Kissed Blind (A Hot Pursuit Novel Book 2) (29 page)

Chapter Two

Two years later…

I’ve always had a pretty concrete vision of what I wanted. My dad always said I was as determined as an ant building an ant hill, even back in the days when I colored with crayons and climbed trees. I’d work and work until my picture was perfect, and I’d climb and climb until I reached the top of the tallest tree. I never stopped until I thought I’d achieved the best result. And somewhere early on, I decided I wanted to be a lawyer. Maybe it was from watching episodes of
L.A. Law
with my mom when I was little and the seed was planted, but as far back as I can remember that was what I always wanted to be. My plan was to become a lawyer, get married, and when the time came, add a couple of children to the equation.

At twenty-eight my ducks were in a row. I graduated law school at the top of my class, passed the Bar on my first try and landed my job at the prestigious family law firm of Alexander, Richards, and Williams located in downtown Cincinnati. After meeting John, I moved in with him after only a few months of dating. Life was grand and I hoped a marriage proposal was right around the corner.  

In the bathroom, I’d finished washing my face and patted my skin dry. I called to John, “You coming to bed?”

“Yeah, in a sec. I want to catch the end of this game,” he said.

“Come back here and join me. I want to lay with you for a little before I fall asleep.”

I pulled the twisty holding up my long chestnut hair and fluffed my tresses, pinching my cheeks for a touch of natural rouge. Leaning into the mirror, I swiped the remnants of my black mascara out from under my eyes and slipped between the sheets almost naked. He huffed in the next room, tossing the remote on the side table next to the couch. When he walked through the door, he walked straight back to the bathroom. I waited patiently knowing the surprise I had waiting for him. He was normally the aggressor in our relationship, but I needed him tonight.

I’d had a tough day because my sister, Sarah, had had a tough day. Sadly, a little over a year ago, Sarah caught Anders on the phone with another woman and it confirmed her suspicions. As the story unfolded, she learned Anders had cheated during their entire relationship with numerous women. She was completely devastated and was having a difficult time getting herself and her kids through the break-up. She briefly tried to salvage her marriage, but eventually, when she saw it was hopeless, filed for divorce. Since then, a river of problems had rushed her way.

I was happy to help Sarah in any way I could, but starting my career and listening to her troubles wore on me. John listened to some of my stories, but he couldn’t relate to the problem. And somehow whenever I did share something with him, I always felt worse about it afterward. He had a lot of great attributes, but knowing the right thing to say wasn’t one of them.

He worked for a big ad agency and was under his own lot of pressure. He always called it a rat race and said if he let his guard down for even one second, someone would gladly be nipping at his heels waiting to take his place when he fell. So, I’d resolved to keep Sarah’s divorce mostly to myself. We both could’ve used some relief.

He shut the lights off in the bathroom and walked around the bed. He stripped down to his boxers and got under the covers. I assumed my position on his bare chest and waited for him to notice my absence of clothing. His arm wrapped around my shoulder, and then he leaned over for the remote. Somehow he hadn’t noticed. He was known to overlook the obvious sometimes and practically needed to be beaten over the head. So, I slid my hand over the soft curves of his stomach and underneath the waistband of his boxers.

“What’s going on with you tonight?” He laughed.

“Nothing. It’s just been awhile and I’ve had a tough day. Sarah’s been—”

He sighed. “I thought you were tired?”

“I am but not
that
tired. We’ve both been under a lot of pressure, and I miss you.” I scratched my nails up his side and nibbled on his ear lobe.

“Not tonight, sweetheart.”

I exhaled. “Really?” I rolled off him. “That’s not the reaction I was hoping for.”

“Oh, come on. I didn’t mean it like that.” He turned on his side and patted my stomach. “I just need to watch this game. We have an account we’re trying to land, and their current agency’s spots are on during this game. I need to know what we’re up against.” He raised his brows, and a sly grin spread across his lips. “Can I have a rain check?”

I smiled to hide my irritation. “Fine.”

“You’re the best. Love you.” He pecked my cheek.

“Love you, too.” I got out of bed and slipped on a t-shirt. Shortly after, I nodded off while John finished watching his game. And that was that.

When Friday rolled around, I looked forward to getting a head start on my weekend. Bernie Alexander, my boss, had given me the okay to go home early. I wanted to surprise John with the evening I’d imagined earlier in the morning.

He’d rushed out early only giving me a chaste kiss on the cheek. With everything we had going on we desperately needed to spend some quality time together. A distance had grown between us I was desperate to close.

As I drove along the highway singing one of my favorite tunes, I went through my plans. I was going to take a hot shower, put on some lingerie, slip into my highest heels, and lightly perfume my body with the scent John had given to me for Christmas. My hair would be loosely curled like it had been the night we’d met—he always said he loved it like that. There would be no rain checks tonight.

After stopping by our local wine shop to pick up a six pack of John’s favorite beer and a bottle of my favorite red, I opened the door to our condo. When I walked in, movement off to my left in the family room caught my attention. It was too early in the day for John to be home, so I assumed there was an intruder. I inched my way in and looked for something to use as a weapon. But, when I turned the corner, I saw the back of John’s head. His sandy brown hair, that was usually so perfectly coiffed, was ruffled and the muscles on his soft, naked body were tensed as he pounded into a woman from behind.

The air was sucked from my lungs. In a flash, I assessed this homewrecker and tried to see what could make him choose her over me. Her bleached-blond hair had at least one inch of black roots, and her shiny, shellacked, hot pink fingernails clung to the edge of our couch as she braced herself against his abuse. The folds of her stomach hanged loose, and her breasts swayed while she moaned his name. I was stunned. This couldn’t be happening—not to me. Then, he uttered words too vulgar to repeat, and it yanked me out of my stupor—he
never
spoke to me like that. This wasn’t
my
John.

I continued to watch in horror as he thrust himself into her. The burn of bile itched at my throat, staring at the ripples forming on her toneless white thighs. Maybe I could walk out— pretend I didn’t just see it—but it wasn’t a possibility. My cheeks flushed, and I threw my keys on the table next to the door.

“Sorry to interrupt
John
, catch you at a bad time?” My hands shook as I struggled to restrain myself from launching at his throat.

Their heads snapped up, and John instantly disengaged.

“Sember,” he said, grabbing his shirt to cover himself. He stepped in front of her naked body—a gesture to preserve her dignity—and I choked back a laugh. The woman ducked behind the couch and grabbed for her clothes. She threw her wrinkled sweater over her head and zipped into her snug, casual black slacks. Her bra dangled from her wrist as she snatched her shoes.

“I thought you said she wouldn’t be home,” she whispered to John.

When he silently shrugged, she grabbed the rest of her things, and edged her way past me to scurry out the door. Her bare feet slapped against the pavement outside.

John stood with his mouth open and grunted, trying to come up with the right words. Finally, he said, “It’s not what it looks like.”

I actually laughed.
Truly.
His career was built on coming up with tag lines on the spot, and
that
was the best he could produce. I always assumed he was great at advertising, but maybe the stress he’d been experiencing at work was justified.

“Look, I didn’t think you’d be home this early.” 

I took a deep breath and gathered my composure. “You didn’t think I’d be home this early? I’m sorry, did I hear you correctly?” I waited for a response while he threw on his clothes, but he said nothing. “How about I’m sorry? That’s where I’d start if I were you.”

He sat on the couch and groaned. “It didn’t mean anything, Sember. She works for the account we’re trying to win. I had to do it.”

“You had to have sex with another woman? Are you kidding me?”

“I knew you wouldn’t understand.” He shook his head.

Any words I could have said, planted themselves firmly in my throat. I was in a trance, watching someone else’s life. My feelings were all over the place. Rage, regret, fury, and despair simultaneously meshed together and then separated. I clutched my stomach and walked to our bedroom. He followed closely behind.

“Leave me alone,” I said. “You should go.”

“What?”

I pushed past him and pulled open the closet door. I yanked his suitcase down from the top shelf and thrust it at him. His arms remained slack. “Here. Put your stuff in here and get out. I’m going to pack up my things and I don’t need you hovering over me.” I couldn’t get out of there fast enough. I envisioned breaking into a full sprint, running for my car, escaping the madness and misery, but once I was gone, I never wanted to come back to this place. I put on my poker face and kept my cool. “This is your condo, not mine. You live here, and I don’t anymore.”

He crossed his arms and stood motionless. I tossed his suitcase on the bed and grabbed random things off the floor. My eyes welled as he watched, but I wasn’t going to give him the satisfaction of seeing me cry. I grabbed his laundry basket, dumped it into his suitcase, zipped it up, and shoved it against his chest.

“Here! Call your girlfriend. Maybe you can stay with her for a while.”

“Sember, you’re overreacting a little. Come on. Just listen to me.”

“I have absolutely nothing to hear. Get. Out!”

“You know what? Fine. You obviously need some time to cool off, but this isn’t over.” He tossed his head back and slipped on his shoes before walking out the door. As soon as the lock clicked, I fell to my knees and sobbed.

Chapter Three

I stayed on my knees until I caught my breath, but I didn’t want to linger any longer than necessary and risk John coming back. I needed to call my rock, and the one person I could count on no matter what. We’d known each other since we were fifteen, and she’d know the right things to say. I dialed her number, and she picked up after the first ring.

“Liz,” I said.

“Who else would it be, dawling?” She laughed.

“Can I come over?”

“Of course you can,” she said and then hesitated. “What’s wrong? You sound upset.”

“I just caught John having sex with some slut in my living room.”

“What!” She gasped. “Okay. Wait. What happened now?”

I told her everything.

Without hesitation, Liz told me to grab my things and move in with her. She’d inherited an old house from her aunt years ago in the Hyde Park area just east of the city and had plenty of room.

“I can go back later and get more of your stuff if you can’t fit it all in your car. Ugh, what a prick,” she mumbled under her breath. “You get out of there as fast as you can and we’ll talk more when you get here.”

“Okay.” I thanked God she offered to let me move in with her. My parents are great people, but there are two things you need to know about them: One, they loved girl’s names beginning with S’s—my sister being named after our grandmother, and me being named after my mother’s favorite month. And two, they are the most loving and generous people you’ll ever meet. That being said, I didn’t want to move back in with them.

I crammed all my things into my car, and an hour later, I shut the door to John’s condo. On my way out, I broke my key off in the lock.
Screw him
.

“Good Life” by O
NE
R
EPUBLIC
played on the radio. “Good life my ass,” I muttered under my breath

The February sky was gray and filled with thick rolling clouds. The weathermen warned of an impending winter storm, but they never seem to get it right anyway. All of the locals called it “white death.” You’d think it was the apocalypse the way people rushed to the stores and emptied the shelves. “Just perfect
.”
Tears rolled down my cheeks and dripped onto my lap. “Doom and gloom are all around me.” Twenty minutes later, I pulled into Liz’s driveway.

She ran out and greeted me with a hug. “Let’s get this stuff inside then I’ll pour us drink. Sound good?”

“Yeah, I think getting drunk is my only option right now.” I forced a laugh.

We dropped my things on the kitchen floor, and Liz filled two very large glasses with red wine. We sat on the couch, and I wrapped myself in my favorite red velvet throw.

“Tell me everything.” The wind howled outside as I stared into her blue eyes, reliving each painful detail, again, all the while her mouth hung open. “I should go punch that little weasel. You want me to call Michael? He’s got friends who’ll rearrange his face if you want. Just say the word.”

Liz comes from a big, Irish Catholic family. She’s the youngest of five siblings, and her oldest big brother Michael would always be her biggest protector. Her brothers and sisters were like my second family, and I knew Michael would gladly rearrange John’s face if I asked him. But, the last thing I needed was for him to get thrown in jail over someone who wasn’t worth my time.

“It’s a sweet offer, but no, thank you.” I chuckled. “I just can’t believe he threw everything away on some cheap lay—and believe me, she looked cheap,” I said, blowing my nose.

“I don’t doubt it.”

“He didn’t even apologize. He was more annoyed I’d caught him.”

“Typical. Men can be such douchebags. They do something wrong and then twist it around like it was your fault. Remember Jason? He did that all the time. Been there. Done that.”

“Me too, sadly.” I shook my head. “I can’t believe I thought he was the one. What a waste.”

“Well, I never thought he was right for you.” She took another sip of her wine.

“You didn’t?” I curled my lip. “You never said anything.”

“I was waiting to see what you saw in him. I figured there had to be something special about him if you liked him so much, but it never happened. Every time I was around him he rubbed me the wrong way.”

“Really?” I leaned my head against my palm. “Like what?”

“There was just something off about him. It was weird the way he’d get crazy jealous if any other guy glanced your way or dared talk to you.”

“I always thought it was kind of sweet and endearing, like it was his way of claiming me.”

“No, it was weird. You were his territory. You remember the fight he got into when that poor guy offered to buy you a drink when we all went out a while back.”

“Yeah.” I sighed. “But he didn’t always act like that. That was one time and he was pretty drunk. ”

“Um, once?” She cocked her head to the side.

I pursed my lips. “All right, maybe it was more than once.”

“All I’m saying is that it wasn’t normal. He couldn’t stand for another guy to talk to you, but he made a big deal out of holding your hand. It never made sense to me.”

“He always said holding hands was lame though.” I grimaced. “That was
annoying.”

“Face it. You settled for him, and I say good riddance. You’re young, smart, and beautiful…I’d kill for your eyelashes. Your Mr. Wonderful is still out there somewhere.” She grabbed a blanket and wrapped herself up, giving into the chill in the air. “Hopefully he’s hanging out with mine, because damn, am I sick of waiting.” She chuckled.

I snickered while blotting my cheeks. She always found a way to make me laugh. And in that moment, I realized she was right. I had settled for John.

I used to think, so what if he didn’t hold my hand. He treated me well behind closed doors. He kissed me, hugged me, and always told me I was pretty. But in retrospect, I guess those things will only get you so far, and oftentimes, I felt alone. I’d been overlooking the things that were inherently wrong for quite a while. There had to be a reason why I never felt comfortable sharing my problems with him—I should have felt comfortable, but I didn’t.

A flood of phone calls and texts came in from John throughout the night. Liz eventually grabbed my phone and turned it off in an effort to save my sanity. There wasn’t anything he could say; it was over.

Liz and I stayed up well into the night talking until I’d thoroughly beaten the dead horse. Somewhere after one o’clock, we crawled into our beds, sufficiently bombed. My eyes were swollen from crying, and thankfully I passed out. It had been an awful day, but at least it was over.

The next morning I woke up with a throbbing headache. I had to call my family and let them know about my change of venue. I snatched some Advil from Liz’s medicine cabinet and headed to, what was now my room, to call Sarah.

I sat on the edge of my bed and ran my hand over the pale lavender, silk quilt. It was soft against my palm while my insides felt like a cluster of jagged edges. I grabbed my phone off the nightstand and dialed Sarah. After she picked up, I gave her the abridged version of everything that had happened; it was too painful to go through all the gory details again.

“Well, I’d like to say I’m shocked but nothing seems to surprise me these days.” Sarah chuckled uneasily. “I’m really sorry. Liz is a good friend. She’ll take care of you the way you take care of me.”

“Yeah, she took care of me last night. I’m rockin’ a pretty solid headache right now.”

“That’s what a good friend does. She made you laugh when you were crying, didn’t she?”

“She did.”

“Of course she did. That girl’s hilarious.”

“She really is.” I laughed. “Well, anyway, I just wanted to let everyone know where I was.” I sighed and drank a big gulp of water. “Any news on a ruling yet?”

Sarah had been dealing with an onslaught of legal problems. Anders had filed contempt charges against her when she took the kids on vacation shortly after she’d filed for divorce. She’d been gone a couple days over the two weeks she’d been entitled to in her temporary custody order, and Anders tried to insist on paying them a visit on her vacation because of it. Sarah didn’t allow it under the advice of her counsel. The trial had taken place earlier in the week, and Sarah had been traumatized by the experience. I’d assumed her lawyer, Chuck, would have told her what to expect from the trial, but he hadn’t. I could only describe her as being shell-shocked afterward.

“Seriously, we can talk about me later. I’m sure you need to talk this out a little. I know you.”

“No, really.” I groaned and rubbed my temples. “I don’t want to talk about it anymore. It’s over and in the past. I need to talk about something else. Liz and I were up late, and I had crazy dreams all night. This will be a welcomed distraction.”

“Okay.” She conceded with a sigh. “No, no ruling yet, but I’m sick worrying over it. The judge didn’t seem to like me much, so I’m sure she’s going to rule against me.”

“They’re not normally warm and fuzzy people, but you never know. Being gone a couple of days longer shouldn’t be that big of a deal especially knowing how much Anders called and harassed you while you were gone.”

“Yeah, it probably would have been nice if Chuck had brought that up. I’m just so mad. Pissed actually.” She whispered that last words so her kids wouldn’t overhear. “He told me I shouldn’t let Anders visit. I can’t believe he advised that knowing it could have come to this”

“Well honestly, I didn’t think Anders would stoop this low, but it’s just another thing I’ll tack on the list of things I never saw coming.”

She tittered. “Me, too. You said it could be another two weeks though, right?”

“Yeah, just keep checking the website for a ruling, and I will, too. The last time I looked was Thursday after we talked. I thought it would be too soon still, but I know how anxious you are to hear something.”

“I could puke over how anxious I am. I’m just going to keep the faith that I’m following the rules and doing what’s right for my kids. This is all so confusing.”

“It can be, but I’ll help any way I can.”

“I know,” she said, and then I hung on the line while she talked to Will in the background. “Hey, you keep your chin up, okay?
All
of this totally sucks. Take the weekend to be sad then take my advice and move on.”

“I’m moving on. Liz’ll probably make us go out so I don’t wallow in self-pity.” My voice cracked, and I cleared my throat to fight back the fresh round of tears rising to the surface. I glanced out the window just past my nightstand. The predicted winter storm had resulted in a dusting of snow. Typical.

“Follow her lead. You guys always have fun together.” She took a long breath and let it out slowly. “Look, I hate to cut this short, but I need to get the kids dressed for Will’s soccer game. And, I have to look at Anders’s chubby cheeks and pretend that life is grand.” 

I laughed. Sarah had mentioned Anders had put on some weight in the months since they’d been apart. He always prided himself on his sharp, expensive wardrobe and his tight physique. I pictured his tailored shirts growing tighter around his midsection. Since he moved out, I imagined he paid one too many visits to drive-thrus. Sarah always cooked healthy meals for him at home, and he had no idea how to do it for himself. So even though he didn’t appear to suffer from the loss of Sarah in any other way, and with as petty as it was, it gave me a small shred of satisfaction knowing he was being stripped of his vanity.

“Give me a call later if you still feel like you need to talk,” she said.

“Thanks, I’ll be fine. I smell coffee so it’s not going to be too bad.” I inhaled deeply, hoping the air would be caffeinated. “Would you mind telling Mom and Dad where I am and that I’m all right?”

“Sure. No problem.”

When the call ended, I got up and splashed some water on my face in the bathroom across the hall. Liz had her own private bathroom off her bedroom, so this was all mine. Everything was white with brushed silver accents. She’d replaced the old weathered tub shortly after she moved in with a grand walk-in shower. It was pretty fantastic, and the oversized showerhead was something created out of a dream. I longed for a hot shower to wash away the painful memories, but instead I threw my hair into a ponytail and followed my nose downstairs.

I trudged with bare feet and walked on the cold, refinished oak floors through the family room and into the kitchen. The sleek white cabinets and gray granite countertops gave the room a peaceful French Country feel. I hoped, standing there, it would somehow seep into my pores.

Liz already had a mug of coffee poured and waiting for me on the island. I sat down on one of the saddle barstools and wrapped my hands around my warm saving grace. The rich aroma immediately made me feel at home. As I looked into Liz’s smiling face, I knew everything was going to be all right.

“Good morning, sunshine,” she said. “I’ve got quite a day planned for us.”