Kitty's Countryside Dream (12 page)

The direction of Tom's life was about to change dramatically. He had new responsibilities, lifetime responsibilities, and I needed to get over my crush. Glancing over at the cottage, I pictured Jeannie at some point moving in with Tom. It wouldn't be long before their child would be tottering around the yard. Biting down hard on my bottom lip, I prayed hard that the tears wouldn't roll down my face.

‘Are you OK?'

I whirled round to find Tom standing in front of me.

Gosh, it was all so complicated.

‘Yes, of course I'm OK, I just needed a minute. I was feeling a little overwhelmed with everyone being so kind to me today.' I nodded sheepishly, swallowing the lump in my throat. ‘Will you excuse me? I promised to lead Conker around the field next,' I continued.

Now it was too late to even mention my feelings towards him – it would be cruel to throw them into the mix, and Jeannie was my friend. What sort of friend was I if I couldn't be happy for them both?

Any last hope I ever had of Tom even noticing that I existed had just evaporated before my very eyes. Jeannie was pregnant with his baby. They would become a family. There was no doubt about it – both of them would be terrific parents.

How things changed in such a small space of time.

Even though the next few hours flew by, I carried on in a trance. Numerous people introduced themselves to me; I smiled in the right places and nodded when it was needed, but I didn't remember any of their names.

The hordes of people were now dispersing rapidly. Tired children clutching their chocolate eggs and balloons could be seen trailing down the long driveway, heading home, behind their parents.

Tom, Robin and Lucinda were gathered in a huddle outside the office.

‘What next?' I asked.

‘A huge tidy-up,' said Robin, wiping his hand across his brow. ‘That was a busy day.'

‘Then as far as I'm concerned it's wine o'clock,' chipped in Lucinda.

I hadn't even managed to catch up with Lucinda. She had been flat out, decorating cupcakes and gingerbread men with the children at one of the tables near the bottom of the driveway.

I saluted Lucinda. ‘Wine o'clock definitely sounds like a plan to me.'

I spotted Jeannie heading in our direction. I smiled but scurried past her, shouting that I'd untack Conker who was currently tied up by his lead rope to the fence in the bottom field. Usually I was up for a bit of company– after all, I spent enough time on my own – but right at this very minute my head was whirling, and I needed time to gather my thoughts.

Nipping into the far stable to grab a handful of carrots for Conker, I stopped dead in my tracks. The entire stable was swathed with twinkly fairy lights draped around the walls. In the middle were two chairs facing each other on either side of a small table. A white linen cloth adorned the table, decorated skilfully with scattered sugar-pink rose petals. Dozens of tea lights were dotted over the floor, yet to be lit. It was plain to see a romantic meal was on the cards. Jeannie must have been up at the crack of dawn, getting this prepared. She was obviously planning on telling Tom the wonderful news that he was about to become a father.

Collecting my thoughts, I flung my arms around myself whilst I shivered. My whole body was trembling. My heart was pounding. Regardless of what my thoughts were on the situation, Jeannie had gone to great lengths to set the scene and she had achieved it perfectly.

Turning around, I closed the stable door behind me. Putting on a brave face, my eyes pricked with tears.

My feet stumbling in front of each other, I reached Conker. Throwing my arms around his neck, I buried my face deep into his neck. I felt so sad.

Startled, I felt a warm hand being placed on my arm.

‘Well, that's a sigh and a half.'

I looked up to find Robin holding out a can of beer towards me.

‘I thought you might like one of these. Everyone's been working so hard and today's been a resounding success.'

I took the can from him and nodded my appreciation. Robin was a total sweetheart; he was a kind man and most definitely handsome. Maybe I should give it a go – I didn't have anything to lose. Pulling back the ring pull, Robin chinked his can against mine.

‘Here's to us,' he whispered softly whilst looking into my eyes. We both took a swig. Gently his fingers reached for mine. Taking the can from my hand, he bent down and placed it on the ground with his. Pulling me close, he wrapped his arms around me and hugged me. Resting his chin on top of my head, he spoke softly.

‘I really like you, Kitty.'

Gulping, I felt I was being watched. Looking up over his shoulder, I saw Tom further up the field staring at us. I felt myself blush; hotness burnt in my cheeks. Our eyes met but he shifted his gaze to the ground and quickly turned and walked away. Robin still had his arms tightly wrapped around my body.

I hesitated and then looked up at him.

He was waiting for me to speak. He was waiting for me to say something. His expression was earnest, but his eyes sparkled with anticipation. I faltered at first, but before I'd made up my mind about anything, I heard the words leave my lips: ‘I like you too.'

I had no idea what I was doing.

I
spent
the rest of Easter in something of a daze. Truth be known, I was a bit of a mess. I didn't even bother to change out of my pyjamas for a couple of days and spent most of the time curled up on the sofa, reading, with Alfie by my side. I continually glanced down at the page of my book and found myself rereading the same sentences over and over again. The day of the Easter-egg hunt had been an emotional journey. At the start I had been overjoyed, ecstatic, looking forward to the day ahead, then my mood had turned sombre. I felt battered and bruised. It had hit me hard when Jeannie had shared the news that she was expecting a baby. It wasn't something I was expecting to hear. The setting in the stable was truly romantic and Tom would be celebrating by now. I knew I should feel happy for them both, but it didn't stop me feeling incredibly sad. I wasn't ready to speak to anyone. Looking up at the blue sky through the living-room window, my thoughts turned to my parents. I could hear my mother's voice shouting down at me, telling me to pull myself together. I smiled; sometimes she nagged way too much for my liking.

Before Mum became ill she'd been a very calming influence in my life. One of our favourite things to do had been to flick through an old suitcase of photographs that was full to the brim of my childhood memories. Mum would take each photograph out of the case and relay when and where the picture had been taken. The oldest photograph of me was with my parents, standing outside our home whilst they clutched their new bundle of joy; I was wrapped up tightly in a white crocheted blanket. My mum used to keep the suitcase on the top shelf of her wardrobe; I always needed to ask her permission to look at the photographs because I was too small to reach the shelf. That suitcase was one of the things I kept from my old family home. It held special memories, and in fact all my memories of my mother and father were secured inside that case.

Thinking about the case and its treasures, I wondered once more why my parents had never mentioned my grandparents to me and why I had never seen a photo. Why had I never met them? My mum was a kind, decent person and I wasn't aware she had any deep, dark family secrets to hide. I was very surprised that she'd kept this information from me. It was all a mystery and a mystery that no doubt would be difficult to solve, yet I was determined that someone somewhere must know something.

Pulling myself to my feet, I wandered into the kitchen to make a fresh drink. When I'd got up, Alfie had peeped from one of his eyes, but had soon closed it again; he was as lazy as me this weekend. Settling back down on the settee, I rested my head on the arm. Slowly my eyes closed and I must have dozed off into a deep sleep because I was woken by the paperboy posting the free paper through the letter box. Glancing over to the clock, I realised I'd been asleep for nearly three hours. I picked up my untouched cold mug of tea and walked into the kitchen.

A microwave meal for one was on the cards for tonight's tea; either that or beans on toast made with stale bread. I sighed and glanced out into my little yard at the back of the house; the climbers were certainly doing their job, and it was amazing how much surface the new green shoots could cover in such a short space of time. After making a fresh cuppa I pulled the kitchen chair out from underneath the table and plonked myself down. Taking a sip of my tea, I knew what I needed to do. I needed to get on with it. This was about the happiness of Jeannie and Tom and their unborn child. It wasn't about me; it was about what was right for them. Luckily for me it had been the Easter holidays and up at the Lodge Tom and the farmhands had it under control. Tomorrow I was due back in work and I would embrace the situation. I wanted to be a part of their lives and if that meant this was the only way, then I would grasp it with both hands. They were my friends, the closest thing I had to family. The wallowing in self-pity stopped right here.

There was only one thing for it: a long soak in the bath accompanied by a large glass of wine. I knew after I'd washed my hair and climbed into a clean set of PJs that everything would feel a whole lot better.

The following morning, cycling up the long driveway, I couldn't help but smile – there was Dotty with her army of fluffy chicks foraging around in the flower beds outside the cottage. Tom's boots were missing from the doorway, which meant he was up and about and more than likely feeding the chickens in the bottom field. At that moment, I spotted him walking up the yard towards me, swinging the baskets of eggs, which were full to the brim.

‘Morning, Kitty, how are you?' He appeared quite chirpy. He must be happy with the news then, I thought.

It was one thing having a secret crush on Tom, but I was so relieved I hadn't acted on it.

‘Absolutely fine, thank you. How about you?'

I waited for Tom to gush with his news, but there was nothing, not even a hint he was about to become a dad.

I stared at him, waiting.

‘Why are you staring at me like that?'

‘Like what?'

‘Like that,' he said, laughing and imitating my expression.

Shaking my head, I said, ‘No particular reason. Did you have a good Easter?' I asked, managing to change the subject quickly.

‘Very quiet to be honest. I moseyed around the farm and tidied up the clutter inside one of the barns, oh and I made a list of jobs that need to be carried out this week.'

‘It sounds like you had a ball!' I joked.

‘There wasn't much left to do once the Easter-egg hunt had finished, so I made the most of the quiet time.'

I bet he did, I thought. Soon Tom would have no idea what quiet time was when he was cradling a baby that was crying morning, noon and night.

‘Anyway, so come on, what's going on between you and Robin? Is there romance on the cards? Come and tell me all about it,' Tom said, plonking himself down on the bench and patting the space next to him.

There were a million and one things I could have said but I didn't. A surge of emotion rushed through my body.

‘There's nothing to tell,' I said, sitting next to him, flexing my wellington boots and avoiding eye contact with him at all costs.

Silence.

Gazing up at him, I saw he was grinning at me and I met his inquisitive stare. ‘Now, Kitty Lewis, do you want to tell me the truth?'

‘Honestly, there's nothing to tell.' There wasn't actually anything to tell. I hadn't clapped eyes on Robin since he wrapped his arms around me in the field. I had spoken to him on the phone a couple of times but I told him I was a little unwell and I'd catch up with him soon.

‘Well, if that's the way you want to play it, then so be it.' He scrunched his face up teasingly at me and patted my knee. I felt myself blush. ‘Come on, you; I have a different kind of job for you to do today.'

‘Hang on a minute, I thought I was the boss!' I joked. ‘Shouldn't I be the one giving out the orders?'

‘You delegated that job to me! No doubt you'll be giving out orders very soon, but in the meantime …' He laughed.

Following him into the office, I stared around the room. It most definitely looked like a bomb had exploded. Every drawer in the filing cabinet was ajar and there were piles and piles of papers stacked up, covering the desk. I had no idea what any of them were for.

‘What's going on in here?'

‘It's that time of year when not only the coops receive an extra spring clean but the paperwork needs a thorough sort out too.'

‘There's a lot of paperwork to sort out,' I commented.

‘It's not too bad. Those piles over there are for shredding – the shredder is just behind the desk on the floor. Those invoices are over five years old so we can destroy those and then move the remaining ones in the filing cabinet up a year and so on. To be honest, anything you think we don't need anymore just destroy it. Let's reshuffle this filing system so each and every one of us will know exactly where everything is.'

‘Yes, I can do that. I'll make a start now,' I offered, removing my jacket and throwing it over the back of the chair. Obviously I hadn't a clue what I was doing, but sitting in the office for most of the day suited me down to the ground.

‘Once you've worked your way through this little lot, there's also that cupboard over there that's bursting with paperwork. Could you possibly see what you could do with that lot as well?'

‘Not a problem. What's in that safe there?' I asked, pointing to another cupboard-like feature with a combination keypad on the front.

Tom looked up to where I was pointing. ‘I've no idea what's in there; that was Agnes's cupboard. I don't even know what the combination is for the lock,' he said, shrugging.

‘OK, I'll work my way through these papers first.' Walking over to the radio, I switched it on and sank down into the office chair.

Suddenly the office door opened and in walked Jeannie. ‘Good morning, you pair. I was wondering where you were,' she said and smiled.

This morning Jeannie looked radiant. Her skin was clear and her cheeks a little flushed. Standing at the door, she cupped one of her hands underneath her stomach. It was an instinctive reaction, but there was nothing to see as yet. Her overalls were still baggy, but no doubt that would soon change as the months rolled on.

‘Good morning, Jeannie,' Tom replied. I watched with curiosity; there was nothing, nothing at all – not even a hint that they were in a relationship, never mind having a baby together. If I hadn't known, there was no way I would've guessed. I was impressed that they weren't letting their private life impinge on their professional life, so to speak.

‘Perfect timing, Jeannie. Please will you pass me those bin bags and switch that kettle on? I may as well have a cuppa whilst I sort through this paperwork,' I said.

Jeannie scrunched her face up at me. ‘Cheeky, what did your last slave die of?' she joked.

‘Huh?' I pretended to be insulted.

‘I'll leave you girls to it. I'm heading down to the barn to pack the eggs for the deliveries. I'll see you later.' And with that Tom was gone and the door closed behind him.

Perching on the desk, Jeannie swung her legs back and forth waiting for the kettle to boil. I was tempted to ask how Tom had taken the news of the baby but something held me back. I didn't want to pry. Jeannie would tell me in her own good time, and unless Tom mentioned the baby I wouldn't say a word. They didn't need me interfering. I was sure Tom would be shocked but delighted, and maybe the pair of them had decided to keep their news quiet until after their first scan. Wasn't that what most couples did?

‘How are you feeling, Jeannie?'

‘Absolutely great this morning. I've nibbled on a couple of ginger biscuits, which seemed to curb my sickness a little.'

‘Any mad cravings? Pickled onions, roast beef monster munch or eating ice?'

Jeannie looked up at me like I had gone mad. ‘Eating ice?'

‘Yes, eating ice! Honestly, I saw it on a TV programme once. There was a pregnant woman who would just order a glass of ice at the bar. Then she would sit there and quite happily chew her way through it!'

‘Ewww … no ice chewing for me, but I am a little partial to chocolate though. Chocolate for breakfast seems to be the norm at the moment.'

‘By any pregnant woman's reckoning that's probably the most wonderful craving to have.'

After a quick drink, Jeannie disappeared out of the office door to carry on with her chores. Glancing around the room, I didn't know which mound of paperwork to start on first. Grabbing the pile nearest to me, I thought I might as well start with the desk because once that was clear it would be easier to work from the uncluttered space.

Sitting on the floor, I fed each sheet through the chrome teeth of the shredder. To tell the truth, I hadn't really got a clue how important any of it was. But I was sure we didn't need to know that Willard Jones ordered ten dozen boxes of eggs to sell in his butcher's shop over half a decade ago. It was a very therapeutic job though, and it certainly wasn't taxing. The piles were soon diminishing.

Nearly two hours and several bin bags of shredded paper later, I was near the end. Sipping on a glass of water, I scanned the room – only two smaller piles left to shred, then I'd have a look to see what was inside the cupboard. Dragging the bursting bin bags across the office floor and out the door, I piled them up outside. Out of the corner of my eye, I noticed Tom striding up the path towards Brambleberry Cottage. He always returned home for his lunch. Since beginning work at the Lodge I could never remember Tom spending his lunchtime with Jeannie and me. He paused outside the door – he must have sensed me watching him. Turning around, he waved his hand above his head in my direction then disappeared through the front door.

Going back inside the office, I stared at the cupboard. I'd skipped breakfast this morning and now my stomach was beginning to gurgle and hunger pains were slowly creeping in. I decided to break for lunch before I started to clear out the final cupboard.

Jeannie popped her head around the door. ‘Are you ready to eat?'

‘You read my mind! Yes, come on, let's eat before I start on the rest of this clearance.'

‘How's it going in here? Are you able to sort it into some sort of order?'

‘It's not been too difficult. If in doubt I feed it through the shredder!' I laughed.

‘That sounds like the best way.'

‘I've got that one left,' I nodded in the direction of the cupboard, ‘and then I'll reorganise the filing system.'

‘What's in there?' Jeannie pointed over to the safe.

‘Tom said that belonged to my grandmother. He doesn't know the code to open it, so I'm not entirely sure.'

Grabbing the carrier bag containing my lunch from the top of the filing cabinet, I followed Jeannie outside and we sank down onto the bench. She stretched her legs straight out in front of her then sighed. For a split second I had forgotten she was pregnant.