Kindling (19 page)

For my part, I have to say I never uttered a single complaint or even spoke out of turn. I knew everyone expected me to fail - I was a whiner and a complainer and I was so terribly vain, I know. But I wanted to prove them wrong. I knew they saw me as just this spoiled, white girl from The States, after all, and even I somewhat expected me to fail. But sometime during that first day, I decided to push myself. Everyone wanted me to fail, but I refused and made myself work until my body screamed in pain, until my feet ached so bad I could barely walk, and until my appendages felt as though they could detach.

The training was intense and I was exhaused. When I had trained with my papá, usually we trained for about three hours a day and the most time I had ever trained in one day was, maybe, six hours. But, The Rabbi had me running at five am and I wasn’t even back at the Walters’ house until eleven on most evenings. Sometimes, I was in so much pain afterwards, Poppy or Mrs. Walters had to finely grind my food in a food processor so I didn’t have to chew.

And, to irritate me even more, The Rabbi got to rest on Shabbat, but I didn’t. He sat and said prayers and drank wine and ate Challah while he watched me kill myself. I knew it was totally unfair of him to make me work on his day of rest, but I kept it inside. I refused to complain. I knew he was pushing me to my brink for a reason, but I wasn’t privy to that reason and, eventually, my resentment grew and I started hating The Rabbi and hating Heike and hating Braith and hating everything and anyone that had any relation to Vampyre Hunting. I was angry and over-exhausted and even Braith started to tip-toe around me for fear of setting me off. I was getting sick and my fatigue was driving me insane. Even the harassment from my class mates, which persisted at a surprisingly intense rate, hardly bothered me, as I was too exhausted to really process much of what they said. It was all-consuming and, I felt, any day could be my breaking point.

Every day, new wounds split open or old wounds re-opened. Hardened calluses tore apart. I was a mess, black-and blue, sticky from drying blood, aching, and barely functional. I was also pretty sure a few of my toes were broken and the blisters were infected. The only nice thing was being with Poppy in the evenings. She was wonderful and caring and reminded me of Sadie. Poppy and I usually talked until I collapsed into bed, although I was barely coherent through most conversations that first month.

I lasted exactly five weeks. Five weeks of pain and sparring and bleeding and exhaustion. Five weeks of bloody wounds and sore bones and limping around. I woke up that morning feeling like I had the worst flu I ever had in my life. It tore through my body and I could hardly lift my legs in the morning. My skin was throbbing and my muscles felt like they had all charley-horsed at once. I couldn’t get my body to relax enough to even roll out of bed. I was freezing cold and boiling hot at the same time, so I was pretty sure I had a high fever. Unfortunately, I woke Poppy by moaning loudly when I tried to get out of bed.

“God, Kit, you look something awful!” Poppy got up and sat next to me on the bed. I groaned as the mattress moved beneath her weight. “You can’t go today. How are you going to run?” She whispered. “How are you going to do anything? You can’t go,” she repeated.

“I have to, Poppy. I don’t have a choice,” I said.

“There’s always a choice,” she said, although she wasn’t very convincing because she pulled back my blankets and motioned for me to hold her hands. I clung to her as she pulled me from bed and tried to muffle a cry when she stood me up straight. I could barely raise my arms over my head, but she managed to dress me. I bit down on a rolled up sock so my moans would be stifled - I didn’t want to wake anyone else. Poppy even helped me walk down the stairs.

Braith was waiting for me on the stoop. “You’re late,” he said. I’m sure there was more to the nagging but he stopped when he saw me clinging to Poppy. “What happened to you?”

“I’m fine,” I said. But, when I took a step without Poppy, I fell into Braith.

“You’re not fine,” Braith said. “What’s wrong with her?” he asked Poppy.

“She’s sick. She’s got a fever,” Poppy said.

Braith placed his hand on my forehead. “I don’t. I’m fine,” I said.

“She’s burning up,” Braith said, ignoring me. “Can you make it to The Rabbi?” I nodded. “Thanks, Poppy.”

Poppy didn’t look very pleased with me leaving, but I had obligations that I didn’t think I could miss.

I half walked and Braith half carried me through the town. I felt delirious. “You’re eyes are like honey, Braith,” I said.

“They are?” He asked. I could tell he grinned a little, but I’m not sure if I responded.

I may have passed out while walking as the next thing I remember is being on the track. The Rabbi was ahead. When we got close enough he looked me over with raised eyebrows. “What’s wrong with her?” he asked.

“She’s burning up,” Braith said. “I don’t think she should run.”

“No, no, I’m okay. I’m feeling better,” I said.

“I don’t think that’s a good idea, Kitty,” Braith said. “You need to rest. Ask The Rabbi for a break. I’m sure he will give it to you if you ask.”

“No,” I said. I was already sweating and panting and I knew that wasn’t a good sign, but I turned to The Rabbi anyway and waited his order.

“Go ahead, run,” The Rabbi said. “15 laps.” Braith exhaled and seemed like he was going to argue, but The Rabbi put up his hand to hush him.

I am proud to say that I did make it one entire lap around the track. I was slow, not running at all really, more like limp-jog-walking, but I made it around. By the time The Rabbi and Braith were in view again, the sun was rising. I was proud of myself. They didn’t think I could make it, but I had already ran a mile!

My pride was short lived, however. About 200 feet from the mile mark, I collapsed onto my hands and knees and vomited all over the track. That was not one of my finer moments in life.

The Rabbi and Braith ran to me. “Are you okay?” The Rabbi asked.

“No,” I vomited some more. “Master.”

“You have to push yourself to fight even when you are at your weakest, Katherine,” The Rabbi said. I nodded. “Run,” he said.

I shook my head. I felt blood on the legs of my pants where my knees had slammed into the pavement. I was done. I couldn’t move another inch. “I can’t,” I said. I had to admit that I could not live up to their expectations. I had spent every last shred of energy I had and I had nothing more to prove because I failed.

The Rabbi knelt beside me. “Can’t or won’t?”

“Can’t,” I breathed.

“What would happen to you right now if a vampyre attacked you?” The Rabbi asked.

I shook my head. “I would die.” I was incredibly out-of-breath and spoke between pants. This worried me. I hoped I wasn’t having a heart attack.

“You would give up like that?” I nodded. “You wouldn’t fight at all?”

I shook my head again and coughed. I collapsed onto my elbows and rolled onto my back. My elbow scabs broke open and I could feel steams of blood running around my arm. I was so week I couldn’t even lift my arm to shield my eyes from the rising sun. The sour taste of vomit was fresh in my mouth. I knew I had vomit on my face and hair, but I couldn’t even muster the energy to wipe. The pain was like death. I had given up.

The Rabbi stared at me for a long time, maybe trying to assess my truthfulness. He nodded and grinned. “Excellent.” He looked at Braith, eyes shining. “She’s absolutely amazing.” The Rabbi got out his cell phone and walked away.

Braith crouched down next to me. “No one, and I’m talking no one in that crotchety old man’s centuries long existence, has ever lasted five weeks in his training.” I groaned. I didn’t care what I accomplished, I just cared that I was dying.

The Rabbi came back and clapped his hands together. “Gather her up, we’ll be on our way.”

Braith put his hands beneath me and lifted me up. I screamed when he jolted me. It felt like my back was broken.

“Sorry, sorry,” he kept saying, but no matter how careful he was it still hurt and I kept moaning in pain. We followed The Rabbi across the field and towards a tree-lined area. I had never been to the other side before, but it was unremarkable, just a parking lot past the trees. A van pulled next to us and Jean-Luc emerged, smiling.

“Five weeks, Mon Chaton. You lasted five fucking weeks with The Rabbi!” Then he saw me and grimaced. “Are you sure she’s still alive?”

“Probably,” The Rabbi said. “And I would appreciate you not using your vulgarities in front of the lady or myself. Its crude and unnecessary and it may cause my tongue to slip and let Katja know you only lasted until the afternoon of the second day of my training before you began to whimper like a little pup.”

Jean-Luc smiled and helped put me in the car. I moaned again when my legs hit against the car door.

We drove for awhile, outside of the school compound and around to the other side of the island. During the drive, The Rabbi prattled on about how I was the only one who has ever lasted longer than two weeks in his training, especially by the boys in the current class of trainees. He thought the boys were spoiled, arrogant, lazy, and a number of other things he couldn’t repeat. He sounded proud of me. It was nice to hear he was proud of me.

As The Rabbi chattered on, I stared out the window. I was too exhausted and in too much pain to respond. I had never seen this part of the island and, by the looks of things, there was nothing out here except tropical plants and palm trees. I may have dozed a bit or in the crook of Jean-Luc’s arm, but suddenly The Rabbi turned onto a nearly-hidden dirt pathway that led us to a gigantic and very modern house, which was camouflaged behind palm fronds and greenery.

Jean-Luc carried me out of the car and we followed The Rabbi into his home. “Sarah!” The Rabbi called. “Sarah! We have visitors!” The Rabbi led us into the main living area and then into the kitchen where a women stood, stirring pots and reading recipes.

“Sarah!” The Rabbi said again. The women finally looked up and smiled. “Our guests are here.”

“Oh!” she squealed. She took off her headphones, which were concealed by her hair, and came over to use. “I knew you were coming today. I just knew it. I felt you were sick, honey, so I made vegetable soup and I’ve got Cornish Game hens in the oven and mashed sweet potatoes. Is that alright?” I think I nodded but I may have just rolled my head a little bit. “Has Ami done this to you? Goodness, Ami, the poor girl is exhausted! And she’s got vomit all over her.” Sarah came over and felt my face. “She’s burning up, Ami!”

“That’s why I brought her to you, my dear,” The Rabbi said. He gave the woman a kiss on her cheek.

Now, I didn’t really know how bad I looked, but I know it must have been pretty awful, especially with scabs all over my limbs and dried blood around my forearms and bruises everywhere and vomit still stuck to my face. Sarah looked me over and stroked my face. “I’ll take her upstairs and get her cleaned up. Is that okay, Kit?” I think I nodded. “Boys, watch the stove for me.”

Jean-Luc tried to put me down, but I collapsed once more, so he carried me up the stairs and into the bathroom. He sat me on a set of small stairs that led to the bathtub – it was a Japanese style soaking tub, Sarah explained, and good for healing – and then she drew me a bath. She put several different types of sweet and floral smelling things in it. I was too exhausted to ask or care what they were, but she seemed to know what she was doing. After she had finished with the dried herbs or whatever they were she placed her hands in the water and began to chant quietly. When she was done she helped me get undressed. She carefully led me up the stairs to the tub and then down the stairs in the water. The water was hot and seemed to soak into my muscles. It felt both really good and really horrible at the same time. I cried out and, at first, I wanted to get out, but Sarah hushed me and laid me back so my head rested on a crescent-shaped ledge.

“Stay in until I tell you, okay?” Sarah ordered. The water was already feeling better, so I nodded. “I’ll be back in a few minutes. I’ll throw your clothes in the laundry.”

I nodded again and sunk into the tub. The ledge kept my neck vertical, so I didn’t go under. I must have dozed, though, because Sarah was soon back and draining water. “Don’t want you to drown,” she smiled. I noticed I had dipped farther into the water, but I didn’t care. The bath, by then, felt amazing.

I was so physically and mentally exhausted I wasn’t even embarrassed that a women I had never met before was seeing me naked. I was in a half sleep daze, awake but not really present. I felt her wet my hair and brush out all the tangles. She moved me forward and supported me like I was an infant, then washed my back with some sort of sea salt scrub. The grittiness felt like it was peeling off my pain. When she was done, she moved me back, patted my head, and left.

I don’t know how long I soaked, but when I woke Sarah wasn’t there, though she had left out some salts and oils, I noticed. When I stretched out my arm, my fingers were shriveled like prunes. I yawned and stretched with my whole body. And then I realized, holy crap, I was stretching out my arms and legs and I wasn’t in any pain! I didn’t feel feverish or crampy or nauseous and there wasn’t even a trace of a charley-horse.

“You’re awake,” Sarah said from the doorway. “That’s wonderful.”

I smiled. “I feel wonderful,” I said. I moved my arms and neck around and felt no pain. “What did you do?”

She grinned and handed me a towel. She turned around as I got out of the bath. “I’m a healer. I’ve been telling Ami to give you some of my medicine since you got here, but he wouldn’t. Wasn’t in the plan, he said.”

“You’re a healer?” I asked.

Sarah nodded. “You know, a Lilith.” When I looked confused, she smiled. “I forgot. You
don’t
know. A Lilith is like a witch, maybe a bit more like a wiccan? I’m not really sure what regular people would call us, but we work with nature and some of us work with people and some of us work with animals. We bring healing into things, if that makes sense.”