Kiss in the Dark (21 page)

“No, it never did.” Jase squeezes my hands. “It never did.”

I start crying, very slowly at first. Then Jase’s eyes snap open.

“Why would he do something like that?” he asks hopelessly. “And why would he stay on here at Wakefield Hall afterward? My gran said that’s what drove him to drink, but for all these years, I’ve been told it was my mum who did that.”

I sniff, and pull my hands away to wipe my face.

“Scarlett, I’m so sorry my family has hurt yours so badly,” he says. “I don’t know if anything I can do will ever make it up to you.”

He hugs me clumsily, our bodies squashing together in the dip of the saggy sofa.

“Which is why I can’t stay here,” he says, kissing my forehead. “Now that I know it’s true.” He shivers. “To be honest, I didn’t even know whether to believe my gran or not. She’s such a miserable old bag. You wouldn’t believe the stuff she’s thrown at me over the years.”

Oh yes, I would, I think, remembering all the racist things she’s said to me.

He takes a deep breath.

“I’ve been trying to make sense of everything myself,” he says. “I think Mum insisted on taking the van when she left as insurance, in a way. Maybe she did know what my dad had done. She’d never have had the nerve to stand up to him and tell him directly. Taking the van’d have been a sort of round-t he-house way of saying it, making sure he wouldn’t come after her.”

I nod slowly, thinking of scared, frail Dawn. Jase’s theory makes complete sense.

“And your grandmother knew too,” I say.

“Clearly.” He smiles—a smile without any humor whatsoever. “She’s a real charmer, my gran, isn’t she? Didn’t mind what her son had done, or not enough to do a sodding thing about it. It was only when you and I started seeing each other, and my dad went into meltdown, that she lifted a finger. And that was just to save herself.”

He looks seriously at me.

“She knocked him down the stairs to keep the house, you know,” he tells me. “It was all about her. She thought if Dad kept going as he was—getting more and more drunk and out of control—your grandma would tell him he had to leave the Hall, and that she’d make my gran go too.”

“My grandmother would never kick an old lady out of her home,” I say with absolute conviction.

“What can I say?” Jase shrugs. “I don’t think she would either. But you know the thing about my gran? When you’re as nasty and evil as she is, you judge everyone against yourself. My gran thinks everyone’s like her, and that means she always expects the worst.”

I nod, recognizing that he’s right.

“I went to see Lady Wakefield this evening,” Jase says, which makes me pull back and look at him in great surprise. “It’s okay, don’t worry. I had to thank her for getting me a solicitor. She was really nice. She wouldn’t hear of me paying her back for any of it, and said she didn’t blame me for anything. And that there’d be a job for me here as long as I wanted it. You were right there. She’d let me stay on if I wanted.” He hesitates for a moment. “She doesn’t know why my gran did it. No one does but you and me. And the solicitor, but she can’t tell because it’s confidential with her client. Everyone just thinks my dad raised his hand to my gran, and she was defending herself. And then she panicked and got me to try to cover it up. No one knows about Dad and your parents.”

“Good,” I say quietly.

Because I’m sure there’s more to find out about my parents’ death. How did my mother’s necklace come into Mr. Barnes’s possession? What’s behind all the hints from Aunt Gwen and Jase’s gran about my mother? Until I solve those mysteries, connect them all together, I’ll be positive that I haven’t found out the whole truth.

And I don’t want the spotlight on me and my parents while Taylor and I are unraveling the clues.

Jase closes his eyes again briefly.

“What’s wrong with us, Scarlett? What did we do to deserve this?”

“I don’t know,” I say sadly. “It’s so unfair.”

Jase stands up and tears spring to my eyes once more. He walks over to his gym bag, which is lying on the floor.

“I have to take off and get my thoughts straight,” he says. “I’m spinning off in circles right now, you know what I mean?”

I do. I know exactly what he means. But holding on to Jase, being close to him, makes me feel like I’m at the center of the circles. Safe. I wish desperately it could be the same for him.

I jump up and run over to him, reaching up to pull his head down and kiss him. But we’re both so wound up, so confused, so unhappy, that a proper kiss is completely beyond us.

“Please don’t go,” I whisper into his ear.

“You know it isn’t about you,” he says gently as he unwraps his arms from me and drops a light kiss on my lips. “You know I love you.”

Tears blur my eyes and slide down my cheeks.

“I love you too.”

But though we’ve said we love each other for the first time, what ought to be the most wonderful moment in our lives actually sounds much more like goodbye.

“I’ll talk to you soon,” Jase says, picking up his bag and heading for the door.

I nod silently. I sense that if I plead any more, it will only make things worse.

Jacket zipped up, gloves on, gym bag stowed under the seat of the bike, Jase kisses me once again. My face is wet, and he wipes the tears away with his glove.

“I don’t know what to say, Scarlett,” he admits hopelessly. “It’s tearing me up to leave you like this.”

“Just promise me you’ll come back,” I sob, running my fingers through his hair.

“I promise,” he says.

And then I have to stand there, watching him put on his helmet, straddle the bike, and start it up. He turns around for one last look at me and to wave goodbye. I wave back and all of a sudden the bike jumps forward and speeds off—around the building, down the back road, dissolving, fading smaller and smaller till at last I can’t see the red rear light gleaming in the dark or hear the roar of the bike’s engine.

Jase has gone.

I could break into a thousand pieces right now.

My hand rises to the pendant round my neck. The diamond my mother called Wakefield blue. My fingers close around it, and I know what I need to do now.

I need to find out everything about why Jase’s father killed my parents.

I’ll help Taylor get the dirt on Plum—the dirt Taylor needs to keep her secret safe. And in return, Taylor will help me find out the truth about what happened at Wakefield Hall all those years ago.

And maybe, just maybe, the truth will set Jase and me free.

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Lauren Henderson is the author of several acclaimed “Tart Noir” mystery novels for adults, as well as three romantic comedies and the witty romance handbook Jane Austen’s Guide to Dating, which has been optioned for film development by producer Kiwi Smith. Lauren’s books have been translated into more than twenty languages. She was born and raised in London, where she lives with her husband. You can find her at [http://www.laurenhenderson.net] www.laurenhenderson.net and at myspace/mslaurenhenderson.

This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents either are the product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, events, or locales is entirely coincidental.

Copyright © 2010 by Lauren Henderson

All rights reserved. Published in the United States by Delacorte Press, an imprint of Random House Children’s Books, a division of Random House, Inc., New York.

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eISBN: 978-0-375-89588-3

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