Kiss Me Hard Before You Go (18 page)

“Did Katie ever call?” he asked.

“No,” Evie said. “She hasn’t called.” If an expert detective were at the table he’d pick up on her lie. Anytime Evie told a fib, she went to great lengths and included useless information that just wasn’t needed. A simple “no” would have sufficed, but she just had to add the last part making it abundantly clear that Katie, had in fact, not called her.

“Where do you figure she ran off to?”

“I don’t know,” she said, trying to sound worried.

“Don’t fret, she’ll show up. I’ve seen that dumb boyfriend of hers in town. So I know she didn’t run off with him,” he said.

“It was nice of you to take me here tonight,” she said, changing the Katie subject.

“Thanks. I’ve been working you so hard. You’re doing a great job taking care of all them calves.”

Evie was responsible for bottle feeding the calves. Once the calves were delivered, the cows were sent off to a larger dairy farm to produce milk, leaving Evie in the role of mother to the needy calves.

“It’s no big deal,” she said.

“Still, all the same, you deserve something nice.”

They ordered their food and listened to the piano player try his hand at Billy Joel’s “Piano Man.” Gray sipped on his beer and said, “I love this song.”

“Me too,” Evie said. It was one of the few songs they could agree to.

“Your mother and I never liked the same music,” he said.

Evie had no interest in talking about her mother, but he continued anyway, “She liked The Beatles, Jefferson Airplane, and The Doors. I could never get her to listen to Motown.”

“Humph, doesn’t surprise me,” Evie said in a snippy tone.

“That wasn’t the only thing we didn’t have in common.” He leaned closer to Evie and scrubbed his hand over his face. “I met her at The Diner. Did I ever tell you that?”

“I think so...” Evie had only half-listened to any story about her mother.

“She worked there during her summer break from college. I always felt like she was smarter than me, going to college and all.”

“You’re smart,” Evie said.

“Thanks, Punkin, but your mother was sharp. She knew things I’d never even heard of, and she was the cutest little iddy biddy thing,” he said with a smile. “I was surprised when she went on date with me.” He took another swig of his beer and continued, “Her and Nate were high school sweethearts, but that summer they broke things off. I think she caught him cheating on her.”

“I didn’t know they dated,” Evie perked up. This was news to her.

He nodded his head. “Up until that summer. When I found out they broke up, I’d go in that restaurant just about every dern day just to see her. I was sweet on her all through high school, and when she finally agreed to go on a date with me, I was in hog heaven,” he said.

“She was lucky you asked,” Evie said.

He shrugged. “I ain’t too sure about that. What I should have done was let her be. We were different as night and day. She wanted the moon and more, and I was just a farmer’s kid. Nate McDaniels was a better match for her.”

“How can you say that?” Evie said in disbelief. Nate was pond scum in her book.

“‘Cause it’s true. Sometimes you covet something, and when you finally have it, you figure out you don’t need it, and it ain’t yours to want anyhow.”

“Do you regret her?” Evie asked, leaning forward.

“I regret what happened between us. Punkin, she wasn’t in love with me, and I thought I was head over heels in love with her, but the older I get the more I realize I was in love with the idea of her. She was something beyond my reach, and once I finally had her, I still felt empty because no matter how much you love something, if it don’t love you back, you ain’t ever going to be content.” He frowned and ran his fingers across his mouth. “I’ll never regret you. You’re the best thing that came out of that marriage.”

“She chose to leave.” Evie’s jaw tensed. She felt her heart beating against her chest. Anytime her mother was brought up, she always had this type of reaction; even ten years later, it felt like it only happened yesterday.

“I could’ve stopped dating her. I knew we were worlds apart, and then I got her pregnant. I was just as selfish as she was,” he said remorsefully. “She was trapped, and I knew it.” He shook his head and looked down at the table, peering into his half-empty beer.

“It takes two to tango,” Evie said.

“It does, Punkin, but I should have let her go. If I had really loved her, I wouldn’t have gone on more than one date with her.”

“She knew she didn’t love you. She had a choice, and she blew it,” Evie said with anger.

“She wasn’t happy. I wasn’t real surprised when she left. I knew it was coming. Every day I came home, I kept expecting her closet to be empty and for her to be gone. I just knew. Lord knows why it took her as long as it did? I guess she finally gave up,” he said. “The point is, I want you to quit being so angry towards her. You can’t keep blaming her, because I’ve forgiven her. I’ve forgiven myself. I learned the hard way, and I hate that you have so much anger festered up inside you. You keep at it, you’ll end up bitter and alone. That kind of anger will make you brittle and hard, and you don’t want that, Punkin. Believe me, you don’t want that.”

“But how can you forgive her for leaving us?”

“I had to make my peace. She was wrong to leave, and I was wrong to covet her. She’s got enough regrets to live with. We don’t need to hate her.”

“Ha,” Evie scoffed. “What regrets is she living with?” Evie never knew what happened to her mother, but she imagined that she was living with a wealthy man, spending his money on things Evie thought were superficial. She didn’t know if she had a half-sister or brother, but if she did, she felt sorry for them.

“She left you, and I figure that deep down that is burning her up inside. That’s the kind of mistake you never recover from. You don’t need to hate her, Punkin. She’s hating herself plenty for the three of us,” he said and finished off his beer.

The waitress delivered their plates, and they let the topic wither away as they ate their steak dinner. Evie tried to let what he said sink in, hoping that maybe one day soon, she’d learn to stop hating her mother.

***

Evie knew Gray would be asleep in no time. Steak dinners did that to him, and coupled with beer and a butter and sour cream filled baked potato, by the time she tiptoed to the door and closed it, he was snoring. Anyone within ear shot could hear him.

She made her way toward the other side of the property and prudently chose to wear her boots for the trek. She was still wearing her dress from her dinner with Gray, and she carried a bag filled with food, drinks, and magazines she had picked up for Katie.

The moon was full and cast a gleam of light as she padded her way through the property. She thought about the things her father had told her that night and wondered if she could stop hating her mother. It was all she’d ever known for so long, and letting go of that feeling was going to be hard. Really hard. Because she had set her mind on despising her when she left, and now, she thought, how would she feel about her? Nothing? Was she supposed to feel nothing about her? At least if she felt nothing, she could finally say with all certainty that she didn’t care.

She saw him coming her way, and her heart raced just a little faster.

“Hey,” he said with a quick head nod.

“Hi,” she said.

“You’re out late,” he said.

“I can say the same for you.”

“Whatcha got in the bag?” He pointed to it.

“Nothing,” she answered.

“Looks heavy,” he said. As he took it off of her shoulder, his fingers brushed against her bare skin, and goosebumps formed up and down her arm. He put the strap on his shoulder and patted the bag. “It’s pretty heavy. You trying out for the weightlifting team?”

“No,” she said, trying to figure out a lie, any lie would do at that moment. She was grasping at straws.

He folded his arms against his chest and stared directly into her eyes.“What’s going on, Evie?”

She bit on her lip and tucked her hair behind her ears. She brought a finger to her mouth and started to chew. “I can’t tell you,” she said, shaking her head.

“Are you a Soviet spy?” he teased and narrowed his eyes to her finger. She pulled it out of her mouth and gave him a dirty look.

“I wish,” she sighed. “If only it were that simple.”

He scrunched his face. “You’d make an awful spy, by the way.”

“Why’s that?”

“You don’t hide your feelings very well,” he said as he followed her. “And I bet spies have better comebacks.”

She looked at him as she ambled her way through the grass. “You’re going to follow me even if I don’t tell you, aren’t you?”

He shook his head up and down. “You’ve got me curious. Plus, you gotta stop walking around by yourself at night. Some of the guys I work with are real creeps,” he said, and his tone had an edge to it.

“How do you know I walk around by myself at night?” she asked, trying to sound appalled.

“The other night... when I saw you at the carnival.”

“Oh,” she said. “You’re observant. Maybe you’re the Soviet spy?”

He looked around before he whispered, “East German, but don’t tell anyone.” He appraised her and said, “You’re all dressed up.”

“My dad and I went out to dinner.”

“When your face isn’t getting in the way, you can really clean up,” he said.

“Thanks,” she said with sarcasm. “Your face is always getting in the way.”

He let out a loud, hardy laugh and walked beside her. Evie knew she shouldn’t let him in on her secret, but she had to tell someone, and her instincts told her that Finch could be trusted. That beneath his piss-ant exterior, he was trustworthy and earnest and may be able to help Katie.

They reached her old house, and Evie stopped outside the front door. “You can’t tell anyone,” she said.

Finch looked around and his eyebrows squished together. “What am I going to tell? Are you hoarding a Soviet spy in there?” He moved his head side to side and cupped his hand over his head.

“I mean it, Finch. You can’t tell.” Evie begged.

“Okay,” he said. “But if I go in there and find out you’ve got your high school rival’s mascot, I’m leaving.”

“Yeah. I saw that
Brady Bunch
episode too.” She let out a sigh. “You’re making this into a joke.”

“It’s kind of hard not to. You’re being all
Barnaby Jones
about it,” he said.

“You watch that show?” she asked with surprise.

“I’m a carny, not a recluse.”

Evie unlocked the door and pushed it open with Finch right behind her. Katie lay asleep on the couch with a magazine draped over her chest.

She whispered to Finch, “This is my best friend, Katie.”

He cocked an eyebrow and tilted his head to the side, giving her a silent look.

“It’s a long story,” Evie said. She sat the bag down on the table and tiptoed over to Katie. “Katie,” she whispered. She poked her on the arm.

Katie opened her eyes and widened them, moving her head and looking around in surprise. She let her eyes focus and looked at Evie and then at Finch. She frowned and said, “You brought him here? Evie,” she whined. She sat upright and messed with her hair.

“He won’t say anything,” she said and plopped down next to her, facing her. “And I really didn’t have a choice anyway.” Evie glared at Finch and then peered back at Katie.

They continued to argue as Finch quietly grabbed one of the chairs and carried it with him to where they were, sitting just a few feet away from the couch. He rubbed his hand along his jaw and over his mouth and didn’t say anything.

Katie noticed him looking at them. “Does he talk?” she whispered.

“Usually too much,” Evie said.

“Well, why is he just sitting there staring at us then?” Katie asked.

Evie shrugged.

“Finch Mills,” he said and stood up and shook hands with her.

Katie grimaced. “You’ve got quite the firm grip on you,” she said with admiration. She turned to Evie and said, “You were right; he is dreamy.”

Finch looked directly into Evie’s eyes with a superior expression. “So, I’m dreamy, am I?” he said, pleased with himself.

She flared her nostrils. “No. Not in the slightest.”

Katie giggled. “Y’all got it bad,” she said. She extended her hand and he shook it. “I’m Katie McDaniels.”

He sat back down on the chair and crossed his leg over the other. “Nice to meet you, Katie.” He flashed a smile, the warm sincere kind that Evie liked so much.

“You too,” she said. “Evie’s told me all about you.”

“She has, has she?” He jutted his chin and raised both of his eyebrows, directly looking into Evie’s blue eyes.

“Yeah. I told her what a piss-ant you can be,” Evie chimed in.

“You’ve been talking to Doris too much. Only she calls me that lovely name,” he said to Evie. “I can’t be that bad. You did agree to go on a date with me, remember?” He gave her a smug look.

Evie struggled for a comeback.

“Don’t strain yourself. I’ve got all night if you need it,” Finch said.

Evie pursed her lips.

He leaned forward and cupped his hand over his mouth, pointing at Evie. “I have that effect on her,” he said to Katie. “Is she turning red?”

“A little,” Katie said and chuckled. “I like you.”

“Well one person in this room has taste,” he said. “I like you too, Katie.” He paused, watching as she brought her hands to her stomach, and it all started to add up. “How far along are you?”

“How did you...?”

“You’re holding your stomach like you’ve got something golden in it, and we’ve had a lot of pregnancies in the carnival,” he said.”I can just tell.”

“Still?” Katie said impressed. “You’re observant.”

“Just good at putting two and two together.”

“And cocky,” Evie added with a moan.

“I think I’m thirteen weeks. I haven’t been to a doctor yet, but that’s what I’ve come up with,” she said and bit on her bottom lip.

“And your parents had a fit?” Finch said.

Katie nodded. “To say the least.” She breathed. “My mom cried herself to sleep, and my dad, well, he said some pretty horrible things.” Finch frowned and continued to listen. “He said he was sending me to my aunt’s and I’d have to give the baby up,” she said with a quivering lip. “But I’m not giving him up. I’m gonna raise him on my own despite the whole world being against me. Is that crazy?”