Kissing Fire (23 page)

Sleep evaded me that night, like it had for most
other nights. The visions of her were so real I would jolt when I
felt her hand slide across my chest. I thought prison was the worst
torture a man could endure. Oh how wrong I had been. This was
surely a million times worse than prison had ever been. I would
rather someone beat me to a bloody pulp than have to endure this
kind of anguish night after night, knowing what I wanted so badly,
would never be mine again.

********

Pete and I met for breakfast in the EPIC cafe at
eight the next morning.

“You got what you asked for. Before you leave here
today, make sure you have everything you need Preston. Once your
leave is official, you’re off the clock. That means no clearance
for anything. You understand?”

“Yeah,” I laughed, “but that’s what I have you
for.”

He laughed too and replied, “Well, you may find your
ass in a sling if you can’t reach me. You know I’ll still be
running missions.”

“I have other connections, you know.”

“True, but some of those connections scare the piss
out of me.”

“As they should, but they’ve saved my ass a time or
two.”

“All kidding aside. Is there anything you need from
us here?”

“No. All’s good.” I grinned at him.

“I hear ya. Do me a favor though, will you? When you
hack into our system, be neat about it, okay?”

“I will. No worries there. I do need a big favor
from you though.”

“Anything.”

“Keep a tight eye on Caroline and Justin. If
anything ever happened to either one of them...” I got choked up
and couldn’t go on. My throat burned with emotion.

“Hey, you know they’re on a constant watch with us,
right?”

“Yeah, but I need trusted eyes on them Pete. I
mean...”

“I got it covered man. No worries,
you hear?”

“Thanks.”

We finished up and I looked at Pete and said, “I owe
you.”

“I hardly think so.
We
owe
you
Preston. Go and get
your girl back. I hope the wind is with you man.”

Chapter 21

Avery

It didn’t surprise me to see him sitting there, but
I squealed and ran around to give him a hug. We both laughed and
then he pushed me away, gently, and said, “I’ll be honest Ava. I’ve
seen you looking better.”

After blowing out my breath, I said, “What? You mean
you don’t like the purple color I’m wearing under my eyes these
days?”

Right then, one of the waitresses, Felicia, bopped
over and said, “Well hey Avery. Who’s this?”

Rolling my eyes at Justin, I said, “This is my
brother, Justin. Justin, meet Felicia.”

Before I could get another word out, Felicia had
wedged her way between us and was practically rubbing herself all
over my poor brother. “Well, hello there Justin. Where has Avery
been hiding you?”

I grabbed her arm and yanked her back to my side and
announced in a loud voice, “Avery’s been hiding Justin in Seattle
with his wife Caroline. If anyone else wants to know, Justin is off
limits.”

Felicia immediately pouted her big
silicone injected puffed out lips and said, “What a pity. We
could’ve had such fun.”

“Perhaps in your dreams, Felicia.”

“Avery, you’re no fun.”

“Maybe not. But Caroline, my sister-in-law is my
best friend and the love of Justin’s life. Not to mention she’s
absolutely gorgeous. So, get back to work and take some drink
orders already.”

“Damn, you need to get laid girl,” Felicia
huffed.

“Well, that’s the damn truth,” I
said under my breath.

I turned to Justin who been watching this whole
exchange with undisguised amusement. “Boy, you really are
protective, aren’t you? I liked that little extra touch of the best
friend thing. That was nice.”

“Well, I have to be protective of you, especially
when it comes to that silicone stuffed thing. Did you see the lips
on her? She looks like she got her mouth stuck on a commercial
grade vacuum cleaner. Dyson could use her for an advertisement.
What’s up with these women and their puffed out lips these days? I
don’t get that at all.”

“I’m with you on all that. I guess they think it’s
attractive or something.”

“Well, it looks ridiculous. Can’t they look in the
mirror and see? Cheezits!”

“Cheezits?”

“Yeah, cheezits.”

Justin shook his head at me and laughed. “What time
do you get off work?”

Glancing at my watch, I was surprised to see it was
five o’clock. “An hour ago!” I laughed. “I was filling in for a few
hours for someone and I guess I lost track of time.”

“Do you want to go to dinner tonight?”

“Yeah! Do you want to see my super sized studio
apartment?”

“Sure!”

“I’d invite you to stay with me, but you’d have to
sleep on a blow up mattress.”

“Ava, I’m long past my blow up days. I’m staying at
The Vail Chalet.”

“Oh great. That’s right around the corner from here
and from my super sized studio apartment. Let me check out of here
and we can go.”

It was so great to see Justin. I didn’t realize how
much I had missed him until he and I started chatting. We stopped
by my place so I could change. He loved it, or at least that’s what
he said. It was hard not to love my studio though. It was decorated
really cute, courtesy of yours truly, and it was in the perfect
location.

When I was ready, we headed over to Rosemary’s, one
of the hottest places to eat. Justin had made reservations in hopes
that I could join him. After we were seated, the questions began
rolling in.

“He came to Seattle.”

I simply nodded. There wasn’t much else to say and I
was truly afraid that if I did, that devastatingly brutal pain
would surface and take over my life again. I inhaled deeply,
pushing those thoughts aside. My hands were folded on the table in
front of me and I stared at them, wondering how the bones of my
fingers weren’t popping through my skin. Surely my skin must be
extremely tough. Maybe my skin could teach my heart a thing or
two.

Justin’s voice came to me again, softly, yet
persistent. “You’re going to have to talk about it sometime Ava. It
won’t vanish into thin air. Trust me on this one. I know.”

My lips were pulled so tightly between my teeth, I
was sure they would be bruised come morning. My throat convulsed as
I tried to swallow. After three tries, I succeeded.

“It’s, ah...well, it’s not the easiest thing for me
to talk about.”

“I understand.”

“I’m not sure you do.” My leg and foot began
bouncing up and down and my hand went to my throat in an effort to
ease my breathing, which had suddenly become quite difficult. The
tears I thought I had done an admirable job of holding back,
blurred my vision as they overflowed my meager lids. Truth be told,
I would’ve needed a damn gallon bucket to hold the mess of liquid I
was trying to force back. “I, um, it may be best not to talk about
this here. It’s quite humiliating, you see.”

Justin reached out and took my hand in his. I wished
to God he hadn’t done that. For some reason, the slightest gestures
of kindness seemed to set me off toward an avalanche of emotional
overload. I bolted. Staying in that booth, with all those happy
faces around, just wasn’t going to work. As I dashed for the
restroom, I didn’t see the waiter with that huge tray in his arms.
As bad luck would have it, I crashed right into him and we both
ended up on the floor, covered in all sorts of sauces and bits of
delicacies. He immediately wanted to know if I was all right and I,
on the other hand, instantly broke out in sobs. Waiters streamed in
from everywhere, surrounding us, cleaning up the debacle I had
created. Someone lifted me to my feet and escorted me to the
Ladies’ Room where I was handed towels and other things to clean
myself off with.

Words of apology kept gushing out
of my mouth, but the person helping me kept eyeing me like I was
crazy. Only I knew the truth. She thought I was upset about the
food that was dripping off of me. Justin was called in and the
restaurant packaged up some food for us to carry home. We left and
went back to my lovely studio, so I could cry my eyes out in the
privacy of my own home.

“I didn’t know things were this bad for you Ava. I’m
so sorry you’re going through all of this.” He tried to console me,
but my shuddering cries of anguish only seemed to get worse. His
arms were around me, rocking me back and forth and I gratefully
accepted them.

After what seemed like forever, I asked him, “How
long did it take for you to get past this awful part? Every time I
feel like I’m turning the corner, I find myself in another one of
these situations where I can’t seem to stop bawling my eyes
out.”

“Forever. Time wasn’t my friend at all. Running
helped. So did the music when I ran, turned up as loud as I could
stand it to drown out the sound of her voice.”

“Did you sleep?”

“Hardly.”

“Night time’s the worst for me. I feel him next to
me. His warmth. I can smell him and I want to touch him. I don’t
think I’ve slept more than a couple of hours since it all happened.
I accidentally took one of his shirts when I left and I sleep with
the damn thing every night. I’m that freaking pitiful Justin.”

Justin gave me a crooked smile. “I know what you
mean. I was the same way. I didn’t sleep a full night until she
came back to me.”

I rubbed my chest, trying to ease that persistent
ache. Justin handed me a box of tissues. “Thanks.” I blew my
nose...again.

“Can I ask you something?”

“Yeah.”

“Why don’t you talk to him?”

My head jerked toward him. That he could even ask me
such a preposterous question had me floored. My mouth fell open and
I just stared at him.

“I know you think I’m nuts, but
Ava, I had to live almost two fucking years like this. Are you
willing to do that? It doesn’t go away. If you love him like I
think you do, I can tell you, two years from now, you’re still
gonna feel like shit. And if you could see him, he feels just as
shitty as you do. You’re two people that desperately need to talk
and the ball is in your court. He fucked up. I’m not minimizing
what he did at all, in any way shape or form. But I know Preston. I
know him well. He’s not a bad guy. He’d take a bullet for you on a
bad day. You say you accept him for everything he is and was...that
means with all his imperfections. He’s flawed Ava. He tried to tell
you that. All I’m suggesting is to talk with him.”

“I don’t think I can ever trust him not to lie like
that again. Justin, he destroyed my life. My job. Everything.”

“Seriously? You’re sounding like Mom now. Let’s
analyze this. He gave you something you never had. Love. That’s
worth a lot more than a damn job. Your life, in your own words, was
fucked up before you even met him. That’s why you changed jobs and
moved away from Charleston. You can’t put that on him. You’re
brilliant Ava. You can get any damn job you’d want anywhere you’d
want. You’ve got a fucking MBA from Harvard for Christ’s sake with
a resume a mile long. Hell, you graduated first in your class with
a 4.0. And what are you doing now? You’re tending bar. You can’t
blame that on him either.”

“Yeah, I can. I’m not emotionally ready to tackle a
new career right now.”

“Okay, I’ll give you that much. But seriously, it’s
not like you need the money or anything. Listen, when Terri died, I
wanted to die too. The only thing that kept me going was I knew she
would’ve wanted me to go on. You have a second chance. At the time,
I didn’t know I had one with Caroline. Ava, take it and call him.
Even if it doesn’t work out, at least you’ll know. You have to have
doubts in your mind. You know in your heart he’s a good guy,
right?”

I nodded. I ran through all the
things that had happened between us and I couldn’t find fault with
any of them except for that huge lie. But it was so
huge
, I didn’t know if I
could ever get past it and I told that to Justin.

“So if you can’t, at least you’ll know. And so will
he.”

“I’m not ready yet. I need more time. I’m afraid if
I call him right now, I’ll cave and I need to be strong when I talk
to him.”

Justin nodded. “I get that. So what are your
plans?”

I gave him a half grin. “What do you think?”

“You staying for the whole season?”

“You got it. I figured it would be my big chance to
get away and do this. I’m also...” I squinted my eyes at him before
I continued, “I’m thinking about starting a business here.”

“Oh yeah? What kind?”

“That’s the million dollar question. It would be
something to do with finance, obviously. I don’t want anything with
a store front. So I’m just in the early stages of thinking up some
stuff. Maybe consulting. Vail Resorts is so huge, who knows? Maybe
I can come up with something involving them. They’ve been snagging
up properties all over the place. We’ll see.”

“I can see you out here permanently. But you’re
gonna have to buy a bigger place.”

“Smart ass. I rented this just for the season. I
figured it would give me some time to look and see where I’d want
to plant myself. I don’t want to live in the village. It’s too
crowded. I want something away from the people.”

“Yeah, I don’t blame you. You can valet all your ski
equipment so you don’t need to live right here. So, you wanna hit
the slopes tomorrow?”

“Think you can take me on?” I asked him. There
weren’t too many things I could dust Justin on, but skiing was
definitely one of them.

“Hell no, I can’t take you on. I just wanted to do
some runs with you!” he laughed.