Kiss the Dead (32 page)

“The Mother of All Darkness was the ruler of the Vampire Council for thousands of years,
ma petite
. She was the first vampire, the creator of our culture and most of our laws. She was beyond queen or empress to us. She was our dark goddess.”

“We killed the Mother of All Darkness; that means we get to change her crazy-pants laws.”

“The queen is dead, long live the king,” Nicky said.

I looked at him.

He shrugged as much as all that muscle would let him. “It’s what all the vampires and older wereanimals are saying. You killed her, so you get the spoils by wereanimal society rules, but you’re Jean-Claude’s human servant, so he gets credit for it by vampire law.”

“I know the vampires consider me just an extension of Jean-Claude’s power, like a gun, or a bomb.”

“I do not think of you that way,
ma petite
, you know that.”

I leaned into the hug, putting my head on his chest. There was no reassuring heartbeat against my ear. His heart beat more than most vampires’ did, but it didn’t have to beat, and it didn’t beat all the time,
and it certainly beat slower than human or wereanimal normal. I hugged him tighter, because I missed the beat of his heart. I preferred furry to vampires, still. I loved Jean-Claude and a few other vampires, but I bedded a lot more wereanimals than vampires; there was a reason for that.

“I fed on a human tonight at the club, not one of our wereanimals, and I have not been near enough to you for your presence to warm me.”

“We’ll fix that,” I said, with my head tucked against the ruffles of his shirt. The ruffles and lace were never as soft as they looked, but tonight I didn’t care. He’d actually stopped wearing as many of his signature shirts because I didn’t like the stiffness of the cloth. But tonight I didn’t care; I just wanted him close to me.

He held me close and whispered, “Yes, we can fix that.”

“I have to clean up first. I’m still all sweaty and stuff from the crime scene.” I realized he was wearing a white shirt and I might have dried blood on me. It made me draw back and look at the front of him.

“What is wrong,
ma petite
?”

“I may have dried blood and things on me, and you’re wearing white.”

He drew me back into his arms. “I would rather hold you close than worry about my clothes. The shirt will wash, or we can throw it away. I do not care.”

I pushed back just enough to turn my face up, resting my chin on his chest so that I gazed up the line of his body, and he looked down so that our eyes met down the line of his chest. “I know you love me, but when you don’t care about your clothes, I know it’s true love for you.” I grinned as I said it.

He laughed, abrupt, surprised, and for a moment I got to see what he must have looked like centuries ago before being a vampire had taught him to control his face and show nothing for fear it would be used against him by those more powerful than him.

I smiled up at him, held as close to him as I could with clothes and weapons still on, and loved him. I loved that I could make him laugh
like that, loved that he felt safe enough to show me this part of him, loved that even when we were ass-deep in alligators, being with each other made it better. The alligators would be chewing on our asses either way, but with each other it was more fun, and we were more likely to be able to make a matching set of alligator luggage out of our enemies rather than end up as their dinner.

I gazed up at him as the laughter filled his face, and just loved him. The day had sucked, but Jean-Claude made it suck a lot less, and that was what love was supposed to do. It was supposed to make things better, not worse, which made me wonder if Asher truly loved anyone. I pushed the thought away, and enjoyed the man in my arms, and the fact that I had made him laugh.

J
EAN
-C
LAUDE AND
I were almost to the bedroom door when God came down the hallway looking unhappy. God was short for Godofredo, but he was tall enough, muscular enough, and just big enough that the nickname didn’t seem entirely funny. He was darkly Hispanic, and we had only one guard more massive than he was, Dino, but whereas Dino moved like a slow but immensely strong mountain, God was as fast as he was big. Dino would hit you harder, but God would hit you faster and more often.

“Sorry, Jean-Claude, Anita, but Asher is requesting to see Jean-Claude before he leaves.”

Jean-Claude sighed, and squeezed my hand. “I can deny his request, if you like?”

I looked at him, trying to read his face. I should have known better. “If you want to see him, see him, but I’m still too pissed.”

He gave a slight uptilt of lips that was almost a smile, but seemed sadder than a smile should be. The almost-smile was enough. I shook
his hand gently. “Go to him. It’s okay. I’ll clean up and wait for you in the bed.”

“I am sorry I won’t be able to join you in the tub.”

“It’s depressing to use the bathtub without company. I’ll hit the showers and do a quick cleanup.”

God cleared his throat. We looked at him. “Sorry, but handling Asher may take Jean-Claude a while. Just saying, in case that would make a difference to what Anita does.”

I looked at the big man. He looked uncomfortable. “What aren’t you telling us, Godofredo?” I asked.

He looked at his feet, obviously unhappy. He mumbled something.

“What?” I asked.

He looked up frowning. “I’m pretty sure that Asher wants more than just a talk with Jean-Claude. He seems to feel that once he’s exiled you may not allow him back and he wants a good-bye…” He spread his big hands out, gave a sort of shrug.

I frowned back at him, not exactly sure I understood, but thinking I might have a clue. I hoped I was wrong.

Jean-Claude raised my hand up and laid a kiss on the back of it. “I am sorry,
ma petite
, I may be gone some time.”

I looked up at him. “Asher wants good-bye sex, doesn’t he?”

“I believe so.”

I looked at him harder. “He hurt Sin and me tonight. I know you’re angry with him.”

“I am, but if it is to be the last time I would not pass it up.”

“Last time? He’s only going to be gone a month, right?”

“Perhaps longer; the city is needing a new master vampire and has petitioned me to recommend one.”

“You mean Asher might not be coming back?”

“Perhaps it is time he had his own territory.”

“Maybe, but…” I thought about never making love to Asher again, never seeing him top Nathaniel, or having him top me, or bottom to Richard, or be in the bed with Jean-Claude and me, or… Just no more
Asher. It made me sad to think about it, but… “If it was the last night ever, I’ll regret not being there, but I’m still too mad.” Then I realized, “Besides, he didn’t ask for me, did he?”

Godofredo shook his head.

“I would say this good-bye, in case it truly is good-bye, but I will give you the choice,
ma petite
.”

“Go,” I said, “say good-bye. You’ve loved him longer than the rest of us have been alive.”

“You will need to feed the
ardeur
, to heal yourself,” he said.

I fought not to look behind me for Nicky, as I said, “I’ll manage.”

Claudia said, “If you’re thinking about feeding on Nicky, then I need another guard to partner me.”

“You want a red shirt, or another black?” God asked. Nicky was wearing a red shirt, Claudia a black; Nicky was willing to feed the
ardeur
, and Claudia wasn’t. Red meant food; black meant they were just bodyguards. Though Nicky would feed the
ardeur
for me, but not for Jean-Claude, and he preferred not to donate blood to anyone, though if I told him to do it he’d do it, because he had no choice. I tried very hard not to make Nicky do things he didn’t want to do.

“Any time we guard, Anita, we’re supposed to be mixed, in case of emergencies,” Claudia said.

“I think Domino and Ethan are the only ones on the clock right now?” Domino, like Nicky, preferred to just be my food, but Ethan was more flexible and would let some of the vampires feed on him.

“Either,” she said.

“I’ll send one of them your way.” He looked at me. “Where do I tell them to meet Claudia?”

“Showers,” I said.

“The room you share with Micah, Nathaniel, and Sin, or the group showers?”

It startled me that God listed Sin like that. He didn’t always sleep with us. He had his own room at the house, and here, too, but he didn’t use it much. Was that what Asher had meant? It wasn’t always about
sex, sometimes it was just the big warm kitty piles, but if God had noticed then everyone had. God wasn’t the most observant of the guards when it came to personal stuff.

I thought about what God had asked, and said, “Micah might actually be asleep, so I guess the main showers.”

“That’s where I’ll send the backup then,” he said. He looked at Jean-Claude. “Are you ready, sir?”

“Yes,” Jean-Claude said, and he gave me a quick kiss, and followed God’s longer stride down the hallway. He never looked back, as he went to give Asher his good-bye. I watched him walk away in all that black leather, his long curls almost lost against it.

Nicky moved up beside me, his hand finding mine. We stood there holding hands and he asked, “Am I joining you in the shower, or you want me to wait outside and we find a bed?”

“Jean-Claude won’t be using his bed tonight,” I said.

“That’s true, and he’s okay with Micah, Nathaniel, Asher, even Sin, using the bed with you, without him, but I’m not on his favorites list.”

I looked at him. “You don’t feed him, the others do.”

He gave that half-shrug around all the muscle. “And Jean-Claude doesn’t like any of the men who won’t at least donate blood to him sharing his bed with you when he’s not there.”

I honestly hadn’t noticed, but now that Nicky said it, I realized he was absolutely right. “Then I guess you join me in the showers; that way we don’t have to worry about messing up anyone’s sheets.”

Nicky grinned. “Shower works for me.”

I grinned back. “Me, too.”

C
LAUDIA WAITED OUTSIDE
against the hallway wall, keeping an eye on both the entrance and exit. The original design for the group showers had been to have only one way in and out, but I’d vetoed that. Yes, it was two entrances that had to be watched, but one way in and out meant trapped. Jean-Claude had pointed out that if anyone got far enough past our defenses to attack the showers, then a second way out of them probably wouldn’t help. He had a point, but so did I, and the bodyguards voted with me. Paranoia was our friend.

There was a locker area complete with restrooms for both the men and the women. We actually had enough women living down here that it wasn’t as silly as when we’d first had it put in. It was nice not to be the only girl. When we were in the locker area Nicky reminded me of another reason it was nice to be a girl. He took me in his arms, and kissed me.

The kiss was soft, and then he pulled back, and looked at my face with that one blue eye and the fall of his hair over the other side of his face. “Did that hurt?”

“No,” I said.

He grinned, a fierce baring of teeth, and kissed me again. This time it wasn’t soft. He pushed his mouth hard against mine, and it did hurt.

I drew back. “That hurt.”

“I want to taste the blood in your mouth, before the sex helps heal you.”

“You aren’t a sadist. You don’t enjoy causing pain.”

“No, but I’m a lycanthrope. I enjoy the taste of blood and meat, and right now your mouth will taste like both.”

“Some shapeshifters would lose control doing something like that.” I studied his face, searching for a clue as to what it meant to him. Was this a bit of kink that he’d always enjoyed, but it had just never come up before, or was it a test of how much I trusted him?

He was my Bride, so he could feel what I was feeling, but Brides were different from any other metaphysical tie that I had. I couldn’t feel his emotions; it was all about his feeling mine, and catering to me. It meant he was, in some ways, a mystery to me.

I realized I was a little spoiled that I could just peek, or share emotions with almost everyone else. I used to hate the intrusive psychic connection; now I counted on it.

“Don’t you trust me?” he asked.

Ah, the trust tests. “You’re my Bride; I thought you couldn’t cause me pain, that it bothered you to do that.”

“You like a little pain mixed with your sex. I think it’ll translate to pleasure for you, and I know I’ll enjoy the blood, meat, and sex.”

I nodded. “Yeah, the whole prey-predator-chase thing gets confused with sex for most shapeshifters.”

Nicky grinned. “If we weren’t kinky before the change, we are after.”

I smiled. “Can’t argue that.”

“Can I kiss you the way I want?”

“Let’s take the weapons off first,” I said.

“Why?” he asked.

“Because once you get the taste of blood and meat, and if the pain flips my switch, we may forget the weapons and I don’t want you tearing the custom-made holsters off me just so you can get my clothes off.”

His grin got even wider, filling that blue eye with a shining joy. “Okay.” He let go of me and stepped back, hands going to his own holsters and guns. I started with the wrist sheaths and the two silver-edged blades. It would take me longer to strip weapons because I carried blades and guns. Nicky did guns, and kept one folding blade for utility purposes. He didn’t actually see the knife as a weapon, though I knew he could fight with a blade if he had to, but it wasn’t his forte. He preferred guns or hand-to-hand. He’d proven just how good he was without weapons in the fight with Ares.

“You’re all serious,” he said, “and not thinking about sex. You’re almost sad, what’s wrong?”

“You’re that finely attuned to my mood, wow.”

“You know I live to make you happy.”

“I’m sorry that you actually mean that and it’s not romantic rhetoric.” I paused in taking off the waist holster and the Browning BDM. I’d already put the knives in one of the little open lockers that came with its own key and lock.