Kissing Fire (4 page)

“Damn girl, that’s a lot of dough.”

“I know, right? The company’s paying for it
though.”

We headed to my bedroom and started tackling the
closets.

********

The following afternoon, Melissa took me to the
airport. My dad was on call (he was a physician like the rest of
the guys in my family) and my mom had conveniently decided she was
too busy. We pulled up in front and Melissa single handedly
unloaded the trunk and carried in all my luggage in one trip. I’d
never seen anything like it. Then she handed me a wrapped gift.

“Here’s a going away present for you. I thought you
could open it on the plane. I think it’ll come in handy, wherever
you are.”

“Oh Melissa, you didn’t have to do that!” I threw my
arms around her, or tried to anyway. There was a lot of her to get
around, so I did the best I could do. “I’m really gonna miss
you!”

“Well, make sure you get a two bedroom because I’ve
never been to Seattle and I’m coming to visit. Hell, I’ve never
been out of South Carolina. We’re gonna have so much fun!”

“You bet! Thanks for everything and I’ll call
you.”

She left and I suddenly felt bereft. She had been
the best neighbor I could ever have asked for and she’d never asked
for anything in return. As soon as I was settled, I would send her
a plane ticket to visit me, I decided.

After I checked in and paid that ridiculous fee for
my extra baggage, I made my way to the security check point. I’d
stuffed Melissa’s gift into my carry on, pulled out my laptop and
put it into one of those gray bins. Next I took off my shoes and
put them in one and added my purse.

The TSA man motioned me through and I walked into
the metal detector X-ray machine thingy and held my arms up over my
head like I was doing the Village People YMCA dance. Apparently I
wasn’t wearing a bomb or didn’t have an AK-47 hidden in my vagina,
because they waved me through.

As I waited for my belongings to be scanned, another
TSA worker held up my carry on and hollered out, “Who does this bag
belong to?”

I was so proud of that bag. It was white with black
and pink polka dots on it and I just loved it.

I hollered back, waving my arm in the air, “It’s
mine! Isn’t it cute?”

He didn’t comment except he said, “You need to
follow me ma’am.”

I knew how scary these people could be on any given
day, so I just smiled and followed him to another table, where we
were immediately surrounded by several men. Now I began to get
curious.

They started pulling everything out of my bag and
dumping it on the table as they muttered among themselves. I
silently stood by and watched. One of them got on his radio and
called for the Charleston PD and told them to locate an FBI agent.
Now I was really getting concerned.

“Excuse me, can you tell me what’s going on?”

No one would answer me. Three police men ran up and
shoved me away from the table. They were all staring at the wrapped
gift and mumbling about wiring and such.

“Ma’am, can you explain this?” he asked as he held
up the wrapped gift.

“The present?”

The one that asked me the question rolled his eyes.
Was that a stupid question I’d just asked?

A man in a suit ran up to us then and he pulled out
his ID badge, indicating he was an FBI agent. Before I knew what
happened, each of my arms had been grabbed and I was being hauled
down the concourse toward a section of the airport I had never seen
before.

“What in the world is going on?” I asked.

No one would answer. We finally got to a room with a
table and six chairs. I was shoved into the room and a female TSA
agent came up to me and patted me down. Then she ran one of those
funky wands up and down me a couple of times. When she was done,
she shoved me into a seat. The FBI guy, a TSA agent and the two
police officers sat in the others, all facing me, staring me
down.

“How can you explain this?” one asked, as he held up
the wrapped box.

“The present from Melissa?”

“Don’t be a smart ass with us Miss. What is your
name?”

“Avery Middleton.”

“Miss Middleton. How can you explain this?”

“It’s a gift from Melissa.”

The FBI guy groaned and rubbed his head. The door
opened again and another TSA agent came in with one of those big
German Shepard guard dogs. The dog came up to me and I reached out
my hand to pet it. I thought it was a handsome looking dog and I’d
always loved animals.

“Hi there fella,” I said.

The damn thing nearly took my hand
off as it growled and snapped at me, while the agent pulled it back
by its leash. I screamed at the top of my lungs and everyone jumped
to their feet as the room broke out in chaos. I leaped up on the
table fearing that beast was going to chow down on me for lunch, as
it was now foaming at the mouth while his saliva was gushing out
and pooling on the floor.

“Are you all trying to kill me or something?” I
hollered.

“That’s a bomb sniffing dog! You’re not supposed to
pet the damn thing. It’s trained to attack!”

“Well, it would’ve been nice if y’all had told me!
Dern, it nearly ate my arm!”

“It did not!”

“Did too! What kind of place are y’all running
here?”

“Miss, you are in serious trouble here. I’d caution
you to take care of what you say. Now get down off that table and
take a seat,” FBI guy said.

“Not until you get that man eating beast out of
here.”

“That beast is here to determine what’s in that box,
because you don’t seem competent enough to tell us.”

“Well! Of all things. I can’t tell you what’s in
that box because I don’t know. My friend, Melissa, gave it to me as
a going away gift and seeing as I haven’t opened it yet, and don’t
have X-ray vision, it would be impossible for me to say what’s in
the damn box.”

“Miss Middleton, are your friends usually in the
habit of giving you bombs for going away gifts?”

“Bombs? What are you talking about?”

“Without opening this package, from what we can
tell, this is an electrical device that closely resembles a bomb.
Can you tell us why you are carrying a bomb?”

“No! Melissa wouldn’t give me a bomb.”

“How well do you know this Melissa?”

“Look, I know her well enough to say she wouldn’t
carry a bomb. Yeah, she’s a sumo wrestler and all, but she’s not a
terrorist. Although she did strike terror into the heart of Little
Dickie Mike Dixon.”

“Excuse me?”

“Never mind.” I was so nervous I had started
rambling now. After what I’d just told them, they really were gonna
think Melissa was a terrorist.

“So, who is this Little Dickie Mike
Dixon? Is he part of this terrorist cell?
Does he have anything to do with this bomb?”

Oh dear God, what in the hell have I gotten myself
into?

“No! For the love of God forget about Little Dickie!
Look, Melissa is not a terrorist and that is not a bomb. I have to
catch a plane so can I go?”

“No, you can’t go. You may be going to jail, or even
worse, GTMO.”

“Jail? GTMO? You mean Gitmo, as in Guantanamo Bay?
Because of a present? What the hell?”

“Yes, Miss Middleton. You are in serious trouble
here. It is a federal offense to carry a bomb on an aircraft.”

“Oh for the love of God, that isn’t a damn bomb.
Give me that box!” I yelled. I grabbed the box and ripped it open.
And holy Toledo, out popped one of those giant vibrating
wands...those kind that plug into the wall and come with all sorts
of attachments, kind of like a vacuum cleaner. This thing looked
like a hand held immersion blender. It was that huge. What the hell
had Melissa been thinking? I could get half of Seattle off with
this thing.

I looked up at the room full of people and their
eyes looked like they were ready to roll out of their heads. Two of
them had even drawn their guns and that damn dog was still growling
and snapping.

“I wouldn’t shoot it if I were you. It might be
kinda hard to explain that you shot a vibrator thinking it was a
bomb. Wouldn’t look too good on your record, if you ask me.”

They all just kept staring at me.

“What? Haven’t any of you ever seen
a damn vibrator before?” Honestly, I’d never seen one like
this
before either, but I
wasn’t gonna let them know that. “Stop already with the looks. You
guys use your hands, we women like our toys, okay?”

FBI guy finally said, “Er, Miss Middleton, I think
you can go now,” as he cleared his throat.

“Thanks. Oh, can I have my box too?” I winked as I
grabbed the box. Then I asked, “Would one of you boys mind
escorting me back to my belongings? I have no idea where I am.” I
smiled ever so sweetly to them. That was one thing I learned from
my mom. We Southern women knew how to smile sweetly.

********

Thank God I made my flight. I was connecting in
Atlanta and if I had missed it, there was no telling how long I
would’ve had to wait for the next one. By the time I got to
Seattle, I was exhausted. I don’t know what it is about flying, but
it took the steam right out of my engine.

I was to meet my new boss in the morning, so I
checked into my hotel, ordered room service and got ready for bed.
It didn’t matter that it was only seven in the evening. I was worn
out.

I called Melissa and cussed her out. I thought I
gave her a heart attack she laughed so hard.

“Don’t worry Ava, I’m gonna be your new best friend
once you use that thing.”

“Melissa, that thing scares me to death. I’m afraid
of it!”

We chatted a bit more and then I drifted off to
sleep.

The alarm shocked me when it went off and I banged
my head on the doorway heading into the bathroom. I was
disoriented, thinking I was at home. I crashed into the door frame
with my forehead and it throbbed for the good part of an hour. I
was sure to have a good bruise there before long.

Since I didn’t know what the office dress code would
be, I erred on the side of caution and wore a black pant suit. That
would help disguise some of my girth as well. I hit the hotel
restaurant and ate an omelet with coffee. I would’ve ordered grits,
but they weren’t on the menu here. The West coast didn’t believe in
grits, I guessed.

The bellman flagged a taxi for me and I was at
SoftwarePlus in no time really. I’d chosen the hotel, based on my
new boss’ recommendation. It had worked out perfectly.

I gave my name at the desk and they gave me a
visitor’s badge and told me where to go. By the time I got there,
John Bremen, my boss, was waiting for me.

“Welcome to SoftwarePlus, Avery,” he held out his
hand and I shook it.

We did all the usual first day paperwork stuff. Ugh,
I hated this stuff. All the HR forms, benefits stuff, 401k and
other usual necessities. Then he took me on a tour which took the
better part of two hours. This place was amazing. It had everything
including a ton of kitchen sinks.

“We’re only really seeing the shell Avery. We don’t
have time to see the heart of it all...the R&D, where all the
brainiacs come together and make it happen.”

“I love it John.”

“Great. Well, I’m glad to have you on board. I can’t
wait for you to meet the rest of my finance team.”

We made our way back to his office for some more
first day initiation things. Before I knew it, we were headed to
the cafe for lunch.

“Everything is healthy and organic here. It’s all
good for you.”

“I guess that means I’m gonna have to give up my
barbecue and Krispy Kremes, huh?”

I got a really funny look from him. And then he
said, “So Avery, would you like to see the company exercise
facility?”

WTF? Was he telling me I was fat because he really
didn’t have to bother?

I smiled my sweet Southern charming smile and added
some extra sugar to it when I said, “Well sure, John. I would just
love that!”

He grinned as big as a man could grin so on our way
back from the cafe, he gave me the grand tour of the exercise
facility. It was really something, I’ve gotta say. Melissa would’ve
loved it.

“Boy oh boy. My best friend would just love this
place. She’s a sumo wrestler and she could really do some training
here.”

I didn’t think a man’s eyebrows could leap into his
hairline, but I was wrong. John’s did. It was a good thing we
weren’t eating or he would’ve choked too.

“Sumo wrestler? Your neighbor? A woman?”

“Oh yeah. I did it for a while too. But it’s really
hard. You have to spend a ton of time eating Ben and Jerry’s and
bacon and fried Snickers Bars and all. And then there are the
workouts. I mean it’s like a full time job.”

Poor John. He was really in for it with me.

“By the way, John, did I tell you
what happened to me when I went through security in the airport
yesterday?” I’m not sure how the man survived the rest of the
afternoon. He could, however, find no fault with my
work.

Chapter 4

Preston

The last time I’d been in Seattle was before Justin
and Caroline had gotten hitched. They were still neighbors, living
across the hall from each other in that great apartment building.
I’d helped her move in and buy furniture and things. Since then,
they’d upgraded. I mean really upgraded. They were living in grand
style on the highly coveted West Highland Drive, a terribly
exclusive area of Seattle. It was a short commute for Justin to the
University of Washington, where he was an attending orthopedic
surgeon and an extremely talented one from what I understood. His
specialty was reconstructing shattered bones. It was a good thing
too, because he and my sister had been in a bad car wreck and her
leg had been all but demolished. I’d been told that if it weren’t
for Justin, she wouldn’t have that leg today.