear. “We're going to be okay. Someone will be along shortly to take us back. You make sure you hang onto me until they get here.”

“I'm scared, Davy.”

“There's no need to be. I've got you!

David didn't know how long they floated there, but every time he looked at her the mottled blue around her mouth had spread wider. Whenever it seemed that her head lolled to one side, he'd shout at her to wake up.

“Don't do this to me, Annie! Don't leave me! Open your eyes!” He'd try and shake her hands but he was too frozen to move. “We're going to be all right! I'm here with you.”

A wave hit him in the face and he coughed up water. “Don't die! Don't die, Annie! Can you hear me?”

In the distance was the buzz of a motorboat. He looked up and saw it rushing towards them.

“Annie! They're here! They're here! You're safe now!”

Annie's head drooped so far back he knew she was gone.

He screamed into the wind.

* * *

The shock was so severe that it took four days to organize Annie's funeral. No one was capable of doing anything. The entire family didn't eat, they didn't sleep, and they couldn't talk without bawling their eyes out. It seemed the whole of Glace Bay was at Henry's and Abigail's doors with trays of food that went unwrapped, flowers that went unseen, and cards that went unread.

Kay brought the girls home by airplane. The three of them collapsed into David's arms and they wept as a family.

“It was my fault,” David cried. “I knew better. I should've protected her.”

Kay tried to look into his face, as he rocked on the chair with his head in his hands. “It wasn't your fault. You held on to her. You kept her from drowning. She's not on the bottom of the ocean somewhere.”

David stood up and began to pace. “I should never have let her get in that damned canoe in the first place. I could've picked her up and dragged her out. Why didn't I?”

Round and round and round he went with guilt and anger and sorrow. He held on to his girls and wept on their young shoulders.

Annie's mother stayed in her room with her Bible. She didn't want to see or be with anyone.

Henry was so broken he couldn't stand up straight. He was only fifty-six and was hunched over like a very old man. The twins, with the help of their wives, were the ones who helped their younger brothers and made sure that Lee was taken care of. Henry couldn't bear it when she asked, “Where's Mommy?” over and over again.

Henry had to deal with the funeral home director who asked if he wanted a top-of-the-line casket for his dear departed wife.

“No. A pine box will do.”

When the director glanced up at him, Henry shrugged. “That's what she said. And she wants it nailed shut.”

“Well, then…”

“…what she really said was that she didn't want to lie in some stupid casket that reminded her of her grandmother's parlour. She hated to dust that parlour.”

“Right. Now for the wake…”

“No wake.”

“No wake?”

“That's what she said.”

“Are you having a church service?”

“Yes. She said her mother would kill her if she didn't.”

* * *

When Annie's son John called Lila and told her that Annie had died of hypothermia she went out to their chairs and sat all afternoon staring at nothing. It was only at sunset, when she noticed Ewan crying as he tried to feed his critters, that she sprang out of the chair and ran to him, holding him tight. “It's okay, Ewan, I'm here.”

The funeral was at the Baptist church in Glace Bay and she would be buried beside her dad at the Forest Haven cemetery on Grand Lake Road.

The church was packed and stifling hot and the minute Annie's draped pine box was brought into the church, everyone cried. There was a small bouquet of mayflowers placed on top. Her sons had taken Leelee out to Round Island that morning and picked them. Leelee said they smelled best of all.

The service seemed endless, the minister droning on, liking the sound of his own voice. He read scripture after scripture that meant nothing to any of them on this day. That used to bug the hell out of Annie. As Lila sat beside Ewan she remembered the first day she met Annie, and how glad she was that Annie held her hand in church. She also remembered her fidgeting and rolling her eyes for the minister to get on with it. Lila felt Annie's warm hand in hers and a voice in her head said, “Shut him up, for God's sake.”

She stood up. Ewan took her hand. “Do you want to go outside?”

“No.”

She pushed passed everyone in her row and walked up to the front of the church. Leelee was in Henry's lap and he had his arm around his tiny mother. All the boys looked at her with such misery. Then she saw David, who looked twenty years older, holding up his mother, with Kay and girls beside them. All of Annie's loved ones. They needed to get out of here.

She walked right up to the pulpit and the minister had no choice but to move aside, whispering that perhaps she could save this for later. Lila ignored him.

“Annie would always get mad at me because I was such a scared little thing growing up. She'd kick me in the behind every so often and say, ‘You've got to live, Lila.'

“Annie didn't travel the world or climb mountains or do great deeds, but she
lived
every day of her life. She got more pleasure out of a plate of cornbread than anyone I know. If she beat you at Rummoli, she'd cackle while she dragged all the pennies out of the kitty. She thought heaven was going to a movie with Henry.

“And she loved as hard as she lived.
She loved us.
And I know one thing for sure. If we don't pick ourselves up and dust ourselves off and live our lives, she'll be very cross. Yes, we'll miss her desperately and yes, we'll be sad for a long time, but I want her legacy to be that we walk out of this church today and do her proud.”

Lila looked down. Annie's family was smiling. Time to get out of here. She left the altar and walked straight down the church aisle and out the door.

* * *

When Annie's first granddaughter was born she was christened Annie Lila Pratt.

The entire first half of 1976 was taken up with Frankie's June 26 wedding. Nothing happened in the universe that wasn't related to bridal dresses, hairstyles, flower arrangements, and guest lists. That's the way it seemed to Colleen, anyway.

But to tell the truth, she was kind of glad to be distracted and living in Halifax. She knew how much suffering was still going on in Cape Breton, where a year later, everyone was still trying to deal with their huge loss. It was harder for the relatives who had to live where Aunt Annie lived. The presence of her absence was everywhere.

Lila and Ewan were stepping in to take care of Lee whenever Henry was having a bad week, which was apparently often. Abigail was being remarkably stoic, relying on her faith in God to see her through. Aunt Muriel spent a lot of time with her, as she knew firsthand what it was like to lose a beloved daughter in a horrible accident. Her dad told her that for the first time Grammie understood what her mother-in-law went through when she lost two sons in the same year during the Great War.

Colleen had managed to lose thirty pounds by the time the wedding rolled around. Her mother was thrilled.

“Oh, Colleen, you look wonderful!”

Colleen wasn't used to this sort of attention from her mother. It felt nice.

“But if you could only lose twenty more you'd be perfect!”

“Why don't you lop off my head, then? How's that for being perfect?” Colleen headed up the stairs but then turned around. “Just once, Mother, I'd love it if you ended your sentences before your inevitable big
but
!”

It was Frankie who talked her into cutting her hair to her shoulders. Colleen had to admit it looked nice. When she walked down the street now she occasionally saw boys look at her, which was refreshing. Then came the day when she ran into an old friend from the bookstore. He seemed shocked when he saw her and asked her out on a date. They went out for a couple of weeks and he was constantly asking her to
do it
with him. How long did one wait? She didn't want to ask Frankie because having to ask made her even more pathetic. So one night she did it and Colleen never saw him again, a sad fact she was taking to her grave.

There was another distraction that Frankie refused to talk about because she was too focused on her future life with Edward. That or if she should cover her face with a veil.

The distraction was their mother's new boyfriend, Derek.

He wore a thick gold chain around his neck. That was all Colleen needed to know. Derek was
so
not her father, and she hated the way her mother giggled around him. She was fifty, for goodness' sake.

Derek tried to be her friend, like she was a ten-year-old or something, always asking if she'd like to go to dinner with them or the movies. She'd grimace and her mother would distract him long enough to give her the evil eye and tap her on the head with her clutch.

He was harmless, she supposed, but like every child whose parents split up, she'd always had a tiny glimmer of hope that her mom and dad would get back together. At least they were friendly now. Aunt Annie's death had made everything else seem not so terrible. Colleen even changed her mind about Lila. Just the way she helped her that winter night by saying what she wasn't able to say and then the way she spoke in the church at the funeral. Colleen had had chills when that happened. It was as if Aunt Annie's words were coming out of Lila's mouth. And it had had a profound effect on her father. He didn't seem quite so helpless after that.

* * *

The whole family drove down for the wedding, and once again a suite of rooms were at their disposal. Kay told David to stop making a fuss about the expense. She was paying for it…theoretically. It was déjà vu when he insisted he pay for the rehearsal dinner.

He sat back at the table and looked at all the faces that had also been there on the night of his rehearsal dinner. Louis Sr. was hunched over, skin sagging, his nose more bulbous than ever, but you could still hear his voice booming throughout the restaurant. When David looked at Virginia it wasn't with hate but with pity. She was a shell of her former self, a woman in her seventies who still applied makeup like a teenager.

Henry and his mother tried to look happy, but were watered-down versions of themselves, missing the loves of their life on this night. David and Annie's grandmother Cynthia was also missing, having died in her sleep shortly after Frankie was born.

David wasn't sure how he was going to get through the wedding, thinking of Annie, big as a cow, coming up the aisle and sticking out her tongue at him before she moved off to the side. He prayed to Annie and asked that she help him the next day, to be by his side.

And there was Kay, lovely as always, excited about tomorrow, chatting and laughing with her new beau. David didn't think much of him, but he doted on Kay and David knew she needed that. His guilt about Kay was like a sore tooth, always there in the background. Kay must have sensed him watching her, because she looked up and held his gaze. Her face softened and she gave him a genuine smile, then she pointed at the girls and put her hand over her heart, as if to say “We did a good job.”

Frankie was exquisite, the picture of her mother, sitting with her soon-to-be husband. David liked Edward. He was intelligent and sincere. He'd take care of her.

The biggest surprise was Colleen with her new figure. She still had the sweetest face. Annie had always said that Colleen was the prettier of the two girls. He agreed. She had more bubbling under the surface, but her anxiety and moodiness often got the better of her. She was her own worst enemy.

In the morning, he put on his tuxedo and heard Annie in his head saying he looked like a penguin, which made him smile. Then he took his small gift and went down the hall to knock on Frankie's door and asked if he could come in. A bunch of women shouted, “Not yet!”

So he waited patiently, rubbing at his tight collar a few times. Then he looked at his watch and thought they'd better get a move on. He was about to knock again when the door opened. Kay and Colleen and the bridesmaids were in their yellow and peach finery.

“You ladies look lovely.”

They smiled and looked back into the room. There was Frankie, standing in her wedding gown, looking excited and happy. Her dress was soft and flowing, with long, draping sleeves; her hair was up and her veil reached the floor.

Like all dads he had a quick movie in his head of how excited they'd been when she was born and all the birthdays and milestones after that. He felt his eyes well up with tears and knew if he started crying, he'd never stop, so he cleared his throat. “You're the most beautiful bride I've ever seen, Frankie…apart from your mother.”

He looked at Kay and she touched a tissue to the corner of her eyes.

“Thanks, Dad.”

He went forward and gave her a kiss, careful not to muss her hair. “I have something for you.”

“Oh, Dad, you didn't—”

“—it's not expensive and you don't have to wear it today, but it means a great deal to me.”

He passed over the small box and she opened it. Inside was a Clan Macdonald of Clanranald crest kilt pin.

Frankie picked it up. “Thank you.”

“You can wear it as a brooch. The motto describes what I feel about you.
My hope is constant in thee.
As my father said to me on my wedding day, I want you to remember where you come from and who you belong to—a long line of Macdonalds who were good, God-fearing, hard-working people, who fought for their country and looked after their families. Be as proud of them as we are of you.”

Frankie gave him a real hug, which meant a lot. And then she surprised him when she opened the clasp and pinned it to her wedding dress.

Kay pointed at it. “Perhaps you should put in on your waistband, so it doesn't spoil—”

Frankie gave her mother a look. “I want it where I can see it.”

He looked over at Colleen, who was a mess. Her mascara was running as she blew her nose. “Gee whiz, Dad, you could've warned me you were going to say all that.”

* * *

Champagne flowed, the meal was spectacular, and the band was spot on. Everyone was on the dance floor and Colleen was feeling no pain. As a matter of fact, she was having a great time. All the groomsmen danced with her at one point or another. Her new brother-in-law dragged her out of her seat and they cut a rug to the Bee Gees song “You Should Be Dancing,” and Elton John's hit, “Don't Go Breaking My Heart
.
”

Colleen came back from one of her many trips to the ladies room and found a guy sitting in her chair. He looked up at her. “Oh, is this your chair?”

“Yes. I carry it everywhere.”

He laughed and laughed and he wasn't half-bad looking, either, although at this point even the hotel doorman looked good to her. He stood up and put out his hand.

“I'm Arthur Brown. My friends call me Artie, and since you are definitely going to be a friend of mine, I hope that's what you'll call me.”

“Arty the Smarty! I always wanted to meet you!”

“Who's Arty the Smarty?”

“Don't tell me you didn't read the book? It's a classic by Faith McNulty. About a little fish who wants to make a big splash. I need to get another glass of champagne, I'm parched.”

“No need. I brought my own bottle.” He produced an open bottle of bubbly and two glasses.

“What did you do? Knock the barman out?”

“Let's just say I have my methods.”

They drank the bottle and hit the dance floor. He was taller than she was and when they danced to the slow songs, he held her tightly. Almost too tightly, but it was nice to feel his warmth across her breasts. He kissed her neck and nibbled at her ears before he covered her mouth as they swayed to the music.

“You're staying here tonight, right?” he whispered.

“How did you know?”

“You're the bride's sister, aren't you? Louis Hanover's granddaughter?”

“You should be a spy.”

“I do my homework when I see a beautiful woman, and you are one beautiful woman. Let's go upstairs and make our own music.”

Colleen felt like she was in the movies, wearing a long gown, dancing with a nice-looking guy, about to go up to a hotel room. She was just as sophisticated as her sister. So there.

“Come on, let's get dirty.” He kissed her again.

“I don't like dirt.” This was her attempt at being coy.

“Then we can have a shower together and I'll make sure you're very, very clean.”

She didn't remember how they got up to her room and she didn't remember much about what they did in the room either, other than he liked to say “Oh yeah” a lot.

When she opened her eyes the next morning, they felt like two pissholes in the snow. It was hard to believe her maternal grandparents drank booze night after night. What were they made of? Cast iron?

She tried to move her head. That didn't go very well, so she stayed still and watched the ceiling fan go round and round, but that was also a stupid move. She whispered “Help!” but no one came.

She glanced to the right without moving her head to see what time it was and there was a note leaning against the clock. She walked her fingers over the sheet slowly to see if that would have any repercussions. As long as she did it slowly she was all right. After repeating the move, she brought the note close to her face.

“Good morning, beautiful. I LOVED last night and I want to do it again tonight. I'll pick you up and we can go to dinner first. Don't worry, I know where you live. Artie.”

Uh…that was nice, but she didn't think she'd be able to walk until next week. The trouble was she had no way of getting a hold of him.

Her mother knocked on the door and came in. Colleen crumpled the note in her hand.

“What in the name of God happened in here?” She inspected the room as if she were the maid, heading for the bathroom next. “What's your dress doing in the bathtub?! It's soaked!”

“Mother, don't shout.”

Mom came over to the bed and made the mistake of sitting on it. “You had too much to drink.”

“Since you're the expert in this area, what should I do?”

“Stop insulting your mother, for one thing. Who was the man you were dancing with last night? He was a little too smooth for my taste. And he was all over you.”

“That's what people do at weddings. They get drunk and fondle each other.”

Mom looked around the room again. “Oh God. He didn't come up here with you, did he?”

“That is none of your business. And for your information I'm a consenting adult, not a delicate flower. My maidenhood was snatched ages ago.”

Her mother got off the bed. “Honestly, Colleen. You'd try the patience of a saint. Drink a bottle of cola and take a few painkillers. We're leaving after the brunch.”

Out she went.

Artie
was
a smarty. He called Colleen non-stop, paid her compliments, and bought her dinner and flowers for weeks. Whenever she wasn't at work, she was with him. She told her mom she was out with friends, which technically wasn't a lie.

They went to the drive-in a lot but never watched the movie. He said he wore condoms. She felt positively wanton. And then it occurred to her one day that she'd never been to his place.

“It's a mess,” he said. “I'm in the middle of renovations.”

“What are you renovating for?”

He took her in his arms and rubbed himself ever so softly against her thighs. “I'm looking to settle down. I just have to find the right woman. And I think you're it.”

Before she could even process this, he had his hand down her blouse.

One night she asked him what he did for a living. They were at a nice restaurant, but she ended up paying because he forgot his wallet.