King of New York (48 page)

“I don’t want
you to accept my pain. I don’t want to hurt you anymore. If I allow you to stay,
I will end up hurting you more than I already have, not because I want to but
because this is who I am. I can’t be the man you want; it’s not in my nature.”
His voice is cold and lacking compassion.

“Please don’t do
this,” she begs.

“I’ll only hurt
you in the end, Sierra, You are precious to me. I may not love you the way you
deserve, but I love you enough to know that I am the wrong type of man for you.
Please understand that I am doing this in order to protect you, not just from
myself, but from others who will harm you because of me.”

“Fuck you and
your stupid notions of protecting me,” she shouts. “The only thing I need
protection from is your ridiculous mind games. You want a woman who will love
you to the depths of eternity, but you will never follow her there.”

Her words pierce
his heart like a two-edged sword.

“I should have
known that you are not capable of love. All the signs were there but I chose
not to see them. How could I have expected the most powerful man in New York
City, who slept around with women simply for pleasure and escapism, to love
me?” Her voice bleeds with pain.

He wishes he could
say something, anything. But he can’t. Deep down, he knows that she is correct.
A man like Chad Perry is incapable of love, no matter how much he tries to
believe and accept otherwise.

“You only loved
the idea of me being in love with you, having a woman that needed you
desperately and took the worst of your fucked-up sexual desires.” Her voice is
sad and angry. “You made me give you my all – mind, body and soul – knowing
damn well it would all lead to this,” she screams angrily.

“But I did warn
you, Sierra,” he says icily, feeling the need to defend himself.

“Don’t fucking
tell me that, you son of a bitch,” she says, pushing him angrily. “You keep
breaking my heart into a million pieces. Stop it, just stop!”

She sobs
uncontrollably like a little girl. His heart breaks into a billion pieces. He
tries to hold her but she pushes him away.

“Don’t touch me.
If you can’t love me, please don’t!” He looks at her silently, with an arctic
stare. “You know the funny thing? I would give it all up, just for you. Why
can’t you love me like I love you?”

Words fail him
as her warm brown eyes look at him in disappointment. All he can do is gaze
into oblivion as she continues.

“You know what hurts
the most?”

He looks at her,
dreading her answer.

“What hurts most
is the fact that Sebastian was right all along about you.”

His eyes blaze
with fury at the fact that Sebastian’s words have proved true to Sierra.

“I gave myself
to you in ways that I never would’ve given myself to anyone else. Ways that
hurt me, just to pleasure you, just for you to sit here and tell me you can’t
love me. How dare you!” she screams with tears in her eyes. “You asked me to
promise you that I would never leave, knowing damn well you never intended to
stay. You’re a user, an abuser and an all-round son of a bitch! You are the king
of heartbreak.”

“Why can’t you
understand, Sierra,” he says angrily, feeling frustrated at the situation. “I
love you, but I can’t be with you. The ones that hate me will come for you, and
in the end I will end up hurting you. I can’t allow myself to do that to you.”

She gently takes
his hand and kisses it. He sees hope in her eyes.

“Then let us be
together, protect me from your enemy with me by your side. I will help you to
protect me from yourself. Let me help you.”

“I can’t. No one
can change who I have become. Not even myself.”

“Maybe
I can. Just take a chance.”

“No,
that is something I can’t do.” The coldness in his voice is compelling. He
looks at her and it seems like she doesn’t care anymore as her tears cease to
fall and she starts to speak in a cold and emotionless tone.

“That’s
fine. You’ve made your choice. Thank you,” she says, “for showing me what it
meant and felt like to give myself completely to a man, and then have
everything I gave thrown back in my face. Thank you very much for ripping out
my heart. I hope you have a good life.”

He
wants to hold her, kiss her and tell her that everything will be alright, but
he can’t.

“If you allow me
to leave, you will never see me again. Never, Chad!”

Words fail him
as his heart rate quickens at her ultimatum. His eyes are frosty as he looks
away from her haunting gaze.

“So you’re going
to allow me to walk away without a fight? I can help you change. Please let me
in,” she pleads.

It hurts him
because he sees that she doesn’t want to give up on him, regardless of the hurt
he has caused her. She waits, but he doesn’t say a word. Seconds pass, then
minutes, and he still remains silent.

Painstakingly
slowly, she reaches in her bag. She gives him the keys for the penthouse and the
car he bought her. He refuses it, so she drops the keys on the floor. He
maintains his calm and emotionless demeanour – that is until she reaches for
his final gift. His eyes spark with rage and pain as she removes the diamond
ring from her finger.

“Sierra, please
don’t,” he says quietly.

“Why? Because
you say so? Well guess what? Fuck you!” she shouts. “As for the money, I’m
keeping it. That shit’s mine,” she says indignantly.

He musters a sad
smile, happy at the fact she has not thrown everything back in his face like he
has done to her.

“I am going back
to England. There is nothing left here for me. Goodbye!”

He refuses to
look at her or say a word of farewell as she walks out of his life. Instead, he
looks up at the heavens and his eyes spark like the lightning in the sky

****

Someone is watching them, someone
that brings a profound iciness and darkness with him. He looks at Chad and
laughs icily at him. His gaze turns to the woman walking away from Chad and his
stare ignites with rage as he looks at her.

“Sierra Malcolm,
Sierra Malcolm,” he says, repeatedly through gritted teeth, as his eyes burn
with vengeance.

****

The King of New York stands in
disarray with a diamond ring in his hand, as he watches his princess disappear
into the bitter wilderness of the jungle. The rain falls rapidly on his skin.
His kingdom stands concrete before him, but his heart crumbles as the lion
roars with great anguish as he allows the lioness to desert him.