Kingpin (An Italian Mafia Romance) (22 page)

“I tried to put on this tough guy act when I first saw you, and I tried to avoid how seeing you made me feel. I didn’t want you to think I was soft, but none of that matters anymore. The truth is, I haven’t been able to be serious with anyone because nobody could ever compare to you. The things I’ve felt for you since the day we met in 2001 could never be replaced by something new. Why do you think I’ve been carrying your letter around for the past ten years? It’s always been you, Alannah. Since I was eleven years old, it’s always been about you, even when we were in junior high and I was too chicken shit to tell you. My heart left when you did, and now that you’re back, everything I felt has come rushing back with you. It’s new, and it’s fucking terrifying, especially with the shit that went down at Isle of Capri, but this feeling will never be matched.

“I just need you to know that I would die protecting you. I would literally lay down my life to make sure you’re safe, and you’re the only fucking person in the world I’d do that for. I promise I’ll take care of you, nobody will ever lay a finger on you, and nobody will ever feel about you the way I feel about you.

“You are it for me, for the rest of my fucking life, I know it. You’re it. So, I’m begging you to give me a chance to clean up this thing that went crazy the other night. I’m asking you to forget the other stuff, and focus on us. Focus on what we felt for each other ten years ago, and how those feelings were strong enough to bring you back here, all the way from fucking Alaska. You’re it for me, Alannah, and I’m hoping you’ll give me a chance to prove that I can be it for you, because now that you’re back, I don’t think I can handle being without you again.”

I should be running for my life. I should kick him out and hide under the covers until he goes away for good. I shouldn’t care what he says or how sweet it sounds, or how good he looks. I should get far, far away from Dominic and everything dangerous that comes with him. I just don’t want to.

I tell myself I don’t care, but the tears in my eyes tell me otherwise.

I tell myself I don’t want him, but my body tells me different.

I tell myself he’s dangerous, but my heart doesn’t care.

I tell myself I can go back to Alaska and get over him, but I know that’s a lie.

I breathe hard, like I just finished running a mile, and I can feel the tears stinging my eyes as I stare at his terrifying beauty. I think to say something, but when I start, the words catch in my throat and I feel overcome with emotion. All I can do is shake my head and try to fight off the combination of joy and fear I feel. Looking at him makes it worse, and I have to pry my eyes off of him so I can look at the floor until I recover from what feels like a blow to the stomach.

“Why?” I stammer, still staring at the floor. “Why can’t I say no, when I know I should? Why can’t I turn off these feelings?”

“Because you’ve loved me since you were eleven years old, and it doesn’t matter what we do now. Nothing will ever turn this off.”

As I look down, I’m taken aback by the sudden sound of his footsteps on the hardwood floor. Dominic races over to me and firmly puts his hands on my cheeks. He lifts my head up and forces me to lock eyes with him, then he presses his lips against mine like it’s the first and last time he’ll ever be able to do it.

My body melts into a pool of hot wax at his feet as I let go and give in. His tongue caresses mine and moves like it’s been waiting to be reunited with me. Dominic’s breathing picks up and it’s now just as heavy as mine as we kiss with more passion than there has ever been in my life. I couldn’t pull away from him if I tried, and I wouldn’t dare try.

His hands start to explore my body as they slide down my neck and make their way to my hips. He pulls my pelvis to his and I don’t even know how to react. Instincts take over and my hands mirror his. I pull him into me, and it’s in that moment that I know I’m lost forever. I want him like I know I’ll die without him, and once that thought enters my mind, it burrows deep and there’s no getting it out. There’s no U-turn allowed, and I’m on a one way street to somewhere frightening and exhilarating.

I can’t go back.

I don’t want to go back.

My fingers claw at the buttons on his shirt, and his tear at my belt. I drop his shirt at the same time he lets my jeans fall to the floor. The cold air hits my legs, but his hands immediately warm them up again as he rubs my inner thighs like he’s reading my mind.

His body is picture perfect: smooth, tight, ripped, vascular muscles, pulsating in his chest and arms as he rubs my body. The look and feel of it all takes my breath away, but it’s nothing compared to what I feel when Dominic drops to his knees, pushes my panties to the side and rubs his tongue over my clit.

I nearly scream, and my knees buckle instantly. Dominic has to hold my body upright as he works his tongue over and over again on my clit. My body jumps and writhes like it’s mimicking the moves his tongue makes, and the sensation is so strong, I start to wonder if I’ve ever had someone do this to me before. I have, of course, but Dominic is so good it erases the others. No one and nothing existed before this.

I grip his hair and let it slide between my fingers, and then I have to squeeze and pull it as the orgasm hits me like I never saw it coming. I moan, I yell, I whimper, I fall apart, I melt in his mouth, and he loves every second of it.

Once I’m able to stand on my own, Dominic slowly rises. He locks eyes with me for a second, then he bends at the knees and wraps his arms around my waist. His biceps tighten around my hips and his forearms grip my ass as he lifts me up off the floor, and starts to carry me down the hall. I look down at him and wrap my arms around his thick neck.

“Where’s your bedroom?” he asks, his voice low and hot.

“Third door on the left,” I answer.

Dominic carries me down the hall and into the bedroom, and I pat myself on the back for telling the movers to make sure the bed was setup before they left. There’s no sheets or covers on it, but we won’t be needing those.

Dominic lays me down on the bare mattress, then he stands up so I can see him. The lights are out, but I can still see his rock hard stomach with the six-pack that looks drawn on. I watch him as he unfastens his pants and drops them to the floor. My heart explodes into a million caffeinated butterflies as he pushes his boxer briefs down and they fall to his ankles.

Every inch of him is beautiful.

Every.

Single.

Inch.

I stare at him. I stare at
it
, and I feel warmth emanating from between my legs like our bodies are communicating. I watch him pull a condom from his pants and slide it on, and every move he makes is laced with sexiness, and I can barely take it. We can’t wait any longer.

He pulls my panties off and doesn’t waste a second before sliding inside me. The width of his shaft stretches me in all the best ways, and I gasp at the feeling, sucking in as much air as I can to steady myself.

He starts slow, grinding from side to side before thrusting slow and deep. My fingers grip his muscled back as he takes his time, making sure I feel every inch of him. He pushes himself in as deep as our bodies will allow us to go, then he pulls himself out to the point of teasing me with the tip, before sliding all the way back in.

Every.

Single.

Inch.

“I need you, Alannah,” he whispers in my ear as his hand runs over the top of my head. When he reaches the back, I feel him grip my hair. “I need you to feel how much I need you.”

Dominic’s hips start to pick up speed as he pulls my hair, using it as leverage. My fingers tighten on his back differently now, and my nails dig into his skin. He thrusts into me hard and strong, like the time for the appetizer of lovemaking is over, and we’ve moved on to the main course of fucking a woman the way she wants to be fucked.

The headboard bangs against the wall with every upward thrust and I have to wrap my legs around him so I can hold on. I’ve never felt anything like this before, and the sound that comes from my mouth surprises me as I scream like I hope my new neighbors will hear. He pulls my hair so my chin is pointing at the ceiling, and the sound of our pelvises crashing together echoes through the apartment.

This is nothing like ninth grade. This isn’t homecoming night in the passenger seat of his dad’s car. No, this is what dreams are made of. This is what every woman hopes she can marry so she can experience it on a regular basis for the rest of her life. This is everything I never knew I wanted. This is the best I have ever fucking had, and my second orgasm triples the intensity and sensation of the first one. It washes over me like a tidal wave and I scream so loud I know my throat will hurt the rest of the week, but it’s a pain I’ll gladly carry around with me as a memory of how incredible Dominic is.

As I come down, Dominic’s body tightens up. His muscles reach a new level of rock hard, and his breathing becomes labored and staccato as he plunges himself deep into me until he comes just as hard as I did. He moans the sexiest moan known to man and tightens his grip on my hair. It hurts, but I couldn’t care less—another pain I’ll gladly accept.

Then, it’s over. Dominic collapses onto the mattress next to me, breathing heavily on his back as he stares up at the ceiling. My body still trembles from my own orgasm, and I’m sure I won’t walk right for a while, so I don’t move. I lay there next to him, speechless, and buried inside a bubble that protects me from the truth.

I know I’ll never be the same again. I had an opportunity to get away from all of it, but it’s gone now. The door is closed, never to be reopened, and I don’t know how I feel about being locked inside.

I should care. I should be terrified and screaming for help. I should be thinking of any way I can to escape and find my way back to safety, but I’m embracing it all instead. I’m bathing in the fear and soaking up the excitement, and I feel higher than ever.

I know I shouldn’t feel this way, but I do, because when it comes to Dominic, everything’s different. With him, all of the rules change.

Dominic

T
he sun rises and taps on the window until I wake up. She’s still next to me when I open my eyes, just as beautiful now as she was last night. The sun touches her cheek and makes her skin glow. She’s like an angel lying there, so I try not to disturb her as I get up. She covered us with a light blanket before we both passed out from exhaustion, so I make an effort to keep her covered up.

“Good morning,” she whispers as I lean over her, but she keeps her eyes closed.

“Good morning,” I answer. Luckily, she can’t see my corny smile.

How can I not smile? Am I not supposed to because I’ve been a street guy my whole life? This is Alannah Sullivan, the girl I fell in love with when I pulled a bully off her back in the fifth grade. I was eleven then, so it’s almost like loving her is just as much a part of me as This Thing of Ours. So, I’m not ashamed when I smile at her even though she can’t see me. Yeah, it’s weird to me, and it’s corny, but it’s Alannah.

“Go back to sleep,” I whisper to her.

“Can’t. Gotta go to work.”

“Oh, okay then. Well, then you should get up and quit being lazy,” I joke. She smiles, still keeping her eyes closed, and I’m shocked by how adorable I think it is.

She finally opens her eyes and locks them on me. We stare at each other for a minute, both of us smiling, thinking things we’re not sure we should say yet. Her eyes and lips draw me in, so leaning in to kiss her feels like an involuntary action. Her lips are ridiculously soft, and memories of last night jump out of the bushes in my mind and jolt me awake. This woman makes me think things I shouldn’t be thinking. Amazingly good things.

We manage to stop kissing, and Alannah gets up to get ready for work. I grab my clothes off the hardwood floor and start to put myself back together again while she puts on scrubs and throws her beautiful brown hair into a bun.

“You should let me take you to work,” I tell her. “Then I can come get you when you get off, and we can go to dinner or something.”

She smiles into the mirror as she applies her makeup.

“I’d like that, but if we’re going to go to dinner, I’ll have to come back here so I can change first. Can’t do dinner in these scrubs,” she says as she points at the rubber ducky print on her pants.

“So, you’re saying you
don’t
wanna go out to eat wearing those sexy pajamas?”

“Well, they
are
sexy,” she replies behind a soft giggle. “But I’d rather not.”

We laugh together, and it feels like it’s junior high all over again. It’s like we haven’t skipped a day, let alone ten years. Something that was dormant inside me feels alive now, and I’ve missed the feeling of . . . us. I enjoying being around her again, so I’m a little bothered when my phone chimes from a text message.

Charlie:
We found him . . .

Alannah comes out of the bathroom just as I stuff the phone back into my pocket without replying.

“Ready?” I ask, as she grabs her purse.

“Ready.”

While we drive to Mercy Hospital, I put my hand on her leg, and she wraps her fingers around it. I’m watching the road, but I feel it every time she gently rubs my skin, and I rub hers back. I want to soak up every second of this car ride, because twenty-four hours ago, I didn’t think we’d ever be together like this again.